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Lurid [Contact]

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*deletes old about me and bounces in* Hi folks! We're going to do two reps of squats, move onto the bench press, run on over the small step ladders for a minimum of 30 seconds to get those buttocks scrunching, and then we're going to collapse into a desk chair and read!

That's it! One! Two! Three - four! Reeelaaaaaaaxxx!

Vhe are - Dawnie & Steph Aspiring Spice Girls, Princess & Queen of the Typos, Two Top Investigators (and, quite obviously) Skinny pigs and Photobuckeneers.

Oh yeah.

Oh wowee. That was a nice little dumplin of b.s! Or like, interpretive dance in the form of words on a computer screen being blasted across all of the world to make some crazy dog lady drinking tea smile. Or, someone wearing very sexy cowboy boots in a very Salty Lake city grin. Or, it may even be possibly that someone in a very Ily-nnoying state of mind may be reading this. In which case, if you've recovered from the little workout earlier, you'd know I ♥ my sport, particularly the one I'm coordinated at, LJ & PV. Because the others are fun mostly for the laughs I get directed at me when I fall on my sweet little toushe. Although they may not be laughing with me. Hmm.

I'm a Turnip. I atually cooked some the other day, and heard their little plot-bunnies goig up in smoke with a guilty little voice wailing in my mind *cough* But I adore my SPEWlings more than anything, and I love the PIBETA gang more than they know. ♥

+ Winner of the 2006 QSQ – Best Beta
+ Nominated 2006 QSQ – Malicious Intentions – Best Post-Hogwarts Fiction
+ Turnip of the Month – August
+ Order of the Ravenclaw House Elves 3rd Class
+ SPEW reviewer of the month - January

Check out my newest stories, Emerald Tear Drops & Blind Winter.

An Irreplaceable Gift, shiny banner by Hatusu.

All The Same, beautiful banner by Foxy Wolf.

All That Glitters Isn’t Gold, eerie banner by Kal Ho Naa Ho.

Malicious Intentions, wonderful banner by Fly To Dawn.

Currently working on my WIP Malicious Intentions and fighting the urge to bite my fingernails. Maybe I’ll see you around some time, eh?

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Stories by Lurid [17]
Favorite Authors [7]
Favorite Stories [7]
Lurid's Favorites [14]
Reviews by Lurid

Hermione Granger and the Love Potion by hermione4harry

Summary: Parvati makes a love potion, but who is she planning on giving it to? Hermione finds out, but will it be too late? Please read and review, I like to hear how I'm doing!
Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 07/03/05 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four

Nooo!!! Harry might Hate Hermione! No your so evil, and i luv it! I love cliff hangers, love writing them [;-)] luv reading them!!! You could have said somehting like "a change came over his face as he looked at Hermione standing in font of him", and that could have meant either good or bad... but most likely bad... but at least then we would have known!!

Bah, I'm just a mess of ramblings! ~Lurid*

Curse of the Reapers by deanine

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: A different sort of alternate universe... It is a world under the thumb of an ancient emperor. Muggle society has been oppressed beyond recognition. Wizards rule over all, their only laws defined by power. This is the story of a rebellion, a family, a traitor, and the long road that leads home at last.
Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 02/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

*raises the offical Reapers prodding stick and POKES HARD*

I love you. Really I do. And I have some special cream for that bruise, too. >.>

Author's Response: *is poked*

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/27/06 Title: Chapter 2: A Rebel at Heart

I’m about to facepalm. Said it wouldn’t be about errors. Scrolling back up I found this beauty: Their deficiency, separates them from their superiors, Ooops a daisy, spare comma. *ducks the rotten fruit* Oh well. I succumbed to the spell checking powers of Word, so now we’re even :).

