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WhatsInAName [Contact]

UPDATED 6/26/09

Name: Sam, Super Tall Dude, Freaky Hat Guy (or Freakin' Hot Guy), Angel of Music, Snickers - take your pick.

Age: Sixteen

Interests: I have been acting since the age of four, and hope to become at least partly famous.

Favorite canon ships: H/G, R/He, L/T

Boggart: Probably my friends and family dead.

Favorite food: anything and everything

Favorite non-HP book: I honestly have too many favorites, to choose just one.

Favorite song: Once again, I have too many to pick one.

Favorite person: Now, really, I'm not about to say that. Honestly...

Thing I'm looking forward to most: Deathly Hallows is here, so I'm looking for something new to put here.


NOTE: After seeing the pictures of Dan in 'Equus' (not recommended that you do the same), I have created a to-do list for him:

1) Shave until I can grow a real beard, and not look like the thirteen-year-old who's writing this.

2) Visit a tanning salon. Seriously.

3) Put a shirt on.

4) And some pants.

5) Remind myself that going onstage naked would ruin my reputation as everyone's favorite family-friendly wizard. Also, remind myself that angry parents will probably mob me after I ruin said reputation.

6) Don't kill horses.

7) Get a haircut.

8) Give Sam an autograph.

9) Don't pose for lewd photos. I'm not a porn star.

10) Quit Equus.

Quotes: None at the moment

Other stuff:

Ack! I just found this out. There was this poll, called '100 Worst Britons', held back in '03 by some British TV station. Harry was number 35! *sob*

give WhatsInAName more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Schmerg_The_Impaler, Gin_PotterGirl AKA GinnyPotter, nikkiolapotter, dear irony, Heiress_of_Insanity_, WhatsInAName

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that darn Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Even when you can't see Him, God is there! If you believe in God, put this in your profile.b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.



(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

Please answer all questions before scrolling down for the answers.

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese Gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below.


(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.

Story Statuses:

Harry's Song, is up, so hopefully it will be enjoyed. *starts celebrating, then remembers the poetry is rather somber, and desists*

Them, is UP, and thank you to those of you who have reviewed.

Wings of a Dove, is up! This was originally part of Pax as Ginevra's Dirge, but it's been rewritten and is no longer a dirge. So it has its own thing now.

I'm Not That Girl, is a songfic set to (you guessed it) I'm Not That Girl from the musical Wicked. It's my first story-format HP thingamabob to be submitted to MNFF. UPDATE: Wow. This is a really bad piece of writing. My recommendation? Don't read it. My apologies to anyone who has already.

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Stories by WhatsInAName [5]
Favorite Authors [8]
Favorite Stories [12]
WhatsInAName's Favorites [20]
Reviews by WhatsInAName

You Smell! You Stink! But, I Like You, I Think... by MartiOwlsten

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 210 Reviews
Summary: Mischief happens; for sixth-year Gryffindor, Andran Audierus, it's somewhat expected. Clumsiness also happens, and for New student Marti Owlsten, it's more of a way of life. Put these two together, and they may end up in over their heads in trouble... and toothpaste. Insults, ransom notes, magical dares, pranks... will they make it to their seventh year in one piece? **This is a post-HP7 fic, by about ten to fifteen years... but that doesn't mean their won't be familiar faces. Lots of humor, butn also a good plot line, too**
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 04/04/05 Title: Chapter 7: Man, I feel like a... Hula Dancer?

Gosh, I love this story. I can see a bit of me (well, more than a bit) in both Marti and 'Listener' (very clever, by the way). Marti/Andran, please! Though, tell me if I'm wrong, I think that's what you had planned already. As for Zinny's threat, I'd really like to see Andran in that hula skirt! Anything cruel and funny sounds great to me. But, it's your story. 10!

Author's Response: You have no idea how wonderful it makes me feel to have someone say they love this story! I did have a plan, but then I wanted to know what my "audience" wanted... and now my plan is a little different, but I'm getting a feel for what should come about in the end. Though, it may take awhile to get there...

