This story has been on my to-read-list for a fair while because I like Severus and I like dark, and I'd heard you do both very well here, so I've finally got round to reading the first chapter, and you've certainly drawn me in. There's just enough given away to seize my interest, whilst leaving so many questions unanswered. I love the atmosphere you create right from the start, and I can really see the ruined state of Hogwarts.
Somehow, I don't think I'll be getting the early night I was intending to now that I've started reading this...
I'm already hooked by the subtlety of your characterisation - it's the little moments that tell us so much about where the characters have gone in the backstory to this fic.
“I haven’t asked you, by the way,” he interrupts, “was it a girl or boy?”
I lift my head up again slightly; he speaks with such loathing about my first born child.
I love this exchange because the bitterness really shows how far Harry has fallen from the boy we knew. Once, he understood that a parent's love had to transcend all other concerns, but I'm getting the impression that he can't understand or appreciate love in any form any more.
It’s like the role he has to play has become him and he’s now completely comfortable within it.
So Severus has walked an even darker path than Harry then? I wonder just how far gone he is?
Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the reviews. You\'ve no idea how good the timing is for this - I mean, I have had a terrible weekend so to receive two lovely reviews was very nice. I am glad you\'re enjoying it, although I do know there are parts I\'m unhappy with. Lau x
Poor Ron! He makes the perfect sacrifice, but that doesn't mean I don't always end up feeling sorry for him. It's so sad to see him in this state, but I'm glad there's enough of who Hermione was left that she could save him. I just hope that there's enough of Ron left that it wasn't in vain.
One is without his mind, one is without his identity and one is without her morals.
Like I said before, you've taken these characters down such a dark path and that sums it up perfectly, and it's so like the Hermione of old to boil it down to such an analytically concise concept. There was definitely a glimmer of the girl she used to be too in her attempts to win Ron over with an academic diatribe on fire and healing. It gives me hope that there's more of who she used to be still buried within her.
Sorry that I haven’t had chance to review each chapter of this amazing story as I read it, but if I’m honest I probably shouldn’t have been spending the time reading let alone reviewing – but I couldn’t help it! I’ve been using this story as revision bribery – an hour of contract law and then treat myself to another chapter.
I don’t even know where to start saying everything I want to say about this story, it’s just so fabulous. I think it’s probably the best thing I’ve read on Mugglenet (and that’s definitely saying something as there as so many good stories here). It’s beautifully written, carefully characterised and the plot is so subtly woven with canon and striking originality. I’m having a really hard time keeping this separate in my head from canon. Normally I mostly manage to keep fanfiction well separated from canon but this has just so utterly become Snape’s back-story for me that if anything in DH counteracts it then I’ll be utterly confused!
For the first time, you’ve managed to turn Severus Snape into a real person for me. My character analysis of him had never previous gone beyond: sullen; hates Harry and probably not actually evil. But you’ve actually got me interested in him and somewhat shockingly left me having a great deal of sympathy for him. There were so many points where his future seemed to hang in the balance and one push in the right direction would have saved him that I could forget while I was reading it that we already know how badly things would end for him and so many points where I just wanted to save him and give him a hug (I hate to think of the look on Severus’ face at that comment – can’t imagine he’d take kindly to such a sentiment!). You do such a fabulous job of drawing out all the good things about him that Harry’s point of view never shows us that he has become someone I’d actually quite like to be able to sit down over a cup of tea with and discuss the finer points of the application of modern chemistry to potions (the chemistry graduate in me absolutely adored the fume-cupboard and chromatography use and got a little hyper during that chapter!).
There is some wonderful subtle humour throughout that matches Severus’ dry, sardonic style and complements the dark bits perfectly – and my goodness are the darker parts dark! My hatred of Lucius Malfoy now knows no bounds, I think, and the whole Hadrian plotline broke my heart, as did Severus’ realisation that it was his fault that Lily died. As for the ending, well, floods of tears – it was just so cruel that Severus and Harry could have had a friendship that they both so desperately needed if it hadn’t been for one initial unfortunate eye contact.
Actually, whilst I’m on the subject of Lily, I thought your portrayal of her was brilliant – the ‘Saint’ joke was such a nice nod to the usual way she is portrayed yet you captured that cheekiness about her that she is supposed to have and made her a lot of fun.
