I am no longer an author on Mugglenet Fan Fiction. But please enjoy the stories I wrote a year or so ago anyhow! Thank you to everyone who wrote meaningful, wonderful reviews and supported my writing. If you wish to contact me, please do so by email, at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you.
My name is Lindsey, with the penname of Ron x Hermione on both here and the forums. I am a member of the Hufflepuff house and support my house with the utmost respect and endeavour, always going out of my way when possible to receive extra points. This would be one of the reason I have such an extensive library of stories, because most of them are challenge fictions. Some have even won a few awards. For example, Pain Doesn't Cost a Thing won first place in the Summer Challenge in 2007, Unexpected Gifts won second place in a challenge near Christmas 2006, Sacking that Silvery Man . . . won third place in the 'Dolores Umbridge Challenge' in the Spring-Summer of 2007, The Depths of a Darkened Mind won third place in the Gauntlet of Summer 2007, and I'm thinking that that is it. I had taken leave from about August 2007 to October-ish, but I found that I couldn't stay away from here for that long. I hope that my writing has improved at least a bit since last writing a story, and I hope that you, the possible reader, enjoys what you read.
Drop-dead-gorgeous banner by KC/sayiansirius! Go Hufflepuffs!
I am officially in SPEW! (The Society for the Proper Evaluation of Writers.) *coughs or Society for the Protection and Expansion of Weirdness coughs* But I now have a straitjacket! *tries to wave but can't due to restraint*
I now am even in the Susan Bones Book Club, where we analyse different brilliant stories on the forums. It's amazing there. Cute Banner by Noldo.
And though I have blatantly yet to go on a poetry spree of writing, I am in Poetry Anyone, a great little club where poets come together to share their views and thoughts on the metre of a poem. :) Amazing banner by the lovely suzie/crazy_purple_hp_freak!
January 30th, 2008:
The last update I kind of lied a bit. I'm sorry about that. It turned out that while soccer winded down, drama and schoolwork didn't, keeping me away for longer. Now I have a few hours on the computer every once in a while and found that I couldn't stay away from some of the challenges. I just had a new story published Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap if it is of any interest to you, dear reader. -grins- I do hope that I continue to write stories and someone continues to read them. Thanks very much for all of the continuous support through reviews and emails. I love you all.
Books: Harry Potter 1-SEVEN, Where Willows Grow, Rose for Melinda, The Giver, Gathering Blue, The Messenger, Prayer for Owen Meany, Charlotte’s Web, Bridge to Terabithia, Shiloh, Where the Red Fern Grows, Summer of the Monkeys, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Man on Fire, Anthem, A Rip in Heaven, The Stand, Crank, and Night.
Movies: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Saw 1 and 2 and 3, Domestic Disturbance, Armageddon, Tristan and Isolde, Simon Birch, The Sixth Sense, My Girl, Where the Red Fern Grows, Day After Tomorrow, Holes, Red Eye, Moulin Rouge, The Outsiders, Flight of the Phoenix, High School Musical 2, Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Ladder 49, National Treasure, For the Love of a Child, Click, House of D, Mean Creek, Wild Hogs, Blades of Glory, Disturbia, Spiderman 3, Hairpsray! (the newer version), The Stand (mini series) and Across the Universe (though I was utterly disappointed), but the music was amazing.
TV: My stimulus for Mondays is 'Heroes', where the weekly glimpse of Milo Ventimiglia keeps me going; on Tuesdays I watch 'The Biggest Loser' if I don't have a soccer game; I watch 'Kid Nation, 'Private Practice, and 'CSI: New York'; and on Thursdays I watch 'Grey's Anatomy'. Yes, I have a nice schedule going on.
Music: I have recently become a raging addict for Cartel. Will Pugh is just . . . So amazing. I also really like Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson, and Evan Rachel Wood off the Across the Universe movie and soundtrack, I found an old Backstreet Boys CD and have found a newfound love again for them, Family Force 5, John Mayer, Josh Groban, Kelly Clarkson, and all of the cast of High School Musical 2 with the exception of Vanessa Hudgens.
