Penname: Afifa [Contact]
Real name: Afifa
Member Since: 04/26/07
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A Black Rose and a White Lily
Update on August 9, '12- I have yet to start writing the fifth chapter. So that'll take some time. Okay, so, let's just admit this fic has been abandoned for now.

A Silent Change
Update on August 9 '12 - Chapter 4 was apparently with my betas. Chapters 5 and 6 were all written but I don't have any of these now. So, again, fic has been abandoned for now.

Eventual Embrace
Update on August 9, '12- A sequel to my other James/Lily one shot: Beneath the Shell. A follow up one shot will be coming whenever. Okay, probably never.

I haven't written Harry Potter fanfiction in an age. I highly doubt I'll be writing any more any time soon and continuing these which I wrote forever ago? Don't think that's happening. Enjoy the one shots though. :)
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Reviews by Afifa
 

Of Blood, Gore, and Alibis by lullaby BANG
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 25]

Summary: It’s coming, believe it or not. The Ministry doesn’t believe it, but who will then? It’s infuriating to know you’re invisible to society, but then there’s something exhilarating, entrancing about it. It’s dancing the devilish dance: provocative, teasing- leaving the viewers wanting more, or better yet, it’s like having an addiction.

An addiction with a purpose to be more precise… oh, and the occasional bite. Who are we then? We’re the out casted of the outcasts within a secluded society that further alienates us and leaves us utterly alone, but we’ve finally found each other so we’re not as alone. Things can change in an instance, though, and they already have. I have to confess: I’m scared, but I’ve already started to dance so I must keep dancing.

And besides, I don’t want the vampire or werewolf communities seizing control of the Ministry because I’ve already seen what they’ve done.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 9303 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
04/03/08 Updated: 07/18/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 05/06/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two: Angels, Monsters, and Redemption

omg! He's a vampire! That is so cool. =D I loved this chapter. In fact, I liked it even better than the previous one. I'm adding it to my favourites. =)

Author's Response: OHMY! He is!! -squeal- And a damn sexy one at that.xD Thanks for the review Afifa.(: I\'m glad you adored this chapter; they\'re only going to get bettter. ;D

 
Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 04/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: I'm All Dressed Up and Ready to Play

Ah, lovely start, Jess. =)
The summary was very well written, very interesting. It perked my attention. Same with the chapter. What I liked was your description of Dacia. You pictured her as one with scars and all. She isn't supposed to be having breath taking beauty as several other fics have. Of course, she's a werewolf, so she has all those scratches, but that's revealed later. Anyways, all in all, it was a wonderful start, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. =)

Author's Response: All of these compliments about my summary are drowning me in happiness, ha. (: Wewt.:* Yay for scars, hah. As you already mentioned, we\'ve got two weeks for the next chapter.xD haha. Thanks Afifa, another review that made me smile.(:

 

These Lives We Live by Gin_Drinka
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: These lives we live are not bright...

Petunia wishes she were a star.

These lives we live are not worth memory...

Peter wishes to be like his friends.

The lives we live are just tiles.

Regulus wishes he were alive.


Every life means something.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 889 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/12/08 Updated: 05/05/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 05/06/08 Title: Chapter 1: Our Lives

Oh my goodness, Mia! This is fantastic! So sweet, and real and emotional (a bit?). I loved it.

Author's Response: Lol, thanks Afifa! I\'m really glad you liked it.

 

I Am Nothing by lullaby BANG
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: But werewolves turn into vampires after death, after all, monsters are monsters, and inversely, hybrids can be formed, and this is the result. It cannot be described in a conventional manner for it shouldn’t be described in such vulgar terms, but he is here now- forever. Casted aside from the Wizarding world, he is stuck in a fluctuating state of uncertainty, but he’s ready to declare himself- to you.

*Written for Schmergo's Silly Summaries

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 1968 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/25/08 Updated: 05/11/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/05/08 Title: Chapter 1: I Am Nothing

I've got no words. Sirius-ly. This one shot blew me away. It was so very well written. Great job, Je$$! ;)

Author's Response: Thank you Afifa! :D I\'m glad you enjoyed it.

 

Who Am I? by mudbloodproud
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 77]

Summary:

What happens when you find out your whole life has been a lie? How do you react when the people you trusted, believed in confess to hiding a secret that changes everything you believed about yourself?

Hermione Granger is about to face that situation.

The war is over and life should be simple. She should be planning her future with the man she has loved since she was 11. But now, she doesn’t know who she really is. As she struggles with the grief of lost friends, she also deals with the grief of the loss of everything she believed about herself. Can she open her heart enough to let Ron help her deal with this, or will this secret drive them apart?



Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 34492 Chapters: 16 Completed: No
Published:
04/29/08 Updated: 08/11/09


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/19/08 Title: Chapter 3: A Long Held Secret

Woah, Terri. Talk about being shocked. =O I had thought that one of the Marauders would have been the father, because of one of the lines in which you've said about Snape hating her father. But then, you had written about Dumbledore meeting the person, and I thought that it could not possibly be any of the four. =/

Anyways, it was a great chapter! Sirius-ly. =) 



Author's Response: When I wrote the line about Snape hating her father, I thought for sure I\'d given away the \'secret\'. I\'m glad the part with Dumbledore going to talk to her parents balanced out the mystery. Now that the secret is out, the fun will begin. Thanks for your review. I\'m glad you liked this chapter. Terri

 
Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/05/08 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

I could only find one typo: 

“We have to tell her. Now, before she finds out on her own, before she reverses the Memory Charm on her parents!” Professor McGonagall spoke to a portraits hanging behind the headmistress’s desk.

It should be 'portrait'.

He would not have been able to get over his hatred of her father.

This has got me thinking, not that I need to seeing that the next chapter is already up. :p 

Great starting! *goes to read next chapter* 



Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I will fix the typo. Thanks for pointing it out. Terri

 
Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/05/08 Title: Chapter 2: The Letter

This is not fair, Terri! I thought that you were going to reveal Hermione's real parents in this chapter! *humph*

/tantrums

Lol. I loved this chapter. And I hate your 'strengths' of ending stories with cliffies. Jokin' jokin'. Don't take it sirius-ly, hmm?

Anyways, the story. It was very well written, especially the whole of Harry's speech to Snape. 

And, I'm adding this to the favourites! =D

Best of luck for the future chapters, and be sure that I'll read and review every one of them. :p 



Author's Response: I am honored to have my story added to your favorites. Thank you. I will be submitting the next chapter to the queue within a day or two. The following chapter is already with the betas. Thanks again for your thoughts. Terri

 

Summary: Sirius Black was the complete opposite of every member of the Black family, save for Andromeda. What made him become this way?

He thought his brother, Regulus, was a complete git, and he disliked him even more when he became a Death Eater at the age of sixteen. How did Sirius feel about him while the two were growing up? Were they close, or did they never get along?

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4508 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
05/05/08 Updated: 06/06/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/05/08 Title: Chapter 1: Still Going Through

Wow, Tiff! That was amazing. Sirius-ly. It's no hidden fact that I love Sirius, so that added of course. But I really did liked this chapter. And, no, don't you dare abandon this fic. Continue it, yeah? Lovely job! =)

 

Summary: It is the morning of Bill Weasley’s wedding to Fleur Delacour. In the early morning silence of the Burrow,

Bill looks back over his life and the recent events that brought him to this new chapter in his life.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 9647 Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/23/08 Updated: 04/28/09


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/05/08 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

Lovely starting, Terri!

I like how you bring in all the Weasley kids one by one, and even Harry in the end.

You've kept the fact that Bill was a Head Boy in your mind, and made studies go easy on him. Very good!

Over all, it was nice! =) 



Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well. I will be resubmitting chapter 1 soon. Terri

 

The Torn Photograph by mudbloodproud
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: “We all know that all of the Time Turners were smashed during the battle with the Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic.

However, I, being the clever little witch I am, invented a time machine.

Have you ever wondered, what was the story behind the torn photograph Harry Potter found at Grimmauld Place?

I have.

So, let’s take a trip together. Back to 1981. July 31, 1981 to be exact.

Buckle your seatbelts and hold on, this may be a bumpy ride.”

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1433 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/23/08 Updated: 06/02/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/05/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Omg, Terri! This one shot was really sweet. Sirius-ly. I loved it! Great job! (Y)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it. Terri

 

He Wasn't All Bad by Amelia Bedelia
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 38]

Summary: COMPLETE. When trying to decide who might be worse - the Weasley twins or James and Sirius - the Fat Lady retells a story about overhearing James' confession to Lily. One-shot.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3433 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/16/08 Updated: 06/23/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 06/24/08 Title: Chapter 1: He Wasn't All Bad

Aww... man. This was so friggin' sweet. =D

 

Bad Luck, Prongs by Silvermoon25
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: It's James Potters and Lily Evan's Seventh Year at Hogwarts. James is determined to finally win over Lily's heart, but there are two problems. The first is that she still hates him, and the second is he already has a girlfriend. What's a guy to do?

