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Loki's Amulet by Air Elemental

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: When Fred and George find Loki's amulet, they have no idea what chaos they would unleash into the world... Now Ginny is unconscious and only Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville can save her, but only if they complete Loki's tasks. -- A humour/action/adventure story. Slight Ron/Hermione and Ginny/Neville. -- After almost two years of floundering, Chapter 8 is FINALLY up! -- Won 2ND PLACE in Quarterly Challange the First: History and Mythology!
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 3: In which Fred and George make a deal

I love your imagery in this chapter. You describe the opening scene very well, and your description of Loki made me smile!

What a wicked amount of trouble the twins have gotten into? I hope this won't turn out badly!

Anyway, I really like the conversation that Fred/George have about dangerous adventures. It's just like them to think a cave in Scandinavia isn't dangerous. Haha.

Finally, I can't wait to see what that mysterious woman with the note in Bergen was all about!

Nice chapter!


Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 4: In which the first challange is completed

You have a ton of teensy errors in this story, love. Levitation should be capitalized, and there are a few misplaced or missing commas. ;)

I really liked the way you pulled the Trio back into the story - and it's CLASSIC how, of course, they go to "rescue" the twins. >.>

But I had one or two nitpicks. First, Hermione wouldn't let them run through ANY doors without making sure everything was safe first. Regardless of who was trying to stop the gang.

And second, Neville seems a bit too timid even for him. >.> But if that's the way you interpret him, I'm happy. It's not OOC, just not my personal thoughts of him.

Great chapter! The plot keeps building...

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 5: In which rocks and berries feature greatly

Oh my. This was the best chapter yet. Your dialogue really is your strength. You do it wonderfully, and reveal a lot of characterization in that manner. Of course, Ron offers Harry his shoes. Of course, Hermione knows it's a Hinkypunk. :)

I really liked how Loki appeared and also, how the Trio dealt with this challenge of swamps and moving earth.

I can't wait to see how they deal with the next challenge.


Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 6: In which some Death Eaters appear

Wow. Rookwood is still walking around? The OC you introduced drugged them?

There's so much going on! Is Loki really behind all of it? O.o

Well, what more can I say? You have me utterly hooked as to what will happen next! I love your rhymes in particular - their rhythm and structure are great, and they're so intriguing!

Also, I really like your portrayal of the librarian. Your description of her appearance and the way she defends her library was touching. I think it would have been uber-cool had it been Madam Pince, because then we could have seen her character in a more positive light.

So, great chapter!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 7: In which fire and water both feature

This. Is. The. Last. Chapter.

HOW COULD YOU? You left us with Neville being proud, and an opening in the rock. *gasp*

Alright. First of all, I like your characterization of Loki. For all his smarts, he's too full of himself to realize that a goat (even if it IS Fred) outwitted him and stole the map to his fortess!

You again have some comma issues, and I see a few run-ons as well. I hope you get a beta for this and clean it up a bit!

Captivating story - I hope you continue it!


Author's Response: Wow Kumy, you reviewed all the chapters! I\'m impressed! I\'m not surprised chapter one has a few grammar problems, since I wrote it last year... ahh, so long ago... so I suppose this fic is like \"The Writing Progress of Air Elemental.\" Thanks loads for the con-crit! As for a beta, I might get one for future chapters, since my grasp of canon has gotten a bit shaky. Thanks for the review, and never fear readers! Loki\'s Amulet shall continue! :)

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/17/07 Title: Chapter 1: In which the amulet is first discovered

I am so glad I found this story. I'm thinking about using Loki for my challenge entry in the January MCs, so this is perfect!

And of course the Trickster God paired with the Weasley twins. Could there be any other option? :p

The Filch-with-a-bra bit was witty and really made me laugh. You've brought out the mischief and humor well.

I love the dialogue between the twins that you have. It flows rapidly and the twins know what each other are getting at, which is characteristic of them in canon, too. :)

However, I noticed several mechanical errors. I suggest a beta in the future, perhaps.

