Penname: aliauthor [Contact]
Real name: Dont you wish you knew my real name? Its Ali
Member Since: 12/03/06
Website: no, I'm not a website. I'm a person.
Beta-reader: 1
Status: Member
please do not delete

I am a girl who lovess to write, as indicated by my username (and the fact that I am writing fan fic, possibly). Also, be aware, I am random.

Look! A bird!

I also enjoy acting, singing, and dancing in musicals. I have been the Evil Queen in Snow White, "Horace" in 101 Dalmatians, Cinderella in Cinderella, Eponine in Les Miserables, Mrs. Potts in BATB and many other roles.

I love a good parody or humor fic (coughcough schmerg_the_impaler Coughcough) and will read other fics as well.

AND I love the caption contest, in which I contribute to regularly as aliauthor or Ali when I'm too lazy to type in "author". Most recently was the 'Dumbledore is gay' voiceover caption that I completely plaigaraised from the poll that had been up for aeons...but I'm sure that's not why I won...

-Harry Potter series (no, really? Thats a surprise!)
-Anything by tolkien
-LES MISERABLES (a great book, even greater musical)
-Uglies/Pretties/Specials by Scott Westerfield (these books never get old, it seems)
-The Princess Bride (I love the tongue-and-cheek in this book that is better than the movie, though the movie is excellent as well)
-The Bartimaus Trilogy. All because of the footnotes. the footnotes are waycoolawesome and that djinn is AMAZING!

-The Dark Lord's Blog
-E-journal of an Evil Janitor
-The Harry Potter Literary Storm
-Voldy's deathpants
-are we sensing a theme here, people?

I love love love:
-Death cab for Cutie
-showtunes (yeah yeah yeah!) especially Phantom of the Opera (potterized and original) and Les Mis
-Kelly Clarkson
-Plain White T's
-lots of other music

-I enjoy blogging
-American Idol
-Going to the movies with my friends
-writing long, and sometimes short, stories. (gee I wonder how we guessed that already)

Well, there isn't much to report here, but I will report it anyway since somebody might be a bit interested.

Les Half Blood Miserables:
Thank you, schmergo, for giving me the lovely idea! It's been rejected because of the crossover fic thing, so I'm trying to make it less...crossover-y.

...After the book
ever wondered what happened to everyone before the epilogue? Like OOCness, the muffins video on youtube, and silly stories? Then this fic is for you! I sound like a commercial! It's currently in queue.

give aliauthor more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

(I got this from the lovely MJ_Padfoot)

[Report This]
Reviews by aliauthor

Summary: If Hermione hadn't met the boys on the train that first day, things would most certainly be different. Featuring Metro!Ron, Loser!Harry, Stalker!Hermione, and Smoker!Ginny.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4502 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/24/04 Updated: 11/24/04

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 09/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: Why Hermione Is Different Than All The Other Girls


I was looking for a humor story like this one, and I found it! I love the way the dialogue is written, snappy and quick.

And it is fun to imagine what life would be like for them if they hadn't met Hermione on the train...or faced the moutain troll with her, for that matter.


Rated: [Reviews - ]


Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/04/07 Title: None

Wow, I didn't have time to read all of it, but it' sounds wonderful, especially the excerpt that caught my attention while browsing stories!

Author's Response: Thank you. I\'m glad that you decided to take a peek.


The Salem Witch Trials by FullofLife
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 319]

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are spending a day in the small wizarding village of Hogsmeade when they happen to come upon a strange amulet lying in the snow. This amulet has amazing powers and transports the three friends to Salem, Massachusetts in the year 1692 when Muggles lived in fear of witches and wizards and the penalty for being able to perform magic was death.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 61269 Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes
07/30/05 Updated: 05/07/07

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

wowie wow wow this is a great story and idea! This is going into my favorites!