Author's Response: a/m:7, a/z:4, a/mc:1, m/c:1, z/c:1


Rated: Reviews
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 05/11/05 Title: None

Piddleswopper?! Okaaaaaaaay... Anyway, why do I get the feeling that that dodgy Polyjuice Potion is going to have some unplanned-on effects? Ten galleons on Harry! LOL! Anyway, great story! Malfoy getting married to a flobberworm? Snape kissing it? AAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

The Ghost of Godric Gryffindor by GoG

Rated:643 Reviews
Summary: At the start of Harry’s sixth year, the wizarding world is falling further under Voldemort’s evil control. Fudge has declared a draconian State of Emergency, but he is little more than Lucius Malfoy’s corrupt puppet. But when Malfoy seeks to impose Voldemort’s racist Pureblood ideology upon Hogwarts - the last bastion of the Light - the students rise up in revolt.

The spirits of the great Witches and Wizards of the Light, fearful for the future of the Wizarding world, send Harry and his friends a powerful ally, to help them in the desperate struggle to save Hogwarts and the wizarding world from impending darkness.

An epic struggle of Good against political corruption, racism, elitist ideology ... and Ultimate Evil. The roller-coaster plot twists and turns into the past and future – and Nightmare Realities, where the terrible consequences of failing to stop Voldemort are chillingly revealed.

A story to fascinate the intelligent reader ... philosophy, politics, time-travel, romance, humour ... and a few very cunning ideas.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 02/20/05 Title: Chapter 1: The Boy Who Died

Oh, wow... In my opinion, this should get you a place beside the greatest writers of our time. Everything about this was wonderful, beginning through end. I have not seen such a story since The Lord of The Rings. High praise, yet well-deserved.

By My Side by MoonysMistress

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 59 Reviews
Summary: One-shot. Remus Lupin lies half-dead in St. Mungo's, and Tonks kneels by his bedside, reflecting on what she might lose. Far more humorous than it seems! Written to the ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT song "By My Side" from Godspell. PG for mild language.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 06/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Confessions

This was beautiful, simply beautiful. By My Side is my favorite song from Godspell, and you more than did it justice. I first read this on Friday, and that night I went to Borders with some of my friends (our idea of fun). I had been looking for the Godspell soundtrack for nearly a year, with no luck, but what did I find there? You guessed it. So strange how that happens sometimes...


Halfway to Infinity by Eponine

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 270 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: He with the power to defeat the Dark Lord does not. Harry Potter is dead. Fifty years later, both Muggle and magical worlds belong to darkness. All serve Lord Voldemort. But even in the grimmest of times, idealists are born. Without a prophesy to direct them, a rebellion will rise. Follow Lottie Rowe as she finds her way into the center of the rebellion and the heart of the war.

Winner of the 2011 Best Chaptered Alternate Universe QuickSilver Quill Award!
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 08/26/06 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Four: The Ivory Table

Intriguing... The very first thing that caught my eye about this story was the first line of the summary- He with the power to defeat the Dark Lord does not. That was poetic! Sammy here is a sucker for poetic-ness, so you had me from that.

Anyway, the idea of the houses being for the purpose of the war effort was just perfect for your story! I would agree with whoever it was before me that said that each holds characteristics of every Hogwarts house. For example, Maelioric members must be brave above all else, a characteristic of Gryffindor, as they are the force of the war; without them, the rebels might as well give up. However, they must also work hard (Hufflepuff) to learn how to fight. They have to be intelligent (Ravenclaw) so that they don't go on a suicide mission for no reason, and they have to be cunning (Slytherin) to outwit the enemy forces. The pattern repeats itself for each house, each having its own, most important characteristic, but each also being dependant on the others to suceed. Clever...

I didn't catch any grammatical errors or anything, which is good for you, because I'm extremely picky about things like that. I probably would've written a separate review for each one... *sheepish grin* Okay, kidding ya a little bit, but you get the idea.

I'm not sure if you intended this, but the name Adelaide, from which we get Alice, Alison, and Ally, means 'noble kind.' An odd coincidence if an accident, clever naming if purposeful. Also, Charles, the root of Charlotte and Lottie, means 'warrior.' If that was intentional, I wonder why Lottie was placed in Palmyitor instead of Maelioric. I suppose I'll just have to wait and find out!

You have a new fan! Be proud... Just don't abuse the fact- reader loyalty goes only so far... :-P


Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I\'m so happy you noticed all of the characteristics from the Hogwarts Houses in my Houses. I was worried people would associate them with canon Houses.

