I am no longer an author on Mugglenet Fan Fiction. But please enjoy the stories I wrote a year or so ago anyhow! Thank you to everyone who wrote meaningful, wonderful reviews and supported my writing. If you wish to contact me, please do so by email, at email@example.com. Thank you.
My name is Lindsey, with the penname of Ron x Hermione on both here and the forums. I am a member of the Hufflepuff house and support my house with the utmost respect and endeavour, always going out of my way when possible to receive extra points. This would be one of the reason I have such an extensive library of stories, because most of them are challenge fictions. Some have even won a few awards. For example, Pain Doesn't Cost a Thing won first place in the Summer Challenge in 2007, Unexpected Gifts won second place in a challenge near Christmas 2006, Sacking that Silvery Man . . . won third place in the 'Dolores Umbridge Challenge' in the Spring-Summer of 2007, The Depths of a Darkened Mind won third place in the Gauntlet of Summer 2007, and I'm thinking that that is it. I had taken leave from about August 2007 to October-ish, but I found that I couldn't stay away from here for that long. I hope that my writing has improved at least a bit since last writing a story, and I hope that you, the possible reader, enjoys what you read.
Drop-dead-gorgeous banner by KC/sayiansirius! Go Hufflepuffs!
I am officially in SPEW! (The Society for the Proper Evaluation of Writers.) *coughs or Society for the Protection and Expansion of Weirdness coughs* But I now have a straitjacket! *tries to wave but can't due to restraint*
I now am even in the Susan Bones Book Club, where we analyse different brilliant stories on the forums. It's amazing there. Cute Banner by Noldo.
And though I have blatantly yet to go on a poetry spree of writing, I am in Poetry Anyone, a great little club where poets come together to share their views and thoughts on the metre of a poem. :) Amazing banner by the lovely suzie/crazy_purple_hp_freak!
January 30th, 2008:
The last update I kind of lied a bit. I'm sorry about that. It turned out that while soccer winded down, drama and schoolwork didn't, keeping me away for longer. Now I have a few hours on the computer every once in a while and found that I couldn't stay away from some of the challenges. I just had a new story published Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap if it is of any interest to you, dear reader. -grins- I do hope that I continue to write stories and someone continues to read them. Thanks very much for all of the continuous support through reviews and emails. I love you all.
Books: Harry Potter 1-SEVEN, Where Willows Grow, Rose for Melinda, The Giver, Gathering Blue, The Messenger, Prayer for Owen Meany, Charlotte’s Web, Bridge to Terabithia, Shiloh, Where the Red Fern Grows, Summer of the Monkeys, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Man on Fire, Anthem, A Rip in Heaven, The Stand, Crank, and Night.
Movies: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Saw 1 and 2 and 3, Domestic Disturbance, Armageddon, Tristan and Isolde, Simon Birch, The Sixth Sense, My Girl, Where the Red Fern Grows, Day After Tomorrow, Holes, Red Eye, Moulin Rouge, The Outsiders, Flight of the Phoenix, High School Musical 2, Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Ladder 49, National Treasure, For the Love of a Child, Click, House of D, Mean Creek, Wild Hogs, Blades of Glory, Disturbia, Spiderman 3, Hairpsray! (the newer version), The Stand (mini series) and Across the Universe (though I was utterly disappointed), but the music was amazing.
TV: My stimulus for Mondays is 'Heroes', where the weekly glimpse of Milo Ventimiglia keeps me going; on Tuesdays I watch 'The Biggest Loser' if I don't have a soccer game; I watch 'Kid Nation, 'Private Practice, and 'CSI: New York'; and on Thursdays I watch 'Grey's Anatomy'. Yes, I have a nice schedule going on.
Music: I have recently become a raging addict for Cartel. Will Pugh is just . . . So amazing. I also really like Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson, and Evan Rachel Wood off the Across the Universe movie and soundtrack, I found an old Backstreet Boys CD and have found a newfound love again for them, Family Force 5, John Mayer, Josh Groban, Kelly Clarkson, and all of the cast of High School Musical 2 with the exception of Vanessa Hudgens.
Favorite Actors and Actresses: Rupert Grint, Jake Gylenhaal, William Moseley, Nicolas Cage, Ewan McGregor, Joseph Mazzello, Leonardo DiCaprio, David Duchovny, Jim Sturgess, Dakota Fanning, Dennis Quaid, Hayden Panettierre, Milo Ventimiglia, Gary Sinise, and Shia Labeouf.