Eegad! Albus Dumbledore, second tier wizard? Oh, you’re evil. But then I thought to myself ‘No, I’m not deluded about Albus Dumbledore’s great powers – no. No, the Third Tier has decided he’s too much of a threat to Turpin’… and then I was like. Dude. That guy has a no body with the Turpin name at Hogwarts in canon. This Turpin guy has lots of little kitties that he’s patting and stroking the wrong was on the head. And he’s not paying these kitties enough. And sooner or later, these kitties are going to get themselves veteo’d and be all ‘Fine!’ and they’re going to stamp their feet and run to Dumbledore.

So, no, I’m not deluded about Albus’ powers at all. Not one little bit. He’s pacing himself, hee. And might I add I love the fact Sirius is free, alive, but still a rebel? Because I totally love that about him in this. Sirius's utilitarian soldier's black robes only hinted at the athletic build they covered. You’re mean..

Hee. Lucius is a law abiding cop. And it’s so belittling, because he’s really not that important. He just thinks he is. This chapter is just making me giddy with all the stabs at people!

"Did you say leave, Captain? I could use some liberty" Shelia said. She rose out of her cat crouch and into a sinuous stretch. Could I buy a comma, please? Maybe we should move the one from above down here. Sly bugger, going walk-abouts. And while I’m unwillingly being nitpicky, you’ve said that both James’ and Harry’s hair is/was brown. I suppose you could attribute this to AU, and then you wouldn’t have to shoot daggers at me for being mean :). And maaaaate these chapters are long But you’ve sucked me in. So now I’ll be here until YOU wake up and my sun comes up. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Author's Response: hehehe, my chapters aren\'t long. Jan\'s chapters are long. Thanks for the lovely review dear.

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/27/06 Title: Chapter 3: Orientation

A fundamental truth of existence: all races, sexes, species, and religions are equal. The only true division can be made based on power, Oh, Bridget. Why, thank you for opening such a chapter with a lovely, leveling statement of obvious truths. And now that I’ve slandered the minds of all common and unfortunately present males, I can review the rest of the chapter.

Charlie was guaranteed to send his Mum into a fit of tears and terror and mother-hen protectiveness that could last a month or more. This is particulary reminiscent of the Percy/Molly relationship. So even though he’s not there, there’s still the outlaw of the family to make Molly a lovely little original character without the bustling cookie making OOCness she would adapt without the frequent outbursts of angry tears. Squee for inserting canonishness into AU!

"Now you blondie, touch the stone." I can’t quite describe what I did when I read this. I think ‘cackle’ would describe it nicely, I think. Like,a true cackle at my computer screen. Again, you have been cause of my insanity.

Oh! I had copied and pasted something else onto the Word.doc. But I forgot. OH! Yes, the Ginny/Harry pairing. I want to you to randomly include Luna, because H/G? Pppssh. What’s the use in having a cute little AU without having a non-canon ship? And if you put Ginny into another family, then she and Ronnie could get together. Um. Ewww. And, what happened to Ollivander baby? *copies and pastes the greeting, this time*

The Order of Ravenclaw House Elves.

Author's Response: YES, Harry and Luna forever! But I don\'t think it will happen in this fic.

*Luna Dance*

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/27/06 Title: Chapter 4: I Spy With My Little Eye

It was Dumbeldore's Is it a bird? A plane? NO! It’s Dumbeldore, champion strongman of Hogwarts! *giggles*

She just listened to the children and offered those who were simpatico a connection to the fringe they were looking for. Spanish. Impressive. *nods* And I feel for Minnie here. And it’s quite sad how she remembers something like that so vividly.

Um. Highly embarrassing. I just hit myself on the mouth at the mention of Tom Riddle. Too bloody evil. And how ironic that Harry picked AK, and Tom’s like ‘Yes, well, I’d bee a good little boy if I killed someone mercilessly that could easily have been put into an institution, pummeled full of drugs and then come back and kicked my ass.’ That made no sense to anyone except in my mind.

We need to win this year's intercontinental match because we lost to the Australians last year. Of course they did. We pwn, even at sport that technically doesn’t exist anywhere else but in our mind.

