I'm never really here but I appreciate reviews, they make life a little brighter. I try to pop in from time to time, but I'm terribly sorry that I'm neglecting MNFF.
A shout out to any people still reading my wimsy little pieces. =D
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sorry for the double posting but I didn't mean to put the question mark after "cute poem". I didn't want you to interpret that the wrong way.
This poem was very nicely done, as I've alread said *below*. Good job ^^
Author's Response: That\'s okay! I was wondering why there was a question mark... Also, for your question in the first post, who the second stanza was about, I really leave it up to reader interpretation, but if you look at the banner on my author page, its Ginny speaking about Harry. Its sort of a future poem showing a peak at the troubles in their relationship.
It is so NOT ridiculously long. Sometimes long poems are great and you need that length to make it is as good as it can be... and this is definitely one of those poems. I like how each girl is on a journey to find the one they love. It is just such a great idea. And the little ending and prolougues are interesting. Nice work. ^_^
Author's Response: thanks again (they should seriously make some kind of dictionary for author\'s responses, because \'thank you\' is just SO lame)! i think the best way to end a long journey of poems to go into the mind of women..only because, in my huble opinion, we have more touching and loving and poetic thoughts ..*runs away from frustrated boys*....and im happy you love the ending, i LOVE my happily ever-afters! :-D
Woah- this is so beautiful. The whole thing is so deep- and it gives out so many emotions. As you read more and more- it just keeps getting deeper. And then the last two lines are so powerful. This is such a beautiful piece. I'm glad I read it.Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I am so glad that you liked it.
Very angsty peom. I really don't understand why some people think it is funny.... I see romance and darkness but not comedy... I just don't see it....
ANYWAYS, like I said before- this is quite dark, but well written. The only part of the poem I have to direct your attention to is this line:
and you no where to be found, This just sort of confuses me... Isn't "nowhere" one word.... *checks online dictionary* Yup. Any ways, I think I know what you meant... it's just the wording kind of confuses me. But overall, this is a very good poem. I wish I could do free-verse. Maybe I'll try it sometime... Good job on this!
Author's Response: Thank you. I like your username, very creative and funny...teehee, unlike this poem, which is NOT supposed to be funny -glares at people who think it is funny-. Haha, I jest. Anyways, thank you for reviewing! ~Kathy
Nice poem. I like it. It's- interesting and...different. And it's a fun poem. Great job. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I\'m glad you like it! :D
A really wonderful, moving story. I think it's brilliant. Great job.
This is an amazing story. It was interesting and very different from a lot of fanfic.
I like your writing style. And the story is really interesting- depressing, but interesting- so far. I hope you update soon- I want to know more about the betrayal you described in your summary.
Very beautiful poem, and very moving as well.
What caught my eye and I thought was really clever was that you capitalized "Black" in the poem. Gives it a double meaning, which really makes the poem more significant. I really liked this line as well:
Behind her lies what was a family
I don't know why I like that part so much, it is just very moving and quite sad.
The only critic I have is the first line. I believe that the "is clawing" could be changed to "claws" or can be reworded so it flows more smoothly. Anyways, this poem is beautifully written. Great job. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! :D
You’re the first person who’s spotted/pointed out the “Black” part – yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a dual meaning there. Thanks for the critique too, though I dunno, in my head that line sounds fine, hmm. Thanks anyway. :) I wrote this poem quite quickly so it just flowed…I’m really glad you like it! ~Suzie
Hmmmm, I liked how you used eyes to identify individuals. Really creative. When I first read this though, I thought of Harry and Ginny, not James and Lily, but maybe that's just me. It seems to me as if it could be either. Anyways.... nice poem. ^_^
Author's Response: *reads over poem again* I see what you mean. It does seem a bit Harry/Ginny, doesn\'t it? I might actually switch my Harry/Ginny and Lily/James ones, because the ships seem to work better in the other poems. Thanks for reviewing!
Again, another wonderful poem. Just a bit confusing. :) Thats probably just me though.
I still really like the style, with they eyes showing what is happening instead of people.
My favorite part are the last three stanzas:
Big Grey eyes,
Full of Malice.
Little Grey eyes,
Full of Trust.
Full of Sorrow.
So sad, but it really wraps things up and perfectly describes the Malfoys. So, wonderful job. Will you write another?
Author's Response: Thanks! I might write another, if the inspiration hits me. I have to think of another ship to write about, though.
Hmmmm... really interesting. Did you have any particular character in mind when you were writng this?
I like how the poem is all "elegant" in the beginning and then rushed in the end when "he" is running out. Very interesting.... good job. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks. I\'m glad you liked it. =D I first thought of it as being Draco and what I think (or hope ^.^) will happen with him. Later I realized it could be anybody, so I changed it a little to get rid of the gender references.
A very short but powerful piece.
This is truly the end.
A great way to end the short poem, it leaves the reader with closure. It is probably my fave line. Great job. ^^
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I\'m glad you enjoyed it.