“Stay here,” snapped Filch, “don’t move!” Period instead of comma after Filch, and capitalize 'don't'.

“OK,” said George, “that was-“ Okay instead of OK. ;)

“A Hundred points from…” was all that could be heard from Snape before the water cascaded in. Hundred shouldn't be capitalized.

There are a few more, but nothing major. Still, you may want to look over this chapter.

Looking forward to the next1 Yay for Loki!


Hemorrhoids or Gemstones? by Piper Alexis

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Draco steals something from Professor McGonagall and in hiding it, finds himself in a very interesting predicament. One-shot
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 07/06/06 Title: Chapter 1: Hemorrhoids or Gemstones?

I liked this story because Crabbe was such a fool. Draco would use him in this sort of way - that was classic.

I have trouble seeing McGonagall leaving a stone out in the open. She's not a Potions professor, so she wouldn't need a moonstone or a bezoar.

I think it should have been a different object that fit McGonagall's character better.

Still, it was hilarious! I loved it! Great job!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review Kumy! Really, the gemstone had no meaning other than McGonagall just liked it. Maybe someone gave it to her or it had sentimental value. I guess I should have added that in there, huh? Anyway, I appreciate you taking the time to read it!

A Flash of Scarlet by Vindictus Viridian

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: This is a retelling of Harry's second Quidditch game from a very different point of view.
The manoeuvre that had sent this broom a few feet to the left would have put his old one into a wild loop -- in gaining manageability, Cleansweep had lost all the pepper. That loop would have made him hard to hit and given him a good view of the whole field. Knowing he couldn't do it now made him feel horribly vulnerable out here, and he doubted again whether he shouldn't have stayed in the stands -- or, better yet, indoors.
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 06/01/09 Title: Chapter 1: -----

Wow, this was such an interesting story, Erika. I've never read a story written about this particular moment in canon--and no one usually focuses on anything related to Quirrell; he's a forgotten villain in fanfiction! So kudos for being creative in the plot...it makes the story very special.

I particularly liked that Severus recollects promises that he made. I feel, from the Unbreakable vow to the promises you mention in your story, vows make up such a large component of Severus' actions and you bring that home in your story.

You just have such a great grasp of Snape's character--the scathing commentary on Potter's performance, the loathing of the broom, the grim accomplishment of duty--it's all there.

Hee. Every time I read one of your stories, I am inspired to keep working harder on my own. I can't think of a better compliment to give you!

Thanks for the wonderful read.

Author's Response: Aw, shucks! This was the first fanfic I posted, while still deep in the writing of In The Eyes Of Others, and it's still a thrill to get a review on it. You know, more people should write about Quirrell. He's really quite a promising character to play with, partly because we know so little of him. Thanks!

Author's Response: Aw, shucks! This was the first fanfic I posted, while still deep in the writing of In The Eyes Of Others, and it's still a thrill to get a review on it. You know, more people should write about Quirrell. He's really quite a promising character to play with, partly because we know so little of him. Thanks!

One Last Tender Lie by GringottsVault711

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Siobhan revisits her past, in his prison cell. Companion shot to 'Year Seven: Harry Potter & The Blood Debt', Pre-HBP Warning: This story contains a pairing between a young woman and a significantly older man. If this isn't your cup of tea, I'd advise staying away.
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 03/17/07 Title: Chapter 1: One Last Tender Lie

Oh, oh, OH. *shudders* How horrifyingly lovely! I make no sense. Well, let me begin at the start. It's wonderful that you show her nerves, her anxiety, her insecurity, her vulnerability at the very start. If I recollect correctly during the chaptered story, Siobhan, in the beginning chapters, was very tough. I think that the tough exterior sheltered these vulnerabilities and it was refreshing to see them so openly displayed.