Favorite Actors and Actresses: Rupert Grint, Jake Gylenhaal, William Moseley, Nicolas Cage, Ewan McGregor, Joseph Mazzello, Leonardo DiCaprio, David Duchovny, Jim Sturgess, Dakota Fanning, Dennis Quaid, Hayden Panettierre, Milo Ventimiglia, Gary Sinise, and Shia Labeouf.
Pretty much amazing banner by KC/sayiansirius for His Poison!
“Thank you, Hermione whispered. She slowly left the room and shut the door behind her.
You missed a set of quotation marks after 'you'.
I really like how you've incorporated this little girl's love, Charlotte's, into the story. I'm glad that she loves the sister enough for basically the rest of her day to be ruined in her worry because of what Giselle had protested to Marvolo. I don't know if Robespierre would actually send her to the guillotine for an outburst like she had in the chapter before, but it just goes to show how cruel he is. This reminds me of PotC 3 when the little boy is going to be hanged for being a pirate. *sad*
“I find a way around the wall,” Hermione said softly. “There are never only two options.”
I found myself laughing aloud at this. I love Hermione's characterisation here. It's spot on in most alces, but here it's amazing. I love your portrayal of her headstrong-ness.
“What is a man to do when he falls in love with a woman whom he has just met?”
Oh, gosh, Hermione, get out of there, now. This is great, Fresca.
While I think Robespierre, if I were in Hermione's position, is the most handsome, wonderful man she could have found at this moment, is it kind of uncommon for a man at his status to meddle with the likes of a maid? They never really stated in plain fact to the committee that they were going to go back in another room and kiss and profess feelings, but from a committee member's point of view, a maid showing up and a man of his status willingly and not comedically speaking to her in another room . . . does that not kind of seem odd?
(As I'm looking from an outsider/reader's point of view in this day and age) the way you've described Robspierre as kind of telling Hermione to come to his house and then just professing his love to her the way you've described is slightly nerving and a . . . um, bit creepy. I guess this is only because a similar situation happened to me with a stalker at the mall, but it's creepy whe things like that happen! Especially to Hermione; poor dear. But then again, it could be kind of custom to talk and act this way back then, and I not know it. But I adore his character. I can see him perfectly.
Oh, my gosh, and the way you ended this chapter, Fresca!? I know that I tend to use this word a lot, but I'm placing it out here now: Amazing. Absolutely, admirably amazing. I like how you did that instance of 'if she could have known . . .' in each sentence, and that really makes this story that much more wonderful. This story is really, really good. Awesome chapter. And they had better not be taking Charlotte.
Great and descriptive start, Fresca.
After groping in desperation for over a minute, however, Hermione let Charlotte’s wrist fall from her hand; there was no pulse.
Aw . . . this is really, really sad. I really like how you had portrayed the character, and to see her die like that brought tears to my eyes. Why did they kill that poor little girl? And the way you described the whole atmosphere and set was incredible. It really set off the horridness of the situation and what had happened. Between the overturned chairs and the blood on the polished floors, you hit this scene perfectly.
. . . and illuminated her surroundings with the fiery tip of her wand.
I find this kind of odd. Hermione knows the consequences of what would happen if she used magic; she'd probably get sent to the guillotine herself solely because the entire town would have found she was a witch, and that would have made her odd in presence in itself. No one would have wanted her around, and between what Giselle said about Robespierre versus Hermione’s having a wand and being a witch . . . *weighs hands* I think that Hermione would have lost that one. The Salem Witch trials would be happening around the same time, right? The Witch trials happened in 1692, and you say this is the 1700s. I know that this is in Europe and Salem is in the Americas, but would Europe have heard something about the event? I think Hermione would have been way more careful about using her wand. She's definitely not stupid.
Aw, and how Giselle wished to die since she couldn't live without her sister was very sad, but very heartfelt. Nice work with that.
