Single working mother living in the suburbs.
Old Slytherin ghost that lurks in the Commons. Nikki Sue and Viv remembers me in my youth
Still a writer at heart,
Yup. I know that all-to-familiar feeling of wanting someone you know you don't need to be with.
I loved the way you played that out in here.
Oh my God!
I'm so speechless, I can't even write this review right.
Great chapter! Great use of words! And the IMAGERY!
You have quite and imagination. *raised eyebrow*
I can't stop reading...
Written as a Term Challenge: Holidays Abroad submission for Slytherin.
Yes. This is a good heart wrenching fic.
I wrote a story about Merope too, but I didn't go into depth on their relationship as you did here. So it's interesting, for me, to read someone else's take on Merope's story.
It had me feeling for her as I was reading it. When he came to in the cafe, after the effects of the potion wore off, I was scared for her. And I felt embarrassed for her as people looked on as they were arguing and as she was dragged, by Tom, through the streets. It good that you can hook the reader in with these emotional scenes.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. It\'s wonderful as an author to read reviews like this. Good luck in future writings!
This is very well written. You've showed such strong emotions through your imagery that one can't help but to connect with the story.
I especially love this part:
Kneeling as she was, Ginny was the portrait of a prayer; a plea to love for love. She was supplicating for Harry. That wherever he was, he could hear her voice, and see the star in the night that would lead him home.
I remember doing that when I worry about someone I love.
I love how you show that strong connection in Harry & Ginny's love.
I love the idea that love can be so strong that it can overcome time and distance. This story really shows how love can conquer all things.
Author's Response: Yes, love is indeed a strong feeling. It governs over all things, be it the presence of love or the lack of it. It's an honour to receive all these compliments :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!
This is the first story that I've read where I actually felt sorry for Lucius.
For a moment I thought that his actions were a bit OOC, but considering this was his first kill then I could see the premise for what he was acting and feeling the way he was.
You went in depth with Lucius's feelings from his being made a Death Eater by his father to his remorse in killing Lily's parents. It actually had me feel pity for him. It's good that you can evoke such emotions out of the reader.
The part where he delivers the message to Lily felt a bit off to me. Since I hear so much about Lily's temper, I would have thought she'd killed Malfoy at first sight. But I guess her grief over her parents death took some of the fire out of her anger. Yet I would have liked to see a bigger fuss from her.
Considering this is the man who killed her parents, I figure she would have more to say to him than just that.
Great story. The last scene where he is crying in his wife's arm after being crucio sums up the story very well. I see why you chose the title for this fic.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I\'m glad you liked it.
And you have a fair point about Lily. I did overlook her temper. However, I think she was distraught, and somehow managed to feel a certain amount of sympathy for Lucius.
Thanks again for the review. *hugs*
If only this were true! *sniff*
This is a lovely story. I love the Lily/Snape ship because I truly believe he loved her back then.
And for you to show her love for him in return just makes this even more enjoyable to read. It reminds me of how I'm still friendly with my Ex.
Author's Response: Thanks! This is actually a mother\'s-favorite fic, along with the first one I ever posted. I\'m glad you liked it too!
I like seeing the fiery temper in Lily. I can see where Harry gets it from.
And you brought up some great insight into Lily's mind. I would have never had thought that Lily could be jealous of James for having good friends. I always thought that Lily would have enough good friends since she is so kind hearted. But the fact that you go further into saying that:
But above the rest, he had great friends. His friends would die for him, as he would for them.
Makes her jealousy believable cause she doesn't have true friends like that.
You got a great start on your fic.
Oh, My... *this is me laughing*
The plot thickens! So Lily is tricked into an auction where she is up for bidding. And lo and behold, James finds himself there ready to take advantage of the situation.
Interesting, very interesting....*evil grin*
I loved how James reveals his plan to Lily. I think if he were anyone other that James Potter, it would have come off as incredibly cheesy. But because it's James, and what we know of James and Lily in the future, it feels incredibly romantic.
If I could nit pick at something, I would have loved to see more interaction from James's parents only because we know so little about them from the HP universe. I think some conversation or some description of what they looked like from either of them, might give the reader a better look at why James acts the way he does.
That was so sweet!!
And did I detect some irony in there with the sixty galleon and him begging her to go out with him for six years??
That's just too cute!!
This has a great start. It's a shame that it's a one shot. But sometimes good stories have to be told, regardless of length.
I would have liked you to have gone darker with this. Maybe that's just me being evil *did I say that out loud*, but the deaths of Draco and Narcissia seems rather quick to me - like they were killed to be killed. I would have liked to have seen more drama in that scene before they got killed off.
Maybe have Narcissia pleading passionately to the point where she's on her hands and knees. Then Voldemort gives her a thoughtful look like he was moved by her words when he obviously wasn't. I would have liked some gut wrenching reaction to Draco as he saw his mother fall lifeless to the ground. Or some small sign of stress appear from Lucius as he is forced to witness his family's death.
Just something dramatic to get the reader feel the point of their deaths, so it doesn't feel like they were killed in vain. That way our hearts can bleed for Lucius as he decides to take his own life.
