Due to the fact that I am on partial hiatus and am ony coming on line for SPEW, my stories will not be updated anytime soon and no new ones will go up. Reviews will not be responded to.
Following are the banners made for my works. The later the banner, the more recent the work!
Parts Left Behind by hpluver365
A poem about leaving a part behind when apparating versus leaving a part behind when leaving a relationship.
It's Not Meant to Be by hpluver365
Harry vents his angst over what’s expected of him through poetry. As the time of the Final Battle draws nearer, he becomes more and more nervous and tentative to continue on the path he walks. The help people give him, the hope they send his way, none of it is enough for Harry on this particular day. He finally loses it and this poem shows what he really feels, deep down inside where no one has seen before.
Note: The violence and character death warnings are because part of Harry’s rant concerns the killing of Voldemort.
Light After Dark by hpluver365
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, a lot closer. That’s what Hermione’s doing when she begins dating Draco Malfoy at the request of her best friend, Harry Potter. Hermione, date Malfoy? It’s true. She’s fed up with watching Ron and Lavender play tonsil hockey in the Gryffindor common room, and wants to make him jealous. She’s also sick of hearing Harry complain that Malfoy is up to something, something big. So, she does it. However, many questions still stand. Will Malfoy accept her as his girlfriend? Will Ron become so jealous that he leaves Lavender? Will Harry find out what Malfoy’s up to? This tale captures a chunk of the Trio’s sixth year at Hogwarts, with a slight change of events.
Note: This is in the Hermione/Draco category, but it also contains Ron/Lavender and another ship towards the end. I'd tell you it, but it'd ruin the surprise. I will tell you that it is a canon ship so that those who hate fanon ships will know that they will eventually get some nice canon romance!
Few Fill Me Up by hpluver365
A Lucius/Narcissa rondeau.
Written for the Poetry Challenge for June by hpluver365.
A Spark of Bravery by hpluver365
When Neville is confronted by a dementor while patrolling in the Ministry of Magic he is forced to fight it off…alone. Can he muster up a happy enough memory? Can he stay focused whilst reliving his worst experience ever?
Written for The Best Patronus Ever Challenge by hpluver365 of Gryffindor.
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Hey There Ginevra by hpluver365
Official Summary Coming Soon A songfic to Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's. Harry/Ginny.
Official Banner Coming Soon
Official Title Coming Soon by hpluver365
Official Summary Coming Soon D/A one-shot written for DADA, first years with Prof Snape's Talon/Sandy and Challenge a Gryff. Challenge issued by Abby. Harry finds out his lead for the last Horcux is false.
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Author Page banner by Hallie
Parts Left Behind banner by Alyssa
It's Not Meant to Be banner by Priz
Light After Dark banner by Stacey
Few Fill Me Up banner by Suzie
A Spark of Bravery banner by Alyssa
Summary: The daughter of Harry and Ginny goes to Daddy's Day at her little wizarding school. Her dad is not around to be there with her physically, but she knows he's in her heart. Based on a poem called A Dad's Poem written anonymously.
That was so touching. You did an excellent job. This was a very unique idea as well. I have a few questions for you though:
1. Why did you name Harry's son Mallory?
2. How did you come up with the idea for this?
3. Do you think Harry will die in the final battle?
I only have one complaint. I felt that at times, it didn't flow as well as at other times. For example,
And she would let them all too know.
Personally, I think the flow of that line is to forced. It would make for sense if it had "like" instead of "let."
Overall, great job. This is a great and unique poem, keep up the good work.
Summary: June 19 was always a hard day for me. June 19 was the day my whole world crashed down on me. That day, fifty years ago, the love of my life died.
*Oneshot* songfic based on the song Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson. This is my first story, so PLEASE R&R!
That was a very creative piece! You tied everything really well into Behind these Hazel Eyes. I applaud you for that.