“Hermione,” he said softly, extending his arm out to her to help her up. His lips curled into a sneer. “You really ought to watch where you are going.”
Ooh, I hate him, Fresca, I hate him. How dare he do that to Hermione! Gosh, how terribly cruel. So, basically, he just seduced Hermione to get her away from the household to kill Giselle and Charlotte? I thought it was kind of odd he just kind of made off with a maid like that. Ooh, and I thought he was so cute and nice . . . but kind of a stalker, of course. But he is very cunning. You made me like him, then hate him, Fresca. Amazing work with his character.
So that was it then. Hermione Granger had gone back in time to save the future, but she had been trapped in love, trapped in time. Rashleigh had suspected something like that had happened when he had found the splinters of her wand on his floor the day before, but he had hoped he had read the signs wrong.
Ooh, and very creative and chilling ending. And Hermione died! *cries* It was a very heartfelt and good ending, though. One question: Why would Hermione have returned with only a gash at the base of her neck when the guillotine actually chops the person's actual head off? Ooh, I hate Robespierre, he is sickening. He murdered Hermione for no good reason.
But, still--- even though I didn't like the ending, I loved it. (make sense, eh?) I loved the creativity, description, and most of all, I like your boldness and daring to allow something horrid to happen to Hermione. Everyone in this competition that I have read have allowed their character to return safely and prevail in their mission, but you allowed Hermione to fall ill to her desires, and she actually was murdered because of it. Nice work.
Fresca, you need to have up another chaptered fiction. Like, now. I want to read it. Good work on this story, and it's an absolute no wonder that you won.
*huggles for great read*
Ashley, dude! This was the best chapter yet. All of them were amazing. I really liked your description of her transformation into a werewolf. And I thought it was the sweetest thing how Remus came in to find her after the night had passed with his hands covering his eyes--- that just goes to show how much he respects her. Very good work. I really do hope that you do write a few one shots centering around Remus and Irene--- though what about, I don't know. if you ever do find inspiration, you definitely know where to find a beta, because I adore reading your work. You're a great writer, dear. Also, best of luck in the Color of Loss challenge--- I do believe I saw your name there. I'll have to read that as well.
Author's Response: Hey Lindsey! Oh, thanks so much! I\'m so glad you\'re back, because now I have my favourite beta to run back to. :) I\'m so pleased you liked this chapter, it definitely was my hardest to finish. And I can\'t wait to write more on Irene and Remus. I\'m actually thinking of working them into a full length story, although more than likely it will be written during the summer when I have time. And yes, I\'m entered in the Color of Loss Challenge, though I\'m not sure how my entry will fare. Once again though, I\'m so excited you\'re back and will turn to you as soon as I\'ve finished something else!
YAY! I am absolutely ecstatic that this is up, because you know how much I love it. You've got excellent description, and you are an absolutely amazing writer, dear. I love how she has a crush on Lupin, and then the horrid part about he attacks her is . . . well, horrid. I do hope that Madam Pomfrey can fix that. I do also hope that you send me chapter two soon. :) Good luck in writing! *shakes head* Amazing . . .
Author's Response: THANK YOU SOO MUCH! I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THIS COULD HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED WITHOUT YOU! THANKS FOR HELPING ME CLEAR EVERYTHING UP! AND I DON\'T THINK YOU\'LL BE WAITING TOO MUCH LONGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! ♥
Yay, Nicole! I love your story! It's so detailed about Neville, a character we know nothing about, and to see it through his POV is just great. You did a great job in writing this. I wish you luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: *Jumps for joy* Thanks Lindsey, I couldn\'t have done this without you and your awesome beta\'ing skills!
I am so glad that you picked me to beta this, dear. I particularly enjoyed Fudge's and Umbridge's emotions and findigns in the end of chapter three. Amazing twist! And I love how you've incorporated Umbridge's evillness and thoughts into your fiction. Good luck in the challenge! It looks as if it's just three of us! :)
Author's Response: Aw, thanks Lindsey. You are a wonderful and great beta, thanks for all your imput in this story.
