I am a married stay at home mom with a beautiful five year old son named Mackenzie. I love nature and animals. I have cats, a dog and a parrot and I volunteer at a school. Near my home was a beautiful forest I have played in all my life and though thousands of people protested it's destruction, it has been devasted for another highway. I started writing to take my mind of the loss of my favourite childhood place. The story I hope will be accepted includes the actual valley I mention here, but in the story things turn out differently. My hope is that humans will learn to share this beautiful planet with animals and respect nature. My son got to visit this valley until he was four and that's when the bulldozers rolled in and clear cut and rerouted the natural stream into a cement culvert. He cried. We all did. Actually, the valley thing isn't prominent in the story. It just kind of sneaked in there because of the way I was feeling when I started it. Well..........that's about it.
Okay, it's Earth week. so happy Earth Weekl! Hopefully, a new chapter will be up soon. Thanks! P.S. please be kind to the planet, it's the only one we've got! Green spaces are important!
Good beginning. You're right, Sirius being alive would be a good thing. I still loved OOTP, but that was a major ouch for anyone who liked Sirius's character. It's cool to see one where it many be reversable.....I'll read on to see. Nicely done. I toyed with the idea of having him live in my fic on this site too, but chickened out, so good for you! so far so good!
Wow! Again, I didn't see that coming. I still love the in depth character evaluations that your brilliantly styled story provides us with. I wouldn't have thought of a Weasley being so tempted by wealth, but after thinking about Ron in canon, it makes sense. I don't think those kids realize yet what they had as kids, as opposed to what they didn't have. I hope he is regretful about his decision (Bill I mean) I tend to like all the Weasleys in harmony, even Percy eventually, but even if it doesn't happen, this is a truly awesome story!
Awesome! and I'd never considered that the dark mark could work both ways...so that was brilliant, and as I'm a nature lover, I especially liked that Draco appreciated the pine forests outside his room. I'm glad you didn't deny Draco's past, because he did take pleasure in tormenting others, but I love the self doubt that he is now having. people can rarely change in my opinion, but you have made this believable even to me. I think Draco may just be becoming a man of his own, or is at least now at a cross roads as to where he sits in life. It must be awful to think that his mother hates him, but perhaps we will see later, that she isn't as deadly as she has appeared to the boy in the past? With the war heating up faster and faster, it is apparent that people must choose sides quickly. This chapter is definitely 10 out of 10!
HI! Great chapter! I loved the jealousy between Bella and Narcissa. I wonder if Bella's husband knows anything about this, or if we, the reader will find out. Voldemort's book is fascinating and well thought out and detailed. Now we know why all of the kidnapping's turned out. I am waiting to find out who still waits in Azkaban. I think I know, but I'm not positive as this story has a lot of really interesting turns. I can't wait for more and good luck on your revision.
Author's Response: Thanx for reviewing. The guy left in Azkaban isn't anyone relevant to the plot, he's just a prisoner. I wrote about him to add to the effect of how awful Azkaban was and how desparate the people are to escape -- and also to show how cold Bellatrix is by not persuading the DE's to free him, too, even though she knows what it's like.
HI! Very good story and I reallly enjoy it coming from Percy's point of view. One day, I'm going to try my hand at writing directly from a specific point of view like you've done so well here, but for now, mine is written in story format in a general format. I admire this writing because it allows us a glimpse into Percy's inner thoughts. You have him down pat, in pain, but still logical and trying to figure things out. I'm off to read the next chapter to find out if this attitude sticks around or if he becomes a scared, normal person. Great start!
Wow~! and here I thought Percy was so nasty. I loved your description of the transformation into Percy. I hope later on, you will show some regret on Mr Weasley's part, because although 'Percy' deserved the harsh beratement, I think Arthur would feel crappy about that later. He's a good father. Peter is so interesting in this story and I've never seen him written so well! Awesome!!
I am really enjoying this story! I've never seen this format before so it's very original! I love the in depth look at everyone because usually, one only gets to see the in depth of the three main characters, which you would do very well too. It would be kind of neat to see you write from any of those characters pov too, even though we already know them so well, or so we think... I'm sure you could put a new spin on things! Anyway, great chapter! Do you post elsewhere?