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1234 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
06/21/08 Updated: 07/01/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 07/04/08 Title: Chapter 1: Surprise Head Boy

 Lovely beginning!

A few nitpicks though:

It was a pity his best friends were the infamous Marauders, the well-known pranksters of Hogarts.

The spelling of 'Hogwarts' is wrong.

She half expected him to smirk and say something witty (or something he considered witty, but he seemed just as astonished as she was.

The bracket is not closed.

Other than that, it was a pretty good chapter. =)



Author's Response: Yeah - I went back through and found several typos and stuff. \r\n\r\nThanks for your review!

 

Crumbling by Kiryn
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: "October 31, 1981. The day Lily and James died. The day my world crumbled down around me."

Told from the perspective of Sirius Black. Reviews would be greatly appreciated, and I will respond to every one!

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2163 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/24/08 Updated: 07/03/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 07/04/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on getting this validated! =D

Because I’m Sirius Black, a rule breaker, defiant to the end, daring, reckless. You don’t think I can do it?

Watch me.

Oh, I LOVE this part, like I told you before. :p I loved the whole one shot, but this was the best. =)



Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing Afifa! And that\'s my favorite part too. It was so much fun to write. =D

 

Everything Happens for a Reason by MerrryD
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 31]

Summary:

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Every student plans on making their final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry the most memorable one ever. Eight in particular want to make those minutes really count. Except, they each have a different idea of how to go about doing it.

James Potter would like to waltz into Lily Evans’s life and throw it completely off course. Julie McGuire didn’t exactly plan on rescuing Remus Lupin, but now that she has, why not just go with it? Marlene McKinnon should have know what she got herself into when she kissed Sirius Black the first time, but that boy has a way of knocking her senseless. Emmeline Vance had planned to just sit back and watch it all happen, until Roxanna Louchester, her ex-friend, barged in and turned everything upside down.

Suddenly they’ve gone from only wanting the most memorable year, to achieving it. It’s a year of love and lust. It’s a year of tears and fights. It’s a year of finding yourself. It’s a year of learning to lose. It’s a year that none of them are likely to forget.

How do you measure a year in the life?



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 18589 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
06/27/08 Updated: 08/28/09


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 07/05/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Are You Ready? Hold that Focus--Steady

Woah. You've got a Marauder era fic up! Yay! =D

It's different, to say the least. James is not trying to talk to Lily. Lily never screamed when she found out that James was Head Boy. In fact, she was late for the meeting and not him. Oh, and Sirius is not even present. People tend to forget Peter, but Sirius! I'm not saying that it's bad, though. I just mean that it's different, and it's a good thing. =)

I really liked the first chapter, the cliffies and all. =p When will you update next? *hint hint*

Great job, Mere! =D



Author's Response: Afifa! -huggles- Oh, good. I was hoping for different. :) Don\'t worry, I haven\'t forgotten Sirius. He\'ll be there later, I promise. I\'m glad you liked it! I\'ll try my best to update asap. xo Mere

 

Reflected by helz_belz
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: What happens when you choose the wrong path?
What happens when you lose everything that ever mattered to you?

Severus is left with nothing but emptiness and black, stretching to the very corners of his soul. Ten years on, Severus stumbles across a Mirror that shows the only thing he has ever desired. Staring at the cold glass, he is forced to reflect on what losing her has done. .

Suicide is only contemplated.
I am Merlin_Helz from the beta boards.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Suicide

Word count: 2260 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/28/08 Updated: 06/29/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 07/01/08 Title: Chapter 1: The Mirror

Congratulations, dear, on getting this accepted! =]

I loved the edited version. =D



Author's Response: Thanks for being a great beta and thanks for the review!

 

But Red Blood Looks Better by moonstonesilver
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Some say Lucius just used Narcissa as a toy. Some say he had a little heart at the beginning, but lost it soon after. But what if he just decided not to show what he felt? A betraying little piece of parchment found in the basement of Malfoy Manor tells all.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 104 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/30/08 Updated: 07/05/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 08/19/08 Title: Chapter 1: ... But Red Blood Looks Better

Maryam! That was quite a lovely poem, dear. Great job! =]

Author's Response: Hey thanksies, Fiffy :D I'm flattered you thought it was lovely! :D

 
Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 08/19/08 Title: Chapter 1: ... But Red Blood Looks Better

Also, Congratulations on having your first poem up on the archives! =D

Author's Response: Aw, thanks hun xD Sorry I've responded so late! :o Lurve and huggles! Mocha Kupcake.

 

Reluctant Love by cassie123
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 23]

Summary: There were three things Lily Potter and Rose Weasley knew they had in common. They both shared their names with rather popular flowers, they had both inherited the Weasley red hair and freckles gene, and they both had fairly famous fathers.