Wow, Anna, this was a very interesting story, one that I particularly enjoyed! I loved your description and how it flowed.
Wealth and influence shone as accessories from the man and two women, now handing their snow-sprinkled coats to the house-elf. The man, who was of a very considerable size, had an extraordinary aura about him, and was the kind of person Abraxas would almost allow to show interest in his precious wife. The shorter woman, beaten in beauty only by the other who looked to be their daughter, gracefully placed her hand on the man’s arm.
That is . . . amazing, Anna! I adored this sentence, it was wonderful.
And I adore Miss Malory's characterisation. It was brilliant--- she seemed as if she were a very sophisticated lady, and to have Lucius fall in 'love' with her was a very nice twist. I liked it when he didn't care about whether or not his fiancée dancing with his wife.
“Go, Lucius. And don’t let your father see you.”
I found this a bit odd, though, because it kind of just . . . stuck out to me. Why would Lucius' mother allow him to engage in something like that, when she knows that he has a fiancée? It just seems a bit bizarre to me that a mother would help her son do something like that--- but if she knows what Lucius thinks about love---Love was a word unknown to him, and one he had no interest in adding to his vocabulary. --- then she would have allowed him, but I could see it as . . . perhaps his friend, maybe, saying this?
I like how you used Lucius, someone we know so little about, and his characterisation was great as well. I really enjoyed reading him.
But I really adored this story, Anna. It was very description-filled and it had a lot of twists. Good work.
Author's Response: Hi Lindsey, and thanks for this lovely review! I’m nearly brushing from all of your lovely praise.
In my version of the magical pure-blood society, adultery isn’t exactly something uncommon. Most marriages are arranged, and therefore it’s almost accepted – by some - for a witch or a wizard to find a bed-partner elsewhere. Lydia Malfoy, who cares immensely about her son and silently regrets that he’s to marry a woman that is, to her, boring, prejudiced and stuck-up, wouldn’t hesitate to encourage him to partake in some “innocent” philandering. He’s not married yet, after all, and Lydia thinks that he should take the chance to enjoy himself, to have a taste (no pun intended) of a real woman, before he should settle for Narcissa. Also, although I never think that Lydia even thought it out loud to herself, perhaps she was hoping that Lucius would fall head over heels for another woman and call off the arranged engagement completely.
Again, thanks for your review, dear!
This was really one of the best fan fiction stories I have ever read, and I truly mean that. Wow . . . the emotions, portrayal of characters . . . you're an amazing writer, dear. This is a wonderful, sad story.
Cho winced as she ran her fingers over the swelling bruise above her left eyebrow. It was a sickly yellow-green color; the color of an almost healed injury. Paolo hadn’t been quite so angry that night. At least, not angry enough to warrant blood or broken bones.
Oh, this is just so sad. I do hope that you aren't speaking from personal experiences with this. While this is a wonderful start, it's terribly heartbreaking and depressing. But you've got a nice evening out of the description, and then getting across what you're trying to say. I knew exactly what you were talking about.
Suddenly Cho realized what she had done: she had used magic against her husband, a Squib; she had used magic against a person who hated it with a passion.
I have one question. I am curious as to why Paolo hates magical people with a passion. You say that he hates them, yet he married Cho. I can see how you've addressed that, but it still seems kind of odd. I know that someone would not keep a secret about something that huge from their spouse, and Cho didn't. But, if he was a Muggle, then he wouldn't know about them, and since he married Cho, he should love them, right? But I'm torn between thinking that he is Muggle and a Squib . . . you've stated that he is a Muggle at one point and Squib in the other. So, what is he? :) If he was a Squib, then that would lightly explain why he hated all magical people--- he might hate them because they can do magic and he can't . . . I would have a bit of a grudge as well if I couldn't, but I just wanted to let you know about that.
I don't usually read fiction with characters we rarely see in the books, but this one with Cho Chang was amazing. Even though we didn't see a lot of her in the books, I think that you have her portrayed very nicely.
