I was born early on in life. For most of my life I was shorter than I am now, then I gradually grew to my current height.
Any stories that may appear here are either completed or postponed indefinitely.
oh my freaking gosh. Okay, can you get any more intense? Here's what I love about this chapter: even though it's full of drama, Lily still has her funny thoughts about James. Here's what I didn't like about this chapter: in the dream she died? Didn't really get that part. Weird. But the rest equals one word: AMAZING! Can't wait for the next chap!
This is the most perfect prologue that I've ever read in my life. And, for the record, I wasn't confused. I did get it... If I ever write a prologue, I hope it's got the magnetism of this one...
Sometimes we, as authors, just feel like writing something really beautiful. I felt that in the opening paragraphs of this one-shot. The setting speaks of peace and beauty, which is such a stark contrast to the initial reactions one has when they read the title 'Scars.'
The third paragraph conveys the feeling of relief so tangibly. I loved the pride Harry had for his Quidditch scar. You also made me reflect on the "I must not tell lies" scar. Perhaps it's not completely terrible - after all, Harry stands for good, love, truth and justice.
From a technical point, there were a couple of things I wanted to point out:
“Reminders that my past is real. But it also reminds me that if I have scars it is only because I can heal. That’s what you do, Hermione, you heal me. In ways I never knew were possible. You are always there, quietly putting your laughter and your smiles right on the deepest scars. The ones no one sees but you.” [Remove the quotations here or just combine the paragraphs.]
“Do you want to know why it took me so long to realize my feelings for you?” Harry asked.
In the last paragraph, 'new day' is used twice. That's not terrible, but there are other ways to illustrate the idea. I find it's usually more powerful if you can state an idea multiple ways and can detract if you get too repetitive.
This was just so warm and lovely to read. I don't know quite how to express how great it was. I want to use the word simple, but only in the connotation of it being simple like a flower or a sunrise or a smile. I'm glad I was your SPEW buddy so that I could stumble happily across this gem!
It was full moon when the Dark Lord sealed a part of his soul within a magical amulet, and then broke it in half. One half was left to the faithful werewolves to guard. The other half was tossed into the impenetrable depths of time where no one but him could get it. When the first half has been found, the Order of the Phoenix selects Hermione Granger to go back into the past to search for the missing piece. What is waiting for her is a brutal task that will test her beyond her limits, and an undying love that extends beyond the boundaries of time.
No werewolves were harmed in the making of this story.
Update (9 May): Chapter 17, Burning, is up! Enjoy!
Dude, should I even bother submitting a review 'Astrid'? Those other three are a hard act to follow. I simply loved the feel of it all. You can feel that they're all young. They've got their whole lives ahead of them. Except that Hermione knows that they don't. That's the element that just kills me. It's different than ploughing through all those J/Ls and knowing that they're going to die as a reader. Reading about how Hermione knows that they're going to die is just so completely terrible, and brilliant, and fascinating, and bloody emotional. I LOVE the characters you've forged for James and Lily. They're a beautiful young married couple. Thay've got so many plans, and they're so excited. Then you've got Sirius and Remus who just compliment each other so well as the best friends of the married man. And....oh yeah! The AMAZING scene between Remus and Tonks. It's completely heart-breaking. And yeah, I don't know how Hermione can handle not being able to make things right. But yes. The Remus/Tonks...*dies*
Author's Response: LOL. It still means a lot to me, 'electronicquillster'. ;) Remind me to poke yours. Thanks so much!! *hugs*
I forgot my almost favorite part of the whole thing. Since when does everyone ask who Hermione should be associated with...since Sirius and Remus dated the same girl. She is bloody lucky. I mean, I love Regulus.
Author's Response: Don\'t let Regulus hear you\'re pining for Sirius. >.<
What a great chapter. I can't imagine how completely mental the Peter situation must have been for Hermione. Complaint: too short. ;)
Author's Response: *snicker* I love cliffies, no?
So, one inadequate review coming right up. I can see why this was such a hard chapter for you to write (shipping aside). It was just...aftermath is hard to write, because falling action is always hard, but you've got to deal with big events completely before you can really move on to the next thing. So as a writer, it feels like not much is happening, but you've got to portray to your readers the fact that what does occur is important, and that you feel like it's important, and you did a very good job of that in this chapter. I almost feel like I want more aftermath...well, I could've read more and been just fine. It was interesting to take a step back into Trio Time. You painted the picture of just how tense it must be. I can't even comprehend it, but I started to. I also loved that Harry was waiting for Ron's blessing, and just turn those around and put them in the other role, because I'm just too dang lazy to delete and whatnot, because my laptop is in a precarious position and this is irrelevant so I'm moving on. It's just so funny to read this. I can't read it without my shipping perspectives. I can't. I'm trying, but then I just think, "What was Remus thinking here?" -headdesk- -is too immersed in the modly shipping/rp world- I heart you.
Author's Response: Yes, immersed in the modly shipping world, you are. *shakes head sadly* Thanks, though!! : D
Regulus says ditto to everything I just said.
