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Forbidden love by catrin15
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 54]

Summary: Snape and Hermione are working on something for the Order, and Snape is being an evil git as per usual. However, his harsh demeanour masks his deeper feelings about Hermione.

Categories: Hermione/Snape Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5319 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
12/17/04 Updated: 11/29/05


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 10/09/07 Title: Chapter 4: A tryst and a Suspicion

I really thought your "Legalitus Potion" was clever!
"If it is mixed with moonstone it causes someone to feel deeply disloyal to his or her employer."
I also liked the part where you have to add the phoenix feathers to strengthen Pettigrew's loyalty to Dumbledore, and the fact that Hermione is so smitten with Snape that he has to remind her of this ingredient was also good.

The next day, when she comes back and denies her feelings for him, and he reminds her of his skills in Leglimens was fun. And it was touching that he returned her feelings.

I also enjoyed the part where Voldemort tells Snape to bring him Potter by faking an accident in potions, because Potter's
ineptitude has reached even the Dark Lord.

I also thought the last chapter so far was fun when they are having their usual, hostile relationship, but heigthened by their growing feelings for each other. When she is the only one who could figure out the actual name "Brinythistle" would be labelled under, and was thus the only one to do her homework was clever, as was the medi-wizardry use to counteract petrifying. The only thing I didn't like about that chapter was the Snape and Hermione name calling went a little over the top.

 

Map Making by black_ink
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: MWPP. Two-shot (only two parts). Its night and there’s nothing to do. So Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs decide to put their knowledge of the rooms, tunnels, and corridors of Hogwarts together and make a map; The Marauder’s Map. But what spells did they use? How did they come up with such an idea? Join them in Gryffindor Tower…


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2461 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/10/06 Updated: 01/22/06


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 10/02/07 Title: Chapter 2: Part Two: The Marauders Map

I thought your story was very clever. I was very interested in reading how the Maurauder's Map was born.

Your characters stayed true to the canon, and I particularly like that Sirius jumped in and helped, even though he clearly was ready to sit and be bored.
I also liked the part of where he stole from Filtch, just to see what would happen (he got caught and detention, of course, but it must have been fun for a while!)
All in all very entertaining, and what a great story idea!


Author's Response: Thank you very much!! I\'m pleased you liked it so much, and its reviews like yours that really help and make my day so much better!! Thanks again! ~Sara

 

A Furry Little Problem by Vindictus Viridian
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 31]

Summary: The young and bored Sirius Black amuses himself with the top hat in his closet, inspired by the nefarious influence of Muggle television. **Warning -- natural rabbit behaviour within**

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1518 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/25/06 Updated: 04/25/06


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 09/12/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This story is very clever! It has so many great elements. My personal favorite element being that is is absolutely devoid of even one iota of intent!
" 'Lepus crepusculum! he sang out, Joyful with the pleasure of doing something completely, utterly, pointlessly silly..."
Brilliantly, completely, devoid of intent, Sirius sets in motion a heeping disaster!

I love the fact that the boredom that has overcome his brain left no room for him to think about what would happen if an actual rabbit popped out of the hat. I also liked when he paused, in mid deluge, to momentarily ponder keeping a particularly fetching one. The rabbits acting like rabbits was funny, as when he tried to make it better, unfortunately turning one rabbit into two and panicking the rest was great.

I particularly liked the ending. It's always nice to have Bellatrix around to restore order! All in all a great story!

 

Fair Exchanges by fawkes_07
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 652]

Summary: Hermione wants to learn Occlumency, but Snape isn't known for doing favors out of sheer kindness. Both may learn something unexpected before it's all over...


This is a Book Five canon fic, hopefully fun and poignant. Enjoy.

Categories: Hermione/Snape Genre: Warnings: Dubious Consent, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 42060 Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/14/06 Updated: 12/11/06


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 11/19/07 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: That Which Does Not Kill Me

Your story is one of my favorites. I like the way Snape and Hermione are attracted to each other, and made to seem so attractive, even if to the outside world (as you make so pinfully obvious in other portions) they may not be.
""Legilimens." He plunged into her consciousness without his usual delicacy, quickly pilfering through deep memories, searching for specific content." I like how this sets the reader up for what will happen later in the chapter, showing Snape as a man in a mission.

