Penname: Doctor Phoenix [Contact]
Real name: J
Member Since: 02/25/07
Beta-reader: 1
Status: Member
I'm an alien trapped in a teenager's body, or so I tell myself, because if I have to start thinking about the humans around here as part of my own race, I'll go mad.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

My stories:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Control the Wind is my first attempt at writing something dark, and so far it's going rather well. (I think.) It chronicles the problems of Theodore Nott when he decides to betray the Death Eaters. This is currently my high-priority story, so updates should come as often as the mods allow.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Marigold Dursley and the Marauder's Map is currently on hiatus while I work on Control the Wind. Reviews are still welcome, though! When I resume work on it, expect some revisions of earlier chapters to make the plot easier to follow.
[Report This]
Reviews by Doctor Phoenix

Summary: Trains, crazy old janitors, Fred and George mooning someone, this fic has it all. With Wizards all around them, Muggles are bound to see something weird everyonce in a while. This short story is taken from the beginning of Goblet of Fire.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2920 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
12/01/04 Updated: 12/01/04

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 02/27/07 Title: Chapter 1: Waiting for Jovie

This has to be one of the funniest HP fics I've read in a long time...that sounds so much like something Fred and George would do!
I do have to wonder, however, how the Weasleys learned to talk like an old sci-fi movie. It doesn't seem like something that would be in a wizard's common knowledge.
Then again, humor fics don't really have to make sense. The point is that this story was hillarious.


No Longer Alone by Evilpersonified
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary: Remus Lupin hides behind his books. He fears his curse will hurt more than just him, and wishes he could be loved. A friend is sometimes more than a friend, and almost the cure to his curse...(Remus/Sirius, one-shot)

Categories: Same-Sex Pairings Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 1008 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/05/05 Updated: 03/05/05

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

It's very difficult to write good slash--I could never work up the courage to do it myself. Cheers to you for trying, and for doing a great job of it, too. I've read a fair bit of Remus/Sirius and it falls into two catagories: really good and abysmal. Yours happily falls into the first.
The only thing I would suggest would be to continue've got some good emotions here that are wasted on a oneshot. Not that there's anything wrong with oneshots, but you're leaving your readers wanting more.
I really enjoyed reading this; keep up the good work!
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table


Rated: [Reviews - ]


Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 04/02/07 Title: None

I hope you haven't abandoned this because you haven't gotten very many reviews. You certainly deserve to get them. This is really good, and if you still have any thought of completing it like you said you were going to, you should.
I'm recommending this on the Ravenclaw House forum, because it deserves more attention than it's received. Please continue with this, and don't let the lack of reviews get you down. If people are too lazy to type a few sentences, it's no reflection on your work.
Keep going with writing, and don't let anything get you down. You know you're good, and that's the only opinion that matters.
Doctor Phoenix, Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: wow, thank you so much! I know, people don\'t really like to take time to review poems, I\'m so glad you did! This makes me feel very warm and fuzzy. :D It\'s been a VERY long time since I started this, so I\'d have to go find all my notes about whatever else I was going to add, but thank you so much for your encouragement.


The Last Toast by evanescence17
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: The night Sirius Black goes through the veil, someone loses a godfather, someone loses a student, someone loses a member of the Order and someone loses a best friend.

‘I ask you to raise your glasses to this great wizard, who truly was a gem,’ I raised my glass of blood red wine and said, ‘this last toast to Sirius Black,’ and immediately a low collective whisper of ‘to Sirius Black’ filled the kitchen. And I added silently, ‘May he rest in peace.’

Disclaimer: All characters you recognize are JoRo’s property, and I’m not stealing them.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1679 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
08/08/06 Updated: 08/11/06

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: -

Actually, I found the exchange between the Marauders to be my favorite part of the story, so don't worry about not being funny. I could easily see the four of them having that conversation. I loved Sirius's comment about angels...that's just the sort of thing he would have said.
Some of your dialogue seems a little rehearsed...had Remus practiced what he was going to say?
I don't often cry over fanfics, but I will admit that you elicited a sniffle or two. Congrats.
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table


Summary: Past Featured StoryWhat does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.

WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.

RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 12002 Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes
09/23/06 Updated: 12/04/06

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/21/07 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: I Sold My Soul on eBay

I am laughing too hard to submit a coherent review...I'd better get ahold of myself or Mom is going to realize that I am not using my computer for homework. E-crucios can't hold a candle to my mom.
I hope to see more of your hilarious work in the future!

Author's Response: Oh, wow! Thanks a lot! I love getting new readers.


The Secret by pheonixflame
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: It's the Marauders' second year, and Remus is working diligently to make sure his secret stays in his and the Headmaster's eyes only. Oh how very wrong he is.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2010 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
09/25/06 Updated: 09/29/06

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: Secret's Out

Here's one more for your neglected fic. People read this and didn't review? The cads. I'll try to make up for it.
First of all, things I loved: the imagery at the beginning--really descriptive, sets the scene beautifully. And the last sentence. Just...because. It's lovely.
Critiques, because I believe in well-rounded reviews: Remus is really well-characterized, but the other Marauders feel a little weak...they're not really fleshed out. Try to expand on their characters more through their dialogue and interactions with Remus.
Overall, I thought this was a very good story, and I hope this helps to make up for your lack of reviews.
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thanks for the helpful review! Critiques are always welcome, so thanks for that as well! :] Glad you liked it.


