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Firkant [Contact]

I'm not much of a writer but I will try to come up with a story.

Please do not delete

I`m 16 years old from Norway. I love fan fiction. Or I'm more obsessed with them and Harry Potter.

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Reviews by Firkant

All This Time... by PhoenixCGandAC

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
A SEQUAL TO LOVE IS PAIN: "If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was." (Richard Bach)

Draco’s death hit Hermione like a steam engine. Since the day she found his casket delivered to her doorstep, her life has slowly been wilting. She now lives, as Harry Potters’ wife, in a life slowly turning into death. What she doesn't know is that Draco is not dead, although close to it. He wakes up to find himself locked in a dungeon with not but his father, the Cruciatus Curse and many others to keep him company. As Draco struggles to grasp onto life, so does Hermione. Can Draco find Hermione and recreate the love they used to share? Would she even forgive him if he did? And if he somehow found a way back to Hermione’s side, would he even want to be with her after finding her with “Saint Potter?” Through these pages, love’s secrets await…

Chapter 9: Validated!

“I want nothing less then to leave you here, destined for death,” she divulged in a hush. “I wish with all of my heart you could suffer the same pain I have.” Her feet concluded their progress across the room and she simply stood there, towering over his body.

“But I know you never could.”

See A/N for challenge info in chapter 9!
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 04/07/07 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Facing the Unfaceable

Please continue, please...

Sequel Of Suggestion! by FriendsOfSnape

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It's baaaaaack...........

As the name implies, the ever-wacky, ever-evil Power Of Suggestion has returned to Hogwarts! What insanity will occur this time?

Note that this is a sequel (duh), so it's strongly advised to read the first part first. Just check my author page for a link!

Chappie nine is UP! Enjoy!
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 05/03/07 Title: Chapter 6: Subplot Action, Part Two: Muggle Harassment

this were very funny, but I think you should have the band "Draco and the purebloods"

Author's Response: Hmm....ideas, ideas....

The Dark Lord's Blog by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.

WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.

RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 09/04/07 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: I Sold My Soul on eBay

omg... This story is GREAT. I mean You are great. It' s just fantastic.
So I'm going to ask you about something. Can't you write a Voldemort storie about his life back in the old days at Hogwarts? I know if anyone could do it it would be you.
Bye... We will meet again. Or not meet since I live in Norway and stuff. But I will review you again.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much! Hmmm... a Tom Riddle story... I\'m kind of giving up on writing about Voldemort because so many people are now doing it, but I may have to consider a story about him in school.

It would involve McGonagall, though. ^_^

A Different Road II: Influence of a Diary by black_ink

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: [Year 2: Complete] Its Harry’s second year as a Slytherin, and the Chamber of Secrets has been opened. The Heir of Slytherin is out there somewhere, having students petrified left and right, and by the end of the year someone will die from Slytherin’s horrible beast. But this time, Harry's the one with Riddle's diary.

How will Harry’s years at Hogwarts turn out, now that he's a Slytherin? Will he turn to the Dark Arts and be a follower of Voldemort? Or will he kill Voldemort, or die trying, after he learns of the prophecy? Will Harry's choices lead him down a different road? Follow and you will see...

“What is a diary as a rule? A document useful to the person who keeps it, dull to the contemporary who reads it, invaluable to the student, centuries afterwards, who treasures it.” –Ellen Terry

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 04/13/07 Title: Chapter 16: Tom Riddle the Memory

When I realiced that I couldn`t read more I just "NO"

Author's Response: more will be coming! don\'t worry!

To Be Or Nott To Be by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Theodore Nott has never had much respect for anyone but himself. But after being summoned by Lord Voldemort to join the Death Eaters, his world turns upside down, and he finds himself questioning everything, including his own values and beliefs. Darkish, but with surprisingly light and fluffy bits, kind of like my Dad's pancakes or a truly hideous dress that my Mum once bought for me.

Written by Schmerg_The_Impaler from Hufflepuff House for the Gauntlet's 3rd run. Whoot!
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 03/25/08 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic

There`s some Jordan Potter in Theodore Nott, I think. Well, This story, I like it.