Oh. And he’s still The Evil. Obviously. A bird can’t change his feathers, just because a highly awesome/trained author wants him to appear to have done so.

Author's Response: *nod* Minnie is a sad character. And yes, you Aussies are to be feared. Riddle? Riddle is so the hero. What are you talking about?

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/28/06 Title: Chapter 8: Tripping the Light Fantastic

Shouldn’t you be inside, schmoosing your way to the third tier. I think this should have a ?. *shifty eyes* But I'm off to read the next chapter. It's really not fair how addicted you've made me. And I'm like, a third of the way there. Oh. And the golden serpents *grin* giddy!Dark Mark. And I thought I'd mention that this isn't on Word, either, and that I appreciate the "stuffing his face" comment about Ron. That's what I love about this. The setting is AU, but the characters? Their old lovable selves :).

Author's Response: It should have a question mark. I should fix that. :D Thanks!

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/28/06 Title: Chapter 10: Domestic Bliss

Today, loud girlish shrieking was apparent in the background. Heeeee. I noticed back in the "tea party" chapter that Charlie seemed to be channelling Bill's curse-breaking abilities, and I was dearly hoping that pecy would still be his anal, pedantic self. Thanking you for bringing me delight and reminding me of their names!

Author's Response: :D *loves*

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/28/06 Title: Chapter 14: Acceptable Measures

The evils of internet have denied me this chapter until now. And seeing as the laoptop is being difficult adnwon't bring up Word, you get the evils of typos... you turned Stephanie into a rat? *pout* Oh. You want me to review this chapter?

Well. I think you're being rather sneaky wiht Nyt; I at least know what's coming, even if I missed this chapter. And I'd like to know the significance of the woman on the back of the pendant. I've been reading Potter books long enough to realise that sometimes the small details mean a lot. So, any significance? Or will I find out later?

I'm also interested about Mrs Weasley. The poor dear will be in a good need of food. Those Siberian prisons sound like they're about as pleasent as the Bankok Hilton. And this leads me to thoughts of Azkaban - does this indeed exist, with no Ministry. Turpin (which I just typed as Turnip several times) seems to have rather a nasty dictatorship... and is it leaning towards a facist society? Perhaps a yes or no from this question would help define a better picture in my mind. And now, with trepedation, I head to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hehehe, being a rat is a kind transfiguration on the scale of various transfigurations that will hapen in this fic. <.< :D

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/28/06 Title: Chapter 15: Rat in a Trap

"You have to say," Sirius said. He circled around the desk, throwing Peter back into his seat. He planted a knee in the traitor's groin. "Say what you've done." He applied pressure until Peter began to whimper helplessly. ... GUH. I like this Sirius. I forgot how much I loved him! I LOOOOOOVE the way you stil have those canon details and then you twist them - so that they're exactly the same, but different! And this interrogation brought out Sexy!Sirius. Bridget. Bridget. Squee.

And the Seamus - duh. I so didn't pick up on the hint earlier when Harry said he knew him. Sneaky. Very sneaky. Me dad's a Muggle, mam's a witch. SO clever. You're scary. I have never read another fiction that could potentially sand on it's own away from the Potterverse. It's... remarkable, really. You've won me over completely.

Author's Response: *hugs* Sexy Sirius is fun :) Thanks so much m\'dear.

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 12/28/06 Title: Chapter 17: Fair Trade

Deanie, you're making me cry. Over Severus Snape. Over Lily. And man, do I want to hurt that bleep Lust/Glutton/Greed badly. It calls for a certain word.

But still. The pressing matter. I cry for Severys Snape. Well. Not physically. But you make me want to SO badly. A man so broken, so destitute... I sat there shocked as Remus said that line... and i couldn't believe it. All the emphasis on the armband was tearing me apart. He'd recieved something, bene honoured... and it'd been stripped from him in moments. It's.. inhuman, awful and beastly. No one should... and now you're getting me riled up about the Human Rights treaty - in fanfiction. Oooh, you're good.

