Penname: jenny b [Contact]
Real name: Jennifer
Member Since: 01/18/07
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
I'm Jennifer. I write fics for your enjoyment (well, mostly my own, but I hope you enjoy it too).
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Reviews by jenny b
 

The Cause by Pussycat123
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 276]

Summary: Marty Price works for The Cause, which involves several campaigns and petitions on a weekly basis. It has become common knowledge within Hogwarts that if you see her coming towards you with a clipboard, you should turn and walk the other way. Or perhaps deny all grasp of the English language. And if this isn’t eccentric enough, there’s also her obsessive written observations of four boys in her year, which will one day make a rather interesting book ...

Remus Lupin, meanwhile, has always been a little different, too. Poor, sweet Remus Lupin is, to the casual observer, the picture of a sensible, hard working student. However, he has three friends who have done more for him than anyone knows and they have done this because of his troubled past, troubled present and troubled future. Why the gloominess? Because Remus Lupin just so happens to be a werewolf.

So what could these two possibly have in common? And how can their stories possibly connect?

Runner-up for the 2008 Best Marauder Era QSQ.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 85857 Chapters: 20 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/06/07 Updated: 10/28/08


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 11/12/07 Title: Chapter 5: Taffy's

Oh my Godric.

You've rendered me speechless (something that is practically impossible to do!)

Oh, look, there I go again. You can't keep me silent for long!

Merlin, what on earth am I rambling on about? I'm tired. Give me some credit. I'll start reviewing now.

My favourite part of this chapter was the Sirius bit, becuase you showed really well how hard it must have been for him to leave. Most fics you just see him all happy, but I liked the way you made him care about his family. Especially Regulus. After all, he wasn't bad in the end, was he? :]

I loved the leafy water bit. My thoughts on tea exactly. I can't stand the stuff!

Oh no, here I go rambling again. This was a rather weird review, hey? I was up for twenty eight hours straight on the weekend, though. Great chapter, anyhow.

Jennifer

Author's Response: =D Sometimes, the weird reviews are the best. Love that you love the Sirius bit, and the tea bit (I\'m with James on that one, too). Twenty-eight hours? Maybe you should get some rest ...

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 10/25/07 Title: Chapter 4: The Bullies

Iím guessing turnip for obscure Ravenclaw reference. Iím not even a Ravenclaw!

I loved this chapter so much! It was really funny and sad at the same time. Poor Marty. Sheís such a lovely person. The Marauders can be tactless sometimes.

ďOkay, now you totally just took those Gay Points back,Ē

I think Sirius should earn some more Gay Points for saying ďtotallyĒ. LOL!

Sorry this is such a quick review, but I donít have time to proclaim your brilliance and the wonderfulness of this chapter. I have a Science essay due tomorrow morning, and it is nine at night and I havenít started.

My favourite chapter yet though!

Jennifer


Author's Response: *giggles* Yes, it was the turnip. I\'m glad you liked the chapter! The Marauders ARE very tactless sometimes, I\'ll admit, but don\'t worry, because they\'ll learn, and that\'s why we love them, isn\'t it? Good luck with the science essay! When I say that I understand completely, I really do believe it. =D

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 09/15/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Plight of the Pixie

You never fail to make me laugh. Marty is amazingly developed already, being weird and stalkerish, but just enough to make me love her instead of running away. And Horny ... priceless.
Well done! I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: *grins inanely* Thanks! I\'m glad you liked it! Weird, stalkerish but loveable is exactly what I wanted from Marty. So yay!

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 01/18/08 Title: Chapter 9: The King of Diamonds

The chapter title was very interesting. It caught my eye before the chapter had even been validated, and made me keep checking back to see when it would be up!

I love the interviews. They always make me crack up laughing. Usually I would point out my favourite line in it, but they all made me laugh, so I canít. :] Youíre wonderful at writing humour, though. You always manage to capture the characters funny sides without making them OOC, which can be hard.

Marty cleaning the window was great. She doesnít want to seem rude, so she cleans the windows. She couldnít do the dishes like anyone else would, could she? She has to clean the windows. I love Marty. Sheís so Ö unpredictable.

Iím just some random waif they pretty much found on the streets.

I loved that. I think if it was anyone other than Marty they found, it would be weird. But itís her, so itís different. :]

ďJames giggles from down on the floor.