Author's Response: Hmmm, really? That might be because there\'s some me in both of them... I just never noticed it was that obvious! Thanks so much.

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 09/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic

-so... Erm. I wasn't going too read this. Even though I love your stories. Every time I feel down, I just read them. And it's still funny. So reason I wasn't going too read this is I didn't think I liked Nott. Always pictured him as a stupid git. But well I do like him. You kinda make him SO cool, you know. And people think I'm weird cause I quote him, very often. Like every minute of every day. I think that was all.

Thanks by the way,for all the Voldy stories. And you're other stories.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you SO much! I\'m glad you were hoenst about the part that you didn\'t want to read this. And Theo raises an eyebrow and laughs at your calling him cool, which is his way of saying thank you! I quote him, too, and that makes me even weirder, \'cause I invented him.

I recommend you read the sorta sequal, \"Oh No, Nott Again!\" which has Theo in an even stranger conflict!

Smells Like Sirius Black by Soap

Rated: Professors •
Summary: Hermione Granger finds herself in an unusual place, an unusual time for that matter. Through an unintentional mishap, she is tossed right into the mix with James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. Will she make it back to her own time without altering the future irreparably? And what will happen when she returns?


Thanks to everyone who nominated this story for a Quicksilver Quill, and congratulations to the winners!!
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 03/14/07 Title: Chapter 4: Love Potions

Please continue:P

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 02/17/07 Title: Chapter 1: An Unusual Visitor

please continue!
I just love your stories!!!

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 03/05/07 Title: Chapter 3: That Time of the Month

maby you could have Snape in this story?

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 04/07/07 Title: Chapter 6: Quidditch Match

Please please just continue.

Lord Voldemort and the Deathly Hallows by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Lord Voldemort made a deal with someone who even he considers superior, and if he doesn't fulfill his side of it, then he'll be mortal again!

I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff house, and this is my submission for the Deathly Hallows prompt in the New Year's Challenge.

Although this story's a one-shot for the challenge, I may add more chapters after the contest is over.

EDIT: Dude! This story came in second in the "Deathly Hallows" prompt of the New Years' Challenge! So, let's do the "2nd Place Dance!" (It's a lot like the Cha-Cha slide.)

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 09/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only

ohmigod. I didn't see that one comming. That' s just ... wrong. But I don't know so weird. Oh my god. Minnie and Voldy. I don't think I will be able to sleep to night. Thanks a lot :)

Author's Response: Hehehe, that\'s how like all the reviews for this story go. ^_^ It was inspired by a dream I had once about how Voldemort was just a figurehead and his girlfriend, McGonagall, was the real one in charge.

The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)

Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.

With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.

Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.

If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.

This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!

Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)

EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 01/25/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Not A Loyal Slave In The World

Hey, it's me. Well duh! Guess where I am? Yup. Im in a muggle hospital. I don't know why, but my shrink sent me here. And they have but me on drugs, so I really think I can leave this place for psychos. Well anyway,

"You know what also really annoys me? The computer they have here in my room. Not only is it a piece of junk, it’s a
Hewlett-Packard. This means that every time I turn it on, those two hateful initials, HP, flash onto the screen. Laughing at me. Mocking me. I hate it!"

That really made me laugh, cause this computer that Im writing on is a Hewlett-Packard. And it do SUCK! Well in a hospital like this, there is not very much to do. And Im just like the most bored person ever! So I use my days, reading fan fics. And of course yours. They are the best! So will you update soon, or I will have to e-Crucio you. Oh merlin. Im turning in to Lord Voldemort. I should start bloging.

That's what I had to say. I will be back. And say "Hi" to Theo from me, will you?

Author's Response: Hello! Oh, the irony of reading this story while in a hospital! The computer I wrote that story on was an HP, but it diiiied after a long, terminal illness in which it literally ate its own hard drive bit by bit, so now I have a Dell, and I love it.

I don\'t think I\'ll be updatin\' because I\'m sick of all of the Voldemort fics on this site... there are so many, and mine aren\'t really much in comparison, plus all the originality\'s gone out of writing about VOldemort. But you never know, inspiration might come to me. I will indeed say hi to Theo! I\'m working on a gauntlet story with him in it right now!