Ok, I think I’ve run out of superlatives now and I’m beginning to sound like a hopeless fangirl, so I’ll leave this here but in case you haven’t yet gathered – I loved this story!
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! I hope the revision went well. I spent a good bit of time in chemistry and biology laboratories, which may have something to do with my Severus-fanship. And DH is probably going to confound me utterly; I\'m almost scared to read it. I\'m glad you enjoyed this, and appreciate the lovely long review!
I suppose I should start by saying that Draco/Hermione isn’t a ship that normally works for me, because I often find that the characterisation is stretched too thin, but this story is one of the few I’ve found that has me totally convinced throughout. Mostly because you don’t force either Hermione or Draco to be anything that they’re not.
I actually read this quite a long time ago, but it lingered with me strongly enough that I came back to read it again, which tends to say a lot about a story.
Obviously, this is something that would be out of character for Harry, but it’s evident that you’ve used that as a deliberate device, and it serves its purpose very effectively. It’s the ultimate betrayal and cuts Hermione off from all her usual support networks when she most needs someone.
As for Draco, he doesn’t suddenly turn into a misunderstood, nice boy, who’s believed in the power of good all along. He’s simply been put in the middle of an awful situation, which draws out an inherent, basic humanity. Nothing flash; no life-changing epiphanies but something that’s so far outside both their normal lives that there’s no one else to connect to but each other.
She heard him mutter something and warmth surrounded her. A figment of imagination. An unreal cover.
I think this is possibly my favourite line. It’s just so beautiful, and it shows Hermione’s mental state so perfectly – so fragmented and dissociated. The fragments create the mood throughout so well, as do the repeated concepts giving the feel of her circular thoughts.
I really enjoyed the redefinement of familiarity and the development of the strand based on:
He was back.
She wasn’t yet.
It’s so wonderfully simple and yet has a lot of depth to it.
The ending fits perfectly – it’s just enough without asking too much of them or taking them too far down the path they might be on.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for that wonderful review, Hannah. People see this story differently; some find it disturbing and OOC, and some find it intriguing. But I have never read a review like yours - you really understood the story, completely. It is always so nice to have readers pick up on small yet significant sentences; sentences that a writer (or an aspiring writer in this case) actually think about, structure and rearrange to make it perfect, sentences that aren\'t just added to the text to make it sound good. So, thank you for reading it so carefully and for giving this Hermione/Draco story a chance.
I'm so glad I stumbled across this - it's fabulous! A blazing row is the perfect way to get those two together, because Ron really isn't ever going to become emotionally competent enough to work out what's in front of him otherwise. I agree with Ginny - they did need this.
The argument is so intense. I really love the line, “IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU? HAVE NOTHING, KNOW NOTHING, WORTH NOTHING RON?” because it seems to completely sum up all of Ron's frustration and bitterness, thinking that he isn't good enough for her. You've managed to successfully blow the top off of six years of friendship, love and denial and dragged up all the old little wounds that they inflicted on one-another, without ever making it melodramatic.
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DAMMIT!...I WOULD BLOODY WELL DIE FOR YOU!" Trust Ron to come out with with such romantic sentiments in such an unromantic manner - it's so true to the character. And only Ron could manage to storm off when she tells him that she feels the same, but the "I will," was perfect. It really got to me!
I loved the lighter moments that you put into it too though. It was so fitting that it was Harry that made Ron do something about it because he refused to go off hunting for the Horcruxes with them sniping at each other the whole time and the line of, Hermione smiled coyly, or at least what passed for coyly when it came to Hermione. made me laugh out loud because it was so accurate!
