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Stories by harrypotterfangirl21 [8]
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Reviews by harrypotterfangirl21

Home Improvement by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: When Ron Weasley is promoted to a rather high rank in the Auror business, his mother congratulates him by informing him that it's high time he found a place of his own.

Ron may be quite good at his job as an Auror, but he now faces the most difficult challenge of all...

Ridiculously short one-shot that I wrote for some challenge about a year ago and never submitted. It's also my first one-shot that's not about Voldemort and the Death Eaters! Gasp!
Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only


Ahem. Now that I've gotten my manical laughing out of the system, I can continue with the serious reviewing.

Lines that caused me to snort in a rather unladylike manner:



... I think I’m scarred for life.”

“Um, you already were,” Ron reminded him, indicating his forehead.

“Oh. Er, yeah.”

The only thing that annoyed me was that Hermione didn't realise the poems were about her... she's really smart, after all.

Other than that, fantastic job! (As usual.)

- Katie

Author's Response: Oh, thanks Katie! Your reviews always make me happy! Although I wasn\'t exactly expecting maniacal laughing... you know, I\'m pretty sure Hermione knew exactly what the poems were about, but she was too polite to say anything (especially in front of Harry), mainly because in THIS story, she and Ron aren\'t dating yet.

Keep Holding On by BeautifulDreamer07

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: On a dark Halloween night many years ago, a young mother died shielding her infant son from certain death at the hand of the Dark Lord. Her love and the protection of her sacrifice turned the Killing Curse meant for her son back on the Dark Lord who cast it. The Dark Lord was ripped from his body and left formless, weak, and pathetic.

Many years later, the Dark Lord regained his body and set out to destroy the Boy-Who-Lived. But in the final battle of good vs. evil, will the love of his mother's sacrifice be able to save Harry Potter again?

AN: Avril Lavigne owns the lyrics to Keep Holding On
Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Keep Holding On

That was beautiful... I love how you had Harry defeat Voldemort using *love*, not an Avada Kedavra or the Veil, as a lot of other fic writers had done.This was a really original take on the Final Battle.

The song was perfectly chosen, and the flashback to the night Harry got his scar at the beginning of the fic flowed beautifully and seamlessly into the Final Battle scene.

Also, the line at the end talking about how Harry thought about how love had saved him was the perfect wrap-up.

Great job!

- Katie

The Little Girl In White by hermione210

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Hermione moves into a new apartment and is shocked when she wakes up on her first day of living there. Who is this little girl? Why won't she talk? Hermione is determined to find out.
Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/19/07 Title: Chapter 5: Jonathan

TEH BECCA! *tacklehugs*

Yay! Chapter Five is up! The chapter where Hermione gets more information on everything! Chapter Six in my fave, though, even though 'tis the least happiest (is that a word? Ah, well, it is now.) chapter.

But this one's great too! Especially the ending. . . . (CLIFFIE TIME!)

- Teh Katie

Author's Response: Now, now, Katie, teasing the poor little readers who haven\'t read the next chapter yet is just cruel. (Chapter Six is my favorite too! Me? Taunting? I have no idea what you\'re talking about. And happiest is a word.) Maybe there\'ll be a Chapter Six as a present for the readers (and Chapter Seven as a present for Teh Katie...)

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/08/07 Title: Chapter 2: Candyland Works Wonders

Second chapter up! Woot! :)

Candyland... that game was fun.

I liked the slight cliffie at the end - not wnough to make me jump up and scream "WHAT HAPPENS NOW?", but just enough to make me want to read more.

Looking forward to the next chapter you send me!

- Katie

Author's Response: But you already KNOW what happens next! So of course you aren\'t going to be jumping and screaming. And I\'ve just sent you the next chapter- check your e-mail. *luff on teh Katie*

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: Discoveries


This was accepted! All I can say to teh Becca is that she has done a great job so far, and that she deserves congratulations and reviews! ;)

- Katie

P.S. No, teh Becca did NOT make me say that.