Pretty much amazing banner by KC/sayiansirius for His Poison!
Summary: As the kiss grew deeper she didn’t analyze what was happening to her, why she was kissing him back, and why he was kissing her. For once she didn’t think at all. And she was okay with not knowing all the answers.
This piece is a seventh year, One-shot concerning Hermione and Draco that will either puzzle you, or intrigue you. I might warn you of slight AU, it depends on your take on this piece. We already know that this couple wouldn't exist in canon anyway, so please bare with. This was my very first HG/DM pairing and I did my best to avoid any...cliche's with this complex couple. And really, let my know your opinions. Criticism, flames, well hopefully not, or kind words are deeply appreciated.
Oh, that was cute. Lots of good adjectives, you used. I really liked the way you did this story.
I usually don't read Draco/Hermione stories, but I recently have gotten into them. I really liked yours however, and how you paired the two up. It was very mysterious how you left the readers guessing, kind of, what happens next.
I really like the Head Girl and Boy idea of Hermione and Draco, and the way that McGonagall's project brought them together. I guess, i could say, I really liked the whole thing. It'd be cool if this was a chaptered fic, I'd totally read it, to see what happens.
I really like your writing style, it's very detailed and descriptive, and me, the reader, knows what you're talking about. I only saw like two mistakes, like where a word should have been present tense, and it was past, but it was no biggie.
As the kiss grew deeper she didn’t analyzed what was happening to her,
It should be hadn't analyzed, or didn't analyze. Sorry, for my beta-ing thing, it happens.
Overall, this was a lovely story. It's going on my favorites list, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next. Thanks for the great read! And thanks for the Gorgeous banner!! ~Lindsey :)
Summary: Just before the final battle with Voldemort, Harry takes Ron aside and makes a request.
Oh. My. Goodness. That was so good. This fan fic was marvelous! So original! I love the last line, your ideas, the plot. You, my friend, are talented, i will say that.
I love the way that you decribed the last battle between Voldemort and Harry. This whole fic was full of emotion, and I'm very glad that you decided not to "kill off" Harry. That would have been SO sad. I love the ending sentence; it's like a cliffie, yet it's not, because you know it's the end. I love the title, because it ties right along with the happenings in your story, and the ending.
Very Wonderful work, and this is SO going on my favorites list. Thanks for the great read!
Summary: It's nearly six months after the war, and when Molly Weasley reads the days' newspaper, in it is an article that forces her to reminisce over the events of the war, the effects of it on her life and the lives of those close to her. Meanwhile, Ron has news of his own…
OH NO!! That gave me chills, really. THat was SO sad.
I love your plot, and your description of characters.
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m really pleased that you liked the description of characters, as description\'s rather a weak point of mine - I always tend to focus more on the plot and dialogue, so it means a lot that you liked the description here. Thanks for reviewing!
Summary: One-shot. What happened when Ginny and Hermione shared a tent at the Quidditch World Cup? And what subject comes up that frustrates Ginny and makes Hermione realize... What is the matter with you, Hermione? I scolded myself. Harry is, as you said, just your friend. Why did that thought bother me? It was as if something was tugging at the back of my brain, telling me I was wrong… but I couldn’t be…
This was a cute third/fourth year one-shot. It's nice how you've incorporated in this missing moment into a fan fiction.
I feel that you could have had quite a bit more description, though. Even if you had described the campsite, and Ginny and Hermione's surroundings a bit more, it would have made the reader much more aware of what time period this was, where they were exactly, and quite a few other things. In this sentence:
A blurry green firework streaked across the canvas surface.
-you've really incorporated description here, and I really loved this sentence because I could actually see Ginny and Hermione looking up at their tent and seeing a green firework shadowing across their tent. Great work on that!
The word no flashed through my subconscious before the rest of me could catch up.
I think that you need to have quotations around the "no" in this sentence. Or, you could have meant "word now". Either way, it would have fit.
I feel that the way you've portrayed Hermione's emotions in the last part was quite childish, just as you had described earlier. I was a bit confused as to if she were fighting with Ginny in her mind, or just fighting with an odd voice in the back of her head, telling her that Harry was better for her rather than Ginny. It was kind of *thinks up word* different seeing as how you've portrayed Hermione as someone who is "fighting" with Ginny in her mind over a boy. I sure hope that that doesn't destroy their friendship in later chapters.
So back off, Gin, he’s mine.