*wanders off to read the rest of your stories*
Author's Response: uh-oh, somehow I\'m able to access this site from work again. It\'s all over now! Nevermind that. I always love it when a new reader comes into the stories, particularly when said reader leaves such an awesome and long review. And of course you are starting at the beginning which as absolutely perfect. Sometimes I forget about this fic, and it\'s always good to remember. Thank you so much for everything you\'ve said, and so let\'s see exactly what you said. I along with both you and Ginny all seem to agree that they did indeed need the row. Why? Well, as you point out because of the fact that there are still so many personal hurdles to get over, and only a row could do such. But also from the standpoint of the author, it\'s just better this way. It\'s more passionate, and more engrossing. Sure, I could have had Ron and Hermione just go out for a nice civilized talk and work through their issues, but, yeah, how interesting is that? Which brings us to the fight itself, and how it comes across. As I\'ve said many times before, really this argument was me setting the stage and then letting the characters take over after a point. At least that is how it felt. I really didn\'t try and push them in any specific direction, but instead... I guess it\'s like pachinko. You know that game with the metal ball, and you drop it in at the top and it bangs against those little pegs? I guess Viktor Krum would be the first peg, and the ball just kept bouncing from there. In this regard, I thin kthat may have been what gave the fight its passion without going overboard. I really did what Ron and Hermione do all the time in canon, only this time, I didn\'t let them stop. I will disagree with you on one point, and that\'s because I have a very finely defined image of romance. The line you mention, to me at least, is incredibly romantic and that\'s because it comes straight from the heart with all the emotion and passion he could muster.He could take her atop a tower on a moonlight night and bestow upon her a daimond encrusted ring whilst quoting her poetry, and it wouldn\'t be nearly so romantic because it doesn\'t have the same meaning. And we explore this a little further in Epilogues Part III, that being that what makes Ron romantic is not the flourish or the gestures, but the fact that when he acts, and when he speaks it carries such gravitas emotionally that you can\'t help but to feel along with him. But then, as you point out, only he would be so stupid as to be insulted when he shouldn\'t be. But then even Harry saw this coming. Which set up, \"I will,\" and I have to say, I worked so hard for that one singular moment. I don\'t know. When you\'re writing, you get these brief spots where you feel it, where you know you knocked it right out of the park, and you may as well start jogging around the bases, and that one was it. And ultimately, I think that also is necessary. Someone had to give. Someone had to bear their belly and in not so many words say, \"Kill me. Take every part of me or no part of me, just know that either way, I belong to you... I\'m yours, and you are free to do with me as you wish.\" And then there\'s the lighter moments you mention. When inspiration struck, the only thing that really hit me was the argument. Problem was, I couldn\'t just drop the reader into the all out war that eventually ensues, so I had to figure out a way to frame it. Since the first site I posted this on was a H/G site, I figured that was how to start things, and it let me use Harry\'s POV which had the benefits of making it easier to ape JKR\'s voice, as well as free me from the burdon of having to adopt Hermione or Ron\'s point of view which may have made the scene too lopsided. Anyway, and i think from there the lighter moments were born, especially considering I don\'t think I would have been able to put them in there if I were going at it from Ron or Hermione\'s POV. But the thing I\'ve noticed is that I have a quieter sense of humor in my writing, definitely not the kind that lends itself to writing a comedy story, but it\'s there, and what\'s worse, I can\'t get rid of it. Epilogues Part III is most definitely a very serious and dark story, and yet I find myself still unable to avoid the offhanded joke or two, even in the most serious of parts. But in the end, I think I\'m learning to live with that, I think it adds texture and depth to what I do, and it definitely adds to my voice, I think. Anyway, I\'m glad you enjoyed it, and now I\'m off to go eagerly await the rest of your reviews.
Well this is definately proving to be a very sweet, fun day for them so far. I love Hermione's inability to drive - it suits her so well - she's so utterly capable academically and yet the practicallities in life often prove more of an issue. And I really liked the reference to her driving more by force of will than ability and the remark that Ron was driving a flying car and still managed to hit a tree amused me a lot (probably because I'm still mocked for an incident with a boat and a tree quite a few years ago but still...).
It was a really nice idea to pick up on the fact that going to somewhere like that was something he was pointly deprived of by the Dursleys.
Couple of little car related Brit-picks I noticed (if you are interested): stick shift = gear stick; trunk = boot and the car behind would more likely be said to hit its horn or beep at them then honk. Also, Ron wouldn't really be likely to say "ain't I". It's just a little too colloquial and doesn't really fit with the way he normally speaks.
