I'm a young person living in Nashville, TN with a wife and dog. Relatively simple life. I'm writing here for several reasons.
1. I love Harry Potter and the world that J.K. Rowling created.
2. I love to write and this is an excellent forum to practice and receive criticism.
3. I love to read HP fanfiction and wanted to contribute something that is, hopefully, fun to read.
I see where this is going, but the final third of this chapter was REALLY confusing. The punctuation didn't agree with the sentence, and the changes in scene, subject, character, etc made it very hard to follow. I had to re-read the entire thing three times just to understand it all. But, now that I can see it, I think its a great diretion. Just rework the organization of your thoughts a bit more. :-)
Author's Response: Hi there! I know how difficult that chapter can be to follow (and it was meant to be that way...really!) Chaos, out-of-sequence events, characters interrupting where they shouldn\'t. You see everyone has their own agenda, thoughts and secrets, the conversations that follow are meant to be as confusing as the Ditzy Blitz that created the situation.
ok, now I'm REALLY confused. Why did Ginny go on a tyrade? What is with the lynch-mob after Harry? It doesn't really make any sense.
Author's Response: I\'m beginning to suspect you\'re a guy teelcj! Am I right? ;) Ginny doesn\'t appreciate sexism, that\'s why she went a little ballistic on Harry. Ginny, in particular, is easily offended by sexism because she has so many brother who try to tell her what she can or can\'t do because she is \'just a girl\'. The idea that Ginny would need to ASK PERMISSION from a boy she\'s dating before being able to try out for the quidditch team is enough to send her into a raging fit! Mind you, all Harry did was stupidly phrase his very real concerns for her safety. Ginny will realize this and calm it on down...but first Harry better disappear for a while! Most guys didn\'t get this chapter but every single female did...that\'s too funny!
aww. I love Hedwig. :-) What a great way to bring about a beginning! Hedwig is a kind of "mother" to Harry, and he doesn't even realize it. Thats awesome.
Author's Response: Thanks! I adore Hedwig and thought she could give Harry and Ginny the push they needed to get the ball rolling. Thank you for the kind review!
aw, such a GREAT story! :-) Beautifully written, very evocative. *hug* you asked for one!
You are a great writer. You do an incredible job of shifting gears, transitioning, adding a splash of emotion and color. I am really captivated by this story. Congrats on an incredible beginning. I love it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, and welcome to the Epilogues story arc! I really hope you do continue to read my stories, and I look forward to reading more reviews from you. Again, thanks, and hope to see you for Epilogues Part I
This is interesting. it definitely deals with mortality in a very real and mature fashion. But, does it reveal anything about the Epilogues series? I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see when the other story is finished. But as I was reading it, I couldn't help but wonder. And, if my math is correct, Harry is only around 58-60. So, he's pretty young. And Ginny died before this, seemingly a while before. Like, during the Epilogues series. Maybe thats assuming too much, I don't know. Anyway...I liked the story. It was really good.
Author's Response: I left the math a little vague, and my intention was for Harry and Ginny to have died before their time, but not before at least having lived a fulfilling life and watching their children grow up to be strong adults. Most definitely they survive the epilogues series given that Part III is the last story in the series and the Tom is only eight at that time. As far as being particularly revealing, I wouldn\'t think so, other than, you know at least those people in the room with him survive. Beyond that there wasn\'t exactly a specific reason I included this story in the arc other than the fact that all of my stories are in the same arc, and so it was just more fitting, I suppose. I already know their back stories according to my arc and how they would have developed accordingly. Had I not kept this to the same arc, these might be very different people. Anyway, thank you very much!
This is a great story. I got so caught up in it that I forgot the other book I was reading. It carries a similar tone and quality as Rowling's style. I can't wait for you to finish it!! Keep the other chapters coming! And I really, really love how you wove Ginny back into the story. The sappy romantic in me was soaring! Cheers!
Author's Response: Thank you! I just love Ginny; I couldn\'t bear to leave her out.
aww, SUCH a great story. This isn't first time I've read it, nor will it be the last. It had me on the edge of my seat, and there were plenty of twists that you couldn't expect. Thanks for a great work.
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m flattered to hear that you like it so much. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.
Oh God, this story made me cry. You are a very emotional, evocative writer. I really like your style. I really think you should think about a longer story. Something more than a chapter or two.
Wow. I haven't even finished this story, and I'm already crying. You have a way with words that draws the reader into the story completely. I was lost in the words, in the moment. I could almost hear Ron, Hermmione, Harry, and Arthur saying these things, I could feel what they were feeling. Thank you for being so sensetive to the characters AND to the readers.
Your grammar and syntax are wonderful, and I haven't found a punctuation error yet!
I can't wait to read more of your work. Thank you, it's a joy to read these.
Harry's life stands at a crossroads.
He is torn between a return to the only true home he as ever known or a dark and dangerous winding and twisting road through Horcruxes and ending with murder.