I think giggling sounds a bit too girly for a teenage boy. I donít think they really giggle. They laugh and chuckle and snicker, but I donít think giggling sounds quite right.

Marty seemed a lot different in this chapter. I donít know whether itís because of her mum dying, or getting away from her aunt, or making new friends, but she does seem a bit different. Sheís almost becoming a normal person!

I really loved this chapter. Long ones are great. I canít wait for the next one!

Jennifer


Author's Response: Thanks! Marty is changing, but don\'t worry, because she\'ll still be herself ... and I\'m really glad you like her that way! You\'re probably right about the giggling thing ... I\'ve been brainwashed by my own male friends, who are sometimes a little more effeminate than your average teenage guy. Thanks for reviewing, anyway, I always look forward to yours!

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 10/09/07 Title: Chapter 3: A Victim

Best chapter yet!

I loved her interview with McGonagall. I can just imagine Marty sitting there being, well, Marty, and McGonagalls mouth getting thinner and thinner. LOL!

I felt so sorry for Remus. You nearly made me cry! No, not really. But it was sad. How could Sirius say something like that? It was so mean! *sobs at her future husbands lack of tact*

And then you made me feel sorry for Marty! Why was Remus so mean? *sobs at second future husbands lack of tack*

I love Marty though. She's great. Don't you love those kind of people who just try to cheer others up, without even caring about their privacy? No, not usually, but Marty is just so funny! I want to give Remus hot chocolate and pat him on the head too!

As you may have noticed, I'm a little hyperactive this morning. I can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: I know, the Marauders aren\'t really very tactful here ... but I don\'t think Sirius was ever very tactful to begin with, and certainly not at this age. As for Remus, he was feeling pretty angry and upset. Remember, even though she knows a lot about them, they don\'t necessarily know much about her, to them she\'s just some random person right now. Don\'t worry though! In this fic, certain things that aren\'t so good have to happen in order for the good stuff to happen later ... and I\'ll say no more on that subject.

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 12/13/07 Title: Chapter 7: Hide-And-Seek

What a great chapter!

I loved the beginning with the Marauders. Sirius hiding in a pond? Youíve gotta love him. :]

The letter to Marty was really sweet, and you characterised their different personalities really well. Jamesí long sentence made me laugh so much. Itís probably longer than this review!

Youíre really making me feel sorry for Marty. Itís always sad when strong-willed people like her break down. I hope I can trust you when you say it gets happier, because this is about the third chapter in a row where Iíve almost cried!

I adore this story. Itís definitely one of your best. But not many people seem to read it. :[ They donít know what theyíre missing out on!

Jennifer


Author's Response: Ah, why would I worry about that, when I have you guys? =D Hopefully next chapter I won\'t make you cry! I feel so horrible, but I promise things will look up. Thanks so much for reviewing, as always, and I\'m glad you think this is one of my best, because hey, that means I\'m improving still!

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 02/22/08 Title: Chapter 10: Hapless Slytherins

Another amazing chapter. Iím running out of praise for you. :]

Marty has come a long way since the start of this fic. Sheís no longer the awkward, slightly freakish girl from chapter one, is she? She seems a lot more normal now, and sheís standing up for herself. Youíre very good at developing characters, because Marty has changed so much, and yet itís hard to pinpoint how or when she changed, exactly.

I loved how she knew so much about those girlsí minds, even though sheís never been anything like them. The funny thing is, her analysis reminded me so much of how me and my friends think and act sometimes, which is kind of sad.

Itís sort of like sheís my sister, or my mother, or my wife, or my daughter, all rolled into one big ball of Marty-ness.

I loved this line. Is this going to be a Marty/Remus? I donít really think it will be, because they seem much more compatible being friends than they would dating each other. I canít imagine Marty with anyone really. She has a kind-of childlike innocence, like her mind hasnít discovered boys yet. :]

I also want to congratulate your beta, if you have one. Or you, if you donít. In all ten chapters of this story, I donít think Iíve found a single typo or error. Thatís more than I can say for most fics Iíve read (including mine) so well done!

I canít wait for the next chapter. This story has drawn me in more than I expected it too.