I think that you've also written this very well, too. I could actually see Paolo walking inside the house, drunk, with a bottle of scotch in his hands ---- I could actually see Cho and her mother sitting down on the couch and her mother forcing herself to look at her daughter's bruises --- and I could see Cho and Paolo making up (?) at the end in her hospital room. That's a sign of a great writer, if I can see it that clear in my mind that way.
“You’re pregnant, Cho. You’re three months pregnant.”
“There’s nothing tying you to him except your love.”
Oh, wow. The sentence on how she's pregnant made me get chills. That's really hard for her to have to choose between. If she's pregnant, then she's going to want to stay with her husband, but he abuses her. Even at the end when he promises her never to hurt her or drink again, she wants to believe him. And to think that she was pregnant when he basically raped and knocked her around, still!
This was Paolo, her Paolo, how had she ever considered leaving him? He would change; he wouldn’t hurt her anymore, for fear of hurting their child. He would change, Cho was sure. Or at least…she hoped he would.
I think that you meant to have a semi colon instead of a comma after the second 'Paolo'. But this was a very heartbreaking, but . . . happy?ending to this story. You've left the readers to figure out for themselves if Paolo is really going to be good to her this time or not. It's always nice to see certain types of fictions ending with bits of mystery. You did that perfectly, and I am proud to say that I have read this story. I am going to recommend it in the Fiction Junction. :)
Wonderful work--- I can tell that you put a lot of hard work and dedication into this story; it shines brilliantly when read.
Author's Response: WOW. Your review has left me speechless! I can\'t believe you liked it so much. You\'ve really made me smile and made my day! Paolo is a Squib, and Cho didn\'t tell him she was a witch until after they were married. Sorry that didn\'t come across clearly. Thank you so much for this amazing review, and I\'m so happy you like this story; it\'s very close to my heart.
Oh my gosh, that was bloody hilarious. This is a very good story, nice work. Look forward to updates.
Author's Response: Thanks...but updates won\'t be happening for quite some time now, I\'m afraid. See my bio. But I\'m glad you liked it!
Oh, yay! I am so glad that this is up, dear. I particularly enjoyed beta-ing (and reading) this because of its originality. It's got such a deep meaning in these lines . . . I could actually see the people in the corners, huddled together amongst family and friends; just waiting for their fates. Congratulations on this poem!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Lindsey! You really helped the poem. I\'m glad you liked it. I was sort of thinking about the things I would do if I knew I could die any second. These were a few things I thought I would do. Thanks again!
Ooh, I really liked the ay you compared everything in this fiction. Very nice poem, dear!
Author's Response: Thanks Lindsey! I\'m glad you liked it!
Ooh, Sarah, I absolutely adored this one shot. I believed I had read it before, but then I went back and saw it was from our class!
The way you've portrayed Draco in this story is amazing. You should be very proud of this one shot. When you use words such as 'Slytherin Prince', you're bound to get some attention with this one; I love it!
Draco was frozen. Frozen in time, frozen in this moment so imperfect to his eyes that it was perfect, frozen in the warmth that Hermione's hand gave him.
I like how you've named the fiction after these sentences, or rather, these sentences after the fiction. It's really cute how he froze because a sleepy Hermione looked at him; it's so sweet. I think you have officially converted me to Dramione.
On the other hand, I am a bit confused when I re-read this:
Ever since he had become Head Boy, and began rooming with Hermione, it seemed as if the entire situation was an inviting new experience for him.
When you say 'began rooming with Hermione', wouldn't someone else already find out about that? Wouldn't Dumbledore or McGonagall find out that a boy and girl were rooming together and take that privilege away? Or am I just misunderstanding something? Because towards the end you talk about the owl and how fearful Draco is on the school finding out about their love. Misunderstanding or mistake?