Usually, new characters are not as interesting as original canon ones, but yours definitely is! I love your style of writing and it flows so naturally and is so believable! I hope somehow, that she and Percy can at least talk to one another! I took a chance and added a new character to my story, and so far so good with that for me too, according to reviewers. My beta told me not to let a new character take over a story, but just to let them enhance it, and I think you've done that beautifully! I've added you to my favourites list and you are the first one on this particular site. Great story!
This just keeps getting better and better! I'm not sure at this point what Narcissa feels, but it's just like when people feel sorry for human prisoners, but don't give a thought to all the poor animals who are mistreated every day at the hands of so called shelters and such. It's like Percy is at least human because he's a pure blood, but the the muggle isn't because......she's just a mudblood. I wonder if Narcissa will see through her class problem or not. This story is thought provoking for sure!
Bloody Brilliant!! I have never seen anything written from an owl's pov and I'm an animal lover, so this was a definite ten of ten for me! I'm so glad I found this story! Am I guessing that Peter is losing himself a little. It is so clever for you to explain the letter Ron received on OOTP!! Wow!! I still hope Arthur chills a little if you do a chapter on him. Maybe a few happy memories of Percy as a child before he got so serious or something would soften his attitude toward his 'wayward child' He seems so gruff, and think he would be both stern, but sad at the same time. Ten out of ten for sure!
I have to admit that taking time to review is hard at this point because I desperately want to keep on reading, but with great stories like this, one has a duty to review! I am so enjoying getting to know the characters and if you write a chapter on Ron getting the letter, all the better! that would be neat because I know you'd cover stuff that OOTP didn't. I love this story, and with the way you've done it, you could easily add any character's pov at any time you felt like it. Awesome and I wish I could write like you!
Excellent and now I've come to the end of your validated chapters!! Oh no! I do hope that the Weaslys are not as bad as they are being painted as at the moment. Percy is a main character in my story as well, around the middle of my bood which is over 700 pages, and I've tried to explain his actions as best I could in it. In mine, it takes one more very foolish action on Percy's part to make him realize his mistakes. Maybe you could check it out sometime if you get time.....but it's probably better if you just keep writing this, because I'm so anxious for another chapter! Are you writing as you go, or just waiting for validation of your chapters and have the story complete? Awesome! Thanks!
Author's Response: Thanx for all the reviews Diane!!! I haven't had time to read your story yet, but I will. I read on your Personal Information about your forest near the home being destroyed. It made me so sad! Thank you very, very much to everyone who reviews, it means loads.
Another fantastic chapter! I found it very realistic that Ron would feel almost glad that something had finally happened. As Harry's best friend, it would be natural for him to have the same angst filled anticipation that is almost unbearable. Of course, Ron doesn't know yet how big a thing has happened, so his reaction will be interesting and we will see if one has to be careful of what they wish for...because they just may get it. Having Hermione at Krum's house sets up for a whole new plot line for later for your readers to enjoyas well, as we all know how Ron feels about Krum. Harry's moments of confusion are very well done, and as your sample paragraph of this story states, it almost makes you want to just hug him and tell him everything will be okay. I like the build up of 'Oh damn, where I am I if it's not Hogwarts.' Another brilliant chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you for your continued reviews! Yes, Ron does seem to inadvertantly get what he 'wishes' for, doesn't he? I can't believe your perceptions about Krum!!!! At risk of spilling the beans here, I'm just going to say it because I'm simply awestruck - Krum & family/Durmstrange are going to be important components in future parts of the story as well as the Hermione connection. Let's just say that it'll be interesting, to say the least, for Ron. Are you sure we're not writing the same story!??!?!?!? Thank you again for your comments!
