nymphéa: French for water lily, because Lily is one of my favorite characters :)
and pronounced NAM-fay-AH
This story was so honest...I love how well you've explained James' feelings. This isn't a plot-heavy story, but it's so important for you as an author to understand James' feelings; I've tried to do this myself and just pause to figure out--and write--what James and Lily feel for each other. I would love to see you write a story from Lily's POV. This story is so accurate, though, right on in every sense. The part about Lily's being a whole person separate from James really resonated with me. I guess the reason I would like to see something from Lily's POV is that it's her move, so to speak, and I want to see what she does with it; I want her to give James some hope.
Anyway, I loved reading this story and I can't wait to read more of your work.
You've got some good ideas here--but I am surprised at how casually both Hestia and James treat their relationship.
Well, those are some of the questions I set out to try and answer!Follow Lily and James (or Evans and Potter as they like to call each other) through their seven years at Hogwarts; one chapter per year, and maybe we'll find the answers to some of these questions.
I'm really interested to see where you take this; you seem to have a really good understanding of the characters' personalities and how they interact with each other.
Author's Response: Yay! You noticed the title! I racked my brains for ages thinking of one, and then it came to me! Then I had to check that there really WAS a war called the Seven Years' War, and I hadn't just made it up! Gosh, you guys have all given me such wonderful feedback that I really hope the rest of the story is up to scratch! Ah well, there's only one way for me to find out really...! Thanks for the wonderful review, Nymphea!
This story was delightful! It was just what I wanted to read right now.
"My good opinion lost once is lost forever." So I guess James didn't read P&P once Lily said she liked that book, or he would have realized that Lily was having a Mr. Darcy moment...
I like how James is cocky but not overly so. Also, I noticed that your "Someone to watch..." James also likes giving nicknames. Hmmm....
A few criticisms.
First, I was a little confused about why Lily suddenly got mad at James. It seemed a little unprecipitated.
Also--and maybe this is just me--I wish you had foregone the "ten things" part. I love reading what you think up yourself. That part was a little weaker and seemed kind of out of place, like you knew you wanted to put it in your story but had to find where.
But the format was great. There was a nice cadence to this--the pacing was really good within each section; it was kind of lilting. That's not a very clear way to describe it, but I hope you get what I mean.
Also, you were humorous in just the right places.
All in all, very nice! I really enjoyed reading this. It was just what I needed.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked the pacing. And yes, I do have James doling out nicknames in more than one story . . . I just really think that James is the sort of person who would give Lily affectionate nicknames! Plus, I myself love them ;) Criticisms are always appreciated. When she gets mad at him it is rather sudden, and I was a little worried it would confuse people, but I really wanted the explanation to come after the fact. Thanks again for the wonderful review!
I love the way you wove the greek myth into this story. This fic was so well-written--especially the dream. The repetition of "or was it James"? was really good.
I like that you show James as having actually changed in that he'll help Snape...but having not changed in the good aspects of his personality.
The artemis parallel ties the story together beautifully. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and the compliments to my writing! I'm so glad the myth ended up fitting so well, and that you enjoyed it.
Why do we love JKR so much? Because, in the setting of her magical, fascinating world, she tells a story, And though bookstores may call her work "fantasy", at the heart of it they are really mystery stories.
I don't know if you ever watch The Office--and here I mean the US version, having never seen the UK one. Part of what makes the romance on that show so good is that it's not all we see. In fact, in an episode there may be nothing more than a meaningful glance between the couple...yet somehow that's powerful enough to sustain the viewer's hungering for romance.
Both examples are representative of your work in this story. It's a real story, not just fluff, and we see the development of James and Lily's relationship without its being the exclusive focus--and that's enough.
A few nit-picks: in the books, Prof. McGonagall refers to female students as "Miss", not "Ms."
Also, in his announcement of Jill's death, at first Dumbledore only refers to her as "a Gryffindor student". Wouldn't her name be more important than her house?
Anyway, very well done; I'm really enjoying this fic.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! That made me smile to read :) I do watch the US version of The Office and I absolutely adore Jim and Pam! I'm glad you like how the story is progressing so far, As for this nit-picks -- I'll have to fix the bit about McGonagall. Thanks for pointing it out; I always appreciate it when reviewers take the time to do such. You make a good point concerning Dumbledore's speech, but I had thought while writing that he wouldn't want to release her name for gossip fodder. Maybe I'll change it, though. . . . Thanks again!
I would like to see more driving this story forward. I think a meditative short story can work, but it needs to be rooted in the present; I needed more of a sense of the motivation behind this story. It seemed to be mostly nostalgic musing, and I didn't get a chance to see what being "deeply in love" means for them.
I wholeheartedly encourage you to keep writing! I can't wait to read more of your work.