Whew! Glad you didn\'t see any grammar problems! I tend to overlook those important details when working out plot. Heehee. I wouldn\'t mind a separate review for each nitpick. =)

Ooh, I didn\'t notice that about Ally\'s naming. That is a strang coincidence! What a clever catch! I actually thought of the name because my sister used to have a friend named Ally, and it just seemed to fit. Same goes for Lottie. Wow, I didn\'t even follow the name that far. I got to Charlotte when I stopped looking up meanings. =) The truth about Lottie\'s name is that I just like it a lot, and I think it fits her. Those coincidences are so crazy though! Awesome job finding them!

Oh thank you so much! I\'m so happy that you like it! Heh. ^^;;; Speaking of reader-loyalty, sorry this chapter is taking forever. My computer broke (sigh) so I can\'t reach my chapter five and sent it to the betas until the geek squad gets over here and helps me out.

Thanks so much for the amazing review!


Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 01/22/07 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter Nine: Colm's Tale

Great chapter, as usual. But I just have to say: Holy crap!!! Death Eaters?! This is not good...

Um, quick question... how do you pronounce Palmyitor? "Pall-my-i-tore," "pal-mee-tore," "pall-mee-i-tore"...

Heh... Every time I see the name Lottie in this story I think ofThe Phantom of the Opera... 'Little Lottie thought of everything and nothing. Little Lottie thought, "Am I fonder of dolls or goblins, of riddles or frocks, or of chocolates? No, what I love best," Lottie said, "is when I'm asleep in my bed, and the Angel of Music sings songs in my head, the Angel of Music sings songs in my head..."' Sorry... I'm obsessed with POTO... and Godspell, but that's another story.

Anywho, again, great chapter, and looking forward to more!


Author's Response: Thanks so much! Hahaha! You can say that again! *Cackles*

Hahaha, I can\'t tell you how many people can\'t pronounce Palmyitor. Even one of my betas can\'t figure it out. I think it\'s what you\'re thinking for the first one. \"Pal\" like another word for friend. \"My\" like \"my [insert random object here].\" The sound \"i\" like the I sound in \"it\" and \"fit\" and then \"tore\" like \"to give a tour.\"

Wow that was really grammatically incorrect. I hope you understand it anyway!

Hah! I\'m only a little familiar with Phantom of the Opera, but I know the song you\'re talking about. When it comes to British mega-musicals, Les Mis is my favorite. =D I don\'t know much about Godspell either. I\'ve only heard a few songs. I could talk about musicals for hours.

Thanks so much for the review!


Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 09/14/06 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Five: Alsemore

Yay! New chappie! The plot thickens...

Sheesh, Andrea's rather unpleasant, isn't she? Or maybe that's just Lottie's perception of her. She is a bit know-it-all, but everyone has something they're like that about. She just has a bit more. Back out of my philosophical (I think that's right -- I really have no idea how to spell that...) moment, maybe Andrea's the Hermione of this story. In the first bits of Philosopher's/Sorceror's Stone, Hermione came across as some bossy holier-than-thou girl who didn't exactly have much in the way of looks. That's a lot like Andrea seems now. Of course, Andrea could be like that anyway, whether one knows her or not.

On the subject of Lottie's acquaintances, Ally seems to have completely forgotten about her buddy over in Palmyitor. Wonder what's up with that?... I really must stop asking these semi-rhetorical questions, since I know they're all going to be answered at some point during the story. But anyway, Ally needs a dose of loyalty to her friends -- they're going to be the ones watching her back in the war, and vice versa. Might not be too pleasant then if she decides to be Miss Priss. Of course, this is all a bit premature -- maybe Ally didn't see Lottie's wave. One can only hope...

Some of the classes seem a bit... advanced for eleven-year-olds. Occlumency? Legilimency? Someone we all know and love didn't start learning them until mid-fifth-year, and even then had more than a little trouble with it. Then again, these kids won't have Snape for a teacher, so maybe that'll help.

Yet again, I have nothing to be nitpicky about *gasp*. What am I gonna do with myself if i can't be nitpicky?! I'm meellltiiing... *mysteriously recovers* Not that there's anything wrong with that. Nope. Nothing.

All in all, another great chapter. So, where's the next one? *zombie walk* Must... have... another... *trips* Um... right.


Author's Response: Woot! Review!

Yeah... Interesting point you bring up about Andrea and Hermione, actually. I\'m glad that you noticed that it could have just been Lottie\'s perception, though. Lottie\'s sort of one-sighted about things, so her view isn\'t always the nicest about people.

I think that\'s the perfect term for Ally! Miss Priss, how fitting. Not everybody can have a perfect relationship like Ron and Harry, meeting and becoming best friends on the first day, so poor Lottie got sucked into Ally\'s trap.

