Hey, I'm Rob and I've been a member of this site for a while but i keep forgetting my various passwords so I have to keep making new accounts
I was rereading some things and i came across an interesting suggestion I thought i might well... suggest. Try and characterize the emotions of your characters a little more thoroughly, because while im reading, sometimes I think to myself: "Wait? was james joking when he did/said this? cuz it sure seemed so... but then why is lily mad at him? huh..." im really loving the plot, but i was a LITTLE disappointed that it took so long to have a fluff chapter. i think the first one was like on chapter 27 or so... somewhere around there. I dont know much about how you like to write not based on this story, but i think that you should have a chapter of fluff every 6-8 chapters or so, to give your readers a little breat from the action, ya know? i thought the fluff you had in there executed what i suggested brilliantly, just try and do it a little more often. keep up the good work.
ps im getting my second chapter ready for submission, and thanks a lot for reviewing to my story, i was so happy i even put a suggestion to ready your story in my authors notes at the end of chapter one... i know im a loser. haha im gonna be a junior but i still act like a freshman at times... well, i think ive wasted enough of your time.
Author's Response: Hmm...not quite sure what you mean by \"characterizing emotions\". What situation did you wonder at most? There are sometimes when James acts sarcastic... *giggles* Sorry, I just can\'t quite get over the fact that I guy is telling me to add more fluff in. Hehe. I guess that\'s what having a girl friend does for ya, huh? X\'D. There was a stretch of pretty sad stuff, wasn\'t there? Quite a few people have commented about that. :-( Not everything can be sunshine and diasies though. Thank God, that would be a bit too... seventies. *shudder* But, I\'m glad that you liked the fluff that was there. *is happy* Second chapter!? Yay! Your story is on my favorites list, so i should be told when it\'s up. And you put a suggestion on you story!? I feel so special!!! *fuzy feeling* And there\'s nothign wrong with acting like a freshman at times; I\'m going to be a junior too and I still act like a freshie at times... Random times. :-)
is this chapter up or what? lol it won't let me on but it sez its up
Author's Response: No, silly! It\'s not up yet. I just uploaded it today...not that you didn\'t know that already. :-)
i get confused sometimes because it seems like someone is joking around, and then someone sort of flips out on them, it's not that big of a problem either, mainly in the early chapters... hmmm... an example. okay, when sirius asks stacey about her name... she FREAKS on him... i was sitting there and i was thinking, man, even if my last name was assmonkey i wouldnt flip out that bad... excuse me for the language but i think assmonkey is the greatest word ever. and to the fluff part, im not the huge fluff fan i dug myself into, but i like in some stories they draw the tension away, like you said. and 2nd, you have very good fluff. its not sappy at all, and i love it. Ive been getting annoyed with the story life happens by colorofangels lately because, however great the first 25 or so chapters, he/she (i think its a she, but i havent looked at the profile in a while) has put nothing but fluff in, and what a good author needs is a balance. and haha to the comment about my girlfriend, yeah shes a sweetheart, but ive always been a sucker for romance. lol i didnt even hate the prince and me OR a cinderella story, but i WILL NOT watch the notebook ever again. dont rip my head off please. ps no i am not whipped either lmao.
keep it up,
Rob "Torpedo Joe" S%@#$!!#
(I dont think im allowed to put my last name up... effin myspace pedophiles messin it all up for everyone!)
Author's Response: Yeah; nothing but fluff; no fun. Ack. Like Cotton Candy. Little\'s yummy, alot is not good. At all. Ack. And just for everyone else who\'s interested in how I respond to my reveiws: I don\'t like the Notebook that much. It was good, but not that great. Romantic, but lacking in something. The Prince and Me was cute, and Cinderella story wasn\'t bad at all. Emily \'LaneTechFreshie\' *_*_*_* X\"D
okay you know what? i love this story and i cant stop reading it. and in an earlier (WAY earlier) chapter, you wondered if there were any guys that read the stories of romance, and i am a guy, and i dunno about the rest of our population, but i am a sucker for the romance... and i am heterosexual, and have a girlfriend... i dont really know how everyone handles stereotypes so i thought id add that in... well anyways, im actually writing a romance (h/g) called you have me still because im breathing... ive only got one chapter up bu thats how all great stories start right? well if you could take a look id be honored.
Author's Response: Huh...I was just editing the story again and I noticed that A/N- I too am honored that you took the time to review. And that you read it. Thank you very much. It\'s nice to know that I\'ve got a guy out there reading. X\'D And before I sign off... I\'ll got check out that ever popular and ever important first chapter!
wow, sorry it took me so freaking long to post a comment, but Ive been in Colorado for the past week and havnt had much time. I finally got #2 finished but wouldnt ya know it: the queue is closed. ah well, the best things in life are worth waiting for i guess. anyways, great chapter.
Author's Response: Hahaha. Lucky you. I would LOVE to go to Colorado. My sis is going later this week. Argh. Anyway- the queue is open for one more day... Get it in quick! But i agree; the best things in life are worth waiting for. :-)
verry verry good! i like it. not so sure about montana though.i woud have picked denver colorado or north carolina or even chattanooga tennessee, but no doubt you have your reasons. good work, im working out the kinks in my 2nd chapter, so look for it soon... although im going to minneasota for a couple weeks this sat.thru like july 10 so ill bback for the 5th movie... cheers til then, thanks for the mention.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I choose Montana because I knew it was gorgeous. CO, NC or TN don\'t sound terrible at all! I just... prefered Montana for some reason. :-) Minnesota. Fun. I will look out for that chapter. :-)
okay so to anyone reading these reviews, ive made a few formattind changes and a couple very minor text changes.
Author's Response: why am i responding? because i respond to all my reviews!
Author's Response: should I really be responding to my own review... especially if its one word? whatever.