~Jennifer


Author's Response: You\'re right - she HAS changed quite a bit, and she\'ll continue to, but don\'t worry ... because she\'ll still be Marty. She knows so much about the minds of teenage girls, probably BECAUSE she\'s never been like that ... she\'s very observant. But don\'t worry about sometimes acting like those girls ... I personally don\'t know anyone quite like Marty, and I so far haven\'t met a teenage girl who isn\'t like that in one way or another ... some more than others, of course. I won\'t say anything about the possibility of Marty/Remus, and will move straight onto the beta/lack of typos. I don\'t have an official beta, but I do have someone I send the chapters to before they go up, who reads through them and finds any mistakes. But I\'m such a paranoid perfectionist, that by the time this goes into the queue, I\'ve proof read it so many times that there usually aren\'t any anyway. So thanks! It\'s like a team effort. And thanks for the overall review, I always look forward to hearing your thoughts! I\'ll try and update as soon as I\'m allowed.

 

Darkness Rises by Pendraegona
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: For twelve years Sirius has been imprisoned in Azkaban, forced to see the worst of himself, the times when he was powerless, the price of his mistakes. It is hate for the one whom he could not kill that compels Sirius to endure the darkness. He's at Hogwarts--he's at Hogwarts, and
Sirius is the only one who knows he's still alive.
The prisoner of Azkaban will be free. He will find the man who betrayed his best friend, and the hunt will begin here...tonight.

(Sirius' breakout story--Warnings for mild violence, and as far as "mental disorders" are concerned, some very sad memories)

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Violence

Word count: 1144 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/07/07 Updated: 10/10/07


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 10/15/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a very powerful fic. I think how you had the flashbacks made us see how terrible most of Sirius' life (especially his childhood) really was, something that not many people understand when they characterise him as the fun-loving prankster.
It was really moving, and I liked how you added the darkness bit every now and then. It made the fic a lot more mysterious, and it lets you feel just how cruel and cold Azkaban really is. It was a wonderful portayal of Sirius and his time there.
Well done!

Author's Response: This review made my day--thank you so much for your comments!

 

Freedom Gained and Lost by megan_lupin
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: ďPerhaps that was the story of his life, summed up in just a few, simple words: Freedom Gained and Lost. He would gain that much desired for feeling of freedom only to have it snatched from him. He would escape only to be trapped again. Someone had always trapped him, every time he had lost his freedom.Ē

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2534 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/01/07 Updated: 11/01/07


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 11/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: ....

This was a really descriptive fic. Sirius' emotions were captured perfectly, and I really liked how you detailed his thoughts on the war.

"To survive a dozen years surrounded by Dementors with his sanity intact to lose his mind after a few weeks in his childhood home would make for a poor story, indeed. "

This bit made me laugh, which was good, because I was almost crying before!

The only problem I noticed is that you repeated some parts a bit, so you were saying pretty much the same thing, just with different wording.

It was a great story overall!!



Author's Response: Thank you, jenny b, for the review. I\'m so very glad to hear that you liked Sirius\'s portrayal, as I think I\'d have to cut off my own head if I butchered his character. *Loves Sirius so much it\'s bordering unhealthy*

Ah, that line. Yeah, there had to be a few lighter/sarcastic moments in there; this is Sirius, after all, and just 100% brooding angst isn\'t right. And the repeating thing was intentional, as I don\'t think there was a lot of variety for Sirius during OotP. Thoughts and such tend to be a bit circular and repetitive in those situations, I think.

But thanks once again for reading, and leaving such a nice review; I really appreciate it.

~Megan

 

Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.

WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!

Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.

Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.

And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?

Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.


Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 76214 Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/16/07 Updated: 06/04/08


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 02/01/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: In Which Tyrone Does NOT Enjoy Brief Insanity

You get some insane reviews on this story.

I'm sorry to ruin the pattern and give you an almost normal one. :]

I really really liked this chapter. Emma and Tyrone are just ... guh. I adore both of them. I want to get an "I ship Emma/Tyrone" banner made. They're very Lily/James like, actually. Was that intended, or did it just happen like that?

Sabotage, eh? I think it must be Vladislav (I have no idea if I spelt that right). Nobody would suspect him, and he came in first because of the mistake. *should be a detective*

ď,i>Youíre halfway through, four clues remain
Seek out Higgenbottomís domain.Ē

A formatting error, sweetie.

For some reason, I always call people by pet names when I point out mistakes. I have no idea why.

Anyway, this is getting better and better. I can't wait for the next chapter!