I really like Ginny in this fanfiction. I think readers will see much this same for her character in upcoming books in the HP series. It is realistic based on what we know of Molly to see that Fred and George haven't jointed the Order yet, but I'm sure with them that they are doing their part somehow, even if it's behind Molly's back. The fact that it is Ginny who jars Ron into taking part in listening in on their parent's conversation has me wondering if he is now regretting being relieved that something has happened. I liked when arthur put Harry in the past tense with 'was' a sixteen year old boy and how Ron and Ginny reacted to that. I read the other reivews for this chapter and like one of the other reviewers, I too am so glad that we know Harry is alive. It has enough drama even with us knowing that fact and it is a nail-biter for sure, just reading about Harry's friends not knowing where he is or what's become of him. You have a knack for getting in the good lines like when Remus is almost hearing James in his head when he flies off after having found the wand... wow! It was very clever to mention and underworld trade in unregistered wands. I'd never thought of that, and that will come in so handy for the rest of your story...good idea! It's also wise to put in Hary's DOB since people will probably want to make reference to that if the Muggle photo that was found on the corpse at MOM is mentioned again. Your attention to detail make this intriguing but easy to follow, and I find you don't insult your readers with too much information. You give us just enough so that we can have some fun trying to figure a few things out for ourselves like a good mystery novel roled into an HP book. I am enjoying this thoroughly!
Author's Response: Dianne- I'm not sure where your nack for picking out details comes from, but it's sure accurate!!! Your reviews could be very very dangerous for me because I'll end up revealing the entire story before I've even written it (self-control is not my strong point)..lol!!!! :) Once again, you are spot on *twilight zone music plays quietly in the background*. Lupin is another character that really interests me as he's the last marauder faithful to "the Light" side and our most direct and personal connection to the pre-Harry era. He's lived through two wars, had to deal with the pain of watching his friends die one-by-one, come to grips (or not) with the Wormy's betrayal (grrrr) and Sirius's 'redemption' and then corporeal death, and now the reality of Harry's impending destiny is coming into sharp focus. I think that it's only natural for Lupin to have some 'issues', especially concerning Harry (perhaps projecting some of his own 'survivor guilt' onto him and inappropriately believing that he should shoulder the sole responsibility for Harry's survival as an effort to justify Lily and James's deaths?). Doh! Might've said too much again! Poor Lupin *sniff*! If anyone is the series (besides Harry) needs a happy ending it's LUPIN! That's ALL I'm going to say (I've said too much already!) :) As for the rest of your comments, I agree completely. Thank you for mentioning the clarity issue in terms of laying the groundwork for future parts of the story. This is the ONE MAIN component that I've been wondering about (am I too obvious or not obvious enough?). I look foward to more of your feedback.
OOOOhhhhhhhh! The very title of this chapter sends chills down my spine. Kind of reminds me of something Stephen King would title something...creepy, given Harry's vulnerability in a Muggle hospital with no wand and no one to save him. Once again, you allow the reader to let their imaginations run for awhile before you get to the dirty deed that is to be done upon poor Harry, and that's awesome because the lead can be just as exciting as the end to the deed and you let us enjoy that. Poor Harry having to come up with telling the nurse that he went to St Brutes. Good thinking on his part though. So far in canon, Harry has a very big conscience and you have carried this on very well with his heartfelt guilt and self examination that he has regarding why on Earth he would feel sad or guilty for Dudley and his aunt being dead. I agree with you on this and I think he would feel terrible about it. Kind of like a weird version of Stockholme syndrome or something. It's all he's ever known with the Dursley's, abuse, but from his experiences at Hogwarts he knows that it's normal to love your family, so he is left confused as to how he should feel...wow, that is a lot for him to swallow and especially with his uncle confirming his worst fears, that it's all his fault in the first place....there's years of therapy waiting to happen! I feel Uncle Vernon was very much in character the way you portrayed him. I like the race against time as we learn from the people at the coffee shop that Harry's location has been pinpointed by the enemy first, and I can't wait to find out what happens next! Great chapter as usual!