Final Brit-pick is something you might not want to hear (so feel free to ignore me by all means but just thought I'd let you know) - over here we don't really use the term soda (or at least not to refer to anything other than soda water when served with something else, eg whisky and soda). We'd use fizzy drink as a more generic term but usually just the more specific name of the particular drink.
Feel absolutely free to ignore me on the Britishisms, they just stood out to me so I thought I'd mention them, but they didn't detract from a very cute chapter.
Author's Response: mmm... Sorry, nitpicks still make me cringe, but I\'m learning to keep a stiff upper lip regarding them. I knew the thing about the boot, but everything else is new to me. EVEN STILL!!!! I refuse to call soda anything but soda. Over here we have people calling them pop, soda pop, coke (even if you\'re drinking a pepsi... seriously, you got people who will say, \"What flavor coke you want?\" \"Oh, Mountain Dew\" grrrrrrrr), so that\'s a principle thing for me. SODA IS SODA AND ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFERENT IS SERIOUSLY WRONG!!!! breathe... in... out... deep breaths... Okay, I\'m good. Thanks for the review, and I\'m glad you are enjoying it so far. One of these days I\'m going to stop saying this, but this is my least favorite story, so if you like this one, there\'s a good chance you\'re going to like the rest even more (not always true though... er... anyway). But it is fluffy and kinda funny, I guess. That\'s why this story for the longest time was my most popular, but then I also wrote it specifically to make people happy, so there you go... Oh bet you left nice long reviews for other chapters as well, so let\'s go take a look!!!!
Such good fun and so fluffy! The bit about the blood in Ron's face being unable to decide whether to blush or go pale had me giggling a lot as did the waltz/five step tango comment - really sums those two up. And the piggy back race is exactly the sort of ridiculous thing that you just end up doing on a day like that.
Why is it though that Harry's concern when they couldn't find the other two in the arcade gives me a bit of a sense of foreboding? I just have this nasty little feeling that things can't carry on being this perfect and happy for them all. I really hope I'm wrong!
Author's Response: I will say that things can\'t and won\'t carry on being this perfect, but not for the reasons that you suspect. Now that you reminded me of the little arcade worry scene, I think I can safely say that that is a little remarked upon aspect of my writing that becomes more evident later on. In retrospect, I think the feeling you have is the exact thing I was going for. In one instant I wanted to remind everyone that a) the peaceful times they were enjoying were very much dangling by a thread and b) these characters are so used to the duress and the drama that even they really couldn\'t sit and enjoy a day without strife without some of the old demons coming back to them. But for the most part you are right, this is just more fun and fluff. The piggy back race et al. are all just the kinds of things I imagine kids doing, you know? Just enjoying childhood... I\'m talkin\' out my ass so I\'m going to move on to the next review! Thanks again.
The "Lavender Incident" - such a fantastic way for Ron to take to referring to it and so nice to see such a serious moment of discussion first between Harry and Ron and then Harry and Hermione - it really reinforces the depths of their friendship.
Their Muggle day really does seem to be allowing them to have a normal day without the weight of the world on their shoulders' for once and it's nice to see them get these moments even if it can't last beyond the day (I'm assuming one once the day is over Harry has to go back to being the Chosen One, with all its burdens?)
Oh and I also really liked Hermione's line of "Slowly, sweetheart, slowly," - could she be any more patronising? Still sometimes Ron does need treating like a child!
Author's Response: First, let me say that as I read and respond to this, I noticed that a few hours have passed, and yet, you have not reviewed the last chapter! WHAT\'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!? GRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Kidding... though I am anxious to hear your thoughts on the last chapter which does take things in a different turn. Alright, back to your comments. I do remember that this story begins to show a little more depth at this point, and therefore is easier for me to comment upon. For instance the conversation between Ron and Harry. Exploring their relationship is something that has fascinated me from the very first story of the series Right Here, and since then I think it has just caught on with me. I take it a little further here, and I think this is where I really developed the voice that the two friends use for each other. It doesn\'t end there either as I think in every story that I have written, we at least see one heart to heart like this... I know there\'s a scene in Epilogues Part I (direct sequel to this story, btw, you should read that one also), and then definitely one in Part II, and Part III is ninety percent just Ron and Harry doing... well, you\'ll have to wait until you get there won\'t you? But it\'s a deeply intriguing relationship to play with, and I take every opportunity. The only exception is Everybody Does It, and you would really have to read it to understand why (though please wait until after reading Epilogues Part I). As for the concerns you have, all I can say is that you\'ll have to see how things change when the day begins to end, and the threat of going back to reality becomes far more significant.... Thanks again.