"Snape could see it in her eyes; mere defiance was replaced by desperate horror, the indignant rage by a primal instinct for self-preservation. He sneered, pulling her head back by her long, thick hair as he reached into the front of his robes with his other hand. He was ready; he took hold of the waistband of her woolen tights and yanked downward--

--a sensation of falling through darkness--"

This was especially evocative of feeling the Occlumens finally being able to stop the Legilimens.

" "I don't deny it, young lady," he said softly. "But my hands are clean, and I stayed out of your dreams." " I liked this part alot, too, especially since he thought (hoped?) he'd find himself in her dreams.


I liked how Snape is fighting himself trying to push Hermione away, even though she represents something he so desperately wants. The choice of the bed time story was brilliant, and the banter, with Hermione seeing through his gruff "professorial demeanor" is sweet. I likwe the way they both stay in character while they drift closer, and how they both relly respect and relate to each other.


 
Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 11/19/07 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: That Which Does Not Kill Me

Your story is one of my favorites. I like the way Snape and Hermione are attracted to each other, and made to seem so attractive, even if to the outside world (as you make so pinfully obvious in other portions) they may not be.
""Legilimens." He plunged into her consciousness without his usual delicacy, quickly pilfering through deep memories, searching for specific content." I like how this sets the reader up for what will happen later in the chapter, showing Snape as a man in a mission.

"Snape could see it in her eyes; mere defiance was replaced by desperate horror, the indignant rage by a primal instinct for self-preservation. He sneered, pulling her head back by her long, thick hair as he reached into the front of his robes with his other hand. He was ready; he took hold of the waistband of her woolen tights and yanked downward--

--a sensation of falling through darkness--"

This was especially evocative of feeling the Occlumens finally being able to stop the Legilimens.

" "I don't deny it, young lady," he said softly. "But my hands are clean, and I stayed out of your dreams." " I liked this part alot, too, especially since he thought (hoped?) he'd find himself in her dreams.


I liked how Snape is fighting himself trying to push Hermione away, even though she represents something he so desperately wants. The choice of the bed time story was brilliant, and the banter, with Hermione seeing through his gruff "professorial demeanor" is sweet. I likwe the way they both stay in character while they drift closer, and how they both relly respect and relate to each other.


 
Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 11/19/07 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: That Which Does Not Kill Me

Your story is one of my favorites. I like the way Snape and Hermione are attracted to each other, and made to seem so attractive, even if to the outside world (as you make so pinfully obvious in other portions) they may not be.
""Legilimens." He plunged into her consciousness without his usual delicacy, quickly pilfering through deep memories, searching for specific content." I like how this sets the reader up for what will happen later in the chapter, showing Snape as a man in a mission.

"Snape could see it in her eyes; mere defiance was replaced by desperate horror, the indignant rage by a primal instinct for self-preservation. He sneered, pulling her head back by her long, thick hair as he reached into the front of his robes with his other hand. He was ready; he took hold of the waistband of her woolen tights and yanked downward--

--a sensation of falling through darkness--"

This was especially evocative of feeling the Occlumens finally being able to stop the Legilimens.

" "I don't deny it, young lady," he said softly. "But my hands are clean, and I stayed out of your dreams." " I liked this part alot, too, especially since he thought (hoped?) he'd find himself in her dreams.


I liked how Snape is fighting himself trying to push Hermione away, even though she represents something he so desperately wants. The choice of the bed time story was brilliant, and the banter, with Hermione seeing through his gruff "professorial demeanor" is sweet. I likwe the way they both stay in character while they drift closer, and how they both relly respect and relate to each other.




Author's Response: :) Thanks! It\'s always nice to get a review from someone who\'s really into the story. Glad you like it!

 

Private Lessons by fawkes_07
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 46]

Summary: A bleak and angsty post-HBP fic about damaged souls and suchlike.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 27934 Chapters: 16 Completed: No
Published:
11/27/06 Updated: 04/23/08


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 06/16/08 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15: Lessons

I am really enjoying your story and all the different elements you are blending into it. I like the musical component, and the potions component, and the setting the time so far into the future is very unusual for fan fiction.

I also like the way you have the curse's effects being not just mental and physical, but also affecting Pendragon on a very magical plane i.e. the way she sometimes dissapears in the dark and how her name and other aspects of her personality have been forever altered, not just within her, but also to the world at large. It was very different for her to have be given a new name that can be remembered since the curse had erased that aspect of her from the face of the Earth.

