I'm an enneagram type 5.
"Little solace comes
to those who grieve
when thoughts keep drifting
as walls keep shifting
and this great blue world of ours
seems a house of leaves
moments before the wind."
From Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves
That was my favorite chapter yet! I love your Sirius ... it makes me miss him so much more, though. Keep writing and please update soon!
Ah! I loved that last chapter! It was my favorite of them all! That Sirius and Remus thing made me sad though. :'( I wish they would get Peter before Lily and James died. That would make me VERY happy. (Heehee)
Hi! Nice story! I like how it's developing. I just have some quick constructive critisms on chapter one before I continue. I don't think the Longbottoms would come out of Voldemort's wand, since they weren't tortured by him. Voldemort's transformation to Tom Riddle was VERY cool though! I enjoyed that a lot. Very nice. Harry seems a little bit evil, though. I think he would be a little more solemn once he gets Voldemort into a corner. Also, Wormtail seemed to change his mind very quickly. I can imagine how that would happen, since Voldemort isn't powerful anymore, but it's lacking a description like that. I also don't think that Wormtail is powerful enough do performe the Cruciatus Curse. Tom seems only a little out of character, and I think the death eaters would be more focused on him than on the battles. Besides that, I LOVED how Harry looked over to Ginny. It should be a really interesting story, and I look forward to finishing it!
Author's Response: I might correct that part about the Longbottoms.... I wasn't sure exactly how to have Harry fulfill the prophecy, but that is what I came up with. Since it is a dream, I didn't think all the details would be clear so some parts are not as clear or maybe even missing. Wormtail always seemed to follow along with those who were strong. Voldemort wasn't looking too strong at this point and remember he owes Harry his life. I may later write a chapter with the full story of what happened at the final battle. (no promises)
Ahhh! Bad Malfoy! ...or at least I think so. Mmm I don't like this Wesley kid, so far. Anywho, I loved how Cody loved History of Magic. Haha that's so cute. Just a few other comments, isn't the incantation for levitating feathers "Wingardium leviosa" not "Alohamora?" Sorry if I missunderstood. The students seemed rather advanced for their first day, also. In the first book, they didn't even start with levitation until Halloween... And on the first day of Transfiguration, they worked on changing matches into needles... Anyway, great chapter, look forward to the next!
Author's Response: Ouch...the wrong spell in the story was my bad. I corrected it. Thanks. As far as Flitwick's Charms class....since this is his Ravenclaw house, naturally they're on the fast track...hehe
Aww poor Wesley. I was wrong last chapter, now I feel bad for him. That was really clever about that 'practicing' thing! Ummmm I can't really think of anything else to say, but yay update soon please!
Author's Response: Yeah...sucks to be Wesley...but hey, those adult wizards and witches have to think about the effect of their involvement with Voldemort on their own family....
YAY! That was my favorite chapter so far. Ravenclaw was a bit of a surprise to me actually. I was thinking Gryffindor, but that's too cliche. I'm glad you went with Ravenclaw. ^^
That "showing the death thing" (I can't quite remember the incantation right now) was really awesome. I like how you fit it in, also. Keep up the great work! I look forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks much! Say, I wonder if you could tell me...you or whoever might read this...I have had my chapters validated, and even some things rejected, but I have never received an e-mail from Mugglenet, since the initial one with my account info...is that normal??
Sorry I haven't reviewed in a long time, been so busy. But now finals and plays are all over so I'll have time to read. This is a really excellent story you have, do you know that? I like the possible romance between Hermione and Cody! I look forward to reading the new chapters. Good work. =)
Author's Response: Thanks again for reading. Finishing the last 2 chapters now...
This is a really great story so far! It's really original, and I love how you set it during CoS instead of just having some random kid come in their sixth year. Hmm does Cody have a thing for Ginny? Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Cody is so overwhelmed by his new freedom that he a thing for nearly any girl he meets. This leads to much hormonal turmoil. Thanks for the nice words. The next chapter is submitted, but stuck in the queue.
Oh wow. This was a great chapter. I noticed there were a few typos, but nothing bad. Awesome twist at the end! Please update soon! I want to know what the "birthmark" is!
Hey. This is a review for both chapters, even though it's just registering for one. I really enjoyed the beginning of that story. I'm not a Harry/Ginny shipper, but so far you're tying it nicely into the war. I just have a few hopefully constructive critisisms. There are a few typos here and there. Nothing horrible or taking away from the plot, but enough for me to notice them. Also, "hun" and "honey" are more American than British. There's a lot of repetition of "said' and "asked" which I think could be replaced with just conversation without it, or more interesting words. The description of the Cruciatus curse is also a little blunt. You could add a lot of amazing description and details there. It's a great curse to describe so have fun with it! I'm also having trouble figuring out how old they are through the beginning. All I know is that 6th or 7th year took place eight years ago. I found out near the end of that chapter that it he was about twenty three, but I'm still not positive. I'm really not sure about the song through the thread, either; it makes it seem more like a oneshot. I also was having trouble to see how it related, maybe because I'm not familiar with the song at all though. I really enjoyed how the past plots and the current plots are running at the same time. Do they influence each other much? It would be really cool if they talked about something that happened right after a flashback of it, or something. But I'm not sure which one is going to end up being more important. I'm assuming it's the current one. I'm sorry if this is one huge paragraph, for some reason the breaks are mean to me and don't register. I hope that helped, and keep writing! It's a great story you've got here. ~Eponine
This was my first time ever reading a D/G fic, and I have to say that this prologue threw me off a little bit. I really liked the mystery of it all, but it got to a point half way through where I just couldn't figure it out. After thinking for a little bit, I finally understood, but for next time I suggest making it a little clearer. There were some puncuation erros, especially with puncuation in quoation marks. I suggest this thread in the beta forums http://www.fanfiction.mugglenet.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3684 written by Alexis Taylor. It's very helpful on that subject. You should also remember that only one person should speak in a paragraph; even when two do speak in one paragraph, it's extremely rare. I really liked the new idea of Platform 8 2/4, but I suggest changing it to Platform 8 1/2 because it's the same thing, except a little less confusing. I really enjoyed your writing style. It's complicated and simple at the same time. Great story! ~Eponine
I really like the writing of this story. It's a very interesting style. But it's extremely similar to Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" except with the Harry Potter twist on it. Are you familiar with it, or was it just a coincidence? I like the twist on the plot though. Good job!