He was officially seventeen, and officially alone. Hmmm...now that was a line that really hooked me. It just seems so much deeper than the rest of the chapter and so true.
I liked the lighter bits of the chapter too though. “it wouldn’t have been so bad if he didn’t just stand there and gawk at her like an idiot. Somehow I can just imagine Ron standing in a doorway with a look of shock on his face and his mouth moving but no sound coming out. It's probably a miracle that he *didn't* end up belching slugs (although I'm sure Hermione could probably come up with some even more imaginative ways to hex him!).
The four of them having a day as normal muggle teenagers - now this could be interesting...
Author's Response: Alright, let me start off by saying that this is my worst fic. Bar none, no questions asked, this is definitely not me at my best. If it weren\'t for the last chapter I would probably have binned the whole thing by now, but after four chapters of frivilous fluff, I had to put some substance in there, and really that last chapter sets the stage for the entire Epilogues series. So, all i can say is thank you, and if you can manage your way through this story without hating me as an author, I promise much better things in store for you after this!
Now I'm doubly glad I requested a banner from you because not only do I have a stunning banner, but it meant I found this story - which is simply beautiful and utterly heart-wrenching.
You capture Ginny perfectly with just the right mix of grief, anger and isolation. The style really captures the chaos in her thoughts too and I really felt like she was lost as to what was real and what was just her memories.
The imagery was superb - it was wonderfully visual throughout, but without ever having unnecessary detail. I particularly loved the line: and all of them fall and are swept away, one by one fading into a mottley browness. Memories curling up like autumn leaves is just such a tragic image.
And the part about her not wanting the nightmares to stop because at least they meant that she could still see him was absolutely heart-breaking.
All in all a really visually stunning and touching story.
I don't normally venture into the humour category much (I generally prefer my fanfic a bit darker and more tragic), but I'd heard so much about this story that, being in a slightly silly mood, I couldn't resist. It certainly lives up to the hype! I read the first couple of chapters the other day, but was too half asleep to leave a review, so you get a review for this chapter instead.
It just had me giggling throughout. Although I did almost manage to rather inelegantly snort my cup of tea everywhere on several occasions too.
The cheese-flavoured latte particularly entertained me. I was a little worried though, that once the initial amusement wore off, I got to thinking that it didn't seem too bad an idea - coffee and cheese being two of my favourite things in life. I think I must be a little caffeine deprived...
I was also entertained by the concept of Voldy in eyeliner - maybe more so because of an unfortunate conversation last night in which my flatmate admitted an odd liking of men in eyeliner. I now find myself wondering if she'd like Voldy in eyeliner! O.o
Author's Response: Oh boy, someone intelligent enough to ignore the humour category ended up reading this story! I AM magic! I\'m super-glad that you liked this, because this was my first fanfiction, and I worry a lot that it\'s definitely overrated. Cheese-flavoured latte... oh dear, I would hate to drink one... makes me think of when I was three and wanted to make cheese soup (meaning putting grated cheese into some milk), but I didn\'t have any milk, so I used strawberry juice instead, and the result was revolting... and my mom made me drink it. :(
I started reading this story over a year ago. Actually, feeling like I was missing a lot of references was what lead me to read the rest of the Severus in Profile series in the first place (when I misguidedly wasn’t yet sure that I had a great deal of interest in him), but then, for a long time, I didn’t come back to this story. I’m not entirely sure why, not because I didn’t enjoy it certainly. I think it was probably that I liked the comforting thought of there being a part of Severus’ story that was still waiting for me, that I hadn’t finished the journey yet.
Having not read your stories in while though, coming back to this story and your Severus recently was like meeting up with an old friend – slipping back into his ponderings and dark humour was so familiar and utterly comfortable – and it made me remember how much the way that you write him shaped how I view him. Sometimes I think I actually view ItEoO as canon and DH as a pale imitation that doesn’t do his character half as much justice as you do.
