That was a really good chapter!! My constructive critism iiis: I thought that the reason Lola didn't except the fact that she was a seer was becuase she didn't want that battle/her death/leaving Sirius alone to happen. I thought that she was wishing that it was just a dream or a daydream or something, and that's why she never wanted people to call her a seer. You did kinda that at the end, though.
Poor Lola!!!! Poor Sirius!!!!! Such a good person, I know you had to do it, but still! It's sooo sad! She was the type of person who knew that if she went to the battle she would die, but she went anyways. What a good person!
Author's Response: Okay, I didn\'t fully understand the CC, but got the gist. So yes, she was in denial about being a seer because she simply didn\'t WANT to know what would happen (I would be the same). This chapter still pricks at my eyes when I re-read it, especially the song at the end ... sigh. I love Feeder. I hate being mean to Sirius, though. Oh well, thanks for reviewing!
Ok, I just started reading your story, but it's great!
I think you're doing a really good job keeping the Marauders "innocent" when they're younger. Lots of stories I have read in the past think they are the dirtiest eleven-year-olds I (and hopefully everyone else) have ever met.
The only thing I have to say is that I think Remus's reaction would have been bigger, you know? more shocked and scared. And why does Tara know? She must play a bigger part later on? She has to!
You are doing a really great job! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: I agree with everything you said. Thanks for reviewing! Keep letting me know what you think!
very very good, as always. I would have liked to see a little more time being described, you know like Sirius being so angry about being cooped up in the shreiking shack, and then I think the ripping up of the picture and bed-curtains would have been a little more called for, but as it was you did a very good job.
But no Sir Cadogen?!? That had the potential to be quite comical...
Author's Response: Lol, I had forgotten all about him! Oh well. Yes, maybe you\'re right about time being described more and stuff. To be honest, I didn\'t enjoy writing this chapter much at all, that\'s probably why it\'s not the best. Still, thank you for your review!
I still don't trust her! She hasn't done anything to prove her loyalty!!
Author's Response: Wait ... you don\'t trust who? *Confused* :S
Author's Response: Oh, you don\'t trust LALA! I get it. Sorry, got mixed up with chapters, lol.
I pretty much just read the entire thing(reviewing once in awhile) and it was AWESOME!! it IS awesome!
I can't wait for the next one, I really want to see how far you take this! Well, I guess you're going all the way right up to the end, but still!
Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m always glad of new people who like my stuff. Why don\'t you try The Things I Do For L.O.V.E, too? People seem to like it, and out of all my fics, it\'s my personal favourite! *BLATANT ADVERTISING*
Within the Marauder band of Merry Men, Sirius is the dashing Will Scarlet. Seventh year, his goal is not to rob the rich, but to help poor Robin woo Maid Lily, avoid sermons from Friar Moony, aid a rat in need, and win the love of a fair lady.
Nominated for a Quicksilver Quill for Best Romance- Non Canon.
*Chapter 30 is 'To Be Loved'*
I love the way you never exclude Peter!! Some authors hate Peter so much for what he did when he was older that they take it out on Younger Peter, but you never do! Keep up the AMAZING work! Sorry to hear it's only going to be three chapters, and don't worry, this is a VERY enjoyable story.
Author's Response: Thank you! If Sirius trusted Peter to be James\' secret keeper, I think that proves that he probably kept some major secrets for Sirius prior to that (non-Marauder related, lol) and he was loved like a brother to be hated so violently afterwards. I\'m glad that you liked the fact that I didn\'t have him left behind in the library, studying, throughout the story! Chapter 30 is the last one for the story, but there will be two one shots after that I think you\'ll really like!
I am truely amazed by your ability to characterize every single person in your story so well, even when you have hardly any information about them. And I will admit that if this story didn't take you foreverrr, than I am insanely jealous! Keep it up!!!
Author's Response: The imagination is a wonderful thing, isn\'t it? You can take characters there is little known about and say \'what if?\' Some chapters took longer than others, absolutely, and thank you for the compliment and for reviewing! =]
Woah, James was so cool about meeting Rosmerta, and especially under the circumstances...! Didn't see that coming, but then again, I'm surprised Sirius has kept a secret like this from his friends for so long.