~Jennifer

Author's Response: Hello, Jenny! Imagine, it being weird to have a normal review! It\'s funny, I can\'t even remember anymore whether I intended to make the Tyrone/Emma ship a Lily/James one. I just remember wanting a contrast to the sweetness-and-light Ivy/Ted ship. I think I was actually thinking of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen-- Ivy/Ted is Jane/Bingley and Emma/Tyrone is Elizabeth/Darcy.

Whoopsies, sorry about the typo. I always call people pet names when I\'m picking their pockets. Watch out! ^_^


Author's Response:

 
Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 01/17/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7: That Romance Chapter

Wow.

I just read all of the first book in the trilogy and every chapter of this one. And they're BRILLIANT.

I'm way too lazy to go back and review every chapter, but this one was great. I love the Ivy/Ted. It was so sweet, but you still managed to make me laugh in the middle of them kissing.

Actually, you manage to make me laugh at least once a paragraph.

My favourite character would have to be Tyrone. it's a very freakish coincidence that someone in one of my original fiction stories is called Tyrone, and he was a bit of a jerk who became nice when he made friends with one of my main characters.

It must be the name. :]

And I love Jordan. Methinks I shall marry him. Even though he'd probably push me off if I tried to even hug him.

I can't wait until Tyrone and Emma get together. They are so perfect.

As for Lee, I originally thought that it would be Lee Jordan, but that seems too ... predictable for you.

I can't think of anything else to say, except I love this fic!

Jennifer

Author's Response: Wow, new Potter\'s Pentagon converts! Yeah, I\'m too immature to write a romance scene without slipping a few laughs in there.

It\'s pretty uncanny about Tyrone, especially since that\'s not a very common name. I\'ve always really liked that name, though... my mom thought it was really funny that I used to have a turquoise My Little Pony type doll named Tyrone.

So glad you like it!

 

Summary: Past Featured StoryCallie and Lia, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. A lady and a tomboy. Two opposite souls. Two sisters. Separated at birth by circumstances they are determined to discover... and undo. Yes, after being reunited, the siblings plan to reunite their parents as well. Let’s see them accomplish House Unity, too!

“It’s our rule not to dredge up past things, remember?”

This rule is about to be broken.

~Inspired by a worldwide beloved film.



Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 125007 Chapters: 30 Completed: No
Published:
11/19/07 Updated: 07/18/12


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 06/15/08 Title: Chapter 9: Friction

I have been meaning to read this for so long. The Parent Trap is such a great movie, and you’re such a great writer, so I couldn’t think of a better way to spend an afternoon. I was only going to read the first chapter and review that one, but you got me hooked, so this review basically sums up all of the chapters. :]

First of all, I absolutely love how you’ve managed to characterise Callie and Lia. Their parents are such different people, with such contrasting personalities, yet you’ve managed to bring out both sides in the twins, and they’re nothing like each other, either. I’m sure their upbringing had a helping hand in that, but it’s interesting to see the little quirks they have that remind Draco and Hermione of each other.

I loved how you put Callie in Gryffindor and Lia in Slytherin. At first I thought it a little weird, considering who has brought them up, but now I’m starting to realise how suited they are to their houses. Callie is so headstrong, and Lia is so evasive.

The only problem I’ve found is with Dionelise and Kia. I think its a little clichťd how you’ve made both girls find friends so easily within their own house, and those friends begin to fight straightaway. Also, sometimes I get confused as to who is who and who is in which house when you write, because a lot of the time you write almost all dialogue and not much description. Maybe I’m just being slow, but it makes my head spin a little. ^_^

Draco and Hermione are fabulous, in my opinion. I’m insanely jealous of your ability to write Dramione. I love how Hermione has single-handedly broken down years of the Malfoy’s traditions and beliefs. It’s so Hermione-ish. :] Draco is such a different person to how one would think he would be after the war, and I just adore how he is with Callie. I’ve always fancied the Malfoys to have a loving, familyish side to them, and she brings out the best in Draco.

My favourite parts of this fic would have to be the little things, though. Things like how Ginny is so hormonal and terrifying, and how you’ve included Pansy in there. It’s nice that Draco and Pansy managed to get over their history together, and she tuned over a new leaf too and married a Muggleborn. Also, I love how all the Weasleys dote on Lia, even though her father is their former worst enemy.