Author's Response: Uh-huh... *eyes Regulus skeptically*
While I thought this was very well written, I must admit that it didn't really capture me until the end. The paragraph that started with Molly watching her son dance with a girl. That was what finally got me. I liked that Charlie was looking around for Fred and George... Also, in the vows, Fleur used "vous" which is the formal form of you, but I would think that something as intimate as wedding vows might use the informal/intimate "tu" instead. I suppose that since it's a very solemn and serious occasion, it might be just as you have it. *speaks a fair amount of French, but has never been to a French wedding.*
Author's Response: That's an interesting question. The use of vous was deliberate. This is a very formal occasion, and tu would have been too informal. Also, this is going to sound a bit peculiar, but the vows were drawn from the French Canadian translation of the Church of England wedding service. So... there you go. Thanks for the careful review!
Christina dear, I decided I simply couldn't resist reading this when I saw your name on the featured authors list. Your writing was engaging from the first paragraph, which I appreciate more than anything. I can't read a story that doesn't hold onto my attention (I'd rather move along to something else), so I love it when something tugs at me.
She rubbed her arms for warmth and looked up from the book that hadn’t caught her interest...
I love the way that was worded. I actually would split that into two sentences instead of using the semicolon after the word 'interest' because those two thoughts aren't exactly related, so they don't seem to need to be grouped together.
The revelation that Neville's gran had been killed completely shocked me. I honestly read along with my jaw hanging.
A very merry Christmas
That needs a comma after the end. I'd have to say I was just as disappointed as Ginny that the letter wasn't from Harry. I'm going to venture a guess that Arthur wrote this letter, because I'm sure Molly would have had an exceedingly more emotional letter: gushing in the way that dear mothers do.
I loved the way that Ginny just ... Well she just insisted on being the friend that Neville needed. She didn't make a big deal out of any of it, but she did let him know that she was there and that she would help him whether he particularly felt up to being helped or not. Lovely story!
Author's Response: Mar love, thank you for that lovely review. I hadn\'t even noticed that my story was featured (excuse me while I squee *SQUEEEEEEEE*) so my heart skipped a beat when I read it.
Thank you for pointing out the grammatical errors. I\'ll fix them right away.
This was definitely original. It was interresting to read the thoughts of an owl, and I admit, I neglected the two probably just as much as Ron has. Well-written, good job.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review (I don't seem to be getting as many on this site, at least not in proportion to the reads!). I'm so glad to have brought Pigwidgeon's "plight" to someone's attention, and so glad that you have enjoyed it. I have another story coming soon (if it gets through the queue!) called "Buckbeak's Ferret Dinner."
Upon a 17th read (approximately) I thought the opening with Mr. Diggory got a little repetitive. I do suppose though that it's understandable, since it was 2 am. I like the way you're building the relationships between the characters. Since everyone basically knows the storyline, this story could get boring very easily, but I think you're safe from that so far with what you've done. You make me want to know the characters more. It's especially interesting to see how the relationship between Cedric and Cho will develop.
Remember that one time when you wrote this chapter in like...an hour? I remember that time. You came up with the story and had to hurry and write it before you left your connection to the internet. Yeah. That was awesome. I can't wait for the coming chapters. I think the next one is already like 15 times better than this one...but don't worry, I still like this one. It captures the raw confusion that I can imagine Cedric going through at this point.
Author's Response: Remember that one time when you were a freaking awesome roommate? Oh wait... that's a lot. Anyways, thank you, thank you, I appreciate the love and support and countless editing sessions!!! I hope it's worth it. :) You're awesome. Thanks again for all the help.
This was a very interesting read - the first Harry/Luna I've taken a peek at, in fact.I thought that some of the sentiments were nice, but I think this could really use some work. A lot of the sentences were choppy and scattered in their construction. The ideas seemed to just be jammed together, and were inccongruous at times. I think you have set a very good tone, and overall, it was a pleasant read.
Very creative. I did enjoy it. However, you should really work more on your grammar before you add the next chapter; it was a little distracting to be mentally correcting. I agree with some of the other sentiments: McGonagall should DEFINITELY be more intimately writing to Mr and Mrs Potter. I don't think it's "Sincerly" anymore. And the end. That was confusing. Was James reading over all the letters McG sent to his parents? Wasn't explained quite properly.
Author's Response: Okay let me try and explain the end: it is a summary of all the detentions and days added up. I tried to include James's point of view since the rest of the story consists of only McGonagall's. I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear enough. Thanks for the review and constructive criticism.
Can I just say that I'm very excited to read the rest of this story? I love the way that you've characterized Remus. He's so utterly loyal to his friends. I can't wait to read more. Should get very interresting.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. Remus is probably one of the most interesting characters. I love writing him. Maybe I should think of continuing...
(That was submliminal messaging that I think you should continue this 'one-shot'...)
Author's Response: I'm considering conituing the one-shot. Look out for an update sometime...
This is very interesting. I'll admit, point blank, I don't like the idea of Lily/Severus, but this is very well written, and it makes me forget my bias. You've done a very good job putting me into Snape's psyche as a young boy, and I'm anxious to see what happens as the story progresses, especially knowing what happens during Snape's worst memory in OotP.
Author's Response: Thanks! That makes me feel like I got across some of what I was trying to say.
Wow, how heartbreaking. This is such an interesting story, and the situation is so different. I'm interested to see where things go from here.
"She realizes she can't remember who started the first conversation." I loved the whole tone of this little faery-tale. It was so refreshing a style to read. It was free from melodrama, though it was very poignant and serious. The whole thing actually felt like a breeze rolling by. I enjoyed it a lot.