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I'm a huge fanfic addict. Although I am more of a reader than a writer, since the only story I once started has never been finished, I check Mugglenet frequently and try to write reviews.
Summary: What if, on that fateful October night, it was not Lily's sacrifice that saved Harry, but James' sacrifice that saved them both? What if Lily is left to pick up the broken pieces of her life after its been shattered into a million pieces? Who would be there to rescue her? Who would get her through the night? This is a story of loss, of pain, of hopelessness, and ultimately, of healing.
After much deliberation and input from all you guys who have read thus far, I have officially decided to continue this story. It was initially supposed to be a one-shot, but I've decided I already have too much of my heart invested in it to quit now. :) Second chapter in progress. Thanks, all! Advice and reviews are still very welcome!
Hmm... Really interesting idea! I think you should keep going and explore both Lily's life and Harry's life later. There could be confrontations with Snape, Harry's childhood in (or not in?) the wizarding world, horcrux in Lily (?), and so many other things to explore.
Summary: James and Lily share a moment on the bench outside Honeydukes as they wait for their mates to join them.
Oh, wow, that was so cute. I especially liked the tentative hopefulness of the ending.
I was a little thrown by your use of the 1st person present tense point of view. I think that POV is a little too jarring, and you could have had comparable intimacy with Lily's thoughts using 3rd person POV.
Overall, though, it was great. The lily mittens were a nice touch!
Summary: As a Slytherin Sorted two years after the Battle, Astoria has never been popular. She's survived Hogwarts by keeping her head down. But when the news of her sister's engagement hits the papers, Astoria finds she's far more noticeable. For Daphne's fiance is Draco Malfoy, who is still universally loathed.
Why her sister wants to marry him, she has no idea. But then she meets Draco, and all loyalties are put asunder.
This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Cotillion 2014
Put Asunder is Astoria's version of the events first related in Until (Death) Eaters Do Us Part, and then Rumour Has It.
I am not JK Rowling. I think you know that by now.
What a great story! Not my go-to pairing, but I thought the characterizations were realistic and the chemistry compelling. It was not too long at all; just the right length.
However, I'm skeptical about the ending. I understand Draco's motivation for such a public announcement, but I think pulling such a stunt would make the reality worse, considering all the money that was wasted and the shame of the broken engagement and unplanned pregnancy. Couldn't Astoria and Draco have eloped and then called off the big wedding? I suppose that relies on age of consent laws and such.
Still, overall very satisfying.
Author's Response: Well, the original story which is from Draco's POV, was more about him wanting a bit of a show, and also he wasn't entirely sure Astoria would be there. I guess I should make that clearer in this. He was also creaming money off the top from all the caterers etc, so needed as much time as possible to put funds into place. There's also the fact that once everyone knows Astoria is pregnant then her parents will find it much harder to get rid of the baby. Also .... if you read Rumour Has It (which is the POV of Pansy) then that gives a little more insight into Draco. He was peed off with Daphne for sleeping with Anthony, so wanted to cause her humiliation as well. As this is from Astoria's POV, then you don;t quite get that message. I take your point though, and might look at tightening up some of the details.
Thank you very much for the review. ~Carole~