Song by Adelfore Flamell
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 24]

Summary: She is in so much pain. For the first time she could remember, control was out of reach and slipping farther and farther away every moment. Will she be lost forever... Will someone have the strength to rescue her out of the nothingness that threatened to envelope her completely? A post HBP fic depicting how the war is taking its toll on everyone.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1608 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/05/06 Updated: 11/07/06

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/09/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I don't often read romance fics, but I'm very glad I read this one. Being a somewhat musical person myself, I've always believed in the power of music to help people get through hard times. It's very easy to see Molly singing to her children when they were little; it seems like the sort of thing she would do. You've done a wonderful job of keeping true to canon while still making the characters and story your own.
The only thing I wondered about was the circumstances of the deaths...did Hermione actually see them die or just receive the news? A reference to it a little earlier in the story might help strengthen the context.
All in all, this was a really wonderful story. I loved the line towards the end: "Her son...and now her daughter..." It and the lines following it ended the story perfectly.
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thank you so very much! Being a fan of the romantic fics, I have seen many different plots and ideas put forth. And I must say, after a while, the old saying \"You read one, you\'ve read them all\" begins to apply (with no offence to the romantic writers whatsoever. I enjoy reading all of them, even if i have read the storyline before. I would not keep coming back time and again if i did not.). I tried, with this story, to break that trend. It is quite hard! Much thought and effort, and especially personal emotion went into this fic. I asked myself: what would i feel if... and it was painfully difficult for me. But I think that is what made it work so well. As far as the circumstances of the deaths, I must leave that credit to Merlani yet again. I HIGHLY recomend her fic, as that is where this inspiration originated from. I could understand how one would not truely understand the circumstances of their death without reading her sotry. Though, i also did that intentionally. That was also why the reader did not find out who the characters were untill midway through the story. I left it up to them to interpret and feel before allowing them the true knowledge. Thank you again so very much. The kind words of the reader are are the best reward a writer can achieve!!!


Your Star by Hansolohpfrk
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: The final assignment for DADA First Years, ProfPosky, Professor.

Hermione Granger knows that he isn’t there. He had received the Kiss a long time ago. But she decides to go to talk to him. HG/DM

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1786 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/16/06 Updated: 11/22/06

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 04/12/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I have to be honest: I usually don't like Dramione fics. But it seems I have to revise my opinion now, because I did like this one. In fact, I liked it a lot. A whole lot.
I loved the description of the kiss at the end: "a spurt of warmth in the endless cold." Very poetic.
Maybe I've judged the Dramione genre too harshly. Thank you for changing my mind.
-Doctor Phoenix
PS: Thank you for my loverly banner!


The First Harry Potter by dragonwings
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: A fun, absolutely pointless parody involving Harry and some shepherds, three kings, Mary, Joseph, and a lot of sheep.

This is dragonwings writing in the Winter Challenge for... GRYFFINDOR!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 192 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
12/13/06 Updated: 12/15/06

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 04/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

*pauses before reviewing in order to catch breath from hysterical laughter*
"his soul and a bundle of Malfoy's best bling..." *dissolves into laughter again*
Sorry. I'm having a really hard time stopping myself from laughing long enough to type coherently. This was so funny...
I don't really have anything to criticize...I really enjoyed reading it. (And I'm sure you don't sing that badly.) Keep up the good work!
*stops review before she starts laughing again*
Doctor Phoenix, Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! lol I love writing humor, but I also like writing dark/angsty stories. (: But making people laugh is WAY better!


Summary: Title: The Last Dance of Rowena Ravenclaw

Author name : Both here and the forum Zara Ravenwood

House: Gryffindor

Warnings: Character deaths

“They’ve gone; they've gone, they’ve gone away,”

Whispers the echoes in her ear.

But she clings fast to the memories

As if she cannot hear.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 559 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
01/30/07 Updated: 01/31/07

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Congratulations, you're making me cry...and that's not a very easy thing to do. You've done a wonderful job of characterizing the enigmatic Founders, and managed to do it all in verse, as well. Very impressive.
There are a few times where the rhythm of the poem is a little bit off...not much, but if you read it out loud (as I did), it's noticeable. Still awesome, though.
I really loved the I said, you made me cry. Keep up the good work!
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table


The Beginning by LuthAn
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: We don't know anything about Harry's ancestors, but this poem paints one picture of what could have happened. Journey back to one fateful night on a cold moor in Scotland, not too far from Hogwarts...