I thought the way you gradually let the reader in on how her personality has been shattered by the spell is moving. I was also pleasantly surprised that she and Harry were never really an item.

Snape's depiction seems spot on, and having Harry as Head of Slytherin House is downright subversive!

Finally, I liked you description of the tea brewing, which seems very traditional and British for two people to sit down to drink some fancy tea while discussing such a brutal subject.

"You incredible idiot! How in seven hells can you be immersed in the culture of Slytherin House, yet remain ignorant of such a simple process as taking the piss out of someone?"

This portion was also very fine because you take a very British idea of putting someone on, and have Harry breakdown for Snape why his idea of it has gone way overboard!

I am looking forward to seeing how this turns out!

Author's Response: Thanks for the thoughtful review! I had a lot of fun coming up with this story and I hope to finish it soon, once I get Heirs printed.

 

Summary: Lucius Malfoy is most infamous for being excessively proud of his ancestry and for his disdain for Muggle-borns. But what if he received a letter that changed everything? Takes place during OotP, and it's AU.

Contains snippets of humour.

For the "Dreams" challenge in the fanfiction beta boards... I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 3623 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/23/07 Updated: 02/16/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 04/07/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Owls Become Lucius's Hair Accessories

Your story is very well done. It is humorous and thoughtful all at the same time. The Family having come from France (along with a priceless artifact) was fun. Lucius matter-of fact way of explaining his skewered world view was also a nice touch. I liked the part where he recounts Draco's antics:

He was opening up, relating funny anecdotes about the latest pathetic mishaps that Draco had incurred upon himself
Even to his Muggle-born mother he showed proper disdane for his only off spring.

His growing consciousness of what he has done to his own kind is also good, as is his ability to go back to his old ways when he thinks it was all a dream.

His sudden realization that, not only wasn't it a dream, but that it puts his family in grave danger is handled with a soft touch and leaves the ending satisfying.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I almost forgot about this story. I almost have to wonder what Lucius thinks of Draco, because really I find it hard to imagine how anyone could be proud of him or, um, like him. (Oh, I am not a very big Draco fan... maybe I\'ll try and write a Draco fic sometime, because for some reason I have waaaay more respect for Lucius than Draco.)

\r\nI\'m just kind of curious how you found this story, because I wrote it kind of a long time ago.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I almost forgot about this story. I almost have to wonder what Lucius thinks of Draco, because really I find it hard to imagine how anyone could be proud of him or, um, like him. (Oh, I am not a very big Draco fan... maybe I\'ll try and write a Draco fic sometime, because for some reason I have waaaay more respect for Lucius than Draco.)

\r\nI\'m just kind of curious how you found this story, because I wrote it kind of a long time ago.

 

A Marauders’ Little Christmas by trinsy
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: “These wonderful things are the things we’ll remember all through our lives!”

Sitting in his cell in Azkaban, Sirius reflects on one memorable Christmas with the Marauders. A one-shot companion to Canis Majoris. (It can be read independently.)

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2983 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/29/07 Updated: 02/03/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 12/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

I enjoyed your story very much. I liked haw Peter was allowed to be one of the gang, fot the most part, except maybe in the begininng when he asks Jocelyn:
" “Shall I help him, then?” he questioned disinterestedly, as though he were merely commenting on the weather.

“He’ll make sure you regret it if you don’t,” she replied."

I also liked the Maurader Map explanation, and how James just assumed it was another copy of Hogwarts: A History. It's funny how all the studious students think that's a necessity, and none of the others do!
I thought the end was poignent when you wrote "An earsplitting, heart-tearing howl rips through the hollow silence of Azkaban. Every prisoner shivers in their cell as their despair is vocalized."
That sadi it all very concisely!

 
Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 12/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

I enjoyed your story very much. I liked haw Peter was allowed to be one of the gang, fot the most part, except maybe in the begininng when he asks Jocelyn:
" “Shall I help him, then?” he questioned disinterestedly, as though he were merely commenting on the weather.

“He’ll make sure you regret it if you don’t,” she replied."

I also liked the Maurader Map explanation, and how James just assumed it was another copy of Hogwarts: A History. It's funny how all the studious students think that's a necessity, and none of the others do!
I thought the end was poignent when you wrote "An earsplitting, heart-tearing howl rips through the hollow silence of Azkaban. Every prisoner shivers in their cell as their despair is vocalized."
That sadi it all very concisely!