Ha ha, I thought that this was a great sentence. It shows the conflict between the two over Harry, though, Ginny doesn’t really know if Hermione likes him or not. It’s quite comical how you’ve written that last part. Even though you used “Gin” (I feel that this is an awkward nickname), it still was a wonderful addition to your story.
I do really like how they are conflicting over Harry. You’ve got a great plot here! Great work, and I do hope to see more from you.
Summary: As Harry begins his quest for the remaining horcruxes, his world is turned completely upsidedown by the return of Severus Snape, and Harry learns more than he ever thought possible about Snape, his parents, and the burning question of Dumbledore's death.
WHOA! What a great first chapter!
Your detail was amazing... the way that you desribed every aspect of their surroundings and the characters was great. I love the plot; the summary is what drew me in.
The last sentence is so great... I don't know why, but it is. It's like a cliffie, but it's not. You want to know who the boy is, and you want to know what the morunful tune is. But, really, you already know...
This is a great story; awesome ideas and great job!
Author's Response: Thankies! Go read the rest... loads of cliff hangers, I promise ;)
Summary: This is a recount of Hermione's last hours of life, as she says goodbye to those that she leaves behind: family and friends, and the love of her life.
That was one of the saddest fics i have ever read. I would have to say that Hermione is my favorite female character, so to see her die like that was soooo sad!
I love the way that you captured the emotion from everyone. I actually had tears in my eyes towards the middle. I admire that very much in a fic when the author draws you in, and that is exactly what you did.
It was overall an absolutely wonderful fic, and i am going to your author's page right now! VERY GOOD WORK.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Lindsay. I\'m proud to know that what I have written has reached your heart. I honestly loved your review (I even blushed, lol.)
Summary: After a year in Azkaban, the day of Draco Malfoy's execution has finally arrived. As he makes the long journey from his prison cell to the execution room, he reflects upon what was and what could have been.
First off, I want to say how absolutely marvellous this fiction was. From setting to characterisation, it was simply a wonderful one shot. You did a great job in the writing. I adored the sparks of illusion you had kept throughout.
As the dark, ominous prison of Azkaban was situated at the very centre of the most turbulent waters in the world, it normally wasn't quite so unusual to note the fact that water was pelting the cramped windows of the cells and corridors. However, the weather had been acting rather odd that particular day: as dawn broke, a thick, impenetrable layer of fog had settled around the building, making it nearly invisible to anyone observing it from outside --
Another thing I want to comment on--- the setting. The way you've written the setting to the mood of this story and plot fits perfectly together like a piece of a puzzle. The rain and then the death of Malfoy are perfectly in place, and they are both loaded with description and definition.
Aw, this is just so terribly sad. I never have really thought about the various features of Azkaban, but from your setting I can now see it in my mind’s eye perfectly while reading this. I could see the rain-streaked windowpane Malfoy stared blankly outside of to pass the slow, ticking time of the day; I can see poor Draco wrapping his thin, ghostly-white arms around his even thinner body and cold, protruding grey eyes that are just there, cold and lifeless, just daring a passing Dementor to try and take away his memories. Absolutely amazing description, if I can see that.
Also, the song! Nick Lachey’s, What’s Left of Me is a spectacular song, and one of my favourites; to see it used in this fiction was utterly priceless to see, because the entire story was SO well written. I really enjoyed seeing it here; perfect song choice.
I am just starting to dive into the realm of Hermione/Draco stories, but yours, I will have to admit, are just so realistic. If I hadn’t read the books and known this pairing was anti-canon, I would have believed that these two had been meant for each other since birth. The way the relationship unfolds and is told through Malfoy’s memories is so genuine and precious--- another amazing job.
He was reliving old memories. Unearthing them from the depths of his past, laying them out on the surface of his mind, examining them, turning them over, searching for scratches, dents, and grooves along their edges.
. . . he had nothing else to do but to thumb through the scrapbook stored in his head, the only part of him the Dementors hadn't managed to steal.
It’s very sweet to see such a diverse mind as Malfoy leafing through an old scrapbook of memories in his head; it shows his sensitive side, and it shows that he still has a small chance of sanity left in him after so many years in Azkaban. I know that Dementors steal all happiness left inside of a person, but since they retreated to the very darkest corners of the prison since it was sunny out, is that why he could still have that small ray of happiness left with this particular scrapbook? Or is it just because Dementors can’t necessarily see inside one’s mind?
A tall, hooded figure hovered just outside the bars locking him in his cell. A rush of iciness flooded Draco's veins, numbed only by his body's adaptation to the sensation over time. Following immediately after the chill was a heavy sense of dread, one that had been growing for the past few days.
