I noticed a few times you spelled Sirius' name without an 'i'.
Harry watched as Kreacher, his big globe shaped eyes peered up at Sirus.
Sirus looked at the scene at his feet with amazement.
Hermione looked up at Sirus as she said the last statement.
He gave a wary glance at Sirus before addressing Hermione. “I hope you brought the dishes back, young miss.”
Looking at his godson, Sirus sighed.
Harry looked at Sirus and Hermione. “I have to go,” he said as he rushed to the door.
Turning to Sirus, Hermione attempted to reassure him.
I know what he did before you died, but he has made it for it, over and over again.
I think you meant "made up for it."
Other than those few mistakes, I found the chapter quite enjoyable.
It seems that Harry can get what he wants from Kingsley. I wonder how the mission concerning Greyback will be.
As for the little twist at the end with Bill, gosh, I hope everything will turn out right.
*waits a moment* *bursts out laughing*
Haha. It'll be around the Weasley family in no time, I'm sure of it!
Keep up the great work Terri and I can't wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response: Allie,
Thank you. Dang keys on the laptop don't always put in the letters I type. Grrrr. Fixed all of them. Ahhh, but Bill is an Order member and knows when a secret must be kept. So, we will see what the Weasleys find out and when, won't we? hehehhee
Hmm... I wonder how many more people will find out about Sirius coming back, and whether Kingsley will be mad or not.
Great story so far Terri. I can't wait to see how this will turn out.
Keep up the great work.
*clicks 'add story to favorites'* *confirms saving story* *gushes over first chapter*
This was really cute Terri. I noticed you spelled Sirius' name wrong once, but that's not a big deal.
The main thing I noticed was that you sometimes started sentences off with the same word.
“No, you weren’t dreaming, Sirius. You were in the afterlife with James and Lily for all this time,” Hermione said gently.
Hermione quickly finished telling Sirius the rest of the story. When she told him of Molly’s outburst as she approached Bellatrix, Sirius laughed.
With the repeating of Hermione's name here, it kind of slows the chapter down. Instead of both Hermione's, it might have sounded better with a she replacing one of them.
I think this happened a few more times in the chapter, but I can't remember. The awesomeness of the story is blanking my memory of it. :D
Overall, I loved it. Sirius' reactions to the parts of Hermione's story were very in character and Hermione's want to include Harry is also in character.
I can't wait until the next chapter. Keep up the great work with this story!
Long live Sirius! He did not die, he fell. There is nothing in the book to say it was the killing curse, and thus JK Rowling made the mistake and opened up this argument of Sirius being dead or alive!
Author's Response: Allie,
It wasn't a killing curse that hit him. The light of the spell was red, not green. Which lead to the thought, if he was alive when he went through the veil...
I will fix those things. Thanks for pointing them out.
And I can assure you, he didn't die. The Veil transported him to America and to me. LOL Thanks for your review.