Thank you for such a wonderful fic, Joanna. It was much more enjoyable than an afternoon of revision for my Maths exam. If I fail, I’ll know who to blame. ^_^

*squishes*

--Jen

Author's Response: Jen! *squish* Thank you for such a lovely afternoon gift as well. Thanks a lot. Your review is such a boost. I\'ll always think about the little things now, since someone does notice them.

Oh, Dionelise and Kia, they had to be there, couldn\'t get past the cliche. I like to think it\'s kismet which makes us meet friends-to-be easily; we just have to work to keep them.

And I was tired of reading Malfoys (and Blacks, and the rest of the \'Dark\' families) as cold and harsh. Surely, they love their families, right?

Thanks again, Jen!

 

The Queen of May by Chaser921
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: As Headmaster Severus Snape returns from gathering potion ingredients in the Forbidden Forest, a flower catches his eye, and reminds him of a day, long-ago, when he was happy, and the sun shone brilliantly on the girl he loved.



Severus Snape/Lily Evans



I am Chaser921 of Gryffindor, writing for the November One-Shot Challenge.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2263 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/21/07 Updated: 11/22/07


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 12/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

I really liked this story! It was an interesting way to start and end it, because you were able to see the differences between the young, innocent Severus and the cold, harsh adult one. But I like how you managed to keep Snapesí character even as a young child, which can be difficult to do because he has changed so much.

The way you switched from calling him Severus as a child to Snape as an adult also helped to really distinguish how his friendliness and any caring feelings he had disappeared with Lily.

It was good how you subtly hinted at the abuse between his parents instead of stating it outright, because it showed that Severus, at ten years old, didnít fully understand why his father would hit his mother.

She probably wouldnít want them anyway, and besides, she deserved beautiful flowers, the kind that grew in fancy gardens, like roses.

That was definitely my favourite line in the whole story. It was so sweet and beautiful, and to me, it reflects Severusí feelings of Lily throughout his entire life. In DH when you learn about their friendship, Severus always seems to think that nobody is good enough for Lily, not even himself. You really picked up on the whole feeling of that with this one line.

The daisy was also an excellent symbol of Lily, who has always reminded me of a delicate flower, but still tough, like a daisy. The last paragraph in particular was really well written, because it was like the daisy represented Lily, and how she was killed when she least expected it.

He didnít have the luxury for such weaknesses anymore.

Wow. That line sent shivers up my spine.

I thought you put more emotion into the last paragraph than you did for most of the story, and it was a beautiful ending to a really sweet fic. Well done! I think you have a good chance of winning this!

~Jennifer

 

Summary: My take on the first of those 'nineteen years' between the 36th chapter of DH and the epilogue.

Warnings: contains an unusually-shaped ring, a nosy neighbour, a rude shop assistant, shaving mishaps, thoughtful gestures, threatening goblins, and, unexplained appearances of Romantic!Ron and Romantic!Harry. You have been warned.

Rating is for *mild* innuendo and *mostly* innocent interactions but I wouldn't let my 9 year old read it.

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 65868 Chapters: 21 Completed: No
Published:
11/23/07 Updated: 11/18/12


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 03/29/08 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Home Again, Home Again

I'm Australian, and this made me laugh so much. I didn't really find it offending like Silver Whisper did, because I know you didn't mean for it to be.

I just laughed every time I saw the word 'ya', and every time I saw improper sentences. We can speak properly, you know. :] Neighbors isn't the best potrayal of Australia.

I really liked this chapter, and the first three, for that matter. I was going to read the last one before I reviewed, but I wanted to comment on the rather ... interesting ... attempts at portraying Australians.

I love how you characterise Ron. He's very IC, and you managed to make him overprotective without going over the top.

Well done!

~Jennifer

Author's Response: Thank you for yet another Australian perspective. I\'m glad I made you laugh! I *did* get a lot of flack over that chapter, but you are absolutely right, I did not in any way mean any offense. I realize that Australians can speak correctly but I still say that not everyone in any country {continent! - see I\'m not a complete ignoramus ;) } would speak with perfect diction. I mean, look at Hagrid - many English people speak well and with good grammar - he does not. Ms Rowling did not mean to stereotype all English-speaking people with that character, and I didn\'t with my character. I have made changes to that chapter in my own computer; I\'m just not decided yet whether to post them. I\'ll have to think about it. I\'m thrilled that you enjoy my characterisation of Ron and I\'m pleased you think him in-character. Thanks for reading and reviewing! cj

 

Puzzles by phoe_gurl
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Random remus/tonks that i wrote ages ago and only just recovered from the depths of my computer. Remus has returned to Tonks during his time with the ferals, but it's not exactly the happy reunion that she had in mind ...