This ballad was written for the January Ballad Challenge and received first place!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1101 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
02/04/07 Updated: 02/07/07

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wonderful idea of how it all started! I'd be interested in learning more about Charlus and his relationship with the Founders, if you ever find yourself in the mood to write a sequel.
One thing I wondered was how the Potter name remained, if Grace was a girl and the only wizard in the family. Wouldn't she have taken her husband's surname?
If this is only "a snippet," as the beginning of the ballad claims, I would love to see more "snippets" in the future. You have a knack for balladry. (Is that a word? It should be.)
Most sincerely,
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! I was really intrigued as I wrote this ballad, and I found myself wanting to know a lot more about Charlus, too! I haven\'t ruled out the possbility of writing another ballad, or maybe even a story. Good to know there\'s an audience out there. :)

As for the surname, she would indeed take her husband\'s surname. It\'s a complicated situation; I guess that she could have an uncle or a secret brother or something along those lines who was also a wizard. I would have to work out that detail if I kept writing it.

Anyway, thanks again for the review and the message! They really made my day. I\'ll keep you posted about the literary future of Charlus and Grace!


Rendezvous by murgatroid
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Hedwig and Pigwidgeon have a secret! How far will they go to keep it that way? Read to find out more...

A Short but Sweet story

Wow, i just realised that a whole section of Rendezvous has been missing ever since i first posted. This has now been fixed, so if you have already read this, please do again because the extra part is (I think) crucial. Sorry I never realised this untill now :(

Scroll down to the bottom if you dont want to reread, it is the last section of the fanfic

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1326 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
02/15/07 Updated: 02/20/07

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Certainly one of the most interesting and unique pairings I've encounted in a long time! Writers come up with all sorts of pairings, but everyone always forgets our feathered friends.
I loved the brief characterization of Harry from Hedwig's perspective, and the description of Filch's nose.
The only criticism I have is that I wanted a bit more characterization of Mrs. Norris--she doesn't seem as fleshed out as everyone else.
Overall, I really enjoyed this story and hope to see many more examples of your writing in the future.
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thankyou!!! I\'m so glad that veryone likes my ship - i was a little worried that some might not accept my fav feathered ship...

Anyway, RE: Mrs Norris, yeah, i know, my bad... I really don\'t like her and she was the hardest to write, (as hard as a 1000 word shortfic can get...) I was going to go over and rewrite, but i really couldn\'t stand her so i got lazy and.. uh.. didn\'t. *cough*

Sorry to Mrs Norris fans.... :(


Among the Ranks of Heroes by Chaser921
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Moments after Sirius Black falls through the Veil, he meets someone he never knew existed who tells him something he doesn't quite believe...

I am Chaser921 writing for Gryffindor for the Myth and Magic Prompt

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1978 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
02/16/07 Updated: 02/20/07

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 04/17/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

If anyone deserves a decent afterlife, it's Sirius...and Valhalla does seem to suit him perfectly. Sirius and James together in a hall full of drinking and brawling--death will never be the same.
I love the line "a hero rarely says goodbye," because it's so true...a fact that is making me cry as I think about it.
I don't really have any criticism; this was a really good story, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
~Doctor Phoenix, Knight of the Turnip Table


Oh No, Nott Again! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 39]

Summary: Our boy Theodore Nott thinks he’s signed up for a position in the Department of Mysteries. Little does he know that he’s been roped into something a bit more… deathly.

Rollicking fun, dry commentary, suspense, and heavy doses of surrealism with the Grim Reaper and company, including a surprise guest at the end. Written for the Gauntlet challenge by Schmerg_The_Impaler of the grand house of Hufflepuff.

Technically a companion piece to “To Be Or Nott To Be,” but who’s counting? It also stands on its own just as well.

Looks like the judges got drunk again, because they were insane enough to give this story Second Place in the gauntlet. Somewhere, all the famous dead writers are rolling over in their graves, but I, for one, am feeling very squeeful at this undeserved reward! Thanks, judges!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 8741 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
05/28/07 Updated: 05/29/07

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 07/14/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Indeed, it does seem Theo's life is going to be very interesting...I hope I'll get to see more of it.
Kudos to you for paying attention to a neglected character, and for doing it so well.

Author's Response: Thanks! After reading the description of him on Rowling\'s website, I simply fell in love... I guess I see myself in him, because he really seems to write himself.


Summary: It's another spoof by Schmerg_The_Impaler!

This time, it's "Wicked," by Stephen Schwartz, remodeled to tell the story of Voldemort's life!

I also have spoofs of Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and High School Musical on my profile, if anyone would care to read.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 6682 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
03/18/08 Updated: 03/29/08

Reviewer: Doctor Phoenix Signed
Date: 03/23/08 Title: Chapter 1: Act One

*snicker* That's just...just wonderful. I wish I could write parodies like that.

I vote for Sweeney Todd. Although I'm sure Hairspray would also be hilarious.

Author's Response: Thank yooooou! I\'m sure you could write parodies, though... you\'d be surprised by how easy it is. I was just like, \"Man, I wish I could be like Weird Al... I\'ll try spoofing,\" and then I got hooked. I\'m doing both Sweeney and Hairspray, I just can\'t decide which one to write first!

Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
M.I.T.: Entente Cordiale by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...