Penname: Nevilles Girl [Contact]
Real name: Luna
Member Since: 12/21/06
Website: http://fanfiction.mugglenet.com/forum/member.php?u=8942
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
I do not own Harry Potter. I'm just a person who has thoroughly enjoyed the series and wishes to celebrate it with other fans.
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Reviews by Nevilles Girl
 

A Sonnet for R/Hr by ILRW4
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: We all know, or at least the ones who have tried, that writing a sonnet is hard, and the first one is the hardest of all. Well, this is a sonnet I wrote a while back, but just now found again. Hopefully you'll like it! Please review!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 115 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/04/08 Updated: 09/16/08


Reviewer: Nevilles Girl Signed
Date: 09/16/08 Title: Chapter 1: A Sonnet for R/Hr

Oh! How sweet!

My favourite words from this poem is "blossoming." It's such a great word to use for love, becuase love really does blossom.

I know exactly what you mean when you say writing sonnets are hard. I wrote one about love in the Harry Potter series and spent three days toiling with it after it was done before sending it off for beta'ing. Then I got it back with edits and suggestions all over the place.

I'm uber happy to be the first to review. I hope more people follow suit.

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Thanks, that means a lot to me!

 

A Pirate's Life for Snape? by Pirate Sails
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

He was tired of living in the same world as Harry-Bloody-Potter, and yet was not so obliging as to leave it by dying.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2472 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/09/08 Updated: 09/16/08


Reviewer: Nevilles Girl Signed
Date: 09/16/08 Title: Chapter 1: Potions Master to Pirate

He, he, he. Funny. I love how Snape doesn't just arrive there and say, "I think I'll be a pirate today."

I have a question: Did we indeed encounter Albus Dumbly-door?

Ay, yes! Talk Like a Pirate Day is September . . . 19? I think that's what it is.

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Snape's a lubber. Piratin' be not dreamt of in his philosophy...until he took a fateful trip. ;) Albie be Dumbly-door's ancestor, who may or may not have met an old pirate named Black Hand. Ye be right, me beauty!

 

Nott On Your Life by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Theodore Nott has had quite his share of adventures, thank you very much. Bravery has never been a Slytherin value. But when he stumbles across a corpse, Theo begins an adventure that includes carnivorous plants, bizarre food items, a disturbingly amorous butcher, lots of blood and gore, plot twists galore, the rhyme I just made, and a little bit of the Grim Reaper thrown in just to spice things up.

I suggest you read at least one of the previous Theo Nott stories ("To Be Or Nott To Be" and "Oh No, Nott Again!") so that this will make more sense to you, but if you don't, that's your funeral. Oh, ha, ha, aren't I just chock-full of puns today?

I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House, and this is my submission to Gauntlet Number Seven!

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 12138 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
11/21/08 Updated: 12/08/08


Reviewer: Nevilles Girl Signed
Date: 11/27/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: As If Things Weren't Weird Enough Already

That certainly is a little different for you. I didn't believe you when you said it would be more intense than your other stories.

There are a few typoes (typos?) like forgotten words or letters. Not so much that it takes away from the story, but enough to notice.

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: I FEEL LIKE A FILTHY ANIMAL! I DON'T LIKE WRITING BLOODY VIOLENCE! UGHHHH! These gauntlets are too much for me! Yeah, there are so many typos... I don't know how they all got in there! I use spell check!

 

Felix Felicis by Hermoine Jean Granger
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

It takes a little luck to get the potion of Felix Felicis right!

Written for Ascending into Alchemy final Fall Term 2008.

Categories: School Assignments Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1493 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/18/08 Updated: 12/19/08


Reviewer: Nevilles Girl Signed
Date: 12/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: Felix Felicis

"Dragon blood and the Quicksilver, the root of the potion" -Quicksilver? The potion has mercury in it? No wonder it gives you that high once you drink it.

Sorry, anyway. Really nice. This was so interesting! Looking back now, I realize there was no dialogue, which surprises me even more, because I found it so engaging.

My main issues with this story are some of the commas. In any case, great job!

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Hi Luna! Yes, you're right about the mercury in the potion. That was its intended purpose. The Mercury also serves another purpose: it helps to form those goldfish like drops which leap about without spilling over.:D Thank you so much for the review! And I'll get those commas sorted out. They're a little too many, I know. The fact is, I didn't have this one-shot beta'd due to time constraints, and commas are my weak point. I'll try correcting it. Thanks, once again. ~H.J.

 

I Solemnly Swear by ringobeatlesfan4
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary:

This is the story of the Hogwarts Marauders.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 585 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/14/09 Updated: 08/16/09


Reviewer: Nevilles Girl Signed
Date: 08/31/09 Title: Chapter 1: I Solemnly Swear

"With laughs and joy
And plans and pride
They took that magical world
And flipped it on its side."

>>This might be my favorite stanza. It feels genuine. Also, the words really flow together.

Your poem was really enjoyable. One thing I did notice was in every stanza, the first line works well as does the fourth line, but sometimes the middle lines jar. My main concern is that you seemed to be more concerned about rhyming than the rhythm.

I like that you stayed with the same rhyme scheme the whole time. In a poem this long it nice to have it tied together by something like that. I also appreciated the humour in your rhyme scheme. ("James Pot . . . ter".) It makes it feel likes there's a real person that wrote this. :)

Rhythm is equally important as the rhyme scheme. Whenever someone speaks, you can hear the rhythm in his or her speech. If someone's rhythm is off, his or her speech sounds really weird. Does that make sense? Rhythm troubles happen to everyone. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so if the rhythm isn't exactly to my liking I quit. (I can't even count how many times that's happened.) That's right: I'm a quitter. Kudos to you for not being lame like me.

Hopefully this doesn't sound condescending, dumb, painfully awkward, or rude. I don't mean for it to.

Smiles,
Luna

P.S. Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Luna, thou art amazing! Thanks for the concrit and comments, it means a lot to me when people aren't afraid to tell me the errors I make without hiding them subtley or trying to sugar-coat it (can you guess that this has happened to me recently?;) ). I love that you enjoyed this, and that you liked that stanza and the James Pot...ter line; in Poetry, Anyone? on the forums, a few people told me to either edit the wording or edit it out completely. I understand the bit about rhythm and rhyming a lot better now that you've explained it like that, and I'm really grateful that you took the time to let me know. None of that was "condescending, dumb, painfully awkward, or rude"; I really appreciated it. Thanks for R&Ring! {BeccA}

 

And Death Did Come by phoenix_song197
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Three brothers sought to escape death. But Death did come. One way or another, Death always comes.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 148 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/05/12 Updated: 03/12/12


Reviewer: Nevilles Girl Signed
Date: 03/17/12 Title: Chapter 1: And Death Did Come

I really love the way this poem is written, especially the repeating stanza. That little change in the last one is so simple, but it also sort of makes the whole poem work at the same time.

I also liked the rhythm. It seemed very natural, and even though you had to rearrange your sentences to make them fit, they never lost their meaning or became confusing. It was really well done and quite lovely.

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Thanks! This reply is really late, but I still appreciate the review. I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

 
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