Unspoken is now finished. I wrote the second half two years after having completed the original version, so please excuse any blatant shifts in writing quality.
More stories underway. I'm trying to write more for the sake of writing.
Please review. I love to know that I'm being enjoyed.
Whoa mama, you write hella good. :-) And I'm glad that I found another Arizonan on this site! (read your profile) Can I ask what high school you'll be graduating from?
Keep writing, girl!
Author's Response: Thanks for the compliment. Nice to know there's another Arizonan on the site. LOL Thanks for reviewing. :)
Contrary to whatever the last guy said, the voice seems typical of Hermione. I think you did a very good job. =) Maybe Hermione would never admit that she was jealous of someone else's hair, but she would write about it in her own diary, right??
Author's Response: BINGO! EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING FOR! I mean how many times do we actually say EVERYTHING we're thinking!? It would be boring if it was exactly like hermione always APPEARS in the books. I mean maybe she does have these feelings but since the books are in harry's point of view we never see them! i don't like OOC humor as much so i'm trying to be true to character, while having some fun @ it.
" His expression was not detectable"
I think 'readable' would be a better word to use in place of detectable here, but you're the author, so it's your choice.
It's also not a good idea to reveal the entire plot in the summary because your readers will know what'll happen and the story becomes a bit boring. This is a good rough outline of the story, but I really suggest you get a beta because your words would have much more power and depth if you got a second opinion. Other than that, you have nice description without letting it become too flowery and overbearing. Keep it up. :-)
Author's Response: Why does everyone tell me to get a beta? I don't want one, I don't need one. I write for FUN! Got that? F-U-N! Not for perfectionist readers!
You captured Hermione's stories very well. Already, my mind's busy with theories and guesses at what's happened to her. Keep it up. And did you mean first shot at fanfiction as in your first fanfiction ever? It isn't bad, girl! My first fanfiction (written at age 11) was-god forbid-a Mary Sue. ::heehee::
Author's Response: Yep, this is my first fanfic ever, seeing as i only now really decided to start writing being the lazy student that I am. I haven't really got the picture of what a Mary Sue is, i'd love an explantion though. The second chapter offers no explanation for what happened to Hermione (it's getting approved), that will come up farther on. Glad you like it! Thanks for the review!
Wait...what? Holy cow, that happened fast. So Harry and Ron are fighting over Hermione eh? Hehehe....:-P
Author's Response: Well, actually, you might have not realized it since i didnt say it straight out, hermione is reliving the past. The second chapter is a dip into the past, there's no more present-time Hermione form now on for a while, its all past. As for the fighting... you'll see... Heh-heh!
Wowza. For the first time, I got excited to read the fic after the summary. Magnificent!
Grr..over already! :-( I really like how this story is coming along. Brilliant brilliant brilliant.
Author's Response: Thanks for your support!
In fact, the horrendous things in this collection are too numerous to name. I wouldn't think of mentioning such things as an evil wizard, birthday presents, ghosts, an owl, or a spider-filled closet.
With all due respect,
P.S. This chapters in this collection may be read in any order you please. Although, it would probably please you more if you did not read them at all.
^-^ I'm impressed. You mimicked Lemony Snicket's style very well. For some reason, my favorite line is, "...and like most men who are big and beefy, Vernon had no neck." No clue why, though...
I must say that I've had an odd fascination with Romeo and Juliet since I saw it on an episode of "Wishbone". I like that you've worked the plot into the Harry Potter world so well, and I'm looking forward to reading more. ^-^
Author's Response: well, we're glad to help you in your r+j fascination.
I enjoyed reading this. But I'm a bit confused...at first I expected that Snape would "feed" by drinking the girl's blood, but his strength returned after he had sex with that girl....?
Author's Response: I am not writing the "traditional" Hollywood vampire. I have done some research and have discovered that "vampires" seek energy to survive. This energy can come in ways of blood, sex, emotions of others. I do hope this helps to clarify what Snape is. Also, you will soon learn in future chapters the characteristics of the vampire I have written. Hugs, Corazon
I liked this first chapter a lot, and I'm looking forward to the rest!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I have been thinking about this story for a while its just taken time for me to put together.