As for the Lily issue, the one thing I can that made me grin about it as an afterthought was the fact that she wasn't a bride to be. "How is he going to love/marry me like this?!" So you've earnt my respect for that. And, as with Snape's death, (although I didn't dare scroll up to where he was lying on the bed thingy) I had to read the part about her hair again. Awful, awful, awful. And, you warned me! And I still fell and grazed me knees! I still fell, and still hurt. And there's more, squee! *runs*

Author's Response: YOu hurt yourself? Oh dear. *sends iodine* It was a mean mean chapter. *nods* Peace.

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 03/02/07 Title: Chapter 20: A Watched Pot

The emergence of a colony of radical Quidditch players in Antarctica who live their lives to the beat of that complex game is a recent development.
Can I just start this by saying your choice of countries is just hilarious? Alright, now that that’s been said…

He knew the man behind the scars and the prosthetics now, and Mad Eye Moody didn't scare him anymore.
Ah. Good detail. I love the way writers say intelligent things in order to make themselves sound like a confidante. Like, you could have said behind his scars an the fake leg, but you didn’t. In English, we’re supposed to say what word choice achieves. I’m not sure exactly. It just gives a little of you away, I think. As a writer, and a little bit as a person. Seeing as writing is so personal… and I’m really rambling. I just wanted to say that I like your style a lot.

I’ve never really thought about an Animagus potion. Either that’s your brilliant idea, or it’s on the Lexicon and I’ve been a bad little Potter nerd, and don’t know it. One of the things that amazes me most is the way you bring small details into the story, like this. Even if they’re not canon, you just skim over them lightly, adding the right amount of importance. Because you get those stories and that say briefly, “he went into the cupboard and got this which actually did this, this, and this.” That’s one of the things I like about this. The Red flags in the prison, the potion, the sticky stone, the bog monster curse… they’re all non-canon things, but you just make them seem like we should already know them, so you’re going to leave us in the dust while you just speed on, leaving us in the wake of your brilliance.

See, when I read your chapters things are so connected to the other chapters it’s a little hard to sort of pick out instances that stand out, because they’re like an unfinished scarf. It’s like.. you go to stop, but you just can’t. I mean, I’d love to write a paragraph on every single perspective you go through in this, but one, it would be incredibly long, and two, that would prolong the time it took for me to reach the end. I just… I don’t know how to explain it. Once you begin you can’t stop? Not so much. While this is a good thing it’s not the exact phrase I’m looking for. You just… get sucked in. Which is good, actually. Thank god for clichés. I’m supposed to be commenting on the whole Bart/Melinda scene, but... there’s just so much packed into each part I can’t pull something specific out to comment one once I’m on a roll. It’s all one neat, lovely little package.

Why were his best a brightest going down there to freeze their collective arses off?
Even though this line is quite funny, it doesn’t disguise the mistake. Cough. I believe the phrase is ‘best and brightest’, dear. I like the term collective. Like I said before, I like when you use more intelligent words. Sometimes, to the younger readers I suppose they could be confusing, but I just like the connotations associated with the less used words. *snuggles* And you said arse. Huzzuh for that.

Um, with the tunnel to London – brilliant idea, actually. But, I’m thinking… isn’t the Platform in London? They leave the station at eleven in the morning, and arrive at nighttime, because it’s dark when they arrive. So it’d take an awfully long time to get to London. They’d spend the whole day walking, if not longer, and then they’d have to walk back without actually doing anything. And someone told me that Hogwarts is actually… in Scotland? I’m not too great at geography, but maybe someone who actually knows this for definite, or lives there might be able to help you out… or catch you out :D.

And you know Bridget dear, that we will never hate you for your work. Because, quite obviously, you’ve already turned me into a rat and faced the worst of my wrath, haven’t you?