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1821 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/24/07 Updated: 11/28/07


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 11/29/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was really sweet!

I'm glad you didn't make it too fluffy, because there are far too many Remus/Tonks fics that are really romantic and sweet, and I don't think their relationship was like that at all.

You had Tonks' character down perfectly, and I loved the start, where she talks about tea and coffee. I hate them both too. :]

You had plenty of funny bits in there, which I thought was great, because it was a sadder story. You always need some lines to make you laugh.

This is one of the best fics I've read for a while, so congratulations! How long ago did you write it, incidentally?

I loved it! I've said that about five times now, but I really do!

Jennifer


Author's Response: thank you so much, it means a lot. i don\'t even remember when i wrote it, must have been over a year ago.

 

His Happy Holiday by Nez
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Severus made something for Lily. Because she mattered, and she mattered more than his parents, always fighting, for she brought his cloud to Earth. He loved her with all his being and for all eternity.



I am Nez of Hufflepuff entering for the Young Love challenge.



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Violence

Word count: 3180 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/26/07 Updated: 11/27/07


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 12/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh my Godric. Iím crying.

Youíve made me speechless, so just wait a moment until I stop bawling my eyes out.

I loved this story so much! I think I began to cry when he told Lily about not getting many presents, and I really started sobbing at this line:

It was red and gold ó the colours of Gryffindor, he thought, but at the same time realised that it didnít matter, because it came from Lily and she would always be there for him, even if she was red and he was green.

That was definitely my favourite line. It was a beautiful way to word their relationship. The whole fic was really descriptive with emotions, and you didnít just skip over them or write them down bluntly like some people do. Your writing is so beautiful. You know you can write well when you make people cry!

I only found a few mistakes:

Ö but he would but forth his best efforts.

Iím guessing you meant put forth.

He creped into the bedroom Ö

It should be crept.

Ö sleeping under a think layer of earth and snow,

That should be thick.

I canít find any criticism for this story. Itís really good. The ending in particular was amazing. You made me want to hug Severus. Before DH, I never would have thought Iíd say that. :]

~Jennifer


Author's Response: Hey! Oh, I\'m sorry if you got too upset! Thanks for the very lovely review, for saying what you liked and so forth. And thanks a ton for pointing out my typos! I went and corrected them immediately, thanks! ~Nez =)

 

Finite Infinite by lullaby BANG
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Time, it has always been a strange concept. But for Regulus Black, he has been contemplating writing a certain letter- not just any letter- a letter evoking pathos from the depths of his black heart. However, time is holding a grudge against him: he feels as though it’ll last an infinite trying to write this letter, but he knows his finality is coming for him on black horses.

He’s forced to either write the letter and send it to the addressee or forever hold his peace.


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1854 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/11/07 Updated: 12/16/07


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 03/29/08 Title: Chapter 1: Finite Infinite

I had to give you a review after that fabulous banner, Jess, and now I’m glad I decided to. This story was wonderful! Your writing is wonderful. There were some lines that just sent shivers up my spine, because you captured the moment and Regulus’s feelings so perfectly.

I think you characterised Regulus really well. He was young and confused when he first became a Death Eater, and he didn’t think it through. I really think that part of Regulus is very realistic. He was pressured by his friends to do what they said was cool, and by his family to do what they thought was brave, and then later he regretted it, when it was too late to go back.

I don’t think the books or most fanfiction give him enough credit. It would’ve been so hard to do something right, when it would be so much easier to just run or surrender. Especially since Regulus’s whole life has been spent under the influence of everyone associated with Death Eaters, it would’ve made it even harder to break away from that.

You portrayed the relationship and similarities between Regulus and Sirius really well. Regulus must have, deep down, always cared about his brother, and felt the same way about right and wrong, but he never had the same amount of courage that Sirius did, and the latter was just too stubborn and prejudiced to help him out.

You might want to fix the end of your summary: He’s forced to either write the letter and send it to the addressee or forever hold

You didn’t finish the sentence. :] Also, the sentence: It’s what he wanted to tell him. I’m pretty sure you meant to say ‘It was’, and if you abbreviate that it sounds very awkward and clunky.