Write more soon, pleeeease!
lovin the story so far!!!
Author's Response: Sirius kept secret from Remus his suspicion that Remus was the spy and that he\'d persuaded James to switch secret keepers. I figure if he has to, he can put his Black cunning to good use. (Also, if no one ever finds out about Sirius and Rosmerta except someone who won\'t tell, that slips the pairing through the canon loophole which says as long as nobody knows, it could have happened! :D)
this is so good! i just read the whole thing. this is the first story that incorporates the war in a truly believable way. and I love how Lily is so thoughtful. she thinks everything through to the point that she is unsure of not only herself but also about everything around her.
and i love her little moments with James! keep up the good work! this is def going on my fav list!
Ive said this once before, every once in awhile I'll spot what i think is a character flaw, but you always fix it almost as soon as i think it!!! I cant wait to keep reading!
Author's Response: Good to know I can fix it!
ack! its not James! i refuse to admit that this is James! its an impersonator! Poly juice potion! imperious curse! he didnt do it of his own free will!!!!!
Author's Response: Polyjuice potion is certainly a very popular theory!
Hey, this was not bad. Although i thought that this "meeting on the train" plot line was overplayed at one time, but you put a new spin on it. Or maybe you just wrote it the best. Anyway, you caught my interest, and I can't wait to read more!!
Author's Response: I know, almost every Lily and James story starts on the train! I\'m glad you thought it worked okay in my story though. Thanks for the review.
i need more! This is so crazy, and who expected Juliet?? AND I still dont believe that was James. i think it must have been Sirius polyjuiced or something. and daisy crawford was juliet polyjuiced. although, that would not be the smartest thing either of them could do. actually it would have been very stupid of them to do. then again, Sirius is known for being rash and immature.
UPDATE SOON!!! I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!!!
Author's Response: Sirius does have a track record for the rash and immature, you\'re right. Thanks for the review, and I really will try and update quickly!
Please excuse me!!! Last time I said that this plot line was a bit cliche! that is absolutely NOT the case! this would be longer but i need to read more....
Author's Response: :)
ahh the tension!!! wonderful so far, truly much more than I expected!
Oh, and Andy's an ass. A complete jerk face. first by not being sympathetic, and then by putting her on the spot like that. what a loser.
Last comment, i swear - your writing is reallly good. every once in awhile I see things that I feel are a slip in character, but then in the next paragraph you always fix it. Kudos!!
Author's Response: Thanks very much, I\'m glad you like the story! Andy is an ass, you\'re right. And sadly, he\'ll be showing his jerk face more in the future . . .
you had me, even with the five inch heels - i wont lie. although i did wonder at the practicality of it. for a dream tho, it would have been supercool if susan had turned into one of her tormentors. ok, that would not have been supercool, but it would have wrapped up the nightmare thing into a nice neat little bow.
all in all this is wonderful, and Emma is the frankiest girl i have ever seen - she's awesome!!!
Author's Response: Haha, I love Emma too! Making Susan one of her tormentors would have been a good twist to add, I wish I\'d thought of that! ;) Thanks for the review.
alright, i just read up to chapter 6, but now i have to go to bed, HOWEVER.... this story is going to be added to my favorites immediately!!! and keep up the good work! really!
Author's Response: Favorites? Ooh, good! Thanks for the review!
Haha! I'm still laughing! Very creative and VERY funny. I can't believe it's over either!! Keep up the good work!!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I\'m so glad you thought it was funny. ^_^
aww poor Jamsie! He just trying to be nice, but I suppose that's hoe it goes with Lily's temper...
Great story! Can't wait for more!!! I love how you've put them together in a therter, I haven't read one like this before. I wonder if James will have won Lily over by the end of the play, or if he is still fighting for her at school?
And that Peter kid? I don't like him. I think James should play his part. But then again, that would be really obvious.... your way is better :)
Author's Response: I know, I feel bad for James, too... But don\'t worry, it\'ll get better soon! :D And I\'m really glad you like the theater idea! Yours truly, Amelia Bedelia
This was really good. I'm surprised no one else thought of it first, too, but I'm sure many will follow your example.lol Good job, and keep up the good work!!
Author's Response: Thanks for your encouragement. I don\'t really care if people use my idea or not.