I’m so very impressed that you have succeeded in making this story as compelling as you have given its slow pace, rooted setting and lack of action for the most part. Yet Severus’ mental landscape is so wonderfully sketched that I was perfectly happy to spend chapter after chapter as trapped in his head as he was. Even though so much was borrowed from your previous stories, nothing felt stale nor lost anything in the retelling. In fact, I found it wonderful how you tied the whole universe that you’ve written here together so neatly, bringing in not just the most disparate of the Severus-threads but even the Blue series and Lucius/Molly.
I think, being overly well-versed in the English legal process, I tend to approach trials in stories with a degree of trepidation and an expectation of disappointment, but I was pleasantly surprised in this one. I found myself with the odd minor, obscurely technical quibble – reservations as to the exact application of the hearsay rule here and a preference for more leading questions in cross-examination and greater observation of certain formalities there – but overall I found it had a very real sense of authenticity about it and some moments of fairly impressive advocacy.
As to the ending, I’m rarely persuaded to believe in a happy ending for Severus, as it so often seems to reflect the author’s pity rather than where Severus could believably find himself at the end of the tale told, but not here. This ending suits his journey so perfectly as he heals. I love the way in which he leaves behind so many scars – the realisation that the new clothing allows him to be someone new, Lily not following him into his waking hours and even the physical healing of the old damage to his liver. It all shows the completeness of the transition to this new-found contentment. I also love how he finds a certain peace on the farm even without Ginny, but that she provides the final step to recovery – I’ve loved what Ginny brings out in your Severus even as far back in their journey as The Right Questions where somehow she touches the more human parts of him that he makes so sure to hide away.
Anyway, this is, as I expected, a masterful alternative as to the route Severus’ life could (and perhaps ought) to have taken. The only thing that saddens me a little is that, with Severus having found a measure of peace, this seems a natural conclusion to his memoirs, and I’d hate to think that there’d be no further stories of yours on him to read.
Author's Response: Aw shucks. And if I'd known you were well-versed in legal proceedings when I began, you would have been pounced upon and seized for a beta-read! That was darned hard, but I offer the excuse that the Wizarding world doesn't seem to have quite the same standards for a fair trial as Muggle Britain does. Even if they give it a go, they may not get all of it right either... Or something like that. I'm glad you enjoyed it, all the same. I hated the idea of him just getting wiped out in DH (and he clearly was going to be) whether Harry ever quite figured him out or not. By the end of HBP, I was pretty sure Harry was thick as an oak plank where Severus was concerned! However, devising an alternative took me to some very interesting places.
This almost isn't really a review as such (since I've already long since left you a review saying how much I love this story), but more of a thank you in some ways.
One of the things that really stayed with me from reading this was the idea of Severus' mental library. Something made me recall it a little while back, and I ended up creating my own mental library, which has helped me through some pretty rough times of late.
So yeah, thank you.
I thought I'd leave you a review in exchange for the gorgeous banner.
This story is simply beautiful - so haunting. I think the constant switch between what she is writing and her thoughts makes a really effective contrast between the poetic and the painfully real. It just gives a lovely balance to the fic.
I thought the idea of him giving her the vial of his memories was very sweet as well - it had me blinking back tears.
One tiny little typo I noticed was that you had "trusted you friends" when I assume you wanted "your" in the "Confidence" paragraph.
All in all a beautifully written, moving story. :o)
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m glad it ended up like that - I wasn\'t sure when the ghost / boggart frst showed up (when I was first writing it) but your assurances calmed that. I will fix up that typo momentarily. Thank you so much for the review! ~Sunray
Oooh I really enjoyed this! You create a really lovely balance in the chapter between the gentle domesticity at the start and the horror at the end; the two halves complement each other perfectly.
I love that you had Hermione insisting that she was going to go despite being heavily pregnant and Ron realising that he couldn't stop and grieve because he had to finish the fight. Those moments just suit both of their characters perfect and really re-emphasise why they are Griffindors.