Yeah, the first years have to do a lot more than the Hogwarts first years. With Occlumency and Legilmency, they don\'t actually start trying to fight it/break into somebody\'s mind for a while (a LONG while). He might do some examples, but not even the heads at Alsemore could expect a first year to be able to do Legilmency or Occlumency.

Wow! That\'s excellent! You can thank my two amazing betas for that one.

Haha, hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner! Thanks so much for your review!


Muggles can't be Witches! by Wand_Waver2006

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 54 Reviews
Summary: Lara Winston is a regular teenager--she's fourteen, loves books, and has her own garden full of plants and flowers. Her sarcastic attitude sometimes gets her in trouble, and her cat is the same way. Her grandparents are very old-fashioned, but that's why she loves them. Then, one night, Harry Potter comes to her bedroom--and her whole world is turned upsidedown.

Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 11/05/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Harry Potter...Harry Potter is in my bedroom

*raises hand* Guilty! The Eragon one is, after Harry Potter, my fantasy world of choice. I must admit I was waiting until my 13th birthday for my letter... I was sure it had either gotten lost somewhere, been misdelivered, or I would be headed for Salem, and America had a different system. Unfortunately, that never happened. The same can probably said for thousands of the younger fans... one reason why this story is so appealing. It focuses on yet another hopeless dreamer, whose dreams are actually reality. *sigh* What I would do as a wizard... Oh well... Loved the story! Hoping for an update soon, and wondering why Lara is being chosen... Till then!

Author's Response: Nice.^^ Thanks for teh review, and I\'m workin\' on chappie 2 now. It\'s coming along very well.

Draco's Trick-or-Treat by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 88 Reviews
Summary: Three-year-old Draco goes trick-or-treating for the first time. His mother takes the opportunity to teach him some lessons and Malfoy family values that she believes will be important to her son later in life. This depiction of Draco is VASTLY different from the version of him that I write in "The Dark Lord's Blog."

Ridiculously short one-shot.

Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 09/21/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only!

This is so... real. It's hard to see what Draco was, once upon a time. Back when he may have believed in once upon a time. Back when he could have done anything, been anyone. Then his life changed forever.

The saddest part of it, is the implication that Draco is not the first. That might just be me seeing things that aren't there (and believe me, that's happened a lot), but it seems that you're telling another story in the background, one about his mother or his father, one Halloween, hiding from a scary costume, wanting candy from a Muggleborn house, watching their mother or their father wide-eyed, soaking in every bigoted word. The spiral into prejudice continues here, and nothing can stop its descent.

Great story, Schmergo. Keep it up!


Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for your lovely review, Sam! And no, you weren\'t reading too much into it-- I wanted to get the idea that Narcissa was carrying on sort of a family tradition.

I wrote this for Coppercurls, who wanted a one-shot about \"A very in-character Draco,\" and somehow this spawned from it!

Counting to Five Thousand by Rhetor

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 54 Reviews Past Featured Story
Summary: One decision leads to an army of consequences, and a lifetime is not too long to spend amending them.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 02/03/07 Title: Chapter 3: Epilogue: Counting to One

Wow. Precious few fics can even come close to making me cry, and I'm happy to say that this is one of them. It was so beautiful. It's going in my favorites, definitely. ~Sam

Author's Response: Thanks, Sam. I\'m sorry it took me so long to respond to your review. I\'m honored by your praise. ~Ken

A Past Reclaimed by nuw255

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 1455 Reviews
Summary: Sequel to A Stolen Past. Please read that story first, as this one really won’t make sense if you don’t.

Harry Potter has rejoined the Wizarding world after a year-long absence, but still has no memory of his time at Hogwarts. Will he ever get his memory back? Will he be able to pass his classes without it? And most importantly, will he ever be able to defeat Lord Voldemort? Read on as the last of the mysteries introduced in A Stolen Past are finally revealed.

This is a story of friendship and mystery, with a healthy dose of H/G thrown in for good measure.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 02/04/07 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21: False Death

It hit me as I was reading this, that this could refer to Dumbledore. If this spell existed in a timeline (like HBP) where Dumbledore was supposedly dead, it could mean that he was still alive. *sigh* Dumbledore... I'm still not over that... Oh, well. Great chapter!