One of the things I found absolutely amazing about your writing is that you set the scenery to match the mood, much like John Steinbeck. That is quite a feat! Plus, it works really well in D/A. The rain clearly symbolized sadness, and so forth
You also used great adjectives and overall description throughout the piece. You didn’t overdo it, but there was enough to set the tone perfectly.
I also found it interesting that you added some of your *theories* into the piece, such as Ravenclaw’s box being a Horcrux.
There was never a wedding. There is not a better way to put that. The simplicity was so powerful and overwhelming, great job.
Her hair wispy, white, and dead looking, her skin pale, and wrinkled, dark shadows under her eyes. This wasn’t the reflection of a human, this was a skeleton, a corpse bride. Great imagery! You set the tone with this really well! Appearance is an important part of D/A, and you utilized that. Great job!
In the morning, Ron found me asleep, my head resting on the rim of the coffin, my hand holding Harry's. After he told me this, I slapped him, hard. I didn’t really understand this line. Did she slap him when he woke her up, or when he told her later? Try to clarify that.
You were contradictory with the dates. In the first paragraph, you said she lost Harry on the 19th, but the grave said the 16th.
Some spelling/grammar issues:
The church were his body was in was dark, It should be where instead of were.
Yes, runaway. There should be a space between run and away.
All the buildings are closes It should be closed instead of closes.
I don’t what to say to it You should add a know into there before what and after don’t.
Overall, great job! This was an exquisite piece of D/A!
Summary: Harry Potter has just finished attending Dumbledore's funeral and now has to search for and destroy the remaining Horcruxes. My version of book 7. Thank you to KDTheRavenclaw for agreeing to beta this story, I am indebted to you. Consider this story abandoned since I am too busy with my family to keep writing. I tried to submit a summery of the rest of the story, but MNFF is too picky to allow it, so I apologize.
omg. this is such a good fanfic. i absoloutely luv the plot line! keep it coming!
Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m working on it between health problems...
Rated: [Reviews - ]
This was absolutely adorable! I’m usually drawn to reading dark, angsty, depressing fics, and this was a very pleasant change of pace. I especially loved how you wrote the fic from Luna’s POV. We don’t see that much, so I found your originality very intriguing and creative. Great job. The fic was also very well written and flowed perfectly.
“It’s a lovely morning, isn’t it?” I say as I spread marmalade across it.
Priscilla gives me a strange look, glancing up at the torrential rain falling from the enchanted ceiling. “It’s pouring down rain, Luna,” she says slowly. A loud clap of thunder accentuates her words.
“Well, yes,” I say, (after all, she was pointing out the obvious) “but Nargles are nesting in this time of year, and all this rain will wash their nests away.”
That is my favorite part right there. That is just so incredibly Luna! Its hysterical! You did an amazing job keeping her in character throughout the fic. She’s a difficult character to write because of how random she is, but you did a great job. You also did a great job with the reactions of the people around her to what she said. *laughs* It was quite funny!
The one thing that you could improve on is grammar. When I’m reading through and there is a misplaced semi-colon, I find myself obsessing over that instead of focusing on the plot line. I suggest that you read through and maybe get a beta for dialogue errors and stuff.
Overall, really amazing job! I really like the style of this writing, and I hope to see more soon. Also, while I’m here, I’d like to comment on your classroom scene. I’m taking a class about classroom scenes over on the MNFF Beta Boards, and I’ll have to recommend this fic to our Prof, because you did an awesome job with the classroom! You are an all around great writer! Keep up the good work!
Summary: Is Pigwidgeon really a hyper little owl, or is he more like devious little Stewie Griffin? Find out in his diary entry, the only one ever known to be written by an owl. This is for the One-Shot Challenge - Owls, written by Lily_writes of Ravenclaw.
I knew you'd be an awesome humour writer! That was so cute! I loved how you tied everything back to canon! The nose tracking system was quite creative as well, although I do have a question about that. You said it works within a two-foot range, but what about when they are farther away? I was a bit confuzzled by that one.