At the same time, Siobhan has lost none of her fire. I loved the interaction between the two in the prison cell - their dynamic has always been so interesting. Reminds me of Draco/Ginny, actually. :)

I think the most lovely part of this, though, was the growth we see in Siobhan. He pulls her close, and she doesn't let her feelings take over. She steps back, not utterly rational but still strong, and stands for what she wants. This, I think, shows her journey from the beginning - and it also shows how well she knows Lucius Malfoy now. That very knowledge keeps her loving him but also keeps her from staying with him. It's quite a tragical paradox.

Finally, the idea of Gringotts becoming the next prison is really clever and quite cool. I really, really liked it!

Wonderful, Jenna. Can we ever expect anything else from you? :P


Things Best Forgotten by Madame Marauder

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Best friends don't kiss. Severus Snape breaks this rule on account of a bet and learns a lesson. Snape/OC. Thank you so much, Ravensgryff, my Beta. Without your revision and guidance, I doubt I would have gotten very far.
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 11/13/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Poor Severus! :( So, since I am reviewing this due to Transfiguration and that's about OCs, I'll concentrate on Kathryn.

First, I must say, I absolutely adore her. She practically jumps off the page. She's so vibrant and full of life, and simply adorable.

If I didn't know you were trying to make her Slytherin-y, I would have been absolutely enchanted. In fact, I still am with her.

The only problem is that it didn't turn out the way you wanted. But you know what? That's okay! And you know why? Because it works with this story!

I say...consider this story a success, and try a new OC with the planned characterization that you had for Kathryn. I mean, OCs can take a life of their own, and that's alright.

Beautiful characterization, albeit different from what you intended. I absolutely loved her.

The story wouldn't have worked without that particular characterization the way you wrote it. Her more bubbly personality set off Snape's very well.


Author's Response: Well, the more I think about it, the more I think that her personality can be both bubbly and Slytherin-y. I said, back in class, that she\'s multi-faced... She, like Draco and Snape, puts on a different \"mask\" so to speak when in the company of purebloods. When she\'s at school, she can be laid-back and such. Hmm... that gives me an idea. Thank you so much for your lovely review, Kumy! You got me thinking. I mean, really thinking.

Dear Dumby by Oppungo

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: What happens when Dumbledore has his latest "brilliant" idea, to start an advice column, and call it 'Dear Dumby'? Letters from some of our favourite Hogwarts students, some of our not so favourite Hogwarts students, some not even Hogwarts students at all, and, of course, lots of madness!

Pre-HBP for obvious reasons!
Nominee for the Best Humour Award in the Quicksilver Quill Awards! Many thanks to all who voted for it!
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 07/17/06 Title: Chapter 2: Dear Dumby - Issue 1

I'm very impressed. You use so many different forms of humor from exaggeration to underplay, and they're all hilarious!!! Your characterization is spot-on and that makes the story honestly funny, which isn't a talent many authors have. I ADORE the nicknames for each mysterious letter-writer, and Dumbledore is delightfully quirky.

He (Dumby), out of all the characters, may be a tad OOC...just a note.

Otherwise, fabulous work!!!


Author's Response: Thank you Kumy! I\'m really pleased you\'re enjoying this - I\'m enjoying WWW too, just for the record! Now we know all the fancy names for the things we write! =p I\'m really glad that you think this truly funny, as you have high standards! Yes, I really get a kick out of inventing \'ingenius\' code names for the characters - to be honest, I prefer their versions of pseudonyms then the ones in the actual magazines - much more inventive! But not quite so subtle...! Yes, Dumbledore can be a bit OoC, but I have tried to work on that throughout, so hopefully it has improved a tad in later chapters - but I\'ll definitely watch out for out in future fics. Thanks for the review hun!

A Stab At Where The Heart Should Be by rita_skeeter

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. Herman Hesse

A saviour in a desolate place; redemption given to a former enemy. For beauty shines through the darkest despair...

