Life at number four, Privet Drive, was nearly perfect. It was quiet, peaceful, a place where not a blade of grass or leaf on a tree was out of place, and a place that housed a loving family of three.
I really liked this first line. I think that it was a good introduction, and it was a great way to show how ordinary and orderly the Dursleys’s lives were before Harry came. I especially liked that “…not a blade of grass of leaf on a tree was out of place” I thought that that was a really good way to say “everything was orderly and perfect”
The bassinette, it should be known, was already much too small for the new baby
I don’t know why, but I really liked this line. It symbolized that Harry was growing up and that since his parents died he grew too fast and now he had to be on his own.
To any on-looker, he was an angel. However, to the Dursleys, he remained a daily grievance.
I thought that that was a really good line. It kind of described Harry life in the wizarding world compared to the Muggle world. In the Muggle world, he was teased and hated while in the wizarding world he was loved and famous.
Harry, being the smart baby he was, noticed this and began yearning for attention, even going as far as attempting to play with some of Dudley’s toys he never seemed to touch anymore. That would result in Dudley crying, Petunia yanking the toy away from Harry, a good spanking following, and Harry would cry and whimper off in his own little corner with his broken hand-me-down toys and spiders as company.
Long excerpt :) I really liked this part because it made Harry as a baby really realistic. He’s always been neglected, and I always wondered how he handled it. I thought that him being a baby and everything that he would have a reaction like that. It was really good that you added that in there to show how hard it must have been for him as a child. Also, it broke my heart when he tried to play with Dudley’s toys, but they wouldn’t let him. That just made me very sad…
As time passed, the smile on little Harry’s face began to fade
That was a really sad, but good, line. It was subtle, but it made the point clearly and dramatically. It was just a really good memorable transition.
In addition to all of that, I really liked how you made Harry’s character. The way you wrote him as a baby really represented him as a child/teenager. When he was 11-14, he bottles everything up and managed to keep smiling, no matter what happened. Then once he turned 15, he finally burst. He was yelling and was really frustrated. He finally let it all out, which was similar to when Harry couldn’t stop crying. It was really great how those two were kind of similar.
Also, I really liked that ending. It was nice how you showed that he remembered it as a teenager. I also really liked how Harry was talking about how he heard it in the wind sometimes. It was just a nice reminder that people never truly leave us forever. It was just really….nice. Overall, I really liked the story. It never got boring, and it was very realistic. I think that it was a really great. 10/10
Author's Response: Wow... now that\'s commentary... It\'s amazing to think that you\'d write all of that for such an old story... Anyway, thanks for the review and all the kind words. At first glance, I thought it was all the sentences I made mistakes in. Guess not! I\'m glad you liked it so much. And nice rating ;)
OMGodric! Yay an update! This chapter was great. I loved hoe Mackenzie showed up in Grimauld place and talked to Remus in the beggining =]
I really love this story can't wait for an update!!
..a bit random, but thats what i liked about!! It was really funny. HAHA Sheamus was drunk lolol...sorry i had to say that lol
“And then she’s like ‘oh James you’re so smart’!” boasted James.
HAHAH that's my fav line from the chapter. HAH i think i laughed at that for like a full 10 minutes....or maybe it was just thje caffine....ehhh w.e.
Author's Response: Lol, thanks. That was a kind of a spur-of-the-moment-I-want-James-to-be-arrogant-and-immature thing. Chapter 20 will be submitted as soon as possible! Miss Radcliffe~
HAHAHA!! i had to read this fic a second time while actually listening to the song! HAHA
This was really great. I loved this story so much. The ending was great. I love when you have one scene frmo the past, then another scene later on and they both connect. 10/10!
hahah i looved it!
Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m glad. Thank you for reviewing as well, it means a lot!
i think i've reviewed this fic about 100 times!!! I really REALY don't want it to be abandoned!!! PLLEEEAAASSSEEE UPDATEEE!!!
i looove this story! i think i've reviewed this before.....
OMG it's killing me....u can NOT just stop the story with a cliffhanger lol =]
Great start! I loved the Beauxbatons letter. I think that that was really creative and was probably hard to write. Can't wait for an update!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I\'m working on it!
hahahah. It was really funny! The end was my favorite part.
Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m glad you liked it. =D
WOOHHH!! I loved this chapter. OMG I wondered who poisoned her. Cliff hanger...darn you halfbloodprincess22....although, that makes me even mroe eager for chapter 22. Him, was it snape, maybe? or is he just a false suspect. Are you trying to trick us by making him seem all...evil.... haha. Anyways, loved this chapter! 10/10 :)
Author's Response: ha ha ha, the evil cliffie. don\'t worry, chapter 22 will be up as soon as is humanly possible. i promise. :)
haha i loved it! It was just one of those simple, non-complex one-shots that you need everyonce and a while. It's nice to have a break from all of the complicated chapter fics that I'm constantly reading haha. Your fic made my day ahaha
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Yeah, I think that once in a while everyone just needs to branch out and read a plotless lighthearted fic.
Haha, this story is great so far. I love the comments at the end. I also loved the Snake Foe Foul Boy along with prettynpureblood, that was pretty funny. =]
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m vewy glad you like it... I liked Draco\'s name myself.
"Of course, just say a ‘yer mum’ joke to Potter, and he’ll collapse onto the ground howling in agony about how his mother is dead… lame to the third power."
Best line ever. Hahaha, that's pretty good =]
Author's Response: Seriously... all Dudley had to say was, \"your mum\'s dead!\" and Harry started yelling at him.
Hahah great ending =] This was a really great story!
Author's Response: Thanks! I had fun with the ending, myself (and shall be disappointed if it happens any differently in Deathly Hallows, har.)