Continuing on the topic of how they find their letter reciever - they can read! Hahaha! Very funny! There was one thing you said while explaining this that confused me a bit:
Harry's written this long letter to his godfather. I wish I knew what it says. I pity the owl who has to take the letter; it looks like it weighs two pounds. If I weighed two pounds, I'd look like a flying watermelon.
Okay, so first you say I wish I could read it. Then you say I don't want to have to carry it, but if you carried it, wouldn't you be able to read it?
I absoloutely love the name! When I first read it, I thought you were going to go on to how he was a prince of the British Owlery and was in line for the throne or something. *dies laughing*
Author's Response: By two-foot range I meant they were accurate in finding the exact location within two feet of where it really is. As for the thing where PIg\'s wondering what the letter says, he\'s curious about it says because he can\'t read it from where he\'s perched. Plus, when he\'s delivering it, he can\'t read it if it\'s rolled up unless he\'s got x-ray vision. :D Glad to make to laugh, it was a pleasure to serve your comedic needs.
Summary: During the years of terror, friends turned against friends. Family turned against family. None could be trusted. Random attacks on prominent wizards and witches turned up, some ending in a horrible and violent death.
A well-loved Order member is found dead in her own home along with her husband, brother, and little girl. An old friend stumbles upon the scene, horrified.
As I'm sure you are aware, we analyzed this fic in DADA first years. I thought you might be interested to see what I wrote. I really did like this. It was an interesting take on the Potterverse and on a topic not usually written about. I applaud your efforts, you did a great job.
My analyzation (I'm sorry if some of the HTML coding doesn't come through properly):
[QUOTE][i] The woman’s arm is outstretched, as if in her dying moment, she had reached for her lost little girl.[/i][/QUOTE]
This is a very clear example of love. Even in death, this woman (who I assume is Marlene) professes her love to her daughter through posture, a form of appearance. This adds to the dark/angst in the story because it paints a coherent image in the mind of the reader of a dead body reaching out of love and life. That is pretty dark if you ask me! It is also angsty, because it is almost as if she is asking for the love of her “lost little girl.” This makes the reader anxious about what is to come.
[QUOTE] the woman’s brown eyes widened.[/QUOTE]
The widening of eyes can symbolize many things. The context this quote is used in suggests that the woman’s (Marlene’s) eyes are widening in terror. For one that is easily scared, a less dramatic action usually occurs, but here, you can tell that Marlene is not one that is easily scared, thus the widening of the eyes so elaborately put in the piece. This adds a lot to the dark/angst of the story because of the symbolic fear suggested by the widening of the eyes. The reader wonders what she is scared of, what will become of her, and why she was so surprised by the events previous to this statement.
[QUOTE]He stands in the middle of the room, staring at his hands incredulously.[/QUOTE]
This tells us that the character (Travers) is surprised at this moment. He clearly doesn’t understand something, namely what has been going on with him. For Travers not to understand this, he usually must have a grasp on his thoughts, emotions, and actions, so when they were under the control of someone else, he was extremely surprised. This adds to the dark/angst of the story because of many small details. One, the prolonged silence. This sentence makes it clear that Travers was staring at his hands, thinking, for quite a bit before he reacted. This makes the reader anxious; what exactly is he thinking? Why does this come as a surprise to him? Why the sudden change in actions? Why the pause? The language used also makes this dark. “Incredulously” shows an almost skeptical take on the fic. This could easily be interpreted as dark.
[QUOTE] He shakes her brutally before pulling her hair back to force her head up.[/QUOTE]
Some of the adjectives the author used in this sentence describe the character in itself. “Brutal” is one such adjective. By the actions described here, you clearly see the brutality of the character. Travers can also be described as vicious, violent, and cruel from simply this sentence! The addition to dark/angst is brutally clear here. The reader is anxious about what will happen because of this action, as well as appalled at Traver’s actions here and previous to this statement. The violence of his movements are dark in themselves.