P.P.S. Waiting for the next chapter, dear!

Author's Response: *squees for teh Katie\'s review* My lovely beta / fellow strange person, thank you for your hard work in helping me get this posted. My favorite-est chapter is in teh queue (well, no, it\'s not my favorite chapter, but my inner four-year-old loves it. You know why. :) But I do love it.)
And, surprisingly, she wasn\'t lying in her PS. I really didn\'t make her say that!

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 4: Developments

Yay to teh Becca for getting up another chappie! :D

I lurved the ending to this one - the article is SO sweet and sad!

Patiently waiting for the next chapter you send me...

- Katie

Author's Response: Yay for teh Katie for being so awesome!

Next chapter\'s coming soonish, I pinky-swear.

~Teh Becca

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/28/07 Title: Chapter 3: Adventures

Becca! The angsty chapter is up!

(And you still need to send me Chapter - I think it's 5? - m'dear.)

This is my favourite chapter that I've read so far. I loved the flashback, I love the descriptions, and I love the characters, who are more real than some people I know in RL.

Great job. (Again.)

- Katie

Author's Response: Katie! I know- I\'m so glad. *lurves the angsty chapter*


Aww. No matter how many times you tell me you love this chapter, I never get tired of it. *basks in Katie-praise* Thank you, Katie! ~Becca

The Three Word Story: The Flying Cow by TheThreeWordStory

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: In this story you shall find a naked Marauder, House Elves with lime green paint, McGonagall in a skimpy red rubber dress, and a scheming Sirius Black. Written by Gryffindors very random in their ways, such as writing stories like this, three words at a time.

Authors were: Mrsgeorgeweasley, hansolohpfrk, Stubbornly_appeared, beauty and brains, dragonwings, voldy, stareyed_in_LA, Disappearance 26, pureblood.princess, meryal, Euphrates, james_fanatic, Beauiful Dreamer07, Madame Maruader, Noel Weasley, kehribar, solemnlyswear_x, Secret Seeker, SnowyHedwig112, Dumbledore Prince, TheFluffyBunnyOfDOOM, life_lemons, Nutz-chan, _bridges_, harrypotterfangirl21.

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and only!


I know I helped write this, but... wow.

It just occured to me how random-ith we are. ^_^

- Katie


Author's Response: :D I completely agree, Katie. Hmm... what to say... ITH! (Oh, and let\'s keep the chatter to the forums, we don\'t want to get busted for spammy reviews, do we?) -Stubby

Author's Response: Eh, true, Stubby. I\'m responding to my own review. . . KEWL. - Katie

What Became of His Shattered Souls by A Cappella

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: What happened to the infamous Lord Voldemort after he died?

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 09/12/07 Title: Chapter 1: What Became of His Shattered Souls

That was absolutely terrifying, and I think it's going to give me nightmares.

Well done.

I can see this happening, actually - if anyone deserves it, Voldemort does. It almost reminds me of the Titans in Ancient Greece who were subjected to eternal torture (Google it, you'll see what I mean.)

Still, though, I have one comment to make. When the figures Voldemort used to make his Horcruxes appeared, there was "a young man with messy black hair and glasses," who is clearly James Potter. But Voldemort didn't use him to create a Horcrux - he used Bertha Jorkins.

Other than that, this was excellently written - great job. Even though I may have nightmares later, as I previously mentioned, I hope you win.

- Katie

Author's Response: Thanks for the brilliant review! :) This story terrified me too! But I hope you don\'t have nightmares! Actually, the young man with messy black hair is Harry, because part of Voldemort\'s soul latched onto him. I\'m really glad you pointed this out, because I realized I hadn\'t included Bertha in the story. *goes to add*

Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.

Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.

Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.

Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.

But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton
Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/02/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: In Which Lily Gets, If Possible, Even More Irritated

Um, no, you didn't send this one to me, I'm afraid.

Of course I'll still beta it! I'm not *that* evil, you know.

