Unfortunately, due to glitches to the site, I cannot update my bio and have taken off all my material. When I can, I will repost my bio.
That said, please read and review!
OH MY GOD!!!
That was sooooo funny, even though I didn't understand half of what BL said. (That's Bellatrix Lestrange by the way.) I love your fic, it was so funny. (Hang on, I've said that. OOPS!) You are great at humor fics, your hufflepuff ice cream fic was hillarious. Very orginal. Well, ok. Um..bye!! :)
Author's Response: Hey thank you so much! ^_^ I actually submitted the ice cream one because I\'m insane... it\'s probably good that you couldn\'t understand Bella-- it means you\'re intelligent and don\'t waste your time with people who blabber in netspeak!
Author's Response: I plan on it, but i have alot of Honors classes this year, and school comes first.
I like it so far.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Awwww! Cute! I like the James/Lily action... finally! *giggles*
P.S: Are you from Brazil? I'm half brazillian.
Author's Response: First, thanks for the review. And yes, I am brazilian. Half anyway. My mom is. My dad\'s from Massachusets...That\'so cool...do you live in Brazil...?
I LOVED IT!
Author's Response: =D I\'m glad!
I'd just like to say that I really liked this story; it had such a heart-warming plot and the description was lovely.
It seemed to Neville that the number of furtive glances crossing between the boys and the girls was even higher than usual.
I really liked this point because it created atmosphere; boys and girls really would send more furtive glances to one another after a ball. This point made me feel as though I was in the room with them (boys and girls that is).
...who could dance, what to wear —
His coat was still in the Great Hall.
I thought this statement was a little confusing. Neville wasn't in speech and it wasn't clear to me that the statement beforehand was his thoughts; it seemed to be just general description/explanation, so I his coat was a little foggy.
Perhaps: He waded through the common room, trudged up to his room, and sat on his bed with a sigh of relief. The Ball was over. No more endless discussions about who to ask, he thought, or what girls were better-looking, which ones might say yes, who could dance, what to wear —
His coat was still in the Great Hall.
I think that this way, you know straight away whose coat has been left in the Great Hall.
irl stood silhouetted before one of the high windows, her dress robes floating around her.
I thought that this description was amazing. The words silhouetted and floating really make Ginny seem to be some sort of "Angel" or "Princess". It's a clever technique of making Ginny appear to be more beautiful than she is, though she is very beautiful, because the reader assumes that she is angelically beautiful when she might not be.
was only a desire, though; he was sure that she would never forgive him for spying on her.
I thought this was typically Neville; he was nervous and he jumped to conclusions. He isn't optimistic in this scene because instead of thinking that she would thank him for dancing with her, he thinks she will never forgive him for spying on her. I thought he was very in character.
desperation, Neville blurted, “I’m sorry I asked you to the Ball.”
Ginny did look at him this time, puzzled and a little hurt. Flushing, he stumbled to correct his mistake. “I mean — I’m sorry I asked before Harry did.”
Ginny turned bright red. “No — he — I — he wasn’t really going to ask. He might have, but it wasn’t because he wanted to go with me, it was because he didn’t have a date.”
I thought that both Neville and Ginny were in character in this scene; Neville was apologising for something that he didn't need to apologise for and Ginny was spilling out her emotions to him, meaning that she trusted him. I thought that this was an important scene for Neville/Ginny story because you can sense the tension in-between them.
Only one thing came to Neville, and he blurted it out before he could take it back as a bad idea.
“Do you want to dance?”
Ginny looked at him for a long moment. His eyes pleaded for her approval, for the chance to help her.
Neville looked at her sad brown eyes, the tearstains on her young face. The tiny smile that wavered bravely.
I thought that this scene showed a brave Neville that only comes out occasionally. He must really like Ginny to be brave enough to ask her this when we usually only see this side of him when he's fighting Death Eaters or the Dark Arts. In my eyes, Neville feels that Ginny is the only important thing to him at this time and he wants to cheer her up because he can't bear to see her unhappy.
One tiny suggestion, that isn’t very important so don’t worry. You use blurted twice so maybe you could change one of them to divulged or uttered.
One other tiny thing on that quote. I think that grammatically, this sentence works better.
Neville looked at her sad brown eyes, the tearstains on her young face, the tiny smile that wavered bravely.
If you start a new sentence, the smile is separated from the rest of the statement. This is minor so I wouldn't worry about it.