Oh, my goodness! Your description! It’s just absolutely amazing, dear, and I can’t even fathom how long it took you to write this. Or are you just that good? This is just positively grand writing. You’ve used so many adjectives and loaded words, and it’s just the right amount of balancing out. And it’s not just these sentences; it is in nearly the entire story. You’re a great writer.
There's a little circle cleared in the centre of it with a chair -- just one chair -- and enough space for me to extend my hands out on either side of me without hitting anything. However, the rest of the room is filled with people. Old men, young Aurors, other Ministry workers, prisoners granted permission to come here -- they're all here to watch me die.
This is so sad. I know that people really used to do this in real life; like on the Green Mile and the electric chair; but to see it done to one of my favourite characters is awful. I know that some people are cruel, and they’d love to see the man responsible for one of their loved one’s deaths die, but really, truly watch it? *shudders* I had no idea that there even was an execution room in Azkaban; no less one where there is a space for loads of people to stare at the condemned. Is this room of your own making, or is it stated somewhere in the books that this happens when prisoners receive the Kiss?
Anger wells up inside of me. I almost want to run over to them and curse them, kill them all, for just standing there silently. I want to shatter their calm exteriors and reveal the anxiety and fear hiding in all of them, because I know it's there.
I have a quick question, though, and possibly a bit of a suggestion. Did you mean to change from third to first person? I don’t know if it’s a mistake, but went you from portraying above Draco to through Draco. Just thought you should know.
She should want nothing to do with me anymore after receiving the satisfaction of watching Ron Weasley's murderer dragged off to Azkaban.
Oh, no! He killed Ron! How very sad. I know that the canon ship is Ron/Hermione, but I do like how you’ve created the illusion of Hermione/Draco up to this point. But hopefully, as the story goes on, we will see Draco delve deeper and deeper into his scrapbook, and he will reveal that he and Hermione had a relationship. Before or after the death of Ron, I don’t know, but hopefully we’ll find out.
Years after the Kiss was performed on Draco Malfoy, another prisoner was transferred to his vacated cell. However, he was soon moved out after complaining about his sleep being penetrated by the sound of sobbing and the walls being so covered with proclamations of love that he could not glance at them without getting a headache.
This is extremely interesting! Never have I seen a story turn out and end with something like this. I really am quite interested in ghosts, and to see a fan fiction with Harry Potter end like this was touching. I can just see the walls of this prison being sworn up and down by Draco that he loves Hermione; it’s really sad to see that, his last words being: ‘Goddamnit, Hermione, I love you.’ It’s a very sad ending, a very sad one.
According to the apparel store owner, the victim murmured, 'Goddamnit, Hermione, I love you' right before the Kiss was performed.
No one in the crowd claimed to be the 'Hermione' the victim referred to, and, to Ministry knowledge, he had no lover, friends, family, or wife, so it is doubtful that such a woman ever existed.
I absolutely adore this! You’ve created that illusion again with Hermione, and you comment on and make the readers wonder if it even was Hermione that ever existed! I loved this plot twist!
You also never mention (that illusionment again) why Hermione had to be taken outside after Draco’s death. You state that her friend, whom we know is Harry, had to take her outside to calm down. Is this because she shared the love Draco had for her? Then why was she with Ron? Or is it just because she was so happy/upset to see that the killer of her husband, one she loved, was murdered right before her eyes and she had gotten to see it?
Now that I’ve read through the entire story, I faintly wonder why this was in the Hermione/Draco category. I liked how you’d created an illusion with their whole relationship; their entire connection was just a bit of something Draco had wished he had had with the girl, but did the point of why he loved her had anything to do with killing her husband? Why did Draco kill her husband? Was it an order by Voldemort himself, or did he do it for his own lust and wanting?
This is going on my favourites, as are you as an author, and I'm going to recommend it on the forums. Great work, and I hope to see a lot more from you.
Hermione sighed in relaxation. She was sitting in her favourite café, the cafe latte steaming cheerily on the small, round table as she immersed herself in the news of The Times. As she flipped a page, the newspaper folded annoyingly backwards and revealed the scenery beyond.
Hermione let out a piercing scream.
4th story in a series of Hermione/Draco one-shot (Check out my author page for more information)
Important announcement in my profile
The smooth, delightful liquid warmed her as she swallowed. Hermione sighed in relaxation. Soon she was going to have to leave for work, so she was going to enjoy these moments of peace before her bustling day began.