Wow. This was a very excellent one shot. Being the big Neville fan I am, I really enjoyed seeing the perspective of other members of the Longbottom family. I really love how you wrote Gran. It is nothing how I have imagined her before, but it works perfectly once the fic is put together. Your writing style, also, makes it very believable; I can imagine Gran sitting in some would be elegant arm chair trying to tell this story to somebody. This was a very refreshing one shot after all of these angsty fics I've been reading lately. This fic has a perfect blend of light heartedness and seriousness. Great job! ~Eponine
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Eponine! I really enjoyed writing this. It was nice to have a different take on the HP world from someone we have only seen briefly.
I think Iíll just being this review by saying this story is incredible. I printed it out (which took quite a long time, I must tell you) for a plane trip, and devoured it. (I must thank you; this story made the trip so much easier for me to calm down, as Iím so afraid of flying).
Iíve read a lot of AU stories, but so far, this is my favorite. The basic idea, just to begin with is very creative. The idea of telling kids just how good they are compared to their peers is horribly intriguing.Dracoís characterization in this story is very interesting. A lot of him is the same from the books, but an element that I donít think anybody has thought of yet is shining through. I just canít put my finger on it. I wonder how his Veto is going to affect him in the future?
Hermione is also great in this story. I like her less tamed and controlled side a lot. She always sort of seemed like she had the possibility to just blow up in the books. I love how you made that tiny trait become a whole new spin for the character, while still keeping her Hermione-nessThere are really strong themes running through this story, which I also love. Iím not sure if it was intentional or not, but the theme of everything being (or not being) a game stands out most to me.
I must say, though that Dumbledore kind of confuses me in this story. He seems to have lost a lot of his Dumbledore-ness. A lot of the newer traits, I donít see much in the books. Of course, there could just be something important that happened that we just donít know. Hm?The flow of the chapters isnít choppy, either, like many fics that deal with several characters are. I like how each little bit just fits perfectly into its spot. Though I must say, the parts with Harry and co are my favorite. Is this story going to continue into the trioís adulthood?
Overall, this story is amazing. Definitely one of my favorites of all time. Itís a shame I canít give you higher than a ten. Please keep updating!
Ah! You are killing me with these cliffhangers!
I loved this chapter. Poor Isobel! I wish I could just smack Umbridge. Vociferor is such an amazing idea. Who would have thought that there could be a place worse than Azkaban?
WOW! That was amazing. It was a great look into the possibilities of Harry's life, and perhaps a budding issue for him. Wow... that was really amazing. I don't have any critisms at all! Amazing story! Keep up the good work! 10/10!
Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you very much!
I really enjoyed this story. I'm not a Ron/Hermione shipper at all (actually I'm quite against it), but you did a very good job at displaying the relationship, that I could enjoy it anyway. There were a few puncuation mistakes, and Hermione's thoughts at the beginning didn't sound very thought-like. It sounded more like something she could be exlaiming to herself. You did switch tenses once. ďShe was pretty sure that everyone in the school must know about her ďsecretĒ crush on Ron.Ē It should be "the school must have known" if the rest of it will be in past tense. In the entire story, Hermione was very in character, which I quite enjoyed. You portrayal of her emotions, especially near the end, is very well written. Ron is a little bit too blunt near the end, but I suppose he is like that a lot. It was a very satisfying ending. Good job!
Very good story! I really love the beginning; it drew me in right away. And I must say, I was laughing after probably three paragraphs. This is very well written. I really enjoyed how the connection that Harry and Sirius have in the books is being foreshadowed. However, I don't think it's necessary for him to be referred as "Baby Harry" instead of just "Harry" all the time. The telephone bit, also, could easily be replaced with speaking through the Floo Network, even though this way is more entertaining. I really enjoyed this story! ~Eponine
Author's Response: *crossed fingers and hopes this goes through* I thought about the Floo thing, but I just couldn't make it work in my mind. :-)Glad you liked it though. I can't wait to get the second chapter submitted. I gotta get ahold of my Beta and see what she's been up to lately. :-)
What a great story. I'm having trouble nit-picking anything. I don't think I even found anything. I love the way you characterized Susan, and how she looked up to her aunt, especially that part where you wrote about how she practiced her smile. You integrated the elements of SI into it very well, and it didn't sound awkward at all; it really flowed. Great story!
I just can't begin to tell you how much I adore this story! Usually, I try to include something besides just "OMGSQUEESOGOOD," but for this story I can't think of anything else but complements!
It is definitely one of the most original stories on all of MNFF. I was so curious when I first started reading and pretty much devoured the rest of the story in a matter of days.
Well, I just wanted to drop in and tell you how much I adore this story and I'll be reading obsessively! Update soon!