Suddenly, a distant sound cracked the silence and caused Draco to fall back in fear. He looked towards the window and saw an owl, staring at him with piercing yellow eyes. Draco felt guilty, felt afraid, as if the owl would somehow tell the rest of the school that the great Draco Malfoy was holding hands with Hermione; that the Slytherin Prince was falling, hard, for Hermione Granger.
What's funny is that I know that when I do bad things, if my cat sees me I feel bad. Here, Draco isn't necessarily crossing the line, but if he and Hermione were to get caught together then Harry and Ron would certainly have something to say about it, not to mention the entire school. It's really well-written how you portray this here. Especially when you say afterward that Draco is embarrassed.
It was SO quick, but so good. I really wish you would continue it, but I understand how it could be a stand alone.
I adore how you've ended it; the way he holds onto Hermione's fingers as she sleeps is SO sweet.
Great one shot, Sarah! I'm glad to see it up on MNFF!
Author's Response: Lindsey!! *tacklehugs* Thank you so much for this amazing review, and also for using it for the Recomend Your Fav Fic thing. Once again, I am *so* honored. Thank you so much. As far as that part, yes, they were rooming together but as you know in the Head Girl/Head Boy dormitories. People knew that they were HG/HB, but he didn\'t want them to find out that he watched her at night, or that he was falling for her through those nights. I hope that made sense. Thanks again!!
Ooh, That was very, very good! I like the story you've told, and I like the way you kept the requirements down. Nice work!
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m usually not so great at dark kinda fics, but for this poem it was a requirement...it took a lot out of me, lol, so I\'m glad my effort paid off! I really appreciat your review, Lindsey! ~GG
Aw, Keri, this was an absolutely beautiful story, as I've already said. I absolutely adore (the name and him) Brett and his character, and Lily's emotions over her long lost friend was priceless and very affective to the readers. I really enjoyed this one shot, and it's going on my favourites. Wherever did you get the idea? I'm glad to see that someone incorporated someone's 'home' friends after Hogwarts. Very touching--- 11/10.
Author's Response: Hey Lindsey! Thanks so much for the review! The idea came from the summer\'s dawn and the memories that always come with it. :]
Aw, Kate! Why does this have no reviews? It should have fifty. It's an amazing one shot about a pairing that we rarely see anything written about, and I thought you had it written wonderfully. I like your plot; it was original, and I liked seeing something through Pansy's point of view. Keep up the good work, and (I'd really like to see another chapter). *giggles*
Author's Response: Aww, thanks, Lindsey! You\'re a fantastic beta, and maybe I will write another chapter.
He swore loudly when the elevator doors opened, revealing a packed compartment. I don't usually, really ever, read Marauder Era stories, so reading James and Lily is new for me. Your summary stuck out to me, so I decided that this would be the one I would read. I really like your characterization of James thus far through the story. The image of a near-father cursing ever few seconds is quite funny.
She’d insisted on waiting for you to arrive, but…well,” Sirius shrugged, “She could only hold out for so long.” Ha ha, this is hilarious!
I wasn’t blind the past nine months, you know. I’ve watched you love that baby when it was still in the womb. Sometimes, I see you just staring at Lily’s belly with such love, it made me wish I was that baby. Even Lily’s exasperated because of how much you rub her tummy and how many times you’ve insisted on feeling the baby kick. And don’t tell me you spent so long fussing over the wallpaper of the nursery to duck out at the last minute, Prongs.” Sirius winked. I like how you've told the story of Lily and James' past nine months concerning Lily's pregnancy and summed it all up in one paragraph. You've portrayed the emotion and love that James has for Harry perfectly, just how a real father should. Nice work.
James couldn’t but smile. I think that you forgot to place a 'help' after 'couldn't'.
Here you go, James. Don’t panic. Just like you’d practiced.
Lily held out her arms.
Baby’s head in the crook. It's extremely sweet how you have James talking inwardly to himself to better remember how to hold his son. I also love how you've allowed Lily to name the baby. It was a very sweet moment. And the ending was wonderful. For James to blatantly state that he was going to protect his baby son with his life was a very nice touch to a great story. Nice work.