But can he become a murderer? Can he over come the Dark Arts, while dabbling within them? Will Ron and Hermione stand beside him on the road to doom? And if love is truly his greatest power then why did he let his only true love go?
To defeat evil, Harry must climb a mountain of dark Death Eaters and Ministry mayhem - but will he come out on top in the Final Battle?
Good story thus far. Are you going to finish it?
This is the second time I've read through. Great story line, when will you finish it?
Thus far, I really think that your story line is fantastic. I can't wait to read the next installment! The cliffies are well placed, the story is well paced, and your new ideas in characters, spells, abilities, prophecies, etc are all very creative, and fit well into the structure that Rowling has fashioned. The only thing that I would love to see is a bit better grammar and syntax, but thats not a big deal. :) I guess I'm just a stickler for little details like that. Otherwise, great job. I really love that story. Let me know when the new chapter comes out, or if you need some help.
Author's Response: Hi there. I may well take you up on that offer as I truely want to improve what is the weak point in my stories. The next chapter is not finished yet, however when it has been I may be in touch.
Second time I've read through the story. It's excellent. You really should finish the bit about the boys.
I read your story over the summer. It only went up to the point where Tonks died. But, I recently remebered reading it and decided to reread everything from the beginning. Well...I'm not dissappointed in the least. This is one of the best stories I have read in the fanfiction realm. The way that you "play" with J.K. Rowling's world is really quite incredible.
Now, I don't know if its because I'm fairly good at reading mystery plots or what, but I knew that Adam was going to betray Ron and Harry, and I knew that the boys, especially Dennis were going to be the focal point of the Nightshades' plot. It wasn't obvious, I don't think, but I caught on.
So, man, keep freaking writing! I want to see the end of this story. Shoot, I might print it off and bind it so I can have it on the bookshelf next to the other HP books!
This is an incredible story.
Author's Response: Wow. Okay, for one, it is always nice to see people come back to these stories as you have, it hints at the possibility that I\'ve written something truly engrossing and worth coming back to even after putting it down for a while. As for playing in Rowling\'s world, having only spent 2 hours in England, I don\'t know the country that well, however; that is the beauty of a world created with magic, it lends so much to creation and imagination. I\'ve thoroughly enjoyed creating the Grove, and the Cathedral and the Gnaritas Fidelis library These locals that could only be in a world of magic, and let me hide the fact that I have very little knowledge of the country in which they are set. But locations are only one part of the world, the other part being the magic itself which I have taken a great many liberties with. I think what first got me thinking about this was that in the original books there is so much talk about \"theory\" but in practice, most magic comes down to waving a piece of wood and saying the words. So I wanted to expand upon that and put true theory behind the theory in the books. I wanted to show the kind of historical and cultural difference that might arise from magic usage and still hold true to a magical world that relies heavily upon wands and words. And so we have the scrolls from the asian lands which I believe to be the way at least in the Japanese culture magic is primarily signified with. In China I think there is much more emphasis placed upon reagents. And the masks (I can say this now that you\'ve read up through the pupil), I dirived through the old tales of Witch Doctors and their large ornate masks and shaman powers. I\'ve still another trick or two up my sleeve that I\'ll be curious to see if anyone gets. But what this has allowed me to do is really flesh out the physics of magic in such a way that does not infringe terribly upon the original skeleton of magic that Rowling provides. In a way, this has become something of a hidden character in this story, from the way Rathius employs his staff, to the Asiatic scrolls that seem to be so powerful. As for Adam betraying Ron and Harry, I did leave one blatant hint out there in the open, mainly as a kind of homage to Rowling who had the habit of naming her characters in such a way that really gave away who they were (r.j. LUPIN, SIRIUS black). Though I don\'t think I mention his last name beyond the first chapter, one should not forget the name Benedict as it pertains to American history. The boys, that was a very good catch, and I\'m not sure how you picked up on that, though I suppose that could be a result of how much prominence they received in a story in which they would at least seem to be only bit players. Of course, this begs the question, have you solved the big mystery yet? Well, I intend to keep writing. The only reason why it\'s been such a long wait between this chapter and the next is because of the site problems. Chapter 18 actually had been validated but it got stuck in the queue, so after waiting a couple of days to see if it would get unstuck, I pulled it to hopefully make things easier on the moderators. The moment the site comes back up, I\'ll put up chapter 18 back in the queue, and hopefully a little note saying that it had already been validated will help speed the process along. As for Chapter 19, I\'m about a third to a half of the way through writing it, but this is very rough writing that will no doubt require quite a bit of revision. On top of that, I think I may have a pacing error on my hands, one that will require me to reorganize how I do things because I don\'t think I\'m going to get in my planned cliffie at the end of the chapter and still be under 10,000 words. I\'ll be highly disappointed if this is the case considering I have the next three or four chapters paced out very meticulously and I would hate to have to substitute the chapter 19 cliffie for something lesser. But in any case, I\'m glad you\'re enjoying it, and am flattered you would have this boud. If you do decide to do that, let me know, I would like a picture. thank you again.