I know I'm just another of 80 something reviewers, but this is wonderful. It was so touching and...real. You write very well and that's a beautiful poem. I'd like to write that well someday.
I like it, but it did seem as if Remus didn't like Sirius all that much. But it was truly good, and well-written...
Lol, that was great! Ha, I loved it! You write pretty well and it was so funny!
Chapter 6 is 40% complete
When will you update? Have you abondoned this story...*does puppy dog face*...? Please dont.
Just want you to know, I love this story! it's wonderfully written and so full of action. It was one of the first stories I read on here and I'm glad I did!
I really like this. I can see why it is on the favorites. It is too sweet. I love Jinx, I love the founders portraits, I love the way they are slightly in denial of their feelings. I hope., really hope you won't take long to update, I can't wait to read more.
Just want you to know, this is so great and original. I personally don't like the pairing but this is great. It's well written and so so so funny.
It is absolutely postitively hysterical. Michael walking in on them, the portraits comments the new Lucius...everything!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! Just the thought of Malfoy standing in a doorway with his hands on his hips made me laugh uncontrollably! I am sure you've been told this thousands of times, but this is such a creative idea, and you write well. This was very funny. I love their arguments!!
LOL LOL LOL!
This story never fails to make me laugh....I love the originality...alhtough I have to admit that the whole double common room and adverse freinds and all isn't original, but the love-knot idea is great...
I love the portraits they are always very funny. Annnnd, now on to some nit-picking...
Some of your sentences are structured awkwardly.
So that you will focus your full concentration on studying.
That one just sounds awkward, althouth there isn't anything technically wrong with it....'focus your full concentration' sounds redundant....you oculd use 'focus fully', 'make use of your full concentrations'...but those are just suggestions.
There were other sentences that I found but can't find again, sorry, that were incoherent as to the time. They switched to the present half way through....
Well, I certainly suck at leaving helpful reviews, but at least I tried...:)
Hello again! This time I remembered all the sentences I mentioned before. :)
First, I want to say, that I loved their argument. Hermione's anger after Draco said 'pity' was perfectly written, great job! I can't wait to see what happens next. I hope you update soon! Does the love-knot break, or something?
Here are some sentences I think should be looked over. Please remember that I really like this!
He, Harry, was feeling angry too, but he definitely had more control over his emotions than Ron did at the moment.
From the rest of their conversation it is already noticed that Ron has less control, so there really isn't much need to explain that. It sort of weighs the writing down and makes it seem forced. Let the writing show the reader!
But, of course, that's just a suggestion...:)
“DO YOU LIKE HIM DAMMIT?!”
There should be a comma after 'him'.
He’s our worse enemy
Put a 't' instead of 'e'.
Draco has always, and probably will always, care about what his friends thought of him.
If you are talking about what he cares about, he cares about what his friends think instead of thought. If it's that he cared, then thought is okay. You've mixed up the times here.
Pathetic? Soft? Muggle-loving??
Since you've already used italics to stress the last question, you shouldn't use the two question marks. Of course, this isn't a rule or anything, it's a suggestion.
“Do you not see the state to which Granger has reduced you to?”
The 'to' at the end is unnecessary, since you've already said, 'the state to which'.
I’m surprised you haven’t been your usual busybody self and ask me what I was doing in that room with Harry and Ron,”
The times are mixed in this sentence too. If he hasn't been, then it should be, 'and asked me...'
“What in Merlin’s name are you talking about woman?”
There should be a comma after 'about'.
“Oh come on Granger, I thought I was dying. Do you honestly think I was keep track of all my movements at that point in time?
There should be a comma after 'Oh', a comma after 'come on' and you seem to have forgotten the 'going' after 'was'.
Those honey-colored frantically searched for something in his silver ones,
I think you've forgotten to add 'eyes' after honey-colored. :)
The brown-haired Gryffindor tried to ignore the slight stab of sadness she felt at Draco’s words.
If Hermione really likes Draco, then I doubt what he said would have caused only a slight stab of sadness. Again, this is just another suggestion.
Please don't take any of this badly. Some writers are offended by constructive criticism. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or think that your story's bad in any way (by the contrary, I love it, and it's the favorite of all MNFF, after all ;) ), I'm just trying to help!
P.S: Update soon!
Ohhhh...I'm curious! What happens, I'll find out soon.
I love that last line. "I wish", lol.
Aww that ending was really sweet! I'm glad you liked my story because then I could read this one.
Laura has been a good friend to Percy for seven years. She took his side during a fight between Percy and Oliver their second year. She accepted Percy the way he was, something most of his brothers couldn't even do. And when the one brother who did understand Percy died, Laura was there to help Percy through it, even though the death hurt her greatly as well.
Yes, Laura has been a good friend to Percy. So why, during their seventh year, is Percy allowing his friend to be lonely and miserable?
A fellow Gryffindor decides to try to ease Laura's loneliness by interfering in her life. The result is that Laura must suddenly deal with new relationships, including an unlikely reconciliation with Oliver.
Laura succeeded in being a good friend when she only had one friend. Now she must learn how to be a good friend to several people... including herself. Oliver/OCComplete!
"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy - for friendship's sake." -William Blake
Ohh...I like this...another Weasley, that's interesting...I'm off to read more...
Author's Response: Yep. Another Weasley. Glad you\'re not put off by the [admittedly not canon] idea. Thanks for reviewing.
yeah, that was stupid...but realistic. God, my friends have done worse...but not for five years, and no one ever dies...lol, great story!
Author's Response: Haha. I read this review the wrong way the first time. You\'re right. The fight was stupid (if it hadn\'t been, it would have been even more difficult for the characters to try to move past it). Hope you decide to keep reading. EIther way, thanks very much for the reviews!
Oh I love it. Especially the little bit about an engagement ring! And having the Dursley's see all that...just what they deserve, being humiliated by Harry. Ha!!
I hope the ending isn't incredibly tragic like in SS...I feel sorry for Ron, bu in this story he really is a selfish fool...great job
Well, that was so horrible. I mean what happened, hehe. Draco always has to push himself into pain. I really thought he had changed. Guess I was wrong. Anyway, I am really not one of those girls who refuse to believe in anything but a happy ending, and I do realize that Draco and Hermione have too many differences to have an even half-way good relationship, but this was a bit much. Although obviously very nicely written.
Well, why does this always happen. Hope it gets validated soon. I'm not really much of a Draco/Hermione person, but this story is really good it makes up for it. ;-)