 

One White Pawn by Ravensgryff
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 34]

Summary: Past Featured StoryRon Weasley has started having some very odd dreams. What do they mean? More importantly, can they help the trio to finally defeat Lord Voldemort? A Ron-centric fic written for HP Quills for a Cause.





Dedicated to my husband who always helps me see the big picture.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 9593 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/19/07 Updated: 03/11/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 09/04/07 Title: Chapter 2: End Game

I really liked your story. I thought it was clever to use "Through the Looking Glass" and the chess references as Ron’s dream settings. It made sense that those might have been the only connections that Ron and Percy had in common, and I liked that was how Percy chose to reach out to Ron from the grave.
.
I also liked the animosity that the Weasley twins felt at first toward the Trio when they stopped by the joke shop. They must have felt like the Trio had abandoned everyone when they needed them the most. The folks at home were falling apart and they were nowhere to be found.

The sequence in St. Mungo’s between Percy and Ron was very moving. It was too bad that Ron couldn’t bring himself to forgive Percy. But it all turned out in the end.

My favorite part was when the Trio did battle with Peter Pettigrew. I was honestly surprised when Ron used an Unforgivable Curse on Peter. I never thought Ron was capable of that, but I thought it was believable.

The only thing I didn’t like is because of my own personal bias. I always feel bad for Ginny Weasley being delegated to the sidelines, but that is canon!

I also thought the title was perfect for the story.

 
Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 09/04/07 Title: Chapter 2: End Game

I really liked your story. I thought it was clever to use "Through the Looking Glass" and the chess references as Ron’s dream settings. It made sense that those might have been the only connections that Ron and Percy had in common, and I liked that was how Percy chose to reach out to Ron from the grave.
.
I also liked the animosity that the Weasley twins felt at first toward the Trio when they stopped by the joke shop. They must have felt like the Trio had abandoned everyone when they needed them the most. The folks at home were falling apart and they were nowhere to be found.

The sequence in St. Mungo’s between Percy and Ron was very moving. It was too bad that Ron couldn’t bring himself to forgive Percy. But it all turned out in the end.

My favorite part was when the Trio did battle with Peter Pettigrew. I was honestly surprised when Ron used an Unforgivable Curse on Peter. I never thought Ron was capable of that, but I thought it was believable.

The only thing I didn’t like is because of my own personal bias. I always feel bad for Ginny Weasley being delegated to the sidelines, but that is canon!

I also thought the title was perfect for the story.

 

Summary: We all believe that Peter Pettigrew was the weakest and least courageous of all the Marauders. But what if he did have a backbone? What if his reasons for betraying James Potter were not due to fear or bad influence, but rather the result of obsession and great resentment?



Entry into the April One-Shot Challeng, which I happened to win

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders

Word count: 3495 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/24/07 Updated: 04/24/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 09/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

I felt your story was very well done. It evoked the feelings of the downtrodden Peter and explained why he felt the need to revenge himself against the "great" James Potter. It was heartless of Potter to tell him that their great "friendship" was based on a joke.

I think you did a great job, too, of using canon, but turning into your own device.
All in all, I enjoyed it very much.

 

Sweat and Blood by FullofLife
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: An insight into the life of a Hogwarts artist, and the hardwork she puts into each and every one of her paintings and portraits.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Violence

Word count: 2114 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/01/07 Updated: 05/05/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 09/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Sweat and Blood

You story was Great! It was interesting that the secret ingredient to the "living" paintings is blood. I also liked the part where Dumbledore acknowledges what she has "done" to him (his portrait, anyway) with the addition of a drop of blood to the magic.

The Part with Harry was exciting. I liked how she felt him worthy of being painted. I also liked how she kept the newspaper article and waited for the proper time to "paint" him.

The end was properly icky with her swooning over the intermingled blood of the Dark Lord and Harry. The painting being done entirely in Harry's blood was also very cool. I was hoping she was a vampire, but wasn't sure until the end! Again, I really enjoyed your story! Great Job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

 

FourFold by Furry Little Problem
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 18]

Summary: Ever wondered what happened when Sirius Black ran away from home?