[QUOTE][I]Marlene wasn’t the weakling, I realize. I was. [/I][/QUOTE]
Here we see Travers' thoughts. This is all the way at the end of the fic, right before he is killed. Travers finally realises that this whole time, he has thought he was strong and other were weak, but it wasn't until his life flashed before his eyes that he realised who the weakling was. This tells us that Travers is in possesion of a healthy self-esteem, yet he realises the truth once it hits him. The statement adds to the D/A for obvious reasons. An epiphany like such always makes the reader wonder anxiously about what the realisation will bring.
[QUOTE][I]I hear Karkaroff shout the Killing Curse at me. And I welcome the green light.[/I][/QUOTE]
Another thought closer to the end of the fic, actually, the last sentence! Here we see Travers thoughts again, this time as he is dying. The fact that he is welcoming death tells us that he isn't as bad as he thinks, because anyone purely evil will do anything to evade death, as clearly shown by Voldemorts Horcruxes. Travers knows when he has failed, and what he deserves because of it. This adds to the D/A (1) because it involves death, which is dark in itself, and (2) because of the way it is put. Welcoming death is almost as bad as suicide, another dark piece, which is angsty because the reasons behind the suicide/welcoming of death are often pondered.
[QUOTE]“Cy…Cy…nusss.” ... “Cy…nusssss.” [/QUOTE]
These two lines are spoken by Marlene as she dies. The words are a plea for help and a question. The question asks in these words is simple, why. This tells us that Marlene is compassionate, because at ones death, many brode over there own situation and become angry at the killer. Marlene, however, embraces her death and instead worries over the one still living. This is D/A again because of character death, and also because of the anxious pleas she is making in her speech. The words themselves are angsty as well, simply because of the way they are written.
[QUOTE]The man sighs, bored. “[I]Liberacorpus[/I],” he says with a flick of his wand. [/QUOTE]
Here we see the pure evil of Travers. He has no compassion for the person he tortures, and is simply doing it. The D/A is easily shown in the boredom of his speech and the spell spoken, one that will torture the target.
[b]Other Characters Reactions[/b]
[QUOTE]To his surprise, Marlene turns her head to stare into his menacing eyes. Her face is soft and beautiful, despite the fatigue that mars it. “Cynus,” she whispers. “Cynus, this isn’t you.”[/QUOTE]
Again, a show of compassion from Marlene. Her reaction to Travers' pure adulterated evil is to help him, how much more compassionate can you get? This adds to the D/A because of her [B]appearance [/B] when she says this and the simplicity of her words.
[QUOTE]“Oh, Marlene,” he sobs as he kneels down next to the deranged woman. “I’m sorry, old friend.” He places his wand tenderly on Marlene’s back. “[I]Avada Kedavra[/I],” he whispers. [/QUOTE]
Here, Travers realises his mistake in killing Marlene, and instead of letting her die a slow and painful death, he quickly AK's her. This is a true example of the statement: People can surprise you. This tells us that deep down, Travers is compassionate, but it isn't usually showed. As far as adding to the D/A goes, there is death, apologies, and sobbing. Plus, the whisper he speaks in and the tender in his actions are also D/A.
Summary: No one could believe Oswel would be mental enough to go on an actual killing spree. No one could believe five people had died on one day. They're all busy sobbing and blaming themselves, but I'm clever enough to know it's Oswel's fault. It's Oswel's fault, and I don't care.
That was a very powerful piece. The title makes it seem like a humourous fiction, but it is just the opposite. I love how the story is from Snapes POV. You have him being the tough bad boy, but inside, he hurts. I'm guessing you think Snape is good.
I thought the way you put snippets of Dumbledore's speech throughout was great. You got the vibe coming from Dumbledore to stay strong, the vibe coming from Lucius that its good that they died, and the vibe coming from Snape about how repulsive it is that five people could die.
Its ironic that I'm reading this just days after the Virgina Tech bombing, they relate so much. Yoiur fic made me reflect on the bombing and the innocent lives that were lost. Thank you for giving me this oppurtunity.