Author's Response: Hey! It\'s kinda funny that you pick out words in the composition and say, sophisticated, when I\'m more used to people commenting on the simplicity of the prose style. As for the tunnel thingie. It first appeared way earlier in the fic, a secret exit from the school through an enchanted tunnel. This isn\'t Hogwarts and I haven\'t hinted where the school is actually located as of yet. But no, it isn\'t close enough for a real tunnel to be a reasonable transit mechanism. But as it\'s enchanted, the walk takes around 5 minutes. :D It\'s nice to have a SPEWer reading your fic. *hugs* Thanks dear!


Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 06/02/05 Title: None

I feel your pain, I honestly do! I once was a little unknown writer until a kind review on someone's story opened alot of opportunities for me. She had *connections* =D Try posting on other people's stories an kindly ask them to lend you a hand by promoting you story or leaving some nice reviews or even some constructive critisism. Like CraftSlytherin said (who is also a favourite of mine) apart from the typos in the first chapter i think it's a good plot line and has really good promise. Keep going at the chapters, sooner or later you'll get it through! If you have alot of chapters you need to be beta-d I'm always free during the Aussie hours of about 5 and 8 or anytime, I will get back to you! JUst contact me if you're interested =-) ~Lurid

Author's Response: Ok I'll think about it. Chapter 2 is already submitted and I'm waiting on it to be approved. I'm working on Chapter 3 right now. Thanks for reviewing and I'll consider your advice.

Barbie Girl by CraftySlytherin

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It's just your average, boring Summer day on Privet Drive. Or is it? Harry is stuck doing another one of his many thankless chores, when he hears something VERY interesting coming from Dudley's room and goes to investigate.
Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 02/16/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Oh.. my.. no... *pants* halrious, Crafty. Been a while! I really must get updated on your story, it's been such a long time since i read it.

Reading this for the second time was just.. so totally right. I don't knwo how i would have conqured the boredom of this Thursday afternoon without it, lol.

Crafty equals love. I was starting to annoy my sister wiht all the lauhging at the "lets walk to dinner dso i can see your muscles ripple" bit. I heart this humor fic.~10


Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 06/16/05 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

I didn't know what story to review so i thought I'd try and review them all. It 7:30 at night so I might not get to the long one, but watch this space... "Hey, Big D, is that a Barbie in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" I almost pissed my pants laughing! I wouldn't be surprised if this becomes a Featured story... how does that happen anyway? gotta tell you, I'm gonna go find my aqua CD and take a listen, then hit puree and use BidD's Lyrics! See you on the next story *waves and ducks outta frame* Better reply to this one! =-)

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm so glad you did :) I'm not sure how a story gets to be Featured, it would be great to have your story put there though, don't you think? I have Aqua's cd too, I think I've listened to Barbie Girl at least a million times :) Please be careful when using your blender, they can be a bit tricky sometimes :)

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 06/16/05 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

BTW, which cheeks were you talking about when he was jumping on the bed? =-D

Author's Response: Probably both sets, don't you think? Teeheehee :)

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 06/16/05 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

I didn't know what story to review so i thought I'd try and review them all. It 7:30 at night so I might not get to the long one, but watch this space... "Hey, Big D, is that a Barbie in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" I almost pissed my pants laughing! I wouldn't be surprised if this becomes a Featured story... how does that happen anyway? gotta tell you, I'm gonna go find my aqua CD and take a listen, then hit puree and use BidD's Lyrics! See you on the next story *waves and ducks outta frame* Better reply to this one! =-)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! *same stuff I said on the last review like this one* Don't you hate it when you're submitting a review and the same one pops up twice? Don't worry though, it happens to all of us. I don't think it's as annoying as being logged out fifty times while trying to do stuff on here though! Stupid log in glitch!!!

Sins of the Father by TheVault

Rated: Professors •
Summary: There was something about him that made him irresistible to her. Siobhan Murphy will go to any lengths to ascertain her deepest desires - but when the object of those desires is a married man twice her age with secrets darker than she can imagine, she will find herself caught in a scandalous liaison that she can't walk away from. Not Canon-Compliant.
Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 08/02/07 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Up Against A Wall

*nods and keeps going*

One word.