Author's Response: *sigh* If only JKR hadn\'t come out and said Dumbledore was really dead, we could all pretend until DH comes out. Actually, a lot of us pretend anyway. ;-)

Thanks for the review. I\'m glad you enjoyed it!

They Told me Not To by Heiress_of_Insanity_

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 13 Reviews
Summary: They told me not to cry at night

Just sleep.

They told me not to add

Or keep.

Harry is dead. Ginny mourns.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 01/25/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Awesome, Monty. Adding this to my faves. Looking forward to your next submission! (and trying to figure out why mine won't go through...)


Author's Response: Thank you! ~H_o_I_

Author's Response: I\'m not really sure when my next submission will be...But Thanks for reviewing!~H_o_I_

Memories by Heiress_of_Insanity_

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 13 Reviews
Summary: I must admit,

I loved just once.

Dimples and


She was perfect,

I was free.

I told her

We were meant to be!

This story is a lot lighter than the title depicts. It’s about Tom Riddle’s love life, even though he never really liked a girl (note the Alternate Universe warning). Therefore, this poem is probably AU and OOC. Please read and review, despite the weird summary!

*GASP* The second chappie's UP?! Aparently so! YAY! *wipes sweat off of forehead*
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 01/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

AWESOME!!! This is even better than 'TTMNT' (and that's They Told Me Not To, not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)! And it is strange how stories turn into themselves as you write... Oh, well...

Show-off time! You said on your profile you're not sure how to spell 'fiance'? It's fiance for a man, fiancee for a woman. I think. It could be the other way around. So I'm not showing off, just making a fool of myself.

ANYwho, loved it!


Author's Response: Thank you! This was another little poem that I did around midnight, funny how that happens...But thanks for reviewing (and telling me how to ((possibly)) spell fiance!~H_o_I_

Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 02/04/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Two things. First, this is awesome, as usual. You are far better than I am at writing poems. It's true! Second, some people are annoying. You know who I mean. Bwahahaha! No one else who reads this will know what I mean!! Except you, that is. But anyway, 10/10!!

Author's Response: Thanks! But no, you\'re an excellent poet! And some people are annoying. It took me a few seconds to understand who...gr. Did you get IT? *runs off to kill, I mean, talk to SOMEONE* Sorry if it\'s kind of confusing for people who are reading this...But thanks again, and I prefer to differ on Number One~H_o_I_

Potter's Pentagon: The Five (Book One) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 334 Reviews
Summary: WARNING! This story contains a jingle-bell antler headband, a shower of potatoes, boy/girl mushiness, underwear karaoke, family trouble, an excessively adorable werewolf, death, the song "Werewolves of London," betrayal, and the word 'Jordan' five times in a row near the beginning of chapter seven.

Twenty-one years after Voldemort's defeat, five fourth-years are faced with a new threat. Will all of the five stay true to the light side? Will they all emerge whole in the end? Will Jordan Potter ever get a life? You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gasp, you'll sigh! Part one in a trilogy!

Well, after much deliberation and consideration, I've decided to submit my future-gen trilogy! This particular installment is three years old, so it's definitely different from my current writing style, but I'm quite fond of the characters.

DH is disregarded. It's a total coincidence that one of the main characters is named Ted Lupin.

Starring Quicksilver Quills 2008 Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, and Emma Weasley, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin!

Five times nominated (once for each member of Potter's Pentagon!) for the Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards, and nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards...

Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 09/21/07 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: In Which Havoc Is Wreaked

*TEH GASPNESS* Schmergo wrote something - not humor?! Still, though, this is really funny. My brother has shaved his head a few different times. One time, it was around Christmas, and my family was invited to this party. My brother was bestowed a headband of bell-crowned antlers, with a mane on the back. I think we still have the picture sitting around somewhere.

But I'm getting majorly off-topic. I don't usually read second-gen fics, and even though it was by you, I wasn't going to read it, and then my friend was like 'hey, this is awesome' so I read it. And I'm veeeeeeeery grateful to my friend now.

So, characters. Character development is exceptional, though I was afraid for a few chapters that Haley (who is very much like my friends and me) wouldn't get much development, but then she was saved by Ted (who is also a lot like me. Yay multiple personalites!), and has been growing steadily since then. (I'm probably going to say this more than once in this review: this is WAY better than anything I wrote at twelve, or - ever, really.) Ted is very much like his father, but he's been around the Potters and Weasleys a good bit, so he's absorbed some of their personalities, which makes for a very complex character. And if that character if going to get bitten by a werewolf, so much the better. For some characters, being a werewolf would be devastating, but Ted has the history of being around a werewolf, and, as much as it might be a struggle, knowing that he's still human, no matter what he looks like, and it helps him grow.