This is a great piece of writing. May you continue to move your readers as you moved me.
PS When you italicize things on MNFF, you have to use these tags () as opposed to these ([i]). Those ones are only used on the forums.
Summary: Watch through Dudley's eyes as our favourite couple takes advantage of the last few hours they have left staying at Privet Drive.
Beware of some HBP spoilers!
omg...its awesome. now i know y ur so obsessed with writing this stuff, it rox! its so cool cuz its hp, but its not really something that would go into the book since dudley isnt a huge character. its like...insight on what could happen. I LOVE IT! i really want to know what happens next, so hurry up and keep writing! c u 2morrow! you should feel so special that i actually became a member and everything just so i could review this!
Author's Response: Awww! Hey CJ! That\'s so sweet! As I told you this morning, chapter two is in queue! I hope it\'s up by next week, but no promises. Whatever! I\'m sooooooooooo glad you liked it! Ok, see ya at school! PS- You should be very proud (I\'m proud of you). Your the first of my friends to actually become a member just to review! Grazzi! Luv ya!
Summary: Lily Evans has just started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and she has a lot to deal with. Homework, teachers, friends, fights. But above all...she must deal with James Potter. The insufferable git who follows her around and insists he is in love with her. Follow Lily through her first year as she deals with these things. What will happen?????
Update: Chapter 3 is in progress!
*tackles fellow Toaster and TWS mate*
Wow! I'm impressed! I think you did an amazing job of writing this from a first years POV, especially a first year that we really don't know much about. I love the personality you choose for her, the nicknames with her friends, the way she treats Potter, etc. I also think that the diary format is adorable. It's also very canon, since we know that Ginny had Voldys diary during CoS when she was a first year.
One thing: You said Professor Binns drowned on but it should be droned instead of drowned.
Overall, great job. Unique idea and awesome piece of work. I hope to see more from my fellow Gryff's!
PS This is your Gryff Review Circle review. You recieved this review because you submitted to a challenge. Keep submitting! We need house points so we can win the cup again!
Author's Response: -bows- Thankee! Should I curtsy instead? -curtsies also- Anyways, yeah, I have typos like that, but I\'ll go fix that! Thank you, and I\'m working on chapter 3, but I have terrible writer\'s block about Quidditch. -sigh- Thankee again, fellow Toaster! ~Kathy
Rated: [Reviews - ]
Wow! What an interesting concept! This is very well written! I really liked how you described the killing Brandon scene as more of a flashback than telling about it. It adds to the tone of the fic. Overall, great job. You characterized Hermione in the denial stage of death very well, and the rest just all fell into place. Keep up the good writing! (and drawing!)
Summary: Dumbledore fells in love with his Deputy Headmistress. They decide to share their love in secret. Who says love is just for young people?
This is my first fanfic. Please, Read & Review!
Hmmm....Dumbledore and McGonagall, not something I can say I've never thought of. I'm not really a big fan of the ship though. I don't know why, because they're perfect for eachother, there's just a nagging feeling...
Anyway, your fic made me rethink them. Their whole relationship was so...cute!
I thought it was kind of confusing how you kept switching point of views. Maybe next time you should had a horizantal line tag (
Summary: A dream causes recollections of a former love, and the hate she would bestow at what her lover’s become.
This story is for the New Year Challenge, specifically, the Dreams challenge, written by BloodRayne of Gryffindor house.
You know, Hadeer, I don't read a lot of fanfics. I really only read them when someone asks me to, or for classwork or something. For that reason, I haven't read that many unique, original, bunnies, but this is certaintly one of them. I thought you did an excellent job with the flashbacks in the beginning symbolozing Snape's love for Dorothy and her death. Throughout the story you conveyed the sides of Snape that we don't see in the books, and rarely see in fanfiction. I've never read a Snape romance, but this was quite good as they go. You did an excellent job portraying his turn to the good side, and leave the reader wondering what really happens. My one complaint is about this though. I would think Snape would have had to do a little more than simply convince Dumbledore. I don't feel like that was a strong enough statement. I think you should use something stronger, like, "he would do all he could to prove to Dumbledore..." Then again, thats just me.