What a great start to a great fic. You've got the description down to a T, and I'm glad that you chose this story as a Draco/Hermione story. it fit perfectly well among this plot, and I must say, you did a great job in writing it.
“What every man wants,” he replied, shrugging.
Alarmed, Hermione scooted her chair further away from him.
“Not sex, Granger.” The imp sighed, rolling his eyes. “Well, that too, but… No, I want forgiveness.”
I started busting out laughing at this; you know your comedy. I can totally see Ron saying this in a Ron and Hermione romance, but seeing Draco saying to her was priceless.
“And yet I am unmoved,” Hermione replied haughtily, grabbing her purse and heading for the door.
I think that you have Draco and Hermione characterised perfectly in this entire story. Not many can write a Dramione relationship well, but you can perfectly. I can see that you like ship from how many stories you've written about them, but practice definitely makes perfect.
Even though we don't know what Draco actually did to Hermione to make her angry, I like how you've written this story. It's very conspicuous, and you know how to write.
“Two lattes, please,” Satan ordered, an impervious finger in the air. “You like lattes, don’t you? That’s what you were drinking yesterday.”
I like how you refer to Malfoy as Satan. It fits his character here, and although he keeps on annoying Hermione, you keep on wanting to read the story. You have him characterised perfectly here, too. Draco is so annoying! *giggles*
He slowly put his arms around her, hugging her close to his body. Her arms hung limp against her body, but her cheek rested comfortably on his chest.
Aww... this is just so sweet. I cannot say this enough: I absolutely love how you've characterised these two. I can totally see these two doing this and being involved romantically after reading this.
Draco flashed a genuine smile and inclined his head. He then protruded a single, immaculate finger in the air and said firmly, “Two cappuccinos, please.”
What an awesome ending! I love how you've changed the 'cappunccinos' from 'lattees'. That's great, and I like how you've allowed Hermione to forgive Draco. Great ending, and I loved it!
I do hope that you've written a sequel to this. Even though this is a one-shot, I want to know what happens to these two, and how their relationship flourishes after this. You deserved the win for the best Hermione POV of the Dramione awards. Great work.
Author's Response: I\'m pleased to hear you liked the beginning of the story. Not that this story had a particularly eventful or captivating start, but I\'ve always thought a story\'s very first sentence should have something in it. I\'m glad you liked the What Men Want comment :) Ron could definitely have said this as well, but whereas Ron would have felt awkward for saying something that Hermione could mistake for sex, Draco\'s much more nonchalant (well, my version is, and I like that). I\'m very flattered you think I actually can write this ship because Lord knows it\'s difficult. So thank you. Ah, yes, the Satan reference (and all the other lovely nicknames I gave Draco throughout the story) is something many reviewers have liked and commented on :) I\'m happy to hear you liked the ending. Everything about it is innovative, really - as you say with the change from lattes to cappuccinos. It is also the first time I write ‘Draco’ instead of ‘Malfoy’ (or, as we\'ve already established, Satan, Imp, Grim Reaper etc.), and whereas the last time he ordered a latte for both of them (“Two lattes, please,” Satan ordered, an impervious finger in the air.), this time his finger – or, more profoundly interpreted, his demeanour from Hermione’s now changed point of view – is ‘immaculate’ not ‘impervious’. I have not, I\'m afraid, written a sequel and I don\'t plan to. Thank you very much, Lindsey, for the wonderful review!
Summary: Just a little thing I started in my spare time, but it turned out pretty good. A poem/rap about the history of the Marauders, their legacy, and the answers all us Potterheads are waiting for! Hope you like it!
That was great! I love the rhyming scheme that you had going on, and then how you ended it with 'book 7 is coming' was just great! You have a great poetic technique!
Author's Response: Thanks, Lindsey! I like this poem too, I think it\'s the best piece I have on this site. But anyway, I\'m really glad you liked it! (and from your beta, Chapter Four is coming! ;) ) Thanks for the review!!
Summary: One never recovers completley from a loss of a loved one. Especially one that you never knew you loved.
Hi Hanni! *waves*
Well, here goes:
I absolutely love this story. I have yet to read any Draco/Ginny stories, but I must say that I will now that I have read yours.
You must come up with some more of these stories, it was written beautifully.
It was very mysterious, and at first I didn't know who it was that Ginny was talking about! *bangs head on table for stupidity* I thought it was Harry, as that's usually the main ship, Harry/Ginny, but I found that it was Draco after the blonde hair part.