Ivy. That name is so... Malfoy. Which makes perfect sense. It's almost like, even though the Potters adopted her, and she's no longer a Malfoy in name, her first name is like part of her past holding her back. Having her dad on the loose seems like a manefistation of the amount of power her past has over her. Ivy is beautifully and terribly torn, between loving the father who used to pick her up and twirl her around, and fearing and despising the tattered soul that replaced him. (Okay, that was a little too poetic. Moving on!)

Jordan is emo. Emo emo emo. Every story needs a good emo person, and Jordan fits the bill. The great thing is, unlike some stories, he has a reason to be emo. And he has an awesome rant vocabulary. Oo, idea moment! Is he going to say 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeiosis' any time soon? Cause that would be awesome. I love that song he was singing (Everybody's Changing, not Satisfaction, heh)... *goes to iTunes to look for it* *realizes he doesn't, in fact, have an iPod* *is saving for one*

Tyrone is so... believable. I know people very much like him who aren't nearly as likable (and had to room with them for a week - nightmare). He screams 'Teenage!Sirus', but he's more, well, serious than Teenage!Sirus is often portrayed.

Emma is an interesting character. Maybe it's because she's actually normal, at least compared to the other characters. She's kind of a balance for the insanities of the rest of the cast. Lemme guess - something bad's gonna happen to her.

Something I love about this, is that you're not afraid to hurt your characters (like I said, WAY better than I was at twelve). To quote Sirius, 'a deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the monotony nicely.' And deadly struggles did indeed occur, though there wasn't any monotony to break. YAY! VIOLENCE!

*cough* Um, yeah. Bit of a Haley moment, there. A really twisted Haley moment. (I'm going to call random outbursts Haley moments from now on. It's such a great term.)

I really have nothing left I can say, except... holy moley, this is an awesome story! I believe there's another chapter in queue at the moment, so hopefully it won't be too long until it's validated. I am officially hooked.


Author's Response: Wow, a lovely-ful long review! I\'m glad you like the characters... it is a trilogy, so there is a lot of development to come for these dudes.

ZOMG, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeiosis is my favourite word! I use it whenever I can! (Like making up causes of death... it and defenestration are my favourites.)

I know what you mean about feeling like more than one character... because I am like Haley, Emma, AND Jordan! But not emo. ^__^

The funny thing about Tyrone is that I almost always hate people like him in real life, but I really like Tyrone!

Hmmm... never heard Emma described as \'normal\' before! Maybe it\'s because I\'ve written all three stories and you\'ve just read the first 8 chapters of this one, but she\'s kind of unpredictable and immature in a different way than Haley, kind of emotionally immature. As for whether something bad happens to her... well, you\'ll have to find out for yourself, won\'t you?

I feel really bad about hurting my characters, but I can do it-- although I still feel really awful about killing Tyrone\'s mum and letting Ted get attacked!

I hope you like the rest of it... Chapter 9 has been in queue for eleven days, so let\'s hope it\'s validated soon!

Hogwarts Musical: Chamber of Secrets by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 150 Reviews
Summary: Anyone heard those rumours about a Harry Potter musical?

It better be just like this.

No, but seriously, it's a spoof of the songs from Disney channel's infamous "High School Musical," telling the tale of JK Rowling's infamous "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." (I was dared; I took the challenge.)

You will never see the Basilisk the same way again.

P.S. You may also want to check out my Beatles and Phantom of the Opera spoofs. Just click on my username and it'll take you to my delightfully chaotic author's page.
Twice nominated for Best Poem in the Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 08/31/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only

Merlin's beard, Schmergo, you've done it again! I'm still trying to get the image of Efron!Harry out of my head. I've gotta keep it, keep it if I want to stay in pl-THWONK.

You've got me imagining all sorts of musical spoofs. I was watching Evita last night, and my parents were wondering why I was laughing at 'Don't Cry For Me, Argentina'. If only they knew...



Author's Response: Awww, thanks, Sam! Efron Harry... ew... I\'m imagining Zac Efron in robes and glasses.

