A Slytherin, through and through.
I gathered it wasn't Harry trying the hat on, but I didn't think of Ron. I had a couple of theories as I was reading, one of which was Severus wearing the hat (the bit where it says he has proven himself a good Gryffindor being a comment similar to when the hat tells Harry "I stand by what I said, you'd have done well in Slytherin"). The Gryffindor friend who has read Hogwarts, a History would then be Lily. The only problem with this is that I am sure Snape knows Latin (however did he learn it, with his background???). You did have me fooled with the Tom Riddle thing though, and I laughed out loud when I read Percy, which wasn't too good, as I was reading it at work, and then everyone wanted to know what I was procrastinating about...
Wonderful insight. I had to read it again once I knew it was Ron.
Author's Response: Thank you -- it\'s always nice when people don\'t find it obvious what\'s going on. Sorry if it got you funny looks at work. :)
This is the first review I have ever left, but after reading that, I couldn't just say nothing! It's excellent! I just hope Severus doesn't end that way in the books.
Author's Response: Wow, I\'m honored, so thanks alot for the review! I hope Severus doesn\'t end that way either, but anything is possible.
I was... ummm... reading this at work and kept laughing and sniggering, earning me very funny looks from colleagues. It's hilarious!
I think it's great how you've got the Slytherin team calling each other by their first names - it's a nice touch, makes them seem a bit more human. As the reader isn't familiar with their first names I think maybe you should have stuck to using their surnames just for the narration, because I did get a bit confused about who was who. And I definitely don't think the Weasleys would slip into such easy conversation with the Slytherin team as to address them by their first names, like you've got George doing right at the end.
You could use the first name / surname thing to great effect to create a feeling of how they are still very much two separate (rival) teams rather than one group of friends.
I'm not sure if you're trying to show a growing tolerance of each other by how they use their names. If you are, I think that narrating by using surnames for the Slytherins would provide a contrast and make it more obvious what you're doing.
Gosh, what a lot of waffle I write.
The touches of the Slytherins' home life are inspired! Especially the elf and the washing.
It fits so well with Deathly Hallows, yet doesn't give anything away. Wonderful!
I agree with HermioneDancr about the section on Ron. What about, "... and she realises he doesn't think their son is coming back."?
Nevertheless, very well written, including the parentheses (plural of parenthesis).
I loved how you started this, with each year of Fleur's life since GOF.
Just reading other reviews I thought it was worth mentioning that I like how you wrote Ron as living with George about the shop. I think it's completely plausible that Ron and Hermione are still not living together. I don't think George or Angelina would have been over Fred by this point either so I'm glad you didn't write that they were living together. It's great as it is, otherwise it's just a list of couples.
I do think it would be worth changing Penny's name to Audrey.
His fears? Flying...his own wand...fitting in...sticking out! His best friends? A passionate fire-breathing cousin, and a cool, aloof Death Eater's son. His destiny? Anything but ordinary!
Join Albus as he experiances his first year at Hogwarts and begins the journey out from under his father's collosal shadow, if he can survive it of course!
Meet the new Tenacious Trio, Albus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, and Rose Weasley
This is very good!
I like how you've created some new staff members, rather than assuming that all the ones we know about would be still teaching/still alive (love Filch's ghost!) and you've obviously thought very carefully about there names.
There are some excellent details that you've picked up from interviews too, like the description of the Hufflepuff common room.
I have read someone else's comment about spelling and I appreciate that you're using British spellings, but I thought I'd let you know that you have the occasional American word and some very American-sounding phrases in there still, for example, we don't use the word "bangs" in England, we say "fringe". I think you could improve this story by trying to use more British vocabulary.
Keep it coming!
Alas you British folk certainly have an advantage over this poor Southern boy! I realize it's a whole nother language with its own nuances and slang and plus I am writing about a closed society taht only exists in JK's head, added to the fact that this society is twenty years beyond her books...its a tough row I tell you!
thanks for your interest!
Call me paranoid, but I think someone is trying to kill me. A cursed opal necklace was sent to the school a while ago and EVERYONE knows that I have a bit of a thing for opals, since Gellert gave me an opal ring all those years ago. Some of my favourite mead was also poisoned recently. Please help! I'm so scared and I admire you so much! I'm sure you'll know what to do.
Love and cuddles,
I thought this was well written, if somewhat American-sounding. Whilst James does seem to be a bit of a git, your plot diverged early enough that I feel he, Sev and Lily could all have turned out very different as adults from how they are in the books.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Apologies for the Americanitis; I had a little trouble finding a Brit-picker. James does come off pretty badly, I realize, but we only get a very brief glimpse of him during a rather traumatic moment. I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)