But there was still one unfortunate similarity that Rose and Lily were ignorant to: they had both grown a strong interest in the enemy. And the fact that both Rose and Lily shared a common ‘enemy’ only increased the undesirability of the circumstance. Oh, and by ‘enemy’ they meant Scorpius Malfoy.

--

‘I don’t understand you, Malfoy.’
He smirked. ‘You don’t have to.’


Categories: Various Pairings Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 10992 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/21/08 Updated: 09/03/08


Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 05/01/09 Title: Chapter 3: Scorpius

Ooohh... the last chapter.

Brother interferes. Sigh. Well, that was kind of expected. Albus bears some character resemblance to Ron. Interfering, prejudiced, and always jumping to conclusions. But, I have to say this for Al, he doesn’t do anything but warn Rose. He lets his parents know. And, done. He only gets all fired up when he sees Scorpius with his younger sister. More than enough for any older brother to get pissed off. So I can’t say that I blame him.



‘Which cousin?’ she asked after a moment. Her question, of course, took me by surprise. Who else could it have been but Lily? I was hardly an invitation for homosexuality. ‘The girl cousin,’ I said simply.



Ahahahaha. xD This made me laugh out loud for real. Especially ‘cause it’s Scorpius Malfoy and not just any other guy. And it also lends a funny side to a serious situation.



The *talk* about Lily kissing Scorpius went on fine. Rose seemed quite understanding, or maybe she masked her anger or insecurity or whatever she was feeling?



Ron... sigh. I do like though that they don’t break up because of the letter, but the conversation which they have later. Ron’s letter is just the means, they could’ve patched up if one of them had been willing to back down, but they didn’t. Me loves some fiery arguments. :D Though I didn’t like the ending, of course. :(



It was nice reading a chapter from Scorpius’ POV. To get into a guy’s head for a change. And it showed a few more things about him which Rose and Lily missed. Or just didn’t mention. Like Albus calling him ‘Malfoy’ but Scorpius is all ‘mate’. He wants to be friends with him. He’s willing to extend the hand first. To let the old animosity die, to start a new beginning even though the others still have doubts. He’s a sweet kid. Okay, a teenager, seeing that he’s seventeen something, but yes. I really do like his character. He feels sorry for Lily. It isn’t that ‘Oh my God, I’m so hot, all girls are after me. Including the Saviour’s only daughter’. He’s not proud about that fact, unlike his father. But he also shows some Draco traits here and there... which aren’t exactly bad. Just serve to show his *bad* side which is the negative side, not evil. He gets angry, and reverts to the surnames. That is so Draco, except that Draco would’ve started name calling them. Also the bloody Gryffindors and nosy Gryffindors. But again, Draco would’ve gone a few steps ahead. Like I said in the first review, Scorpius is proud of his family, well, not of the things they’ve done, but still he isn’t ashamed of them, even though he’s willing to agree that what they did wasn’t right.



The ending was sad. But I liked how you wrapped up with Rose, Scorpius and Lily. It was not just the couple, and Scorpius’ heartbreak. >.> I’m glad though, that you have a follow up one shot, or I’d have hunted you down and made you write one. Lol.



Fantastic three-shot, Cassie!



- Afifa

 
Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 04/30/09 Title: Chapter 1: Rose

Wow. You’ve got quite a list of interesting fictions up, but this summary grabbed my attention immediately. The four comparisons between the two cousins including Scorpius. And more so, because it’s a triangle, and I’ve been wanting to read an unrequited love fic since ages. So, of course, I chose this one to review. :D

I really like the starting. It’s Rose totally starting off without an explanation because that’s something she does every day. She explains it soon, of course, but the beginning makes one think why in the world she’s skipping breakfast. Also, you let us know her age in a very subtle manner. It’s not Rose saying ‘Hey, I’m seventeen!’. It’s her mentioning the school year. In fact, you have done this throughout the fic. You have this special knack of slipping in extra information here and there, like how much breakfast she used to eat and so on. It gives details, yet they don’t seem forced.



...staring at Lily with a smirk spread across his ruby lips.


Okay, yes. No error whatsoever in that sentence. All I wanted to mention was the ‘ruby lips’ part. It’s a completely random thing, but it struck me mainly because it’s been quite a time since I’ve read lips described as ruby. They’re usually: ‘pink, red, rosy’ etc. ‘Ruby’ was a fresh change for me.


‘Wow,’ I sighed. ‘That’s really big of you, Scorpius.’


