nymphéa: French for water lily, because Lily is one of my favorite characters :)
and pronounced NAM-fay-AH
In fifth year, Sirius along with James and Peter managed the difficult Animagus transformation. In fifth year, Sirius played the ‘werewolf prank’ on Snape. One was an act of loyalty, brotherhood, and friendship; the other an act of betrayal, vengeance, and recklessness. This story spanning the Marauders' fifth year will deal with both these incidents, as well as Sirius’s increasing rejection of everything having to do with ‘The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black”.
"Fifteen-year-old Sirius had enough experience dealing with attractive girls that he was able to look Leila straight in the eyes without betraying any hint of desire on his side." That's my favorite line.
This is so well-written...and since you don't mind rambling, I guess I will.
I love Orion (as a character, not a person). He's more sensible than I would expect a sensible person to be. And Walburga--what an...original name. It sounds just like her. Sirius' rebellion is just like him.
I would ramble more, but I have things to do...so I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: I\'m glad you like that line! hehe! Nope I don\'t mind rambling at all :) I didn\'t pick the name Walburga - when J.K. Rowling wrote out the Black family tree for some auction, we learned the names of Sirius\'s relatives. Thanks for leaving a review!
Check your tenses in the first paragraph and the paragraph about spring break; they should be past to match the rest of the story.
I do think it's possible for Lily to notice that James is extremely good-looking and still think he's annoying...she would, I think, be confident enough in her own ability not to like people just based on their looks to acknowledge that James is handsome.
“It’ll be sooner than that,” and with that he ran off with Black.
Ooh, suspense! I like it! Update quickly!
Author's Response: I\'ve already submitted the second chapter, and I\'m just waiting for it to be validated. The next chapter has some humor in it, just a little though.
This is like a portrait of a moment--I can see, hear, and smell every little thing. It was really fun to read. I'm a little confused on the timing, though--is it end of 6th year?
"Even if he married someone else; he doubted he could ever again love someone else like he loved her." This struck me as a little odd--if he loves her, why would he consider the possibility of marrying someone else? I think it would be more realistic if you said, "even if he didn't marry her". But again, a beautiful word-painting of Lily and James!
Author's Response: I\'m glad you liked it. I guess it could be the end of 6th year. It\'s just when they are friends but not yet together... And now that I read that line again, I guess it is kind of odd. I\'ll try to change it. Thanks.
This is a really interesting take on James and Lily's relationship. It's very true to their characters. You did a great job showing what a big deal it is for her to give up her friendship with Severus. It was an interesting choice to have Snape wait so long to talk to her again, but it worked in the story.
Great job; I love your work!
Author's Response: Thank you! I was hoping to capture the story in a different way.
This is really good! But "Harry was looking avidly at his mother, wrapped in a teal scarf and a flaxen mink coat" makes it sound like Harry's in the coat; it should be, "Harry was looking avidly at his mother, who was wrapped in a teal scarf and a flaxen mink coat". Thanks for writing this!
Author's Response: And thank you for reading and reviewing and even nitpicking, hon! ^_^
heh-thanks for updating! I had forgotten how fun this story was to read. I like the subplot with Lindy.
Author's Response: Thank you!
ha ha! Those last paragraphs were great! I love Lily's spunk/whatever. Update quickly!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
I like this story--it's lighthearted and funny. I'm interested to see where you go with Lily's character.
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m glad you liked it! ~megan~
What year is Lily?
You have a very distinctive narrative voice that adds character to the story. It seems a little AU, though--I feel like Lily wouldn't hate her sister, just be sad that Petunia dislikes her so much. I'm interested to see how your Cinderella idea plays out.
Author's Response: She\'s in seventh year. It isn\'t AU, we honestly don\'t know that much about lily, just a bunch of stuff taht we\'ve assumed. everyone seems to be under the impression taht she\'s some perfetc, beautiful, goody-two-shoes. well, i personally ahve never seen anything in the books that says that. There really isn;t that much we know about her except she was pretty, smart and funny. My lily has all those attributes, but she has a few quirks too, she isn\'t perfect! I know what you\'re saying about petunia, she probably was like that, but i\'m not writing a sad story about her relationship with her sister, this was designed as a humor fic, so i\'m not going to be delving too deep into the relationshsip thing! Thanks for reviewing!!!! :)
he was usually overconfident and affluent.
Affluent means rich. Maybe you meant affable? amiable? something else?
I really like how you've portrayed James and Lily's relationship. In OOTP, Lupin (or maybe Sirius) says, "No, she didn't [hate James]. Not really." I think you've captured that; unlike a lot of fics, this one doesn't have them hating each other. Update quickly; this was fun to read!
Author's Response: Oh, gosh. I\'m blushing so hard for making that mistake. I meant to write fluent, but I guess I was thinking at that time how similar affluent and fluent sounded, and absent-mindedly typed affluent there instead. Thanks for pointing that out! I\'m glad you liked their relationship! And I\'ll try to update quickly. I hope you\'ll continue reading this fanfiction. Thanks for your review! :D
aww! I love the unsent letter!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad it's lovable, I was wondering if it was a little too mushy. (:
This is a fascinating story, very original and well-written. I was a little confused about Lily's love for James. Ans I was reading, sometimes it was hard to tell if it was Lily letting the reader find out more about how she felt about James, or if it was her love evolving. Before you say each statement about her feelings (e.g. James was her best friend, she loved him, etc.), I see that it's true--but I don't really see her letting go of her earlier opinions. I'm left wondering a little bit how she let go of her former attitudes.
All in all, though, very original and lovely to read.
Author's Response: Thank you! She didn\'t hate James when she married him -- she just didn\'t love him. But as he took care of her and was there for her, love grew.
ooh-scintillating ending! I can't wait to see where you take this.
I love that these are from teachers' points of view. I also like that they are matchmakers; that's a really funny idea I hadn't thought of. One of my favorite moments was when the portraits were discussing James and Lily. Update soon!
nice job! my only thought is that Lily's change of heart seems very sudden. I like your writing style, esp. in the beginning when Lily won't let herself think about her mother's death so the reader doesn't know about it. (It reminded me vaguely of Faulkner...)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I\'m glad you mentioned that. I\'ll go back and take a look at it again.
this looks promising--nice job and update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm still going back over the second chapter.
I love the way you describe Ted. Actually, I love how you describe everything--it's so real and therefore powerful.
Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you like my Ted. I love him. Thanks so much! ~ Cassie
I'm interested to see where you take this...update quickly!
Author's Response: I'm about halfway through the first chapter and have planned out some funny scenes. I will update as soon as possible!
Is this really complete? What's the secret? I feel like I'm missing something here...anyway, nice story!
Author's Response: I'm thinking about writing a sequel. So hang on and you will find it out. :) ~Alyssa
oh, this was beautiful! especially the last line.
Suddenly, involuntarily, I can feel tears forming, and I wish the damn rain would hurry up and fall so I could pretend I’m not crying for him. Or maybe I’m not crying for him at all. Maybe I’m crying for myself, for what I’ve lost since I was that little girl.
What a perfect description! and it's so true, so real.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)