Aww, so sweet. A very nice and romantic poem. I could never write something as romantic and fluffy as this. I applaud your writing. ^_^
Author's Response: Romantic and fluffy, that\'s me! XD Glad you liked it, Lalalalatina! Thanks for the review!!!
So very sad, it is a bittersweet story. Roxanne and Draco are so alike, it was funny how they bickered at times. I smiled inside at some of the things they said.
I just think perhaps the story should have been a bit longer, with longer memories that go deeper into their relationship.
For a first fanfic, this was great. You should definetly keep writing. ^_~
Author's Response: :D Gracias! Yeah... I like how they bicker and fight too. I believe this makes them look less fluffy *sheepish grin* I\'d have liked to make it a tad longer... but I\'m afraid I\'d have rambled *blushes* so.. well... Anyways, thanks for the fanatbulous review honey!
Ohmy... How dark! But dark in a beautiful sort of way! This is so amazing.... and to think that this is the first poem you've posted. I cannot wait until you post more. I like how you capitalized Death and how you repeated the first stanza at the end. It's such a great poem... you should definitely write more soon.
Author's Response: Yes, thank you. It started out as some different style poem, but then I thought \"It kind of sounds like Voldemort\'s lake.\" It took three tries for this site to accept it so I\'m very excited. Thank you again very much, I am very proud of my works. I hope they will be as good as yours some day!
I'm reviewing again for my poetry class on the forums. I chose this because it is one of my favorite poems. :]
The title is pretty open and broad, and I think that helps catch the reader's attention because they wonder what exactly is "drifitng."
You repetition of the first stanza at the end really gives the poem a circular kind of effect, because you introduce the reader to the description of "those who lost the will to survive" and what became of them and then you show how the narrator ends up with the same fate. It really gives closure to the poem. Great ending.
The fact that you this poem divided into quatrains really gives it a nice rythm, so kudos for that. =]
I also really liked the way you used mataphors to enrichen the poem...
"Puppets of the darkest master,
Doing his bidding oh so black..."
Really sums up what the inferi are in the book.
"Deceived by the poisoned kiss."
Poisoned kiss-- very chilling way to describe the attraction these people had to death.
I liked the window phrases and vocabulary you chose to use in this poem, especially in the metaphors mentioned above. They really give the poem a chlling tone. A line I especially liked was...
"Tears fill up the blackened water"
Just the way you descibe the setting paints a nightmarish and at the same time beautiful picture in my mind.
Overall, fantastic poem, please write and post more soon!
Author's Response: My computer is finally fixed and I come to see this? Oh my gosh! I am honored you chose my poem. I thought they were NOTHING compared to yours! Wow, thanks. I\'m so speechless! ^-^
Fiirst off, I must congradulate you for writing such a great poem. This was your first poem in English? So do you normally write in spanish or something? That's really cool, that you write in different languages. Now I want to- maybe I'll try it sometime.
Alright, so its your first poem in English, and I must say that it is great. There are a few lines that are a bit iffy, but the poem is still very well written. The only think that I must pick on in this poem is the very first stanza with "skin" and "scene". You used a rhyme scheme in the poem, but the very first stanza does not follow that sheme. I'm not saying that you should go rhyming crazy and rhyme every thing you right, but in this poem I think it would have fit more. But anyways, maybe you did that on purpose.
So overall, it is an awesome poem. Good job. ^^
Author's Response: Gracias! I normally write poetry in Spanish or French, but mostly, I write in English. :D I\'m really glad you liked the poem, dear. It means a lot to me that you reviewed it! About the first stanza\'s rhyme scheme... I needed it to make sense, so I couldn\'t find any rhying words that suited the poem... yeah... that\'s basically what happened. *smiles sheepishly* Thanks for the great review!
Such a very sad but powerful piece. I loved how you described the members of the family, I actually knew who you were talking about every time without doing much thinking.
The last of the Black blood and bone.
This will be the end of the family tree.
A very sad ending that really sums up the theme of the poem, that she is now alone.
And I had to watch each of them die.
Another very sad line. You did a great job of making the reader sympathetic towards her dreadful situation. This was an amazing piece, you should write more dark and sad poems like this one.^_^
Author's Response: Pretty much everything I write is dark and sad. I\'m just a cheery person like that. :P
Anyway, thanks so much for the review. I\'m glad you enjoyed the poem.
Wowzers... dark. But I like dark poems.
I liked how you ended the poem with some latin phrase. Gives the poem a stronger ending. And although it is short, it is very deep, and your choice of words is very powerful. And you brought so much into the poem, like the Grim, and the fact that he was innocent and that he fell into the veil, and all of that into four small stanzas.
So, excellent job. ^_^
Author's Response: thanx! thats what i was aiming for! i love responses. BTW it was italian. but all the same... Aqua_Dragon ur Dark writter