I am a married stay at home mom with a beautiful five year old son named Mackenzie. I love nature and animals. I have cats, a dog and a parrot and I volunteer at a school. Near my home was a beautiful forest I have played in all my life and though thousands of people protested it's destruction, it has been devasted for another highway. I started writing to take my mind of the loss of my favourite childhood place. The story I hope will be accepted includes the actual valley I mention here, but in the story things turn out differently. My hope is that humans will learn to share this beautiful planet with animals and respect nature. My son got to visit this valley until he was four and that's when the bulldozers rolled in and clear cut and rerouted the natural stream into a cement culvert. He cried. We all did. Actually, the valley thing isn't prominent in the story. It just kind of sneaked in there because of the way I was feeling when I started it. Well..........that's about it.
Okay, it's Earth week. so happy Earth Weekl! Hopefully, a new chapter will be up soon. Thanks! P.S. please be kind to the planet, it's the only one we've got! Green spaces are important!
OMG! A cliffhanger for the first chapter...I can see we will see terrible things from you....terrible, but great......ha ha! but being serius, I love cliffhangers. The ending has stuck in my mind so much that I almost can't give a well rounded review before I go find out what happens next!...but I will try. I like a story that makes me think, and right from the cube in the MOM to the 'French visitor,' I am left in awe at amazing attention to detail that you put in these characters. So many authors on these sites start out strictly with canon characters, and thus, they can end up very similar, but you have taken the time to not only stray from the mundane, but to intrigue us with the first two characters we meet in the story, and that is very refreshing. The character of the wizard M.E. Cass, is very interesting, and I wonder why she is resigning. You have given us plenty to think about even about the dead person. The trackers are a fascinating idea and it will be interesting to see if they can pinpoint who this person is through records at St. Mungo's.
I think it was wise to include Harry and company in the first chapter as well, to satisfy readers who are very stuck on the 'golden trio' I have heard of people who won't continue reading if they don't see Harry and company in the first chapter at all.
I love how you get Harry out of the house too. He wouldn't believe that Aunt Marge would want him, but he could certainly believe that the Dursleys wouldn't want him alone in their home. I liked that you had Dudley be the one to atagonize Harry the most as it fits better this way.
The description of the car crash was fantastic and so detailed. I could picture it in my mind easily. Poor Harry!
I loved the early look at Tonks in training...you have her down pat for sure. This is one of the most polished stories I've ever read, and you are very talented indeed. Thanks for the most enjoyable reading! On to the next chapter! Bravo
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for taking the time to leave such a detailed and thoughtful review!!! I'm extremely impressed by your insightfullness. I appreciate your comments about Cass, especially because I was worried about incroporating non-cannon characters AND starting the story with them. I tried (or am trying) to give Cass and William their own personalities (which is difficult because JKR has already covered almost the full gamut of personality types) as well as give them an ultimate purpose in the story, as, I think, adding extaneous characters for the sake of just adding them is just a lot of work, can confuse the story, and then there's no payoff (which is what we're all interested in!). I'm going to do my best to try to incorporate them seemlessly into the story (if all goes as planned). If you look at the structure of the first chapter, it naturally divides itself into two separate chapters, but for the reasons your acticulated nicely, I decided to combine the 2 chapters and include Harry. I'm glad to see that it might have been a good idea. Another thing that that really interests me is character motivation...Why would someone do something? What would they think? How would they react? For example, it took me a long time to think of a way to get Harry to leave with the Dursley's and incorporate Marge somehow (I mean, he's not an idiot and he definitely doesn't like Marge or the Dursleys and probably doesn't trust any of them). Getting multiple characters to behave consistantly cannon-like is a challenge for me, so thank you for noticing that small point; you don't know how gratifying your comment is! Yes, Tonks!!! She's great...she'll be showing up later on. Thank you again for you comments - looking forward to any reviews you may provide in the future!!!!!!! :)