Oh, I love Evita! I\'m not quite sure what spoof I would write for \"Don\'t Cry For Me, Argentina\" (Don\'t Cry For Me, Marge and Petunia? Naaaah...) but I can imagine this:

Oh what a battle, oh what a duel!
All of Hogwarts has gone to to town
Over the death of a psycho named LORD VOLDEMORT!
They\'ve all gone craaaa-aazy
Dancing all day and drinking all night
Shooting wand beams and singing like freaks
Out of happiness, right?
Oh what an exit, that\'s how he\'d go!
When your Horcruxes all run out
Who\'d want to be buried like LORD VOLDEMORT?
Alone and friendless, shriveled and pale
And ugly as sin
I\'d hate to admit it, but I\'m... feeling sorry for him!

Really Wicked: Stephen Schwartz's Wicked Gone Potter by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 79 Reviews
Summary: It's another spoof by Schmerg_The_Impaler!

This time, it's "Wicked," by Stephen Schwartz, remodeled to tell the story of Voldemort's life!

I also have spoofs of Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and High School Musical on my profile, if anyone would care to read.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 03/28/08 Title: Chapter 1: Act One

Oh... My... Gosh. That was WOW! As much as I loved the Voldy-fied Les Mis, this was so... so... asqueeably awesomely COOL! (You have no idea, the temptation to say 'wicked', there...)

Thank you so much for using the 'more/mort' thing! I'm the only person I know who actually says VoldeMORE, instead of MORT, and that was totally vindicating. Speaking of Mort, did I spy a Discworld reference at the end of Attacking the City/One Short Day? I know that was Volde-mort, but I think you mentioned Discworld in your profile, so I was curious.

There were so many too-cool things, but if I try to go into them all right now, I'll write this to death, and you'll likely never actually get the review - bad habit of mine, as proven by the fact that I started writing this on Easter, and it's now like a week later.

I do want to try recording one of these. I've been meaning to do that for a while, actually, with Les Mis and Phantom. Hopefully I won't mangle anything.

Okey-dokey, then. Happy Easter (a week ago)!


Author's Response: Thank you sooo much! And thank you so much for reading the Les Mis one, because... almost no one did. I don\'t think I intentionally made a Discworld reference, but I\'m a bit obsessed, so references tend to creep in without my even meaning it. For instance, there\'s one line in my story, \"A Quest For Ice Cream,\" that\'s a direct quote from one of Terry Pratchett\'s books, and I thought I\'d make it up myself until someone informed me otherwise.

\r\nHappy fourth of July in like four months!

Potter's Pentagon: The Past (Book Three) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 683 Reviews
Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!

WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.

It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?

New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.

Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 11/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Has A Bad Experience With A Hobo

Hey, Schmergo! *sigh* I don't review nearly often enough. That said, I shall continue.

Tyrone is now my favorite character, for, among other things, singing 'A Whole New World' (though, I semi-take-that-back; he and Haley are tied for favorite character, since they both sing). Call it cheesy, but I love that song. What I do not love, however, is the clample (that's clip and sample mushed. I use leditter, too - that's letter to the editor) of the song that Music Theatre International has on their website for Aladdin Jr. 1) Their voices annoy me, and 2) Aladdin drops down instead of going up on 'a whole new world'. Like... okay, he's supposed to go E-F-A-G above middle C, but instead, the Aladdin in the clip goes E-F-A-G below middle C. The effect is unpleasant and frankly unimpressive. *shudderfest* My question is, if they know that most guys eligible to play Aladdin in one of their shows (people under 18) can't hit that high A, why don't they just change the key so the person can go up, and it won't be so ugly-sounding?!?!?! Rant over.

On the subject of musicals: a friend of mine, her godsister, and I are getting together later this week to shoot a couple short films. (As uber-possum as that will be, it really isn't important, but it's part of the narrative.) If we have time afterward, we're recording our own Phantom soundtrack! With me, ahem, singing all the guy parts. (That's kinda important, but it's not the winner.) AND, while we're doing that, I'm going to see if I can worm in one or two of your PotO parodies. (There we go!) See, I'd do it on my own equipment, except I don't have any, unless you count my lousy camera. My friend, on the other hand, is much better prepared to do something of that nature. So hopefully, I can get those done, and post them on YouTube or something. Are there any in particular you'd like to see/hear done?