NOT SPAM: Love this fic! Can't wait for Chapter 4!

- Katie

Author's Response: Are you sure?? I sent one about a week ago with the subject line \"I\'m sending this from my dad\'s email address\" because mine wasn\'t working. Maybe your compooter blocked it as spam?

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/16/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

Psychic Mind Connection? Perhaps. . . .


. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .


Er, I meant three. . . right. . . .

'Fglad' has three definitions:

1) to be glad with a Transylvanian accent

2) a typo made by Schmergo

3) a rare species of turkey that is found only in Brazil that tastes delicious, but only when cooked in rosemary and barbeque sauce, and has rather sharp teeth and claws that tend to rip peaceful villagers to shreds from time to time

See, THIS is what happens when I drink a French Vanilla Frappuccino! I get random and hyper and I'm singing at the top of my lungs and oh my Godric is that something shiny???

*wanders off*

- Katie The Hyper

Author's Response: Hahahaha.... I actually did guess three... Now I\'m imagining an accent that fputs \'f\' fbefore fall fof ftheir fwords....
I kind of would prefer if you didn\'t just leave spammy reviews, though... not because I don\'t enjoy them, but because the mods get annoyed.

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/02/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: In Which Lily Gets, If Possible, Even More Irritated

*shakes head*

It's not in my Bulk Folder. Maybe you typed the address wrong? If yo ulost it, just PM me and I'll resend my address.

NOTSPAM: This was such an original idea for a fic!

- Katie

Author's Response: Hmmmm... *strokes chin* I\'ll try to send it again in a few minutes from my own email address and see what happens.

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 10/19/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: In Which Snape Drives a Very, Very Hard Bargain

You’re brilliant. Absolutely, positively, brilliant. I don’t even know where to begin reviewing… so I’ll start at the beginning! :)

I love your description of Snape. It was perfect.

Instead, he simply said in a voice that sounded so measured and polite that it was impolite, “Perhaps someone should inform your husband that ‘baguette’ does not rhyme with ‘maggot.’” I’m sorry, but I don’t understand this line. I couldn’t find anything that mentioned ‘maggot.’ Of course, I’m really dumb, so that might just be me being an idiot. *rolls eyes*

He sure likes using those three little dots, Lily couldn’t help but think. But then, I really like italics, so I can’t talk. Wow. I made this weird little noise there — I kind of snorted and squeaked at the same time. My cousin thought I had stepped on her cat.

Don’t end a sentence with a preposition, said her conscience. She had a writer’s conscience, which was an awful lot like a beta reader. Oh my Godric. That’s hilarious. And the scary thing is, you’re funny without even trying (or so it seems)…

“Thank you, m’lord,” gasped Desiderius, flopping back into his seat like an invalid starfish with relief. 0_0 An invalid starfish. A starfish that is invalid. Invalid is the starfish. Starfish is the invalid. I cannot get over that line.

Now, TIME FOR CHAPTER FOUR! *nudgenudgewinkwink*

- Katie

Author's Response: Awwww! I always love your reviews! I shall definitely nominate you for \"Best Reviewer\" next QSQ.

James\'s line was stolen from a Smosh video (online comedy shorts) where one of the characters says \"Let\'s try cutting this baguette!\" but he pronounces it \'baggot,\' and the other guy goes \'WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?\" Those two Smosh guys always reminded me of James and Sirius, so I put it in. There\'s a really rude, very impolite word that rhymes with \'maggot\' that\'s uised against homosexual people that you should be very glad you don\'t know!

The thing about the \'writer\'s conscience\' will come back! And the conscience\'s name is Katie, by the way... I think I mentioned that.

This story is very silly, isn\'t it? ^_^

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: On The Streets Of London

How did I not review this yet? *scratches head*


Yurp. That about covers it...

Oh, and at my voice lesson, my teacher said we're moving from 'Phantom of the Opera' to singing - guess what? - 'The Scarlet Pimpernel.' (She has a knack for picking things you spoof... though I daresay we won't be singing 'High School Musical' or the Beatles any time soon.)