This story has undergone major editing.
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/10/06 Title: Chapter 1: Is This What They Call Life?

okay, the rest of the chapter. I liked the "mere Muggle" part, very Draco-ish. Again, the contradiction: D/Hr (muggle) yet the idea of Muggle inferiority. I noticed you start a lot of sentences with "And," and it begins to distract me after a while. Personal thing. Aah, yes, noticed another thing about the "run and kiss her" line: you mention it was at Hogwarts. Now I assume you mean seventh year (because sixth year D/Hr really would be OOC)...still one would not think to see such a dramatic change (hating her to lusting/stalking her). I don't know...you say you explain it later, but to me it's such an important thing, it needs to be explained now. Anyways...I'll be back for the next chapters. :)

Author's Response: As I brushed upon before, Draco generally doesn't like most 'Mudbloods'/Muggles, which explains the 'mere Muggle' bit, but Hermione is different, because she's so special in his eyes, so he gives in to his emotions just in her case. Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/16/06 Title: Chapter 2: Fate Leads To Mysterious Places

Hey, I'm back. Chapter 2. Your descriptions and lines are excellent. Poetic, really. I love the imagery. Everything was great in this chapter. I'm still waiting for the 'how Draco fell in love with Hermione' bit, but I hope it will come. Melodrama can be overused, and I think that Draco is a bit overdramatic in this chapter. Despair is good, but overdoing it numbs the effect. The whole coffee bit about it hitting the tongue and what-not was very descriptive, but I'm not sure how it affects the story. The waitress bit was awesome and well-thought-out. In dialogue, just a note. Draco has, in canon, traditionally been sharp and cutting with his words. I realise he loves Hermione (how???) but he seems sort of weak in his speech. It's just a note, not something to fix, but a note. On to the next! :)

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/16/06 Title: Chapter 3: Darling, Can't You Hear Me?

What happened to his legendary pride? Draco, to me, would never openly admit he has made a mistake. After all, Draco sees Dumbledore and his death, yet he still refuses to admit he's in over his head. Your Draco seems to be very vulnerable and weak in a way, and that's all well and good. The things he has done, and the years (?) of thinking about it may very well have weakened him. Yet, you still bring back the old Draco in the lines about barriers of pride. Draco would not insist that he is not worthy; at this point his pride is the only thing holding him together. And, we are still missing the transition from old Draco to melodramatic, vulnerable, stuttering (now that's a bit unbelievable) Draco. Hermione is very in character. Her wanting to help, strawberry blush, nervous smile all ring very true. There was one line that hit me as strange: "We are lost in each other’s gaze, until she breaks the connection by seating herself opposite me numbly." Is it possible to sit numbly? remember, numbly is an adverb. :) On to the next chapter!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/16/06 Title: Chapter 4: Forever's Gonna Start Tonight

very, very, very melodramatic. that sums it up. first, again, I can't see draco stuttering, not the way you've developed him with pride and vulnerability all at once. the only reason I can think of is that hermione somehow throws him off-kilter, and if so, that needs to be explained. Why does she have such an effect on him? out of all the witches there are: why not Ginny, or Luna, or Parvati, or Fleur or anyone else? Why Hermione? Second, I think the content in this chapter needs development. we need to see the transition from bold cunning draco of HBP to the vulnerable draco broken by the screams within his head and guilt. third, he has never been close to bellatrix, it mentions in canon. in trade for his own life I doubt Draco would regret killing her as much as you make him do so. Fourth, you never explained why hermione would be so open towards him...he is an ex-Death Eater after all, and he destroyed Hogwarts (presumably) in the sixth book. On to the next chapter!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/16/06 Title: Chapter 5: Only Love in the Dark

loved the last line. i liked the leaving part. to me, (i'm an angst lover) it would have been better if he left, but I suppose shippers will love this ending. a few more things: draco is very good in this chapter. Do Draco and Hermione have a history together? You make it seem like they do. If they do, I think a separate chapter or at least interspersed memories should tell their tale, because it's important to his redemption. Did he hurt her as well, could that be why she would redeem him and not perhaps, his mother (bellatrix's sister) or harry (dumbledore's student)? You know, people close to the people he hurt? Liked the countdown and the kiss, it works with the whole new year's theme. overall pretty good story. :) nice read.