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Dubious Consent, Violence

Word count: 10231 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
05/06/07 Updated: 04/01/08


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 10/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Padfoot and Prongs

I felt your characters were very well done and felt like canon. I particularly liked the part where Sirius gets the letter from the ministry about apparating. I thought is was funny that he didn't mention to James that he ended up in the middle of a muggle street, before he was able to find Jame's house, until he had too!

The only problem with apparating into someone's home is that it would be sort of rude, and I can't imagine a wizard household not having anti-apparation shields in place.

I also thought you captured Remus' sensitive nature, when he didn't reply to Sirius' letters and Sirius' embarassment about his family's rigid world views, when he realized why Remus hadn't sent him any replies.

Author's Response: Thankyou!!! thanks for you specific comments - really helps me improve on other fics too, knowing what i can do well, and also it makes me grin for the rest of the day! :D lol. And yes, my theory with the apparating is that Sirius has needed to come to their place so often Jame\'s parents made a loop-hole for him - though I cut out the part that explained that...maybe i shouldn\'t have! lol. If i write more, I\'ll explain it. Thanks again for you lovely review! :) :)

 

Paracelsus by Hokey
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Theophrastus Philippus Aureolus Bombastus von Hohenheim (1493), also known as Paracelsus, is famous worldwide as the first known maker of the Philosopher’s Stone. Besides being an apt alchemist, he made much advancement in surgery and medicine during his lifetime. He died in Salzburg, 1541 after a short time of illness. However, his greatest invention, the first Philosopher’s Stone, was not discovered until several years later.





Spring Challenge Entry


Wizard Cards prompt


by Hokey of Slytherin



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1806 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/20/07 Updated: 05/25/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 10/25/07 Title: Chapter 1: Theophrastus Philippus Aureolus Bombastus von Hohenheim

Your story about Paracelsus was interesting. It was interesting the way you had him look back at his life while he lay dying. It was ironic how his life long striving for intellectual stimulation via alchemy would ultimately take his life. He thought he could use Mercury without any ill effects, but he was wrong.

I thought it was clever that you had him actually make the Philosopher's Stone, but too late to save his life. It was also ironic that his self-involved striving to achieve his goal meant that it would ultimately never be put to use for the good of mankind because no one would know of his invention.

I also thought the way you had him notice the wind and the sun, two of elements he would have been able to control in a few days, if only the mercury he had needed to make the stone would not kill him before it had matured.

" But that would still be far too late to save Paracelsus life. He had lived long, and hard. If meant to be, Nature would see to that his creation was discovered. With a wry smile, and a relaxed, content expression on his face, Paracelsus let out his last breath."

I thought the end was compelling, as he realised with his dying breath that he had to put his trust in nature, which he had always done before.


Author's Response: Why thank you! I'm really pleased you think so. There was a lot of research and though behind this one.

 

A Woman Scorned by Hypatia
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: She offered him her love and he rejected her. She had been willing to offer him anything but he destroyed all that she held dear. However, a daughter of the house of Black does not sit idly by, wallowing in self-pity. No, she bides her time and strikes when he is weakest.

Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Best History/Mystery Story!

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death, Suicide

Word count: 7797 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/11/07 Updated: 08/17/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 10/14/07 Title: Chapter 3: The Final Act

I really enjoyed your story. It was very well written and gripping from beginning to end. The subtle way you had your character's acting one way, when they were thinking another way was well done.

"A strange look flashed in Tom’s eyes but was gone before she was able to decipher it. The next moment his flirtatious demeanor had returned. “Lord Riddle, will do. As you can see, it is quite fitting that this lord attend said ball with a fair lady, such as yourself.”"

This was excellent in the way it set up both Tom Riddle's over riding sense of self importance, and foreshadowed his eventual betrayal of "Regina", since he had such limited motivation to care about her.

I liked that "I am Lord Voldemort" was her idea. When she was looking back on that time of her life and it came to her that her locket must be a Horcrux, as she had helped him study how to make them, was eye-opening.

I also liked when she decided to give Regulus the credit for taking the Horcrux so that he would not be forgotten.

My favorite part, though was when Narcissa was planning the funeral and you wrote, "Narcissa briefly imagined their faces if she allowed Draco to organize it and smiled to herself. A dragon themed funeral with cake, balloons, party hats and a round of Quidditch would probably cause such distress amongst the older generation that Narcissa would be stuck planning several more funerals. " It was very funny that the younger generation of Blacks would have more than likely found this way of "honoring" the passing generation infinitely entertaining!