He knew his death was now; it was breathing upon him already starting its decaying process. You need either a comma or ‘and’ in between ‘already’ and ‘starting’.

The last line was very sweet. It’s nice to think that Regulus got some recognition for what he did. That line made me smile, which was good, because the rest of the story made me sad. I go on about last lines a lot, because I’m hopeless at writing good ones for myself. :]

Thank you for writing this wonderful fic and making my wonderful banner, Jess. It really made my day. I hope you understand this review. I tend to waffle on confusingly sometimes.

~Jen

Author's Response: wow! Thank you for this review; it completely made my day. I\'m glad you picked up on how I was trying to portray Regulus, and I just felt this was something Regulus would have attempted to have done. And that\'s odd: I swore I fixed the summary. I\'ll fix it now, ha. Thank you, again. This seriously made my day.(:

 

Sleigh Bells by KASK
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Christmas had always been their holiday. Now, coming home a year after ruining it all, Teddy Lupin runs into Victoire Weasley. Can he make everything right? Or will he lose her all over again?

Teddy/Victoire.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3883 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/02/08 Updated: 01/06/08


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 03/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: Sleigh Bells

This was absolutely beautiful. You wrote Teddy very well. You portrayed his emotions brilliantly. They were very realistic, and I feel like I know him now!

Your style of writing is amazing. I like how you tend to use short, incomplete sentences, because it puts emphasis on every sentence, and it lets the words sink into your mind better. The repetition from one sentence to the next is a fabulous tool to use, and you pulled it off very well.

Sure Ana was exotic, if exotic meant not being able to carry a conversation.

I loved Teddy’s humour. Even when he was upset, or angry, he still made me laugh. It reminded me of Tonks a little. I think you did very well at characterising him. I could see a bit of both of his parents in him, but not too much that he was just a clone. Well done!

Did those words make sense to anyone but him?

This part confused me. With the paragraph in front of it, I think it should be her.

The interaction between Teddy and Victoire was lovely. Even with their open hostility at the beginning, you could see the chemistry between them. It was like they couldn’t stop loving each other, no matter what happened to them.

Your dialogue was really good. It was very real, but still romantic. I absolutely loved the part: ”So I got transferred and didn’t look back. I should have looked back.” :]

That whole speech by Teddy was wonderful, though. It was like all the thoughts he had had in the past few years were just pouring out, and he couldn’t get his apologies out quick enough.

This was a gorgeous story, and I look forward to reading more of yours.

~Jennifer

Author's Response: Thank you! I\'ll take your suggestions. This story needs a little work. I\'m glad you enjoyed it, though!

 

Summary: Snow covers the ground of Hogwarts, bringing the joy of Christmas with its fluffy snowflakes. Rose Weasley has grown up over the last five years at the school and a certain Malfoy has noticed. Scorpius, however, is too shy and keeps his distance, happy for the Hogwarts Express to just take him back to his family for the holiday. But, can things change between the two smitten sixteen year olds when they are chosen to decorate the Great Hall for the Christmas dinner before school breaks up for the Christmas holidays?







Written for the Holly and Ivy promt, Winter Tales challenge by FlightofthePhoenix of Hufflepuff Second place winner!

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1879 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/13/08 Updated: 01/17/08


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 03/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: Mistletoe: Innocent Decoration, or Guilty of Causing Kisses?

Aww! This was very sweet. I adore Scorpius/Rose, and the Christmas feel to this story was just wonderful.

I loved how you characterised Rose. She was so … original. :] I’ve been reading a lot of stories featuring Rose lately, and a lot of them seem to make her a carbon copy of Ginny, or Hermione. You’ve made her a true Weasley, but with her own charm. It was very refreshing. However, she does seem a little too perfect. I know it can be hard to really develop an unknown character in such a short fic, but she should still have her flaws. She was beautiful, outgoing, good at Charms, boys liked her … you need her to be a little more fleshed-out.

I wasn’t too fond of your characterisation of Scorpius, though. I’m trying to keep in mind that he is a completely new character, and we don’t know a thing about him, but still … I can’t see how Draco Malfoy’s Slytherin son could be so shy and quiet. I was a little disappointed that he didn’t have at least one smart-mouthed comeback, or a sneer. You mostly showed him around Rose, which I understand, but surely he could’ve said something to his friends when they were talking about her. I just think he should be a little less reserved.

