I'm just starting this fanfiction thing, and mostly I think I'll be experimenting with my writing style through it. I'm just working on my first few fics, and in the meantime, I'm reading all sorts of great stories here.... all of which was true four years ago when I wrote it, but is still pretty accurate even now.
I studied English and Theology at the University of Notre Dame before graduating and moving elsewhere. Like many others on this site, I have designs to be a writer. In an ironic twist, I focus mainly on poetry, but will only be posting stories here. My poems aren't really applicable to HP, but I do think this is a good place to work on my prose.
For years, I have kept a green notebook for all of my creative writings/ sketchings/ musings/ collectings/ occasional homeworkings. It's similar to the commonplace book, if any of you have read Lemony Snicket. I have about 20 of these notebooks from over the past few years, and even though I keep track of my writing on my laptop now, most of it starts in my green notebook. Therefore, the green notebook serves as my identity, especially when I don't feel like revealing my real name.
I hope you enjoy my work, and if you don't, I hope you come back later to try my newer stuff.
Aaaaah! This chapter was disappointingly short but amazingly exciting!
First of all, my head is spinning at the fact that Elizabett knows Gellert Grindelwald, and knows him well enough to call him Gellert and have a Mysterious Past with him. This new insight into Elizabett's secret-keeping abilities is making me think. I must encourage you to update soon, because this chapter opened up far too many new questions to be completely satisfying.
Also, check out the QSQ pages. For what it's worth, I had the idea before you suggested it. ;-)
Author's Response: The update in in queue and takes yet another twist. ;-) I know it was short, but longer ones are coming. So far, this story is up to 47 chapters. A whole lot more than I anticipated! Thanks for the QSQ nomination. I know it's a popularity contest, but it's always nice to know you're appreciated. Keep in touch. Dani
I cannot BELIEVE this story does not have more reviews! It might be my favorite on the forums at the moment, so I suppose it's about time for me to leave a review myself.
I absolutely love the integration of history with JKR's world, especially parts of history that we modern readers don't always focus upon (the German/Chinese relationship prior to WWII, for example). I think you've done a very good job placing the story into context. The addition of a Muggle Studies class seems very 1930s, somehow.
Your characterization, however, is the strongest aspect of this story. The books portray Slughorn as rather ineffectual, but he must have been more formidable in his youth in order to survive as head of Slytherin House. Dumbledore's strict control over himself in regards to Elizabett is crucial to his puppet-master character. I'm sure he'll break eventually, but I can't imagine him throwing caution completely to the wind.
I love your portrayal of the Wizarding upper class, all full of dignity and muted antagonism. Elizabett is challenging their dominance in a very bold way, but her adversaries are very political in their opposition. It makes for a very tense and realistic situation.
As for Thomas and his character, is it bad that as soon as he stopped pestering Elizabett about physical attentions, I guessed what he had done? Clearly, there is someone better for Miss Castlewood out there somewhere....
Not to end the complete love fest, but I do have a nit-picky punctuation comment on this chapter. After Elizabett asks Thomas if Kalina is giving him what she wouldn't, she says "From what I saw, she probably is?" I believe that should be either a period or exclamation point. It seems less like a question and more like an accusation or assertion.
So yes. I love your characterization, your plot-building and your tone of writing. I am very much looking forward to reading the next chapter. Keep up the excellent work!
Author's Response: Thank you for such a detailed and lovely review. Yes, I agree. Iím surprised that not more people review. The story is certainly being read. I guess I should be happy that people are sticking with it. It was a hard one to start. One of your favourites? cough, cough...Quickquills... cough... Have you read the trilogy? Two years nominated, but never won. shucks. I like integrating reality with the fiction. I find it makes the story more believable. Iíve done a lot of research, but have to admit, I got carried away with two ideas and misplaced Minerva and Hagrid in the wrong years. Minerva actually began school with Tom Riddle, and Hagrid and Tom are actually three years apart. Their roles here werenít huge, but it bumped the story out of Canon and into Alternative Universe. Ooppps. As for the historical facts, yes, these places and things do exist and did happen. More to come on thatÖ Slughorn was never one of my favourites. He always seemed a bit self-serving. Thatís why heís my bad boy. Iíll go back and check the error you pointed out. That one slipped past my weeks of editing and the mods who validate. Thank you for pointing it out. The next chapter is in queue and should be ready in about 10 days. Keep in touch. Dani
oh poor Albus, with so much on his plate! I fear this story is not going to end well for our Elizabett, is it?
I'm absolutely horrible at reviewing, Dani, but I wanted you to know that I'm still reading, and I'm still enjoying the intelligent writing and the weaving together of history, legend, Potterverse and whole new stories. I'm really quite tense waiting to read what happens next! You're doing a great job with the tone of this story, especially.
Thanks for not making me wait too long between updates! ~greenie
Author's Response: Don't give up on Elizabett. She's a tough cookie under it all. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and thank you for your kind words. I really enjoy what I'm doing. Dani
This is really well done! I'm impressed, because it could have been incredibly disjointed and confusing, but it somehow works. I think it's how you manage to keep the tone the same, whether you're writing about James and LIly in hiding, Draco swearing, or the kids climbing in through a window.
The downside to that is how some of your characters start blurring together. I think you've done a good job overall in differentiating personalities, but there is a bit of information overload in places. Your Molly and your Hermione start to run together. The way the characters interact with each other, however, is top-notch.
This is a great piece of writing and I definitely enjoyed reading it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, and especially the concrit. Each of the drabbles just sort of fell onto the paper, so I'm glad they worked at all. Thanks again!
Terri, this is so wonderfully written. You were definitely right about the tissues. I hate to nit-pick, but I am going to bring up one or two things, just to make this a proper review.
She knew now the twins had defiantly done something. Did you mean “defiantly” or definitely? This is confusing.
“I am more worried about how Hogwarts will survive them than I am about them,” Arthur said. This is awkwardly phrased. I think it’s the double use of “them” that makes it weird. Perhaps “I am more worried about how Hogwarts will survive than I am about the twins,” would make it flow better?
In my opinion, the end was the strongest part, the section that made the whole piece come together. The emotions were so tangible. Thank you so much for writing this story and sharing your experience with us. As has been previously stated, this is the best account of Molly's grief I have encountered yet. Excellent job.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. And you are right, I did type the wrong word. I try to catch myself when typing it, but for some reason, I tend to miss it and use the wrong one. You are also right about the awkward phrasing. Reading it again, I can see it. Thanks again. Terri