I am a huge Harry Potter fan and appreciate the numerous talented people who put their time and effort into writing the wonderful fan fiction stories. I just submitted my first fanfic, "Harry Potter and the Reflection of Darkness". Please read and review if you have the time.
You had me quite worried that it really was Ginny in the coffin, so I'd have to say that your suspense set up was very good. The only thing I find distracting is that you tend to write in very brief sentences. Try reading it out loud to yourself and see if what you've written sounds like it flows.
Author's Response: Thanks I will do that. It's good advice.
Nicely done chapter. I thought it was interesting that Bellatrix wants something from Harry and that perhaps it isn't what he thinks. The coffin was a great creepy effect.
I'm just starting to read your story tonight, but so far I think it's really good. You definitely have me interested in what's to come. Remember that small details are really important and also staying true to the characters. Keep up the good work!
Very interesting. Watch out for typos/grammatical errors that Spellcheck may not catch - they detract from the story. I love the room made from the trees.
The trio seem a bit too lighthearted in this chapter. I just don't see them making jokes about Voldemort when Ginny is in serious danger.
I hate to be redundant, but the spelling/typographical errors do take away from what is otherwise a very interesting story. I think your ideas are quite creative and looke forward to reading more.
Your writing really improved with this chapter. I felt that the emphasis was focused much more on the emotion and depth of the characters rather than the details of their surroundings and it was a good balance. I look forward to your next chapter.
Interesting, but short. Waiting for more....
I thought this chapter was much better! It flowed well and didn't seem rushed. I do have to offer one word of caution, however. Don't just rely on spell check to catch all errors. There are some words in the story that are incorrect, but will get through spell check.
Author's Response: Yeah, I hardly ever use spell check anyways. I'm too lazy to use it. But I do edit my own work, and well I guess they just happen to get past my own spellcheck. I know what I want it to say, but it always doesn't I guess, so I'll start reading it aloud, that always helps though. Thanks!
I think you've gotten better with descriptives, but somethimes the character's emotions are a bit disjointed. For example, the group is so worried about Ginny being killed, yet Ron and Hermione spend a few moments gazing into each other's eyes. I think it jumps from one emotion to another too fast. Work on more continuity. I like the elements of the story and the correlation with Harry's dreams. Bringing them back to the Chamber is a great twist.
Author's Response: I love getting response from people like you. It really helps when you are critical. Thanks I can see what you mean. I will work on that. It definately needs to be fixed.
What a sweet ending to a story! I have to admit that I am sorry to see it end, but I think you did a great job.
Author's Response: Thank you and I have enjoyed reading your reviews. If you get a chance you should check out my other fics. Thanks for your support I have enjoyed it.
I just found your story and it definitely has my interest. I think you've captured the awkwardness between Harry and Ginny really well. The only negative thing I have to say is to watch out for spelling errors that my get by spellcheck (i.e. their vs. they're). A very minor thing, but it's my pet peeve.
Author's Response: It is a pet peeve of mine as well. However I do sometimes miss them when I'm typing at 2am...LOL And spell check doesn't always catch those kinds of errors. Glad you found your way here and hope to see more of you. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Really good chapter. Your dialogue between characters is very well done.
Author's Response: Thank you. I appreciate all the support. I try very hard to make it sound like something you would really hear coming from a couple of teenagers.
I love that you've made Harry realize that part of the reason Ginny is so appealing is that she isn't afraid to speak her mind. Again, the only negative thing I have to say it to be careful of your use of words like you're vs. your. It takes away from an other wise great story.
Author's Response: Thanks for noticing and commenting. It is a grat tool for myself. And again soory about the misuse of you're and your. I find it very ironic, seeing that I constantly ream my family for the same mistakes...LOL
Very good chapter. I love how Dumbledore pretty much gave them the okay to do what teenagers will do, but also set the boundaries - and that they respected them. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: thanks and you know that some may say that them respecting his wishes is unbelievable buy I am here to say that it is very believable as I lived it with my family.
I was surprised that Harry would suggest going to Madame Puddifoot's given his cringeworthy experience there with Cho, but I guess his sense of romance won out. Good chapter!
Author's Response: I thought about that as well. However I thought that it would make for a funny scene especially with Ron and Hermione. LOL And who doesn't like a little romance?
I loved Ron's comment about Hermione's trunk! I also thought it was interesting that all four had different addresses (or so they thought) and then ended up in the same place, just different rooms. Again, my only problems with this story are the typos, otherwise I think it's great.
Author's Response: Typos are the enemy it seems...and did you notice if you put the address together it would spell out where they were going? Not one person has mentioned or noticed. Thanks again.
I loved this chapter, especially their first kiss! I can't wait until you post again. I really like your ideas and you remain very true to the characters.
Author's Response: Thanks. It's good to see that you continue to read, even with my midnight mistakes...LOL The first kiss is always the sweetest.
I was happy to see how quickly you updated. This chapter was repetitive, but it was nice to see Ginny's reaction and Harry's. I agree with Huskers - bring on the snogging! lol
Wow - this was a really impressive chapter. I am in awe of the research you did and how well you tied it into the story. I am eagerly anticipating the next chapter.