Author's Response: I think you are absolutely right about Harry. He does have his plate full and has a lot to deal with. I can now say this because the new chapter 9 is now posted (and chapter 1 obviously)...DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL. It's not too great of a coping mechanism for the long term but it sure quells immediate pain! I've never thought about the the Stockhome syndrome thing....interesting. The similarities are distrubing. I guess that poor Harry is truly an abused kid as he's been subjected to verbal and physical abuse (I would categorize practical starvation as physial abuse) from a socially dysfunctional family. I guess growing up negleted emotionally and physically and shunned socially (thanks to Dudley) wouldn't help the situation either. In fact, Dumbledore's behavior can be interpreted as very exploitive and manipulative (would he really have cared if it weren't for the prophesy?). It's a wonder that Harry isn't a raging psychopath who hacks up kittens in his backyard or something (or Tom Jr.)! Yeah, but any way you look at it, he's messed up in a major way - thankfully this is fiction!!! On another note, it's nice to know about climax build-up and resolution because I seem to have a hard time with that *coughthenewchpt8cough*. Thanks for your review - you always have a knack for getting me to think about something new.
All I can say is wow! and that''s not even enough. It's two thirt am and I'm still up reading this for the second time because it's addictive. The first time I read it, I didn't review because I wanted to see what happened next so badly, so now I am back to review on second reading. I should say I only read exceptional stories more then once and this is definitely exceptional. I loved Harry's instincs in grabbing the pen in a mistaken thought that it was his wand...that would certainly look insane to a nurse. The description of the horrors Harry goes through in trying to occlude these people from invading his mind and stealing his memories was riveting. The poor kid won't even know what they stole from him because of the way they did it. I am wondering if it something to do with Snape... that they are after for now, and if Harry reveals anything it will go badly to say the least for the Potion's Master, but who knows what it is they want...well the Prophecy for sure, but what else? "When Harry is floating above himself, we are kind of left wondering if he is near death...and then he falls off the bed and the restraints are off him. You definitely know how to keep people reading! Perfect!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your encouragement! It makes me really want to get back to writing which I currently can't do because of other committments (I'll be back mid-May to finish chapters 14-16 and then ready to post the next chapters)! That's not the last time these mysterious wizards will show up and you'll see what else they're after. As far as the 'floating' thing goes, that'll be touched on in the new chapter 12, but there's plenty more where that came from. Also, you bring up an good point...what's going with our favorite potions master and where is he anyway? Thanks for you review (again)!!!!!!! I really really appreciate the time you take to comment and the fact that (this time) it was 2 in the morning! I hope you're not too tired! Ta ta!
Excellent as always. I must say I like your writing style very much. I loved this chapter from Hermione's POV, right from her desperately alone feeling while in Bulgaria to her wonder about death...how could someone be there one day and gone the next? I don't think there is many people who haven't asked themselves that very question and therefore, you have really connected with your readers. I like also that Ron automatically thought of Snape as the spy as this gives you any number of ways of continuing on with that plot. I personally like guessing exactly who Snape really is inside while the writer gives us hints as to what he is up to without giving away too much until the time is right. Snape is definitely one of the more fun to play with characters. I can't wait to find out what Harry has lost in terms of memories and the purpose for the specific search through his mind...to find out what, and again, it was intersting that they seemed to take something after a Snape memory......hmm. Are they perhaps wondering where the Potion Master's loyalties really lie? I know there is more to it then that, but that was interesting for sure! Molly's character is so right on in this fic, still trying to protect her children even when things have gotten this bad...it rings very true. Ginny is coming along nicely character wise as well, I'm liking her strength, while I'm liking Ron showing some sensitivity...in some fics, Ron is very under rated and writer's tend to relate his character to more the movie version of Ron rather than the book Ron. and there are some differences. I think I see Ron like you do...not so much, 'why not follow the butterflies,' but more, 'right then, let's do it.' just a little more brave and worried for Harry's well being...you have done very well with Ron's character! I continue to be amazed by you attention to detail...the way Hermione looks at Ron from across the room, seeing his eyes reflecting the light. You paint a very clear picture of Harry's condition even from just reading the other character's reactions to seeing him. You are a gifted writer...and now, off to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review and your compliments! They really mean a lot!!! I'm going to sound like a broken record, but it really seems like we're on the same wavelength here! I agree with you about Ron ("Why not following the butterflies?!?!? *Snort*!). In fact, Ron is one of my most favorite characters (I can't wait for him to do some growing up)! Very perceptive of you to notice Ron's Snape-the-spy accusation. I put that in there on purpose as it does lay the groundwork for all sorts of things... I myself, am still undecided about Snape...I'm not quite sure what the deal is with this character. I do have my ideas/theories, but so far they're not quite well thought out. One thing is for sure though, I better figure something out before he shows up as a major player in this story (this clock is ticking!!). Argh! Thank you again for your excellent feedback (how many times can I say that!?)!!! :)
