Summary: This was part of a Mary-sue writing contest I had with my friends. This is a parody, and very much a Mary-sue. I do not like Mary Sues, and I realized that even more after writing this. Don't take any of this stuff seriously! As for character butchering…I am truly sorry. I have an unhealthy love for the Harry Potter books and each and every character, but I also have a twisted sense of humor. Also, yes, I am from Texas.