- Katie

Author's Response: ZOMG, you\'re singing Scarlet Pimpernel? I recommend singing \"When I Look At You.\" I did that song. ^_^ Or the Riddle, if you like things sinister... My favourite songs are \"Falcon In The Dive\" and \"Into the Fire\" but those aren\'t necessarily good songs for a female range.

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: On The Streets Of London

By the way, 'Voldemort' IS French - it means 'flight from death.' (I looked it up, because I'm too stuuuuupid to learn a language.)

And the Monty Python reference made me laugh.

- Katie

Author's Response: OH GOOD. Here I was hoping I was accurate! I\'m glad you caught the Python reference. Your drabble for the humour class was hilarious, by the way. I love Hermione\'s song.

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 10/15/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which No One's Actually French Or Happy

Yay! Chapter Two is up!

And you credited me for beta-ing! And you, the funniest person I know, called me hilarious! WOOT! (Except you left out the 'h' in 'harrypotterfangirl21.' But I digress.)

Er... just a quick question for ya: How's Chapter Three submitted? You never gave it to me, you see... *is completely confuzzled*

*hopes Schmergo has not forgotten about her*

- Katie

P.S. So this is less spammy, nice cligghanger there at the end.

Author's Response: Oh-- Katie, I was about to email you to tell you that my friend RealLifeBeta\'d chapter 3 for me, which means she wrote comments on it by hand and gave it to me. It\'s one of the fun things to do in Algebra class! And I was quite anxious to submit it, because this chapter took FOREVAH in queue.

Author's Response: Oh-- Katie, I was about to email you to tell you that my friend RealLifeBeta\'d chapter 3 for me, which means she wrote comments on it by hand and gave it to me. It\'s one of the fun things to do in Algebra class! And I was quite anxious to submit it, because this chapter took FOREVAH in queue.

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 10/15/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which No One's Actually French Or Happy

That's fine. (I usually draw in Algebra, myself.) Just send me Chapter Four whenever you're done. :)

Also, that was supposed to be "cliffhanger" there at the end of my last review - not "cligghanger," which isn't even a real word. ^^;

- Katie

Author's Response: Righty-o! And I don\'t mind a typo, since I apparently messed up your username! And I can\'t even edit it until Chappie 3 goes through, because it\'ll RESUBMIT IT! Oh waily waily!

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/14/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

MNFF MAKES ME MAD. There, I said it.
I added this story to my Favourites List, and I DIDN'T GET THE EMAIL when it was updated! BLEH. So, this review’s a little late in coming. . . . Sorry about that. ^^;

First of all, AHOHEMGEE, “Where’s The Girl” is my favourite song from this musical! I like pretty much all of them, but that’s the one that I listened to for about an hour straight last night — that, and “Falcon In The Dive.” (Terrence Mann is amazing, no? Though I also really like "Madame Guillotine," "The Riddle," "Into The Fire," and "Only Love.")


Aberforth was of the great belief that this was highly unnatural. The only herb that real men should smell of was garlic. *giggles* I kind of agree about the lavender thing (the guys I know only smell like Axe. >.

Author's Response: BLEH. I really hate it when that happens, it happens all the time! We seem to like the same chapter!

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/14/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: On The Streets Of London


I had a page-and-a-half long review for that, AND MNFF CUT ME OFF!


Here's the rest of the review:

I kind of agree about the lavender thing (the guys I know only smell like Axe. >.

Author's Response: AGABLAAAAAAH!

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21 Signed
Date: 11/14/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so MNFF must seriously hate me. I'm terribly sorry about all this, but here is the rest of the review:

*giggles* I kind of agree about the lavender thing (the guys I know only smell like Axe (EW.)), but GARLIC? EW. Good to eat, bad to smell like, in other words.