HI! I don't think I've ever seen so much wonderful content in one chapter before. Right from Molly's fond memories of the burrow to the bottomless cauldron, which was a great idea by the way. Molly is somewhat angry with Dumbledore for having allowed 'the children' to see Harry and stuff, but I suspect poor Dumbledore may be over compensating for having kept 'the children in the dark for so long, particularly Harry. Harry would want his friends to be there for him and I think the Headmaster now realizes that he cannot protect Harry from the truth any longer. He will be hunted until Voldemort is gone. Poor Molly is still trying to keep them innocent and poor Dumbledore is trying to make up for trying to keep them innocent for too long...what a painful precament for both of them! I hope one day Molly doesn't keep something from the children that she will regret like Dumbledore had in the past, always looking at the poor boy and seeing that he is still too young, alas no one will ever be old enough to have to deal with Voldemort, but he must at some point....so I like that now that Dumbledore has started to pluck up the courage to include those that must be included in the business, that there is still someone who will see to the 'kid' aspects of their lives, and who better than Molly? I think Dumbledore will have a better relationship with Harry now that he will tell him the truth as far as he can anyway. I don't think Harry ever knew how deeply Dumbledore cared for him where he had known for awhile how Molly feels.
Harry must be in very bad health for Poppy to consider giving him Asphodel! I wonder if Harry will remember that horrible night. When he calls out,'mum' I nearly cried! because just before Molly had been think of the child who just walked into her life not understanding what a mother does for her children...I guess he does after all...snifle!
There was so much action and drama packed into this one awesome chapter that it is difficult to review in order. The dream of Molly's is intriguing and very easy to picture based on your description. I can't wait to see if this becomes a repetitive dream with more details. Poor Molly, feeling guilty that Harry awoke when she was away for such a short time...just like a mother. Another awesome and action packed and yes...snifling inducing chapter. Well done!
Author's Response: Another wonderfully encouraging review!!!!! THANK YOU! This chapter is compliments of mstiquerose who suggested that I add it (after very nicely telling me that I pretty much cut off the entire climax of this part of the story - which I did)! I'm trying desperately to restrain myself right now because I'm just about to spill the beans again! Urghhhhggh. What can I say?! Well, yes...there's some stuff in this chapter and the next that elude to inter-personal 'issues' that will play a huge role in the future plot. Dumbledore, is beginning to realize that he can't protect everyone all the time (even though he'd like to). The little 'show-and-tell-Harry' escapade is really just the beginning...there will be more preprarations for the relalities of war. After all, it's not just Harry that needs to be ready...for stuff. And Dumbledore is human as well and isn't infallible (at least I like to think so). Asphodel...does NOTHING get past you!?!??!?!?!??!?! I wasn't originally planning to have Molly play such an important role in Harry's life, but it just sort of turned out that way somehow (the keyboard made me do it!). But, I think that it makes things a little more interesting...especially the dream. That was so much fun to write!!!! I really look forward to more of those. You'll see if Harry remembers anything, I promise. Poor Harry, is brain is really addled...
A ten out of ten for sure. With all of the information you give in the chapters, I am amazed at the easy flowing continuity. With Ron and Ginny at the beginning of the chapter, doing normal things like getting breakfast, and at the same time, knowing that something is definitely not right. You can almost feel Ron's inner grumblings, like, if I don't think about why mom and dad aren't here this morning unexpectedly, everything will be alright, but then he admits out loud to Ginny what they both know...something is wrong. I like Ron's thoughts that Voldemort has interfered enough, and it seemed to strengthen his resolve that enough is enough and he needs to help Harry, at least that't the way I took it. I like to see Ginny in this scene in a significant way, because I think that realistically in the books, she will become more of a major character and I liked her intuition on the subject of her parents being called away and what it all means. I liked the mention of Fred and George very much because I feel that they are going to be a force to be reckoned with soon, and the joking around is all just a part of their training, even if they don't know it yet. The meeting where everyone must learn that Harry is missing was very well done. New characters are explained in such a way that they won't be lost in plots later on. Some writers give us a new character with no background at all and expect the reader to remember who they are in a sea of names later on. I am certain this won't be the case with your characters. Your attention to detail and polished work is something you should be be very proud of. I liked especally Remus and Molly's reaction to the news of Harry missing. An excellent chapter! Now, off the the next!