Author's Response: Thanks very much. I almost did end the fic with Draco leaving, but my Beta said that I should end on a happy note, so I went back to my initial plan. If you are interested in reading the alternate ending, I may post it up as a one-shot in the Dark/Angsty section. Thanks for all the reviews!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 01/10/06 Title: Chapter 1: Is This What They Call Life?

So, this is chapter one review. First thing I noticed was a grammar mistake: "How is it that every day I see rejoicing"...that should not be a verb. I can't think of the noun version of rejoice, but that should be fixed. Second thing, "I struggle to keep an indifferent expression on my face when all I want to do is run up and kiss her." I've been trying to write a character study of Draco, and this is something I've been struggling with. Draco would not admit, even to himself, I think that he is in love with a "Mudblood." Now, you may say that Draco was changed with the war, which is all fabulous, AS LONG AS YOU INCLUDE THE BACKSTORY. The idea is to make a non-shipper believe in the ship. What you need is more backstory: how did Draco go from hating her up til sixth year, to falling in love with her? It's such a remarkable transition that it needs a LOT of description and a logical reason that Draco would even think about the possibility of changing his mind: after all, he felt this way for 16 years, at least. Why did he change? Third, Draco, like all Slytherins, is hell-bent on surviving. Therefore the woeful, "It kills me so," seems OOC to me. I feel like though he is given to self-pity, Draco does not allow weakness in himself. Again, either explain it or cut it out. Survival is the most important thing for a Slytherin, and an inherent trait of Draco's. Make sure you keep that in mind. Dejected Draco doesn't really work in my mind. When there's a Slytherin, there's a way. You know? I have more...but I will add it later. Computer class is over, and I have to get off the Internet...I'll be back! :) P.S. I did like it. Just I get my criticism done first. Heck, I don't even bother with a review if I don't like the fiction, so...*blushes* Anyways, I'll finish later.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, and I hope you enjoy the next chapters. Now, onto your points: First of all, I checked with a reliable source about the 'rejoicing' phrase, and she says it's correct - so that's sorted. The Draco issues are more difficult to deal with - I'm leaning quite heavily on what he's been through in the war (the full story of that is in Ch.4) as an explanation for his change of character. As for Hermione, I think it's plausible to say that he may have thought he should hate all 'Mudbloods', but that there was something attractive about Hermione that he could deny or overcome, so he learnt to hide it away. Until, that is, when he meets her in later life...well, that's my reason for it - you may not agree. Anyway, I'm happy that you liked it enough to review! Thank you!

Resolution by Vindictus Viridian

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: "You did not come here to play chess."
On New Year's Eve, Minerva McGonagall finds herself without the usual distractions of students and staff. She decides there is only one way to solve the puzzle before her, and that she will have to take a rather large chance.
This was a submission for the Redemption Challenge and contains huge howling unavoidable HBP spoilers.
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 07/22/06 Title: Chapter 1: Resolution

Just a note: This review will be shockingly sweet. Actually, I don't believe I criticized one thing. If I make you a bit sick from overdosing on sugar, my apologies. :p

Your characterization of Snape is brilliant. I've never dwelled much on him - he is just too much of a mystery for my simple mind to comprehend, but you've interpreted him beautifuly.

You use dialogue, actions, and description to artfully portray him. Certain lines just clinch the character for me.

Your description of his physical appearance, or rather, his facial expressions, provides the first insight into his character.

The other was that his glare was the closest thing he had to a friendly expression, and that if he truly minded losing pieces he would have sneered.

Severus grinned, showing an unexpected flash of his seventeen-year-old self, and stood from the game, facing the fire.