Or, two. Yay.

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 08/01/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Of a Stranger

I have to say I really like the way you belittle Draco. That said, I like Siobhan more for thinking that way. And now, with less (and less) of an introduction as the time goes by, I have some questions.

Maybe it’s the cold that’s making me slow, but I’m a little confused by this - All other students, fifth year and above, only — must have owls sent to their parents concerning the matter. - Aren’t third-year and above allowed into Hogsmede? Probably just my misunderstanding.

With the death of Petunia, I’m not sure whether it was made clear in Ootp or HBP that by protecting Harry, they themselves were protected. I know it was definitely made certain in DH (no spoilers, I promise) but I was just wondering, because if the murder was on the 30th, they would have had to have angered Harry, right? Or maybe I’m reading it wrong, and she was murdered on the 31st. I do expect to find small inconsistencies, because of the pre-book status, but you know… was just wondering :)

And I am interested in Siobhan’s life. And I started thinking about what Malfoy had murdered whom… and then I realised that any relationship with either of the Mister Malfoys would then be incestuous. Which wouldn’t means much to Draco… but I thought Siobhan was smarter than that. And then I realised I’m not. Go figure :D.

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 08/01/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Something of Interest

So, I’m a huge fan on very distinctly canon!style writing. Probably because my own attempts are so far removed from JKR’s particular style. I do think you have your own style, but it’s a good change from the usual, “So this is the random protagonist I’m inserting for the love of it. And by the way she’s cool m’kay”. So huzzuh for believable characters.

"Sorry," Siobhan shrugged uncaringly before sitting down.
McGonagall stared at her.

I’m always hesitant to criticise when I’m not perfect myself, but maybe the second sentence should be attached to the first, instead of being a new paragraph. I think that works better than before the dialogue, because to me, there’s something about reprimanding!McGonagall that always requires a new line for dialogue.

"What are you all chatting about?" … Draco had in store for her that evening.
And again, there needs to be paragraphing. I deleted the guts of it for space purposes, but it’s right before the break before the paragraph on Draco’s inexpertness. Because I know you probably took great delight in writing that and would know where it is >.>.

Speaking of which, I love your not so casual hints about his lack of skill. This - and she felt his already open mouth collide with the bottom half of her face. - would have to be the best one, though.

Lucius sure as hell better be worth this. Interesting. Leaves me wondering whether or not she means in her dreams, while with Draco, or whether she’s actually going to be with Lucius. And now I have to reboot my computer to continue enjoying this!

And by enjoying, I mean, deleting the other review, submitting this one, and saving your page :).

Reviewer: Lurid Signed
Date: 07/31/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Dangerous Attraction

Alright, I finally got around to it. And, I know I won’t be stopping anytime soon. Only parents or something equally as persistant will keep me away. (it turned out to be two days of cold, btw)

Can I just say first that Siobhan has amusing thoughts? Not only because of the way she thinks about him, but because of the way she sees Narcissa through her eyes. And this, undoubtedly, is a Pre-HBP Lucius. Which is always preferred, in my mind, in light of the new book. But yes, I definitely like Siobhan already (I’m getting used to pronouncing her name correctly in my head) and can already sense the type of relationship they’re out for. Which has nothing to do with the other Magnificent story I’ve read on a certain community. Not at all.

I do find it interesting that she refers to herself as a girl, though. I think she’s a lot older than 17, the fact she’s considering herself to be old enough to go after a man 25 her elder goes without saying. And, the mind games she plays with Draco aren’t that of a silly 17 year old girl… somehow, even if not physically, she’s very experienced.

“Well, Miss. Murphy — each of us had a parent or guardian murdered last week, do you mind us having a little chat about it?”

That line was probably the only thing that really stuck out for me. The rest of it was pretty smooth, but the line is a little harsh. I know Ginny has a bristly side that comes out as a shield, but I would expect her to be a little more subtle about it.

And that’s about it. Huzzuh for finally starting to read this!