I get off of my soot-covered knees and also turn to leave, still sobbing. And for a brief moment, I feel as though I am being kissed by an unknown spirit, who heard my call. I hear a whisper, so quiet that it was almost silent, saying, “I love you.”
That is so BEAUTIFULLY written! Yes, I know that I've said that already, but I think so! That's my favorite paragraph. It's kind fo like a definitive ending, yet it's like, Ginny has hope to go on.
And I’m sure that he heard me.
OOh! That gave me chills, that's so sweet! You like, are going to have to write another Draco/Ginny fic... except, you know, when Draco is alive, so they can be together! :)
The beta did a very good job on this (not that you hadn't already), because I didn't see any errors!
The plot is what got me. It's most likely set after the final battle.. ('scuse me for being stupid at the moment if I'm wrong..) and Draco is dead *sniff* and Ginny is telling their story. It's a very creative plot, and since I have yet to see many Draco/Ginny fics anyway, this one rocks! In a good/sad way of course.
I loved it Hanni! I am actually going to read (and review!!!) some more of your stories because I like this one so much!
Very good work, and this is going on my favorites list! Thanks for the great read my lovely Insomniac! ~Lindsey :)
Author's Response: This review just made my day. I was having a cruddy day until I read this, and now I am chipper. I\'m glad you like it so much! --Hanni
Rated: [Reviews - ]
Aw, this was a really cute Luna Lovegood one shot. I really admire your characterisation; it's spot on in a lot of places, and that's really difficult to do with a first person point of view. It's good that you got a really, really deep analytical view of the character enough to write it through her eyes. Good work.
I decide she must be laughing at something else, and it must be a very good joke. I find it quite nice to enjoy a good joke in the morning, and I’m glad that she is starting off her day so well.
Aw, it's kind of sad the way you've written this here--- Luna is so oblivious to the fact that they are making fun of her that she just dismisses it as a little joke.
Farther down the Gryffindor table I see Ronald Weasley entwined with a 6th year girl whose name I do not know. Whatever they are doing, it doesn’t look particularly enjoyable, and I see Hermione Granger looking at them reproachfully.
Ha, this is great! I really like this! The way you've portrayed this not only through brilliant characterisation, but through her eyes is great. I love fics not centered around the Trio--- not just because it's the Trio and I don't like them, but because it's nice to see a variety of people that have a different lifestyle (especially Luna) and a different perception on it. I love how you've kind of intertwined the Lavender/Ron-'Hermione hates them both' thing in here, even from a different person's PoV. Nice.
After all, anger is such a fleeting emotion; it never lasts long, so why dwell on it?
I adore Luna here. Characterisation, again, is perfect, and that's really sweet how she should think of it this way. Luna, I now remember, has never held grudges in the books, and I like how you've still kept that here.
After the French joined the Confederation, the wizards of Lichtenstein- Oh yes! Her name was Skeeter! - had… after…
Professor Binns is still talking, but I find my attention drifting.
This is quite funny as well. Luna's attention drifting seems like something that would actually happen in a situation like this.
I do really like how you've incorporated the Thestrals and her wonder if it's the one she rode to the Ministry in her fifth year with Harry. This is something that she'd definitely remember, seeing as she really doesn't have many friends since she is portrayed as 'odd' and 'bizarre'.
I would really have liked to have seen more length and substance to this story, though--- it was very cute and witty in some instances, but you've really only got two situations going on here, and there could have been lots more. I'd really like to see this a few thousand words longer, not only for me as a fan, but for you as a writer. I think that it would be a challenge to try and make a different situation for this character. Well, I like challenges, so I guess that's why I'm suggesting it. :) Oh, and your formatting is off on the last paragraph.
Anyhow, I think that you have a very promising story here. I like your cute instances of comedy in places and I really liked the plot. I think that your characterisation was great, but I thought there could have been more, to sum it up, really. I also found that you tended to overuse commas in some places, especially in the first part of the fiction, but it doesn’t change the tone of the story. I'd like to see some more of your stories where it centres on a certain character. I think you'd do well. Good work and keep it up.
Summary: The Third Place Winner in the One-Shot Molly Weasley Challenge for Hufflepuff House: Healer Strout has seen many horrible things in war, but none come close to this. A patient driven mad by grieve is brought to her, but the cure comes at a high price. The patient’s son, trying to find meaning in his shattered life, desperately longs for his family. Can these two broken souls find hope from each other?
That was a very good read, Gonz!