Speaking of which, why the dagger? Was it because he felt unworthy of a quick death? Or was he too much of a coward to do it quickly? What morbid thoughts are going through his mind as he looks at the dagger that will kill him??
Author's Response: I am about to change some things, thanks for pointing them out!:) I chose the dagger because I felt that it is more dramatic than having him AK himself. I am going to start writing more fics, keep watching for them:). ~Lana Thanks for Reading!
Oooh! Why is this story completed???
Author's Response: Because it\'s over. It\'s part of a series of memories. This is the first memory.
Oooh! Why is this story completed???
Author's Response: Rotfl, because it\'s over.
Oooh! Why is this story completed???
Author's Response: Haha, you posted a lot. -Bean
Mercy! I've never read anything quite this dark before.
Your insight into the life of the werewolf pack is remarkable. I like how you have Greyback stand above the pack as a wolf who has a need (a priority) to infect, while everyone else just has this need to survive.
The imagery of him transforming as he waited to kill this woman...and then the aftermath of what was left of her, it just leaves me shuddering.
I hope there more to come from this!! Its a shame to see it end here.
Wow. That makes sense. That really makes sense. I love reading a story with a good twist to it.
I love the fic. It is deeply moving cause it is so sad. To have lost someone before their time, especially in a miscarriage, just seems so unfair.
But because the unfairness of it all, and maybe because Bella is slightly to blame since she was still doing missions for the Dark Lord, I would have expected her to act just a little crazy by it. Just give her a hint of her instability. Make it more heated. Make her more vicious like how wounded animals sometimes lash out when they're being helped.
“I killed her,” Bella cried out as she buried her head in Rodolphus’ chest.
I would have expected her to be pounding in his chest like she's trying to hurt him. Because sometimes, when you deeply feel that you are at fault for something, then words or acts of comfort could almost seem patronizing.
And some people lash out even more, and sometimes more violently , when people act kind to them cause they do feel unworthy
But all in all, I love the fic. I sometimes forget that Bella was proably a sane girl before she caught up in Voldemort's mess and sent to Azkaban.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, and I\'m glad you liked the story.
I like your idea of portraying Bella in a more vicious way. The reason I didn\'t go that way was because I saw her more as beaten, defeated. She wouldn\'t have had the energy to push Rodolphus away.
Anyway, thanks again for the lovely review!
I must say, I not a big fan of Marauder Era fics, but this one had my interest kept.
Of course, the camaraderie between the 4 boys (James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter) is very evident in the story. I’m quite surprised to see Peter so involved in the plot. I always saw Peter as somewhat of a “Yes, Man” – someone following the other 3 around like some kind of lapdog. But here, he’s seems very vital, and very much with a backbone where as some stories have him sniveling.
I love how the chapters have the right mixture of humor and drama so that one can keep laughing through the tears. The slapstick humor between James in Sirius, particularly on their one ups man ship in detention, had me rolling.
And the little mini dramas are very interesting too. I’d never thought that Sirius would be the type to be jealous of Professor McIntosh’s growing fandom amongst the female student body. Yet the little dramaedy is interesting. Also, the little plot point that kept me going was the love loss between Remus and Haley. I think by the end of chapter 18, I was saying “Shit” too. I wish he could have told her, but it’s an author’s prerogative to make their world and their story the way that they see fit. But still, I wish. Cause when she said that she was done and walked away, I had to stop for a minute to take a breath.
But overall, the reason why I like this story so much cause it displays the simple truth of our human nature. All this time, everyone is seeing how much Sirius and Kristy are meant for each other, but the two of them are a bit reluctant to admit it to each other. And then there’s the part of the little tart in Debbie Swain, where Sirius shows her a bit of attention cause he likes feeling wanted… I find that as an honest reaction that most people feel. It’s like that old saying goes: if you can’t be with the one you love, then you love the one you’re with.
I like this story, and I’ll be watching for more chapters soon.
I loved this.
I've just recently became a Dramione convert, so I love reading stories like these.
I love how Draco has to come to terms with himself and his life after the harsh confrontation with his after.
And I love how the Green Dragon just magically apprears when he needs it the most. Hermione just happens to walk in when he starts to ramble about her. Then when he is able to come to grips with himself, the place dissappers
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m glad you liked it, and I\'m happy you understood what I was trying to get at while writing some parts. =]
You've really showed us the depth of Hermione's intelligence through her love of reading in this story. From her strict habit of reading a book from beginning to end and her reading out loud so she can better understand the text, you've really shown how she became the insufferable know-it-all we all love.
I also found it sweet that the only person that Hermione can relate too is a Goddess! Despite having friends and people of her age, the only person that she can talk to on her level is a Roman Goddess - a Muse. Again, it just shows how intelligent Hermione is.
And then I love the thought process of Polyhymnia. I love the irony in their first meeting when Poly thought that Hermione wasn't smart at all since she didn't touch her picture. I found myself laughing that.
But overall, this story is nice and well written. It brings home the message of how powerful learning can be.
Author's Response: Yay! I love reviews! Thanks for the amazing review, and thanks for being the first review!