Other than that, it was absoloutely amazing. Especially the last line. The entire think is D/A, and than there's this spark of happiness at the end. Its beautiful.
Keep up the good work,
Author's Response: Thanks so much, CJ! I see what you mean about the convincing Dumbledore part. It was a bit jerky with me as well. Thanks, though!
Summary: Read the note that launched a thousand ships.....or maybe just the romance between Lily and James...
Wow. That was a really nice bit of poetry. It was very strong and emotional. I also love the rhyming!
It would definetely be cool to have it in a one-shot where James wakes up in the middle of the night (like you) and has an epiphany. Then he writes this and reads it to Lily. She stands there shocked and...well, lets just say there's another snogging couple in good ol' Hogwarts!
Anyway, I really like this. I myself am not that great a poet but cranked one out myself. Its wierd how people can write amazing pieces sometimes. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! I must admit, I\'m a bit of a sucker for traditional rhyme scheme! Hmm, maybe I will make this a one-shot since a couple of you have suggested it to me...thanks again!
Summary: Harry Potter has just lost the last person who stood between him and Voldemort. Dumbledore respresented everything good and worth living for in Harry's life. With him gone, Harry is more alone than he ever thought he could be. Or so he thinks...
A one-shot loosely based around the chorus of the song Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas. It explores Harry's feelings after the events of HBP. Character death is hinted at.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Kansas owns Carry On Wayward Son.
*hugs fellow Toaster*
Before I get to the reviewing part...WE WON THE HOUSE CUP!!!
Okay, I'm done. Your fic was great. I really loved how you had the Kansas lyrics repeat throughout. It brought the story full circle and added to the flow.
I thought you portrayed all the characters really well, especially Harry. He was ready to burst inside, but he kept his cool on the outside, just like the Harry we know!
Overall, great piece. You really portrayed Harry's feelings and the way he made it through his devastation well. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: *hugs back* YAY! Go Toasters! lol. Thank you for the review! :D I\'m glad you liked it!
Summary: Moments after Sirius Black falls through the Veil, he meets someone he never knew existed who tells him something he doesn't quite believe...
I am Chaser921 writing for Gryffindor for the Myth and Magic Prompt
I was really impressed by how well-written this was! It flowed really well, and you used great adjectives to explain what was going on. I also thought that you had some great advice embedded in the fic, such as:
Evil always returns. It is one of the universe’s most powerful forces.
That is a very powerful, and very true, statement. I read it three times, amazed at the power of it!
I really like your explanation of what's beyond the veil. I never thought of it as being a Purgatory. I also never thought of wizard religions, so I found that very interesting to read about as well.
Overall, great job. Very impressive piece.
Keep up the good work!
Summary: The deathly hallows of a man’s mind are a dark and dangerous place; a place which one can be easily lost if they walk the line between light and dark too carelessly. It’s easy to fall in, to lose yourself. You may think you’ve not strayed too deeply into that gaping maw of death and despair until you look back up from the hole and can no longer see the light. And then… then it is too late. You will be truly gone.
First place winner of the The New Years Challenge: The Deathly Hallows
Nominated for "Best Dark/Angst" story in the Quick Silver Quills!!
That was amazing! It was very powerful and moving. You got your point across clearly but the subject itself is just full of questions. There's so much to wonder about. Even now, I'm still running this idea through my mind, asking myself questions I don't have the answer to. I loved how you ended it with a question! It just adds to the wondering!
I also loved how you put the definitions in it. They provided a sort of comic relief.
Overall, this is an amazing piece. You deserved first place! Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thank you :D And I\'m glad you like your banner.