I thought the look Harry and Ron shared as if saying goodbye was really poignant. It summed up the depth of their friendship perfectly without forcing them to have any OOC conversation about their emotions(!) or breaking the flow of the battle scene.
One tiny little thing I noticed which just felt a little awkward to me was when Ron told Harry about Neville being dead and Harry said, “Luna is going to be devastated. You know that they’ve been married since our seventh year, when we all joined the Order.” It feels a bit like Harry is telling Ron something he'd already know just for the benefit of the reader, if that makes any sense? You could quite easily just leave it at "Luna is going to be devastated." because the reader will be able to infer the rest without it being flagged up or you might want to consider having the explanation as narrative not dialogue. Just a suggestion.
Author's Response: That was such a marvelously detailed review that you have me smiling as I am typing this!!! *huggles to death* Thank you SO much for that lovely review. I do get what you are saying about the Luna part. I think that I might actually go back and put it in context, when I have time. Thanks so much for poitning that out. I\'m glad that you liked the look between Harry (it\'s my fav part to write) and the part about Hermione and Ron being in Gryffindor for an actual reason. :) Thanks so much for reading! ~Lindsey :)
Very sad, but very good! Sometimes the whole "lets name the baby after someone who's died" thing can seem a bit of an over-used cliche be you made it work really well. I think it was because the baby was born straight after the death rather than ten years down the line or something, which made it much more poignant and believable.
It was also very moving that you had Harry's last thoughts being of Ginny and his daughter and if they would forgive him. Also, when Ron pulled himself back from the brink by the realisation that he couldn't leave his unborn son fatherless, I liked that he also thought of Ginny at that point. I could imagine him keeping a very close eye on his sister and her daughter, with Harry gone, out of duty to his friend as much as , obviously, brotherly concern.
I really liked the slight comic relief early on as well though in contrast - the banter between Harry and Voldemort was perfect and,
"So … I’m a Horcrux, and you’re one too. We both have to die." Harry said slowly.
"No. Only you do." Voldemort said. had me in stitches. Harry really missed the point there didn't he, bless him!
One tiny little nit-pick that I noticed was in, Ron Weasley watched in agony as his best mate, died that day. I think you need the comma after agony not mate.
Author's Response: Ha ha, I never actually thought of it being comic like that. Hmmm . . . well, maybe I did because I wrote it like that, but yah. LOL, I\'m glad that made you laugh. I\'m so glad that you liked this story! I will go back and change it after your two lovely reviews! Thanks so much! *huggles* ~Lindsey ;)
This is just lovely. Some of the imagery you have in there is wonderful, particularly,
I can hear the battlefield’s shrieking cry,
It shares the hue of the blood-red sky.
and All light fades to black-blue,
And it flows, on icicle-ornamented clouds
It's very visual and really effective. You really manage to keep the emotional intensity going throughout too and then the final line is just breathtaking!
Wow! This is really beautiful and utterly heartwrenching. I was in tears from the second paragraph onwards! The line: To be told of your departed loved one by a complete stranger gave you a definite and priceless sense of detachment. It was wonderful; you looked down on your pain from a cloud high above and watched your silent distress in numbness. really got to me because it's so very true.
I though the interaction between Lily and Ginny was lovely. It felt very real and really brought out the tragedy of everyone trying to be strong for everyone else and falling apart themselves. It's far too easy to believe it's what you have to do and so sad to see a child struggling with that.
This really is a beautifully tragic story and yet somehow it feels almost hopeful because you can see that they are going to be okay now.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! What a nice review. I\'m glad it felt real. That\'s what I intended. I don\'t like stories that run away from reality. Reality is what we have, because dreams don\'t last long. I understand what you mean about the hope. I will never write a story that doesn\'t at least hint at a hopeful ending. Well, thanks very much for the review, and I\'m glad you liked my story!
Very cute - you managed to make Lily/Snape very believable and I thought Snape in particular was incredibly well characterised. He's a character who is often very OOC in a lot of fanfiction, so congratulations on keeping him so believably acerbic and resisting any urge to make him soft and cuddly!
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'ve never seen Snape as being soft and cuddly in any way. Therefore, avoiding that pitfall was not all that hard for me. Thanks for the review. I appreciate it very much.