Both of these lines show through the facial expressions different sides of Severus. The first lines show a side we all know - his reserved, even solitary nature. The second line shows how he has changed over the years, and proves that he was not always the cynical, guarded man he is today. In fact, it shows a side that we have never seen in canon, and yet that side adds so much to the conflict of his character.

"How many ways could you attack me from that position?"

He tensed momentarily, then allowed the ghost of a smile. "Four. Rather fewer than the previous position, you must admit."

This dialogue shows his character perfectly. He is, on the surface, surrendering, but inside he fights on as valiantly as he can - despite the fact that he will most likely lose, anyway. It also shows his feral, dangerous, trapped side - the side that has lost most hope and will go to desperate measures to achieve its means.

She quelled her astonishment. “Good night, Severus. May the new year bring you what you desire.”

His expression was blank. “It cannot. I would settle for vengeance.”

This dialogue, again, shows Snape's utter desperation - and yet, continuing battle for what he wants in life. He retains some modicum of spirit. Whether it is brought on by desperation, or simply an inherent trait, I do not know, but you show us this spirit very well.

The wand moved and disappeared; she could not say for certain whether it had gone into his pocket or up his sleeve.

This action reminds the readers that though Snape has not killed Minerva, he still could - that he is very dangerous.

You manage to balance the danger in Snape with the righteous, spirited side of him, and that is what truly brings out his character in this piece.

"Hope -- that when the Dark Lord at last faces his enemy, I will again be worthy to stand by his side. And that my master -- " He snarled the word. " -- will find it difficult to focus his attention with a potion-maker's silver knife between his ribs."

Though this is dialogue, I like to think of it more as a revelation to Snape's thoughts. This insight into Snape's true agenda really brings out his characterization because it shows you that he is, in the end, both condemned to the Dark Side, and ever loyal to the Order.

It brings out the conflict that Snape has always felt between what he wants and what he needs to do.

Throughout the piece, you also use Minerva's reactions to gauge Severus. She shivers when he speaks of never returning - this shows the dark side of the man. She quells her astonishment when he kisses her hand - this shows that you can never predict what he will do.

The character of Severus Snape is an enigma, but you search through the darkened corners to reveal the man - the conflict - that he truly embodies.

Masterful piece, VV. Thank you for sharing it with us.


Author's Response: Woah. Big review. Thanks! I\'m glad you enjoyed the story, and that you said so here as well as in the forums. And now I have to send you delving into the rest of my stories to see where I really think his loyalties lie -- not the Order, exactly, but certainly not with the Dark Lord. \"Four\" was also a reference to his original training in the art of defence: the Marauders, who didn\'t necessarily let him into normal combat positions when they pounced. Minerva remembers the Half Blood Prince, though not by that name, as the person who kept her life, and others, discreetly colourful for seven years. Now all his colour has blurred into black.

Patches of Light by annie

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It was the week before Christmas, and Hogwarts had never been so sombre. Yet somehow, one young man still manages to find comfort and solace in the unlikeliest of places.

Written for the Winter Snows Holiday Challenge Three: A Kiss for the Ages by Annie of Gryffindor.
Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 06/27/06 Title: Chapter 1: Patches of Light

You pulled off Luna and Neville very well. Their interaction and your description was very nice. However, I don't see how Luna would be able to find Neville - she can't just somehow know where he is. Besides that small point, great work!



Reviewer: kumydabookworm Signed
Date: 06/27/06 Title: None

I loved the interaction between Narcissa and Severus. You mix cutting remarks, formalities and endearments (well, as much as you can get from Severus Snape, that is) in an enchanting mix.

I do love the mystery of their meeting.

However, the one issue...to survive as the wife of Lucius Malfoy requires some modicum of strength. Narcissa may be quiet, but I can't see her putting herself in a compromised state by drinking a lot. She's the type, to me, to always be aware and cautious of her surroundings. She would drink in private, but not in front of strangers, I think.

Great work!