Eeeee! Even though I've already read it, I squeeked when he realised that it was Lily and James. I love them. :) Yes, well, I'd tell you to update soon, but then that would all depend on me, wouldn't it?
i've got the next three chapters and I'm working on them as I... type. Talk to you soon!
Oh, wow, this just tore my heart to pieces. Well done. Supremely well done.
This is amazing. I think you've portrayed Luna just right.The characterization(sp?) is wonderful.
I like the sprinkles!!! They're cute. I hope I'm a sprinkle!! ;)
Author's Response: Well, to be a sprinkle you have to be dead. I\'m thinking you\'re not dead (unless you\'re the living dead) and so you can\'t be a sprinkle...yet. In any case, I\'m sure Wesley and Illka will be glad they have a fan.
I really, really liked this! I have never read a story from Luna's view before, and I am hooked! I think I'm going to start writing one.
I think you captured Luna's personality quite well, and the image of Luna 'tucking away the memory' is very vivid, because she is most certainly the type of person to do that.
There is one thing I noticed, though, that in the first paragraph talking about Professor Binns, when she talks about her O.W.L, The two sentences seem to run together. That could just be me, but I probally would have put 'tests' or 'exams' to end the sentence, just to avoid that problem.
And also, in the first sentence, the words 'sizzling bacon' tells me that the bacon is being cooked in the Great Hall- but it's not. That's just my impression, though. Overall, it was wonderfull! Keep up the GREAT work!
*Squee* I loved it! It's wondifferous! I would most definately like to see more!
It's cute! i like it. I only have one thing: I highly doubt that Sirius and the boys were open about their group name- the Marauderers, so when he announced them as such in the second or third paragraph, I think that was a bit OOC. But other than that, I'ts great!
Author's Response: I always kind of assumed that it was something they would kind of brag about. Kind of rub it in peoples faces that they had a cool group.
I\'m glad you like the story!
Well, first off, I'd like to say that this was simply lovely. It was sweet and endearing, and made my heart reach out for both of them.
"After a few minutes, Neville heard her give a little choking sound. He did the only thing he could think of and pulled her into his arms to let her cry on his shoulder. She was a wonderful girl, and he would be there for her, though he would never ask her out. He held her for a long time."
This bit was very sweet- although I think that Neville would have felt a bit awkward, and would have struggled while deciding what to do.
"making one of those mysterious twists with her hands"
This part made me smile- I love how you show Neville as a true boy- befuddled by the magic of wemon. :)
And the last line, the bit about the unreachable stars? It's wonderfull. It's showing, once again, the true Neville, who, even after spending that glorious time with Ginny, is still feeling scared and lost in his world.
"It was only a desire, though; he was sure that she would never forgive him for spying on her. "
Neville says that there, though a paragraph later he walks in and she neither accuses him of spying nor gets mad or flustered in any way. So while I think that line was a bit contradictory to the rest of it, I'm not sure that's alot to worry about
You've written this beautifully- it made me cry! Great work, really. This is most definatly a missing scene from one of the books- one I believe shouldn't be missing.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! You pointed out several of the things that I like the most about this piece. I had to walk a pretty fine line between Neville being awkward and being there for Ginny. When she starts to cry, I picture him both wanting to hold her and being totally lost for other ideas -- so he does hold her. I do like that bit about Ginny putting her hair up. I don\'t think Neville\'s the type to have a clue about how girl details (like hair) work. The part about Neville being sure Ginny will be angry is confusing, but that\'s because he\'s expecting one thing and something else happens. I should probably clarify that, though. I don\'t know if I think that Neville is scared or lost after being with Ginny; I think it\'s more that he just knows he won\'t ever have her. It\'s definitely about being alone, though. Thank you so much for your comments! I am very glad that you liked it so much.
He’s an egotistical jerk,
Or at least, that’s how I see it.
Oh, God! What am I saying?
I love that bit! I love it when people portray Lily in denial. :D Very good job. There were several spots where the rythm got off a bit, like:
I’m falling head over heels for her,
But there is one problem.
She won’t even look at me,
Much less give me a chance.
She hates my guts, and
She stated it clearly,
When I once asked her for a dance.
It's kind of awkward, that bit. But overall- great job! I can't wait to read more of your writing!!
*squee* First of all, I loved it. Second of all, I'm a bit confused. Harry's dead, but Voldemort's still alive? I'm not criticizing that fact, just trying to make sure I have it right. I haven't read many stories with that ...'plotline.'
“I can’t bring him back, Hermione. I just can’t. I would if I could, you know that. I’d do anything for you.”
That. Now, that, made me cry. Good job! :)
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so very much, Emma! I tried to create something different, you know? It\'s a one shot, so I don\'t have to deliver the rest of the story about how Voldy was actually defeated, I just wanted to portray some emotions with grief. Thanks for the review! ~Lindsey :)
*dreamy sigh* I love SS/HG.
Most of the SS/HG fics i've read end up in this love/hate relationship in a countryside estate after the war. And, quite frankly, i'm quite sick of them. This story was a good change of scenery, so to speak.
There were a few spots where severus seemed to be speaking as a man far younger than himself- with less trials, and at the time i thought it was OOC, but i'm beginning to think that maybe you did that on purpose? Maybe it's just the fact that loving someone so many years younger than you brings that out in you. 'Young again' of some sort.
Overall, though, i really enjoyed this fic. It seemed to hold just the right amount of something that held my attention. Great job!
Author's Response: oh wow, thank you, that is the best review i\'ve ever recieved:D some of it is purposely done, but there might be more than i\'ve done unconsciously, i tend to write first and then think.