“No, no, this is a sherbet lemon, which is a sort of sweet and not dangerous at all, except for possibly causing dental trouble. I don’t quite see how it can be confused with a wand.” HA! Sherbet lemons are actually a bit sour to me, but then, I could be eating a different brand.

I must say, you have Dumbledore perfectly in-character this entire chapter. All of his lines and actions are things that seem EXACTLY like things Dumbledore would say and do. Congrats on an excellent job there.

“Why are you yelling ‘Dumbledore’ so much?” he asked. “I mean, I know, it’s a really cool name… sometimes I just like to yell ‘pudding…’” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! That not only was incredibly hilarious and in-character, but it forcefully reminded me of my one friend who randomly shouts “DEATH,” even though he’s ANYTHING but emo. It’s really funny, actually. Never fails to get me laughing.

Methinks I have trouble staying on topic. . . .

Wow, said Lily’s conscience, who she’d decided to name Katie after her editor. You’ve reached new lows. 0_0

You actually put me in here. For some reason I thought you were kidding. . . . but, anyway. . . . *Ahem* THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! You have quite seriously made my day with this!

The scariest thing is that I kind of sound like that when I’m searching for typos. . . . (And by the way, you’re missing a period at the last line of your summary. What, I’m a nitpicker.)

Babies were born, old men died, a cat cried out in the distance (probably because someone threw another rock at it), a tree fell in the forest, and Mrs. MacGinnis next door yelled at her creepy son for bringing more dead polecats into the house. You know how people (like me) are always telling you that you have a unique, amazing writing style? THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

Putting in a sentence like that laced with humour and fact is one of those little nuances of yours that makes me think “Oh, Schmergo wrote this!” as soon as I see it. ‘Tis very unique, and very creative, and very other adjective that I have forgotten at the moment. ^^;

It was the kind of rock too large for kicking. He heard his toe bones crack. OUCH. Breaking your toe hurts! (I, um, kind of ran into a metal desk last summer and broke two of my toes. Just goes to show hoe graceful I am. *rolls eyes*) Poor Snape! Why are you so mean to him, eh? I know he’s the Chauvelin Villian Dude in this story, but still. . . .

‘Happy’ went on the list of other unSnapely words like ‘shampoo’ and ‘lederhosen’ and ‘kitten’ and ‘lollipop’ and ‘karaoke’ and ‘tango-dancing with Lily under the moonlight wearing matching Gothic-Victorian costumes.’ Another fantastic example of your brilliant writing prowess. (I like that word. For some strange and unknown reason, it reminds me of ‘The Lion King,’ which I just finished watching. (*EMO SOBS for Mufasa*)) That last one gave me the most hilarious mental image in the History Of Ever.

Basically, once again, you’ve outdone yourself. Another excellent chapter, another fit of laughing from me, another plot point to contend with, another song spoof, another long review, and another terribly long sentence that I’m going to stop writing now.

- Katie *sings LOUDLY to ‘Falcon In The Dive’*
*gets strange looks from family*
*shrugs and continues singing*
*uses WAY too many asterisks*

Author's Response: Yeah, they are sour... I take these vitamin C lemon drops to keep my voice in good shape... I really like them.
I think I sometimes yell \'DEATH\' too... it\'s just kind of a funny thing to do.
Katie the Conscience will definitely reappear!
The funny thing is, that sentence you said was so original appears in one of my other stories, \"Oh No, Nott Again.\" My mom pointed out that I reused it... at least I came up with it myself.
I am mean to Snape because at this point he needs redemption! BAD SNAPERS.
I JUST REWATCHED THE LION KING TWO DAYS AGO!!! HAVEN\'T SEEN THAT MOVIE IN SO LONG... AND YOU BRING IT UP RIGHT WHEN I WATCH IT! We have, like, some kind of psychic mind connection! Scar is my favourite Disney character of all. The word \'prowess\' might remind you of Lion King because I think the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz says it.
I\'m so fglad you liked this!

Author's Response: \"Fglad?\" What the Nifleheim is that?