I loved how the plot of this fic developed, but I think you could give it a little more originality. Having Neville put Scorpius and Rose together alone is just a tad too clichť for me. The rest of the plot was fabulous, and it all flowed together well, but that part could use a bit of work.

I also think you should add some more dialogue and interaction in there. Where you did have it, I absolutely loved it. You write them together very well. I only wish there was a bit more! In particular, at the end where they have a fight with the decorations. I think if you added in a little more of their reactions to each other, it would be amazing. Maybe you could have Rose blush a little, Scorpius’s hand tingle as she let go of it … do you see what I mean?

Their kiss at the end made me smile like crazy. It was perfect, and very romantic. I love how shy and innocent they seemed. ‘Now that she had officially kissed a boy’ made me laugh out loud. It kind of reminded me of me as a thirteen-year-old. :] The last line was absolutely magical. I suck at last lines. Yours was wonderful though, because it ends it, but it also makes you wonder what’s to come.

All in all, I really loved this fic. Thanks!

~Jennifer

Author's Response: *is excited* A very long review! Yeah, I can see her a little like Ginny and Hermione with some of their characteristics but not exactly like them. Looking back at her now, she does seem a liiitle to perfect. So when I write more Rosie stories, I\'ll flesh her out a bit :) With Scorpius, I tried to show the shyness of a guy around a girl. I\'m a little sick of the arrogant smart mothed boys (namely ones at school) And being influenced by his friends isn\'t good. I wanted to show he\'s different than how his father was at his age. Hopefully not all guys are bad, but some are sweet shy boys. \r\n\r\nI like your idea Jennifer! About the blush and hand tingling, I\'ll be sure to writethem into another story. I think I might write like a sequel to this story or something, either just as sweet and innocent or a little bit older *wink* I can try at least, hehe. Ha \'now that she had offically kissed a boy\' I was watching a tv show and theese kids were like, \"Well, we\'re not offically boyfriend and girlfriend until we kiss!\" So I liked that idea. But Scorpius and Rose are \'going out\' really, just crushing on each other. Well, for now *wink*\r\n\r\nThank you so much Jennifer *huggles*\r\n~Nicole

 

All He Knew by Indigoenigma
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: Love.

It could lie dormant for years before it manifested. And once it did, it stayed.

And that was all that Albus knew.


Categories: Same-Sex Pairings Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1537 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/03/08 Updated: 02/04/08


Reviewer: jenny b Signed
Date: 02/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: All He Knew

Kelly Ė

Guh. This was absolutely beautiful. I loved the style you wrote this in. Itís so poetic. Iíve seen a few fics written in this style, but yours Ö itís wonderful. You pulled it off very well. Every single sentence you wrote seems so important to the story, which they are, I suppose. There are no filler sentences in there, and none that seem like theyíre there to add to your word count. Thatís why I loved this so much.

Albus can be tricky to characterise, especially with his teenage years. Thereís so much confusion and desire that nobody imagined in him, and we donít have much information on it. Yet I think you did well in making him a confused teenager, but still the Dumbledore we knew.

Gellert is very interesting in your story, even if heís only seen through the eyes of Albus. I think (and correct me if you didnít mean this at all) he seems to know of Albusís affections even before he knows them himself, and he uses this knowledge to twist Albus into using his wisdom for his plans, even though it goes against what Albus normally would have done.

Iím glad you didnít make this a weepy fic. It could very easily be altered to make me bawl my eyes out, but I think that if you made it any sadder it wouldnít fit in with the detached feeling this fic has. Itís a good detached feeling, though. :] It really makes you think.

I donít usually read same-sex pairings, but I made an exception when I read the summary of yours. Like the rest of the fic, itís very powerful, and it drew me in straight away.

I donít have any criticism for this, because it truly is one of the most amazing fics Iíve ever read. Well done!

~Jen


Author's Response: *huggles Jen* Oh my gosh. Thank you SO much for such a fantastic review! Iím really glad that you picked up on the writing style. I tried very hard to make it as impersonal and detached as possible. I suppose that the term would beÖsimplistic. That way, it really contrasts with the complexity of the story and the feelings. Yay for noticing! You know, I donít usually read or write same-sex pairings, but I was inspired quite suddenly to write this one and Iím very glad that it turned out so nicely. And, no criticism? From a SPEW-er? Iím completely floored that you liked it that much. Iím also very, very pleased. Again, thank you so much!

 
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