Summary: One month following the terrible events at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape are on the run, hiding from Bellatrix Lestrange and the Death Eaters sent to capture them. A tragic loss unknowingly reveals the secret of their location, and they must fight for their lives or answer to the wrath of the Dark Lord for their treachery.
This story was written for the Extra Credit prompt: The First Chapter of the New Year’s Challenge by Gmariam of Ravenclaw and received First Place.
Wow. This is amazing! I think the thing that struck me the most was your vocabulary. Granted, you are an adult, but still. You used very sophisticated words and the entire thing flowed perfectly. The writing was just absoloutely amazing!
Throughout reading it, I thought it was just any old one-shot. Something about Draco and Snape on the run. Yada yada yada. I never actually connected it to the fact that at the end of HBP, Draco and Snape are on the run. It wasn't until your author's note that this hit me. Speaking of which...
First chapter of DH, eh? Hm. Interesting. This is a rather new take on things. It does seem plausible that the book may start out something like this, but then again, only a select group of people know at this time. I wish I was one of them...;)
Overall, I think you did a superb job with this. You used the right amount of the "D/A factor." It was almost as if I read it right out of the books...seriously!
Best of luck,
Author's Response: Hi CJ! Wow, thanks for the amazing review! I\'m so glad you choose to read this story. When I Sandy told me it was being used for DADA, I was like \"SQUEE!\" Of course, I know that opens it up to discussion and critique, but it\'s so great to know more people might read it. Thank you so much for your kind compliments! I don\'t know if JKR will go back to a more traditional start for Book Seven or something more like this, but I do hope we get to see what happens to Draco and Snape; I think it\'s more likely we\'ll just hear about it secondhand, but we can always hope. That\'s what fanfic is for, after all! Thanks again for reading this story, and for the great review!! ~Gina :)
Summary: The end of the 'Out of the Bue' universe. If you've read the other four, this wil make a bit more sense, as I have put in a few lines that link to them, but it's absolutely fine if you haven't read the other four...
Today, a long, fantastic story shall be told,
About a twilit world of dreamery,
Where two young ladies are on a journey to find,
The deepest, most desperate desires of their hearts…
That was good. I really liked the flow and the different lengths of stanzas. I think my favorite was the second stanza because of all the times it says "land." Usually, I would consider that repititon, but it sounds really good here. Great job. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Thanks for the Review! I dont think iever notice what im doing to my poems, it just happens, lol!
Summary: Is Snape truly a malicious character, or one that is misunderstood? Read his internal struggle over coming from the darkness into the light...
The Character Sonnet Challenge
One word...wow! This is even better than your poem! Awesome word choice, flow, and rhyming. This is definetely what I see running through Snapes head. I really love when you say "Rescue me from the chains that consume me." That is such a great line. I think you did a great job of portraying Snapes struggle through this sonnet. You should write more of these!
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you very much! Yes, Snape is such a hard character to portray, which is one of the reasons why I chose him. I laughed when I read that line again, \"Rescue me...\" I like that line too. Maybe I will write another soon! Thanks again for your wonderful review!
Summary: Hate me.
Hate my mistakes
And scold me
For doing wrong.
A poem about what Harry's friends can do for him to prepare for the final battle. Told from Harry's POV.
(please read and review!)
P.S. character death is just at the very end and there aren't any details or anything, the death is inexplicit.
I loved the repition! How you said:
Join my quest.
So on so forth. That was really creative and it sounds great!
I love the idea of this poem. The stanzas, rhyming, and repition are great. It is very well written.
My one complaint is I feel like it went too quickly. I wanted more, you know? In ten stanzas, you went from joining the battle to already having won it, unless I misunderstood. However, because of the way its written, it may be difficult to lengthen it...
Author's Response: Thanks a bunch for the review! I’m glad you liked it. ^_^ You wanted the poem to be longer? Wow, although that was your complaint, it makes me happy, because it tells me that you really did enjoy the poem. Thank you so much for reviewing, I had always thought that this was one of my weaker pieces…