The Time is Now by Hermione816
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 1041]

Summary: The most succinct summary ever!! My "Book 7" told with revolving POVs from Hermione, Ron and Harry's perspectives. It's got it all! Romance, mystery, intrigue, Horcruxes, humor, international travel, house-elves, new characters, Voldy, the Burrow, and at least one wedding...

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 67095 Chapters: 38 Completed: No
01/03/06 Updated: 12/02/06

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 08/23/07 Title: Chapter 4: Sweet as Blueberry Pancakes

This is one of the chapters that I vividly remember from the fanfics I've read...and I've read a lot of fanfics!

Loving the humor.


A Hogwarts Survival Guide by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 90]

Summary: During her fifth year, Lily Evans decides to write a guide to life at Hogwarts, and how to survive it. She covers all aspects of life, and gives helpful advice on how to deal with certain scenarios. For example, would you know what to do if you realised there was a kleptomaniac in your Dorm? What if you lost your beloved teddy bear, Mr Muffles? And do you know how to push, without any force? Read on, and find out the best way of living and surviving at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ...

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 2512 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
05/23/06 Updated: 05/25/06

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 09/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Hogwarts Survival Guide

Nice! i like the subtle tounge-and-cheek, and especially Hermione's To-do list at the end.

I'm reading all the fics that have been nominated for the QSQs and that look interesting, and I'm glad I clicked on your story!

Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m really glad you liked it, and took the time to review. Thanks!


Cliché Nation by just_the_contrary
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 329]

Summary: A compilation of the most commonly used Harry Potter clichés in the fandom. Features Angsty!Harry, Sweet!Draco, Head Dorms, sudden romances in the forms of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny and of course, Draco/Hermione, because what's a cliché without them?

The Marauders also make an appearance in this fic, including Lily/Lily's best friend/Lily's other best friend.

Warning: mention of hippopotamuses inside.

Chapter Five is up! The story is done. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated this neatly tied bundle of ridiculousness in the QQ awards, I really appreciate it!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6689 Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes
06/03/06 Updated: 09/29/06

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 09/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Collection of All-Sorts

fell off my chair laughing when harry said 'breakfast options.'..

oh my gosh. I am reading all of the humor stories that have been nominated for the QsQ's 2007, and this one is, I can tell already, going to be tough to beat.

The cliches are amazing, spot-on. I am getting so tired of masqerade balls and Malfoy dancing with Hermione and they don't know who's who.

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 09/16/07 Title: Chapter 2: The New York Student Exchange

I can't type very well because I'm laughing too hard which always makes me weaka nd my hands shaky.

ONGZ! head dorms! What cliches will you write about next?

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 09/16/07 Title: Chapter 5: Bring Me to Life

We should use this as a parable for Mary-Sue writers, seriously.

I highly enjoyed this story, and it's going on my favorites list!


Last Letter by whittyleah
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Alia is to be put to death for treason against the Dark Lord. She is alone, awaiting her fate. She could despair over her misfortune, but instead she writes a letter, her last letter.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1095 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
07/02/06 Updated: 07/05/06

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/15/07 Title: Chapter 1: Last Letter

wow. This is a great story, very well written.

Author's Response: Thank you! I am glad you liked it!


Love, Luna by Marauder by Midnight
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 39]

Summary: Having a problem with a boyfriend? A girlfriend? Are those pesky Lubkin Snapzits bothering you? Luna Lovegood is here to help. An expert in all fields, ranging from pest control to homework help to wild emotions, Luna knows all.

Luna Lovegood, after her ordeal in Hidden, goes on to become an advice columnist of the Quibbler, using personal experience to teach desperate, helpless souls what she knows. Read problems submitted by members of MNFF and even suggest one yourself!

Chapter One - Destroyer of Pretty Girls

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2540 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
08/02/06 Updated: 07/30/07

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 08/23/07 Title: Chapter 1: Destroyer of Pretty Girls

Great idea! all in all I can hear Luna's voice in this, though the bit about the wooly (scrolls up to check the name) woolyshucks doesn't sound like something Luna would do.