Dangerously in Love by Eminence

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Hermione Granger has always loathed Draco Malfoy, and obviously, vice-versa. But as their final year at Hogwarts goes by, can a Dark secret, a Potions assignment, physical attraction, a vacation in Greece, a surge of jealousy, and saved lives bring them together?

View my author page for more info.

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 04/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Return


Author's Response: Of course. ;)

Oh No, Nott Again! by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Our boy Theodore Nott thinks he’s signed up for a position in the Department of Mysteries. Little does he know that he’s been roped into something a bit more… deathly.

Rollicking fun, dry commentary, suspense, and heavy doses of surrealism with the Grim Reaper and company, including a surprise guest at the end. Written for the Gauntlet challenge by Schmerg_The_Impaler of the grand house of Hufflepuff.

Technically a companion piece to “To Be Or Nott To Be,” but who’s counting? It also stands on its own just as well.

Looks like the judges got drunk again, because they were insane enough to give this story Second Place in the gauntlet. Somewhere, all the famous dead writers are rolling over in their graves, but I, for one, am feeling very squeeful at this undeserved reward! Thanks, judges!

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 03/25/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This story is good. When will there be more?

Just something I wanted to ask you, If yo had written a story about Draco Malfoy, How would you`ve made him?

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! This story is completed, so there won\'t be more, but there are always chances of more Theodore Nott stories. I love to write abouit him-- I always use him for drabbles.

\r\nAs for how I would I make Draco, I did write a story about him called \"Draco\'s Trick-or-Treat,\" where he\'s an adorable little four-year-old, and he appears in \"Potter\'s Pentagon: The Five\" as a crazed evil psychopath with strangely tender paternal instincts. If you want a teenaged Draco... well, maybe I should write a story about him soon. He\'s not one of my favourite characters, but he\'s very interesting.

Kickin' It at the Top by Soap

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: A Marauder-era fic - this story takes a look at all the characters we've come to love (and hate), as well as an OC or two thrown in for good measure. Follow the Marauders through seven years at Hogwart's, with appearances from the infamous Black sisters, Lucius Malfoy, Regulus Black, and of course the one and only Severus Snape.

There are a bunch of pairings in this story (although romance is not necessarily the central theme) to include James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, a splash of Lucius/Bella and unrequited Snape/Lily, and finally, plenty of Sirius/OC. Enjoy!

Over 120,000 reads! Wow! Thanks everyone!
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 06/14/08 Title: Chapter 53: The Same Tuxedo

I love this story. But I`m really sad cause Anne is dead. I really liked her.

Author's Response: I liked her, too!

Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.

Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.

Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.

Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.

But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton
Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 12/27/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

Who is that blasted Phoenix?

I think I know who it is :D Mwhahaha :)

Come on, prove me wrong !

Author's Response: Ooooh, we shall seeeee! (I will update after break.)

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 01/25/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

Ohh... Please update. And btw What is the Theo story?

Author's Response: I would love to update... hopefully, I will this weekend. The Theo story is called \"Nott On Your Life,\" and it\'s for the Gauntlet.

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 04/20/08 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: On The Streets Of London

I just finnished reading the scarlet pimpernel. I can`t wait to finnish your story. BTW I loved the book :)

Author's Response: Thank you! It\'s great to know that I\'m not the only person in the world who likes the Scarlet Pimpernel. And the musical is even better!

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 10/20/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: In Which Snape Drives a Very, Very Hard Bargain

wtf? What is up with James?

This story is great I find it very funny. But Who is this Phoenix dude? Are you going to have Dumbledore more in the story?

What is Snape up too?

I can't think of more to say... yeah Update :)

Author's Response: Mehehehe, you shall see what is up with James. And we will most definitely see Dumbledore. Plus, there\'s a couple parts from Snape\'s point of view later...

As for the Phoenix, that\'s the point of the whole story. You will find out who he is!

Reviewer: Firkant Signed
Date: 09/07/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

When will you update?!?

Author's Response: I'm not sure. :-( I planned to write a lot this summer, but then the whole "Pride and Prejuiced Plums" thing consumed my time. But it is NOT abandoned.