Again, it was a highly enjoyable story to read, and best of luck with the Quicksilver Quills Award!

Author's Response: Wow! I think this must be one of the nicest reviews I\'ve ever received. Thank you very much! :)

 

Amortentia by Amara Anon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Severus Snape resorts to desperate measures to win Lily back after the "Mudblood" incident.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2818 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/14/07 Updated: 08/22/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 10/17/07 Title: Chapter 1: Amortentia

I thought your story was lovely. The writing was exceptionally engrossing, and spare, since you were able to tell a complete story in such a short space.

"Pervading the air of the shed was a variety of scents rising from the cauldron. There was the musty waft of old books... and the slight but unmistakably bittersweet scent of spilled blood... but one scent overpowered the others by far... a dainty, lilac scent... Severus inhaled intently, and finding everything to his satisfaction..."
This part was particularly good, as it invoked things Snape held dear, but the dearest thing was the scent of Lily.

I also liked how he was practically physically sick when took the love potion to the house elf to deliver to Lily's drink. I also found the part when his Slytherin friend, Avery was blabbering on about the rape charge, and Snape obviously realized what he was doing to be a great transition. I also liked that the Slytherins took for granted that he was just pranking a "mudblood", so that he was able to save face.

"A more timid man would have accepted defeat then and there, but such was not the character of Severus Snape. As long as Lily Evans lived, there would in his heart remain a shred of faith, and the hope that one day she would be his."
This was the perfect end, as it kept Snape in character, as well as explaining
how he remained certain of regaining Lily until the day she died.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for such a detailed review. I always love hearing which parts work best for a reader. It is extremely helpful. Thanks again!

 

Where Lilies Grow by Pondering
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: After her sister Petunia goes to Hogwarts, Lily waits for her own letter, a letter that never comes.




By Pondering of Ravenclaw.



Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 1656 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/26/07 Updated: 10/29/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 11/20/07 Title: Chapter 1: Where Lilies Grow

Your story was very well done. I liked the fact that even though Lily and Petunia changed spots regarding Hogwarts, Lily was still Smarter, and Petunia was still nosy.

"She sent me a letter that night, telling me that school was simply grand. I threw the letter out the window, watched it flutter, watched it land. I didn’t need to hear that. It might make me sound like a horrible sister, but I wished that she was having a horrid time, so she could be as miserable as I was." I liked this part because it showed Lily being human, and jealous in her misery, which we traits we rarely see of Lily in fan fiction. It also made Petunia seem a bit rotten, since I can't see Liliy sending a letter to her sister rubbing in her misery.

"“I always knew your favourite magic trick was the time I made those lilies bloom, so I thought that maybe…you know.” She shrugged, her cheeks a pale pink.

I looked at the lilies. They were beautiful, the most perfect flowers I had ever seen." It was sweet that Petunia remembered this part of their childhood and shared a bit of her magic with Lily.

"She was right. In the end she was murdered by an evil wizard whose name I never knew. It made sense; in a fairy-tale world where things could happen with the flick of a wand, there had to be evil to counterbalance the greatness of magic. But I have since remembered an important lesson, one I wish I hadn’t forgotten a long time ago: that real magic isn’t the swish of a wand, or muttered Latin spells."

The end counterbalances the loss Lily felt at the beginning of being denied a place in the magical world. Her having to grow up and accept the real world, and then losing Petunia so young because she had been accepted into that world was poignant.



 

Charity and Red Wine by Wings of the Morning
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Narcissa knows exactly what death tastes like. [Narcissa kills five people. One shot. Dark.]

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Suicide

Word count: 1453 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/03/07 Updated: 11/04/07


Reviewer: leahsm2 Signed
Date: 12/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Your story was very well written and extremely entertaining. I liked the way you broke into the different sensory perceptions that Narcissa experienced as she kept vigil over the dying, and finally dispatched them when their time was up.

I also thought the way you covered different aspects of the series from the perspective of Narcissa and her thoughts as she was forced to keep vigil on each relative in turn was clever.

I also liked the way each of the dying seemed to reach out to someone from their past they had harmed, or should be close to, but wasn't and Narcissa not buying into it for a second.

 
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