I really liked the plot. Molly Weasley among Muggles? *shakes head* That was a very good idea you had with Percy, and tying it all together.
The minister killed Harry? *gasps!* He's terrible! That's also a very good aspect of this story, the creativity.
I love the way that you tied all of it together.. Percy coming back, The Minister's Betrayal, The Healer... everything.
And when Percy and Mrs. Weasley get back together as a family again (and they're the only ones left! What happened?) it was just priceless. And the way that you did it, through the sending back the sweaters!
I really like the emotions, and the portrayal of the characters that you dealt with while writing it. That must have been some plot bunny, I never could have pulled off a Percy fic.
Miriam turned and looked at the man standing behind her, “Are you sure there are no other options, Minister?”
"She watched her family die, she is clearly insane. You saw her.”
That's beautiful writing. And SAD. I would have hated to be in that position...
Your summary is what drew the story to me. No one wants to read a bad summary, and you wrote one for this story wonderfully. Great!
This was a very great read. Te he, and guess what? *whispers* I'm your Secret Santa...LOL! If this wasn't a good enough review for you, I would be glad to do another for you!
I just would like to say, again, that I loved it. Very creative, well-written... I'm just might check out some more of your stories! (And Review! Te he!)
I hope that you had a great and Merry Christmas, and have a nice rest of the day!
Author's Response: *Gives big Badger hug to Secret Santa* Thank you for a wonderful present! As for the rest of the Weasley family they died in the Final Battle. I needed them dead for the plot to work and that was the simpliest solution. I glad you liked the Minister killing Harry because that was a aspect I thought of after the fic was almost completely finished. Now I\'m glad I did because I can\'t picture this fic without it. Thanks again for a wonderful present and I hope you have a great new year!
Summary: I can’t wait any longer. If I wait, I won’t go. I have to go.
That was so sad!!! Oh my, but I LOVE the ending. I am a die-hard Hermione/Ron shipper, and to see the emotions played out in this fic were amazing!!
I love the plot in this fic, it was so carefully organized, and I love how you wrote it from both POVs..
The day we found out we couldn’t have children.
OMG, I seriously gasped out loud. THat was SO sad.
I loved this fic, it is so going on my favorites list. Great work! ~Lindsey :)
Summary: There were twelve years in which Remus Lupin lived alone, after he lost everything. How does one survive that?
That was a very good one-shot!
I loved that you got the idea from right after James and Lily died. We don't really know what happened to Remus after all of his best friends disappeared, and you basically just told us, even if it is fiction. I actually got so immersed in it, like i always do when i get into a good fic, i thought that it was JK herself writing there for a moment. I love the way that you captured Remus's emotions. I also loved the way that you ended it. Remus lost his job, then Dumbeldore, in Harry's third year, sends him a job request, and obviously, from the books we know he accepted.
And Sirius escapes that year too! Genius. I loved it! Very good work!
`Thanks again for making my banners, i loved them and i can't quit looking at them!!! *squees*! (Even though i've said that... how many times now? *shakes head*)
Overall, a wonderful fic. I loved the ending, and it's going on my favorites.
Summary: Have you ever wondered what Voldemort does when he isn't planning a new way to kill Harry?
Aw, that was so cute! I really like your take on poetry--- it's good and your rhyming scheme is brilliant. I like how you used Voldemort as your character to write about instead of Harry, it's nice t see some variety. This is my favourite line:
Relax by a lake?
Talk to your snake?
It's funny and it rhymes. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I do have one about Voldemort and one about Harry, don\'t I? I actually never thought about that. Thanks for pointing it out, Lindsey! I\'ll see you around the Common Room! ~Catherine
Summary: It's Voldemort's birthday and Harry and Hermione have been invited to his birthday party. As the festivities commence, Voldemort makes a new friend. But things aren't always as they seem, for someone else has a plan that could make this Voldemort's worst birthday ever.
Oh, wow, this was bloody brilliant! Oh, it was SO funny! Good work!
Summary: Dean can't repair Ginny.
Awww!! That was so sad! I love how you captured Ginny's emotions. It was a very good story, well-written.
Summary: Hermione went to the Yule Ball with Krum. But somebody else comforted her that night, when she needed it the most. A short, fluffy 1-shot. Enjoy!
Aw! What a cute one-shot!
Author's Response: thanks! :)
Summary: "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches..."