Author's Response: Again, I'm blow away by your observations! You seem to have really hit the nail on head on well...everything (is that possible!??!?) - Ron especially. I think that Ron, above most other characters, has sooooooo much potential as far as character development goes - he's a virtual gold mine!!!! *Rubs hands together gleefully and laughs* Ginny is also pretty interesting as there's less about her in the books which leave lots of stuff up to individual interpretation...;) Gred/Forge...how did you pick all of that up from just the mention of their names??!??! Are you sure you're not psychic or something? Honestly, I'm blown away!!!!!!!!! Yes, the twins...they always have a plan brewing, don't they? They'll make an important appearance in (the new) chpt 11. Just because they're no longer at Hogwarts doesn't mean they can't contribute! Thank you again for your comments and insight!!!!! I'm flattered by your review - you really seem to have an intuitive sense of HP cannon-characterization!
OOPS! I was so wrong about Dumbledore finally opening up to Harry in the last review...hmmm. It seems that just as poor might actually give in and show some hurt in front of Lupin, someone walks in, just like all the moments when he needs to let something out...I hope he gets to lean on someone when he can remember doing it so he can take comfort from it...like maybe when he sees Molly for a minute when they are alone and maybe he could suddenly remember having cried out, 'mum' to her. He would be scared to actually talk about that though even to her probably...You have some of the best charm ideas around...the Extortumency charm and Sympathetic Life Binding charms were well conceived and named, almost like you based them in Latin...so fitting with the story. It figures the Dursleys would have had to have some sort of compensation for their protection of Harry...as void as that was for his life. I like the stolen memories...hopefully someone will think of how multi layered memories really are...like could they steal a memory of the memory, or a dream one had of the memory? example, Harry has a bad day with Snape, he dreams about it several days later...while the dark wizards are stealing his memories, can they get the dream he had about the day as well or would they miss that? I have no idea why I thought of that, but memories are stored in so many ways, like full vivid ones or simple deja-vu. Would they have collected everything from that memory or will there be lingering smells that Harry can't explain or feelings like he'd done this before.....perhaps that's what a lot of wizards deja-vu's are...stolen memories that have some threads left in the mind....okay, I know, toooooo deeeeep! but the mind is a complicated thing. There is just so much you can do with this concept so you should run with it if it fits in anywhere later. I don't know if you intended for that one little thing to be so thought provoking, but each reader will think differently on that stolen memory charm. It's too bad that the Imperius is an unforgivable because the Dursley's didn't deserve anything in return for caring for their nephew. They should have loved him unconditionally from the start. I am so glad Harry will go to Potions next term because I think most readers like the interaction between the Potion's Master and Harry, it's kind of a staple plot wise for most canon based fics. I do not know how you do it, but I am hooked on this story and you truly have some really amazing ideas. It is a real treat to read this story! Thanks!
Author's Response: OK, this is just too bizarre!!! I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT LINKED MEMORIES!!??! Honestly, no kidding, I've been thinking about this (God, I hope anyone else reading this doesn't just think I'm a total moron or something. I swear, I'm semi-normal.). So, I'll e-mail you and give you the goods on what I'm thinking of doing with this if you don't mind spoilers because it's got my brain in a bunch. Yes, there's much potential for really interesting things. I think this story is beginning to get out of control...It wasn't supposed to be this long...or so weird...I was just bored one day...really... On another note, thank you for your compliments about the charms. I enjoyed thinking them up. In fact there's some other stuff that I just can't wait to stick in! But alas, I have to be patient. Someone needs to invent something that just transcribes your thoughts straight onto paper - forget typing. Snape is coming. He's in chapter 12 and 13...greasy and Snape-ish as ever. Great review and most of all, thank god I'm not the only one who seems to have these thoughts!!