Back to actually talking about the story... I love the fact that Jordan is having (prophetic?) dreams, and not just because it's a cool plot twist (which it is). Prophetic dreams and such actually run in my family on my dad's side. I inherited the trait, and believe me, those things can be *bizarre*. I've never had a bad dream like that (though I'm alone in that among those who get them in my family), but they're just... uncanny (Captain Obvious, to the rescue!). For example, the other night, I had a dream that Rick Riordan (he's the author of this book series I read) was in my town, and I had lunch with him, and left my iPod in his car while in a forest, normal dream things like that. Well, the following day, I was reading his blog, and it turns out he had been in my town for the last. three. days. I checked, no references to the trip in his previous posts or anywhere else. It's just things like that, generally nothing significant, but they're freaky. Hah - maybe this'll inspire you or something. *head inflates*

And of course, I managed to get off topic again. Oh, well. If you can trawl through all the different jumbled thoughts here, I congratulate you. Au revoir.


PS. I'm serious about the PotO spoofs! What do you want to see?

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, amazing long review! Thank you so much for the review! I love, love, love Tyrone. He's so kooky, but so much fun. I love musical theatre, so it makes freeeequent appearances in my stories. Ewwww, the Aladdin Jr. clip sounds not-so-good. I HATE it when people do that. And if you want to hear something really nasty, go to iTunes and find the album of Les Miserables by "The New Musical Cast." I have no idea what "The New Musical Cast" means, but they recorded the most freakishly terrible version of Les Mis that I can imagine.

It sounds really cool that you would do recordings like that with your friends; one time, my friend and I recorded our way through "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and that was lots of fun. As for recording my Phantom spoofs (Which would be SO cool), feel free to pick any of the songs. That was my first spoof, so I feel like most of the songs I wrote for that spoof aren't the best I've done... so I guess I can't really pick a favourite.

Hey, hey! That's so cool about the dreams! I've never had dreams like that, but my dreams go in order-- like, each night's dream will follow the previous night's dream, and there's the whole alternate dream reality, where I go to a different school and live in a different house have a different best friend and everything. By the way, I know who Rick Riordan is-- I love those Percy Jackson books!

Nott On Your Life by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 11 Reviews
Summary: Theodore Nott has had quite his share of adventures, thank you very much. Bravery has never been a Slytherin value. But when he stumbles across a corpse, Theo begins an adventure that includes carnivorous plants, bizarre food items, a disturbingly amorous butcher, lots of blood and gore, plot twists galore, the rhyme I just made, and a little bit of the Grim Reaper thrown in just to spice things up.

I suggest you read at least one of the previous Theo Nott stories ("To Be Or Nott To Be" and "Oh No, Nott Again!") so that this will make more sense to you, but if you don't, that's your funeral. Oh, ha, ha, aren't I just chock-full of puns today?

I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House, and this is my submission to Gauntlet Number Seven!
Reviewer: WhatsInAName Signed
Date: 12/10/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: And More And More Violent....

Hafta say, these Nott puns are growing on me. What's next, 'Nott a Chance'? How about 'Nott Good'? Or maybe, 'He Loves Me, He Loves Me Nott'?

This was certainly unique. You have a way with words, Schmergo. I honestly can't think of many other authors who can use 'blood' twenty times (I counted... and that's this chapter only. Of course, that includes two or three references to blood-replenishing potion, but *still*.) and still keep a tongue-in-cheek tone. Bravissima!

Oh, speaking of opera-related things, we ran out of time on filming day, thanks to 1a) my friend's little brother coming down with a stomach bug, 1b) my friend's godsister's mother deciding that it was too risky to let her come (when the kid wasn't contagious at all), and 2) the unanticipated length of time devoted to filming. So, we didn't get to record anything of yours parody-wise. However, I'm going to see what I can do with my stuff, and maybe I can work something out. Do you know of any good karaoke tracks on iTunes for PotO or any other musicals? Because, if there are any, I'll probably use them for parody recording.

...Where was I? Got sidetracked. That happens a lot. Anywho, yeah, blood. Bit more than I expected, but like I said, you handled it quite well. And I nearly pulled a muscle at the 'boyfriend' bit. Immature reaction? Quite possibly. What can I say? Awkwardness is awesome... *because*. It's sort of along the lines of stage kisses in middle school/high school productions. There's absolutely no logical reason for them to be awkward, they just are... *because*. Reminds me of 'Godspell'... you wouldn't believe the giggle-issues people had with Judas kissing Jesus' (my) hand. I don't want to know what would have happened if we had done it the acurrate way...

Since I'm now into ramble mode, I'd better bring this to a close. So long!