Summary: What if Ginny hadn't been there after Harry won his Quidditch game? In his euphoria, Harry would have fallen for someone else, of course. And who could that be but the beautiful foreign exchange student, Mary-Sue!

A Mary Sue parody!

Warning: Extreme OOCness follows. All of the warnings this fic has are based on not-to-be-taken-seriously situations!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Student/Teacher Romance

Word count: 8841 Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes
08/28/06 Updated: 06/05/07

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 07/16/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1: Who is this "Half-Blood Prince," Anyway?

love it! I'm off to read the next chapter.

OOC ROCKS! ha ha

Author's Response: :D Glad you like Mary-Sue. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 07/16/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3: Masquerade Time!

Mary Sue does have a lot of influence, doesn't she?

again wonderful.

Author's Response: I know, such a brilliant girl! :D Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 07/16/07 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 6: Heartbreak and Hermione's Dilemma

very soap-opera-spoof-ish! LOVING IT!

Author's Response: *Squee* Thanks so much!


Summary: The Harry Potter Literary Storm has caused quite the sensation around the world, JK Rowling’s magnificent series of books touching the hearts of people of all ages. But what if Harry Potter was never written by JK Rowling in the first place? What if another genius was behind it?

Many thanks to the fantastic people who nominated this story for the Quicksilver Quills: Best Humour Fiction award. I'm truly flattered.

Chapter Seven, Part Five is now up - yes, that is the final chapter!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 37366 Chapters: 12 Completed: Yes
09/10/06 Updated: 01/05/07

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Little Baby Potter and the Hut Out at Sea

okay, hilarious! How about Superman! This is HILARIOUS and I think I need to take a break from reading it so that my head won't explode from laughing to hard and the anonymous authors will think, in sequence, that its a bird, a plane and superman.

oh, boy! HILARIOUS! This is going onto my favorites list!

Author's Response:

*Blushes* And that\'s just chapter one...
Thank you so much for this enthusiastic review. I\'m smiling so much...

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two: A Hoggy, Wartsy Happening

"yes, I am Comically afraid of spiders!" made me bust a gut. I'll be back after the nice folks at the hospital fix my innards.

Author's Response:

Youch. I never thought I\'d need insurance for this kind of thing.

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two: A Hoggy, Wartsy Happening

okay, Happy O'Brien sure is a genius...LOL

Author's Response:

Heck yeah. *Pats Happy*
And he now loves you, by the way.

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three: The Furry Teacher

I love how they totally cannot tell what Lupin is!

Author's Response:

^^ Hehe. It\'s an utter mystery... I was so tempted to write the scene when they found out. It would be like, \'OMG! This explains why you\'re short, furry, have four legs and a snout and have to wear that flea collar you insist is a fashion statement!

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four, Part One: The Next Book About the Guy With the Thing

the questionably sane ex-Auror

Snape did not seem to appreciate being called a hooligan.

“Now, now, Mad-Eye,” Dumbledore tut-tutted sternly. “You know perfectly well that I don’t believe that Severus is a hooligan. Not any more, anyway. Now, he’s just a sallow, mean-spirited Potions Master.”

those are my favorite linesd. THIS IS THE BESTEST HUMOR STORY EVER!

Author's Response:

^^ THANK YOU! You guys really make my day(s)

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Four, Part Two: The Next Chapter About the Next Book About the Guy With the Thing

“Ack!” he cried tragically. “I’ve been cursed with a curse that kills ruthlessly and instantly!”

I love how Cedric is so incredibly thick!

Author's Response:

Yeah, poor baby. I felt worried that every Hufflepuff would come after me, but hey, at least he lived?
And the really thick one, I think, is undoubtedly Martin Malovski Saint Clair.

Reviewer: aliauthor Signed
Date: 01/06/07 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Five, Part Two: The Flashback Extraordinaire Man Of Geniusness

the nose thing is such a cool running joke! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

Author's Response:

I\'m so glad you think so - I never know when the line between funny and just plain stupid is fading, but... yeah, thanks!

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