Thank you so very much! LOL, I'm glad you liked it! ~Lindsey :)
Author's Response: :$
Aw, this was terribly sad but extremely well written. I absolutely adore the poem you used--- I first heard it when I had to recite it for a class, then in the movie 'The Outsiders' if you've seen it. ;) Anyhow, this was very brilliant--- I really liked it, and the pairing of the poem with it was a nice choice.
Author's Response: I actually got it from the book the outsiders, and I watched the film after I wrote it. I don\'t like how he reads it in the film, though. He has breakes in all the wrong places, IMO. Anyways, I\'m so glad you liked it! ::D ~Evie
Holy crap, Fresca! I saw this story in the April challenge in the common room and, seeing it was by you, decided to read it. Wow--- it was so sad, seeing Harry's reactions, his pleading for you to understand of why he killed his best friends.
And heck yes I judge what he did. How awful! I guess I understand his reasoning [you had a great argument for him there, good work, and explained it very well], between knowing they're going to die and not wanting Voldemort to be the one to do it, but to see Harry kill Ron and Hermione was just TOO heartwrenching! Oh, poor thing. I really wonder how he lives with himself now. How is he living now, with this guilt?
I have a question--- how did Ginny, Mrs. Weasley, Hermione's parents if he ever found them, react? Did Voldemort really actually kill everyone?
I love your second person. Great work. I would have slipped up somewhere.
Great work! While this story is a bit different than some of the ones I have read of yours, it was still brilliant and very, very different. It was kind of almost--- sweet to see Draco and Harry getting along that way. Of course, because Harry saved his life in DH, that would be a great cause for him to be caring to him now, but I never would have thought to see a slash story about them. Even though I don't agree with the ship, I thought you did this beautifully and very convincingly.
Potter's wet cheeks were a testament to his grief, to Draco’s grief, to the first thing they had ever had in common, and Draco was suddenly seized with the bizarre desire to go over and comfort the boy he had detested all his life…
I like the way that these two have come together. It's almost as if they could just forget their past and become friends (and possibly more than that in this case). I like ho you've described them here--- it's as if they're on person, and that's really well written.
Harry glanced around nervously before cupping Draco’s face in both his hands and leaning forward so that their foreheads were touching. “You have,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over Draco’s lips.
This is very well written, but I can't see it happening--- not at this moment, anyhow. If Ithey really were trying to make this ship happen in this particular story, then wouldn't they wait? Because Ginny is still standing there with his daughter, and wouldn't she be watching? It seems kind of dimwitted on Harry's part to show that right in front of his wife and Lily. Or . . .
. . . surreptitiously flicked his wand under Harry’s arm at Ginny Potter, whose gaze immediately slid out of focus.
Is that what this meant? Did he somehow bewitch Ginny not be able to listen, but not the Muffliato Spell? I'm not sure I understood it correctly.
They suddenly so close that Draco could see the myriad indefinable emotions flickering in Harry’s eyes.
Did you mean to put a 'were' in between 'They' and 'suddenly'?
(and I know Uncle Ron will be, too)
This had me rolling. I know how Ron feels about Slytherin, and I suddenly imagined him spitting out loads of pumpkin juice all over himself when he found it out. Good work with that, that was brilliant.
Very nice ending. I was happy to see that Draco's 'debt' was repaid through his childhood. It looks as if they'll get a few more meetings if their sons are friends. I enjoyed this! Nice work.
Author's Response: First of all, thanks for all the reviews you\'ve left for my fics, Lindsey. I\'ve read them all, and I appreciate all the time you take to sit down and write such thoughtful comments :) I\'m happy to see that you have no reservations about reading ships, especially slash ones, that you don\'t necessarily agree with. Thanks for point out some of the mistakes I made, and as for Harry\'s intimate gesture... well, I\'d like to think that Ginny knows that he and Draco have something of a past together, since I see the pairing as one that wouldn\'t keep secrets from one another. Just in case, though, Draco confunded Ginny :P