I also like that Rose takes Scorpius’ first name. Not ‘Malfoy’ and all that. [Okay, so later she calls him ‘Malfoy’ once, but most of the time it’s ‘Scorpius’.] Like Lily used to call James ‘Potter’ even though they were in the same house. But these two are actually having a civil conversation. Not friendly, but considering the fact that one’s a Weasley, and Ron’s daughter at that, and the other a Malfoy, I’ll say they’re keeping their manners in mind. Rose slips once, but she does apologise. She’s even telling him her career choice despite the fact that she’s embarrassed by it. Though I have to say, her wanting to become an Auror is kind of... expected. Like the Weasleys and Potters helped fight the war, so their kids will automatically end up as Aurors, or something similar to that.


Scorpius’ choice of profession, I must say, was not what I’d been expecting. And, no, him being a Healer isn’t a bad thing, I just never thought of a Malfoy being a Healer- someone who helps people in a good way. It gives him a good point. Might I add here that I love Scorpius’ characterization so far? He’s friendly, fair-minded, and gallant, is not exactly proud of his family’s history but doesn’t hate them for that, is kind, too. :D I like him. ;D
A friend of mine, Andrea Cole, passed and gave me a quizzical look.


Andrea’s surname made me think of Tiff ‘cause her username is TCole. >.> lol.



I am also glad that you didn’t have Albus as the shy cousin as they show in the epilogue. Writers often forget that children change in weeks. So obviously Albus did change and didn’t remain as a shy, unsure kid forever his life. Seven years is obviously a huge time period to change, and Albus has used the time to turn from a bashful child to a *protective* cousin. He seems quite... cold or maybe over-protectiveness just gets me.



Scorpius asks Rose out! :D :D :D I can’t wait to read the next chapter, though I’m afraid that the review will have to wait. :$



Awesome job, Cassie! :D



- Afifa



Author's Response: Wow, Afifa. First of all, thank you for such a wonderfully long review! I guess I never thought about the ruby lips thing. I think I pictured Rose as someone who is pale with fairly dark lips, and decided to describe them that way. I'm glad you appreciate how Rose called him by his first name, because I think it'd be a bit cliche for her to call him 'Malfoy' simply because that's what her father called his father. I really appreciate your comments on my characterisation, because it does help me for future next-gen writing. I don't think, had I been writing this story now, I would have characterised Albus as angry and protective as I did. It's good to look back at things and see where I've maybe gone wrong. So thank you, dear, for leaving me this really helpful review! ~ Cassie

 
Reviewer: Afifa Signed
Date: 04/30/09 Title: Chapter 2: Lily

Okay, so I figured I’d review the next two chapters too, for my SPEW requirements. Lol.

The opening of this chapter made me laugh. Sirius-ly. Rose barely gave any details of Scorpius... like the physical details, and here Lily is starting the chapter with his hair. :D And, then, of course, later she mentions about him having the girls at his feet. Lily also describes Rose afterwards, which we didn’t know before, as obviously Rose didn’t go on about her figure.



Also, Rose being the one bringing the butterbeer. I like how you didn’t go for the guy acting all gentlemanly and getting the drinks. No. It’s the other way round. The girl’s getting them whilst the guy sits. I am glad you didn’t go with the cliché even though I like those manners in a guy. But once in a while they should be given slack, wouldn’t you say so?



Who cared if Scorpius should be spending the day with Rose? I wasn’t about to complain that he’d decided to spend it with me.



I don’t know if you were aiming for this, but this passage made me think that Lily would be willing to be the ‘second woman’ as long as she was with who she liked, which kind of makes her seem desperate. And the fact that she kissed him despite knowing that he all ready had a girlfriend adds to that.



I am truly in awe of your characterization skills. Lily is so not like Harry when it comes to friends. She’s ignoring them for a guy who doesn’t even know that she likes him that way. She doesn’t tell them that she’ll be back in a few minutes, she just... leaves. But then, they don’t buy a drink for her, so maybe they don’t exactly deserve a completely loyal friend. Other than that, she’s jealous of Rose which is an automatic reaction even though Rose is her cousin. She’s angry and blaming Rose and knows that that’s wrong of her but she can’t help it. She’s just acting human.



Ending is definitely a cliff. *goes to read the next chapter*



- Afifa



Author's Response: I agree that my characterisation of Lily in this makes her seem extremely desperate. I remember thinking this as I wrote it too. If I was to re-write this fic, I don't think I'd write her again as I have. I think I was trying too hard to stay away from cliches instead of thinking about what she might actually be like. Thanks for this review and your close attention to detail. Your comments really help! xox

 
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