The war is over, and families are still torn apart, still mourning, still grieving. But what if the prophecy hadn't applied to Harry Potter or Neville Longbottom? What if the future of the wizarding world rests in the hands of a small boy with flaming red hair and green eyes like his daddy? Does he hold the key to a bright future? This boy is all Ginny Weasley has left to remind her of his father...her husband.
First of all, I love the beginning of your fic. It's very detailed and informative about the setting, and you did very well in drawing the readers in with those first sentences.
“Avada Kedavra” Voldemort began in a snakelike voice, his wand pointed straight at Harry’s head.
I think that you meant to put a comma after "Kedavra".
Oh my goodness... a wonderful fic, I am truly speechless.
This fic was so sad! Ron and Hermione not together... Harry, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley dead... so depressing!
Ginny let her son be and walked up the hill a bit, keeping a close eye on Jacob. She found the one grave she was looking for: Harry’s.
I seriously had chills running down by my spine..that was so well-written. It was... how can you say it? It was so out-there, like you knew that something bad was going to happen, but you didn't know what. You kept this story in great suspense.
I'm glad that you went through what had happened as Harry had died. (Although I'm not glad that Harry died! *sniff* It gave you more background on his death, and how Voldemort died as well.
Oh, and you should totally make this into a chaptered fic; although I don't know how you would be able to drag out the story more.
I didn't see that many errors in punctutation or spelling; but I did see a part where Trelawney was spelled wrong.
You had very good ideas put into this fic, and I love your writing style and the way you wrote it. It was so touching and emotionally beautiful... it was a great fic, that's all I'll say.
And for the Ron and Hermione part.
This was yet another scary twist in your story. Ron and Hermione were broken apart, as was Harry and Ginny, by none other than Voldemort's wrath.
You can tell that this fic was very well-thought out and carefully put together. You had great ideas incorporated into this story. Very creative.
I'm glad that you ended this fic the way you did.
Ginny laughed again, and for the first time in two years, she heard her husband again.
That's a great ending to a fic. You left the readers guessing, "Well, what is going to happen next?" But you still left them with hope that that the saddened characters would get through the terrible ordeal that the writer made up for them.
I really enjoyed reviewing this fic, and I am putting it on my favorites list. A truly, wonderfull, and well-written fic. Great work, Jordan!
Summary: During the years of terror, friends turned against friends. Family turned against family. None could be trusted. Random attacks on prominent wizards and witches turned up, some ending in a horrible and violent death.
A well-loved Order member is found dead in her own home along with her husband, brother, and little girl. An old friend stumbles upon the scene, horrified.
I drop my wand as I stumbled backwards. I stare at my hands in shock. I feel myself stepping on something soft, and I fall backwards, landing on top of –
A little girl.
Wow. What an amazing start to an amazing fic. You really know how to get someone's attention in writing. For some odd reason, this sentence reminded me of The Green Mile.
The blond man falls forward, dead before his nose smashes with a sickening crunch against the wooden stairs.
I think that you meant for 'blond' to be 'blonde'.
“You ended it too soon” comes the heavily-accented voice I know too well.
I think that you had meant to have a comma after soon.
I find that sentence terribly sad. "You killed her too soon?" He already tortured her SO much, and to know that somebody even thought that is horrible. That person is a terrible person, but you have them characterized nicely.
The brown-haired man flies backward, his head hitting the glass of the picture frame before he hits the ground hard. Screams pour out of a nearby room. The stranger smiled – those screams will intensify by the time the sun rises.
Ooh. That's really chilling. You have amazing description here. Once again, you really get my attention by the first few sentences, but I keep on getting pulled in by your wording. That's really deep, and scary.
The way that you wrote this story makes you 'feel' like you are actually in this story. It's bloody scary, really, and that's a great aspect to have as a writer.
I like how you don't really identify the characters until later in this fic. Saying 'brown-haired man' and others doesn't usually work in some fics, but it definitely did in yours. The sense of mystery is great, because in other fics it is a bit confusing, but in yours; perfect.
I hear Karkaroff shout the Killing Curse at me. And I welcome the green light.
What a truly chilling and sad ending! Well, not really sad, because from what I gathered in the fic, the one that is about to die just killed the poor woman!
'And I welcome the green light' That is a truly amazing group of words. How did you come up with such a great sentence?
It's nice to see that you wrote about Karkaroff. I haven't seen many fics about him, and even though he is only here for a bit, he was awful the entire time; perfect characterization.
Truly deep and crazy amazing story. I like the cliffie ending that you put, and basically all of your ideas and the plot put into this story. Great job! It's going on my favorites list.