So, thou hast resorted to alighting on Zoheb's author page? BWAHAHAHA...! Thou shalt never leave this place of nightmares eternal; my hypnotic powers COMPEL you to stay!
Still here? Good, I thought that you had left already. Thats what a sensible person would do anyway... which would mean that you are not a sensible person! Good for you! You sound like the sort of person I like to know.
Now, things can only get wierder from here, so just remember that all you have to do is press backspace and you'll be reasonably safe.
SCOREBOARD:Zoheb : 2, Mods: 3
Now then, *rubs hands together* on to the unnecessary personal information! Huzzar!
Name: Chuckles the Flying Skull... no, I'm just joking- or am I?
Date of Birth: 26-10-1992
Lunatic Rating: Not first class. Harmless and taciturn... but only when sleeping.
Personality: Not a very pleasant person. Very emotional and angers easily. Has strange moments when all logic seems to be thrown out the window. Proceed with caution.
Nationality: Bangladeshi. We used to be in first place for Most Corrrupt Country... but no longer. THEY STOLE IT FROM US: OUR PRECIOUS! *Gollum! Gollum!*
Religion: Islam. I like it, so there!
Physical description: What's it to you?
Favorite Activities: Being wierd and random; being taciturn and boring; being intelligent and sarcastic; playing Strategy Games; listening to good music; reading fantasy, crazy sci-fi, general science fiction, thrillers, comedies, comics; sketching; and (My favorite) staring into the distance, silent in my thoughts (Mostly involving apocalyptic battles with lots of lovely dragons slaughtering each other, with the odd horror of Hell thrown in here and there).
Favorite literature: The Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion, the very inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy, Angels and Demons, Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, Congo, Life of Pi, The Ruby in the Smoke, The Shadow in the North, The Tiger in the Well, The Tin Princess, To Kill a Mockingbird, the Old Kingdom Trilogy, Discworld, AVENGER, P. G. Wodehouse, JOB: A Comedy of Justice, The Wheel of Time series.
Favorite comic series: Asterix
Favorite bands: Opeth, Dream Theater, Tool, Liquid Tension, Porcupine Tree, Pink Floyd, Helloween, A Perfect Circle, In Flames, Queensryche. The full list is quite exhaustive.
Favorite poem: 'Oh freddled gruntbuggly’ (Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz)
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed"- Marvin (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)
"Your weasels are untied!"- Rejwanul Islam
"BWAHAHAHAHA (So ad infinitum)"- Any evil lord worth his salt.
"These Romans are crazy!"- Obelix (Asterix)
"What'cha got for me, Billy-bob? "- Myself (Oh, how I long to use it in a proper conversation!)
"Go away: I'm alright..."- H. G. Wells (Last words)
"I'm gaseous, invisible... and deadly"- Undead Shade (Warcraft 3: TFT)
"If there's only one nation in the sky, then shouldn't all passpors be valid for it?"- Piscine Molitor Patel (Life of Pi)
Thank you for taking an interest. By now you should have realized that all your efforts have been for naught, because sleazes like me are running amock all over the place. 'Tis a sad, sad reality of the world.
You can talk to me on msn if you feel like it- just don't bother me too much.
I have decided that you can only be allowed to speak to me after you answer these simple (Oh, don't you just wish they were!) questions:
A) If I were to peel a potato, would I sing "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" or "Take this Life' as I peel it?
B) How many wildebeests am I holding up?
C) Complete this sentence: "Hello, my name is Voldemort and my favorite Pokemon is [Insert name here]".
D) If London was a giant cucumber, then what would Dhaka be? (This is the most important question of them all).
E) Have you ever dreamt about cottage cheese with onions- and a side-order of tuna casserole?
F) Are you still here?
G) Suggest a good name for the star actor in the movie "The Last Dodo Hero."
H) "Dolores Umbridge is so blazin' hot"- if that thought is crossing your mind right now, then stay the Niflheim away from me.
Mail me with the answers, and I will decide whether you are worthy... or else you will be blocked with a titanium wall... bwahahaha...
Goodbye, young rhinoceros: may you graze long and well.
Oh...! As I leave you, I would just like you to read this little ditty I cooked up *clears throat*:
"Oh, Switzerland/ How I dream of thee...!/ Where the sun doth shine,/ and the chocolate is free...!"
CUT! Aaannd that's a wrap!
3rd-5th Years • 23 Reviews
This 'poem' (For want of a better word) is not so much about 'Harry Potter' as it is about werewolves. But since werewolves are a major part of 'Harry Potter', I suppose that this might have a place here.
This is inspired by Cradle of Filth's 'Her Ghost in the Fog' and Opeth's 'The Baying of the Hounds'. Enjoy, all you sociopaths out there.