After a few minutes, Neville heard her give a little choking sound. He did the only thing he could think of and pulled her into his arms to let her cry on his shoulder. She was a wonderful girl, and he would be there for her, though he would never ask her out. He held her for a long time.
I thought that this tied into the rest of the story. Neville was the sweet boy everyone thought he was and Ginny just melted into his arms. This just makes it seem as if they are perfect for each other. I liked the way that Neville simply accepted that he couldn't be her boyfriend but he could be her friend. He could hold her when she was upset and if she did get together with Harry, he could be there to give her his utmost support.
The moon was not visible from his window, but he left the curtains open anyway, so he could look out at the unreachable stars.
Although it had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of story, I thought that this was the perfect ending.
As for the song, I thought it tied in with the story perfectly.
In conclusion, I thought that was a very well written, heart-felt story. It certainly makes you think about whether Neville and Ginny are a match :D . Both Neville and Ginny are in character and it is amazing atmospherically. I loved it. So Starmaiden, keep up the good work!
~ JoJo... :)
Author's Response: Oh, wow. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this! I will definitely look into changing some of those grammatical things. Some of them were deliberate, for the sake of style, but it\'s a fine line between stylistic and just plain ungrammatical. Hee. You caught the fact that the line about the \"unreachable stars\" doesn\'t have anything to do with anything else. I had to go back and put the part about the moon in to make it work (since the moon featured a bit in the Great Hall), but it worked nicely. I really got to like Neville after writing so much about him. He is loyal, intelligent in some areas, and very caring. He\'s also a Gryffindor, so I really looked to find his courage. It\'s a much quieter kind of bravery -- like standing up to your friends who are sneaking out in the middle of the night. He has the courage to do what is right. You\'re very right about him supporting Ginny, even if she does date Harry. Neville would be there to see her through.
Author's Response: Thanks.
I am so sorry but I am unsure of which year this story takes place. 5th year, 6th year and 7th year.
Author's Response: They mention that it is their NEWT (seventh) year, i.e. 2025. GhV
so sad. i burst ino tears.
I don’t think so.She would be a Slytherin Princess, still as golden, only more cunning and less conventional.
In this story, let her teach you in gaining influence over the very people who crave it.LucillaJoanna of Hufflepuff is here playing Lachesis for the May One-Shot Challenge...
...And won Second Place!(Rating only for mild language)
I read this a couple fo weeks ago, but I forgot to review. *headdesk* Anyway, I loved it.
~ Jojo aka Twin.
Author's Response: thanks, twin! *headdesk* so late response, hehe. ^_^ anyway, i did thank you by email. i\'m just making it public...
I loved it. I thought it was great the way made it a little AU, with James Turner, and James Potter at the end.
I just thought I'd let you know, James (Potter) is pureblood, and he can't be if Tally is muggle-born. Hang on, but- *checks summary* That's undre the AU warning *slaps head*. Ok, that was completely pointless.
I think I'll stick to "this story was fab!"
Author's Response: thanks! Glad you liked it, and thanks for the review!
I remember reading this first on I Challenge Thee and I loved it. I still do.
Author's Response: Hehe, thanks! I Challenge Thee is a wonderful writing tool sometimes...
What a wonderful plot! It was so good. Everyone was in character and the descritption was amazing. I loved the ending, even though it was kinda sad. But all J/L fics are like that. Really good.
~ Jojo... :)
Well, this was up to your usual writing standard (I love Someone To Watch Over Me as well) and (of course) I loved it. It fitted together with the plot in DH perfectly, and I like how you show a definate James/Lily relationship, but still making it realistsic. And nobody was OOC! One of favourite stories. Congrats!
Author's Response: This is my baby, one of my favorite pieces thus far. I\'m glad you liked it! One of my biggest aims was definitely to create an unquestionable James/Lily romance. I hate also those fics out there about an angry James, an oppressed, trapped Lily and her real true love Snape. Ew. Thanks for the review!
“It’s our rule not to dredge up past things, remember?”This rule is about to be broken.
~Inspired by a worldwide beloved film.
Well, it takes a lot to impress me, and I'm impressed. Loving it! Update soon.
Please, please, please review! I am so into this story and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Author's Response: I\'m so sorry you have to wait so long for updates. The admins are taking forever to validate new chapters. They must be short-staffed or something, I don\'t know. But the next one\'s been posted for two weeks, so now it\'s up to Mugglenet.
This was a really emtional ride. Very well written.