Penname: HPwizzzard [Contact]
Real name: Jessi
Member Since: 10/07/06
Website: http://hpwizzzard.livejournal.com/
Beta-reader: 0
Status: Member
Bio:
Hello to my faithful fans! All two of you. I haven't died, but I have been a very bad author what with not writing anything for months, losing the link to the translated version of "HP!" someone so kindly, umm, translated, and ignoring my reviews. Truth is, I've been avoiding MNFF, which has a lot to do with the embarassing nature of some of my reviews of others' work, and also the main site itself, MuggleNet. I plan to write LOTS more, cleaning up JKR's loose ends, so keep an eye out. If you want to get in touch, I'm active on LJ, so please, please comment to my journal. DON't email me.

What with DH, a lot of my views on HP have changed. It will probably effect my stories, and it's alreadly effected my profile, as you can see. I hope the rough spot I'm going through with canon will only change my writing in fanon for the better. Keep an eye out! But probably NOT in R/T, okay?
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Reviews by HPwizzzard
 

Summary: Written Pre-DH


In Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix, Moody tells Harry never to put his wand in his back pocket. Now we get to find out why he told Harry this bit of valuable info, and just what better wizard than him has lost a buttock.

Rated 3rd to 5th years just in case.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 1098 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/27/07 Updated: 01/29/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 01/31/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Hmm. Not bad. But Susan Bones is harry's age, just to point that out...

 

We Can't by RupertsPheonix
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: During a late night Order discussion between the two, Tonks and Remus get sidetracked, but Remus pulls things to a stop when he thinks of the possible consequences. Will an argument arise? And if one does, what will come of it?

Missing-Moment Scene.

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 899 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/01/07 Updated: 02/08/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: We Can't

Well, it was an OK story... but if you want to be remembered, you've got to do something different with this pairing. If you're just going to repeat what Jo said in HBP, you've got to be a really good writer, and I don't think you're there yet.

Author's Response: I appriciate your honesty and your opinion. Thanks for reviewing. RP

 
Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: We Can't

Well, it was an OK story... but if you want to be remembered, you've got to do something different with this pairing. If you're just going to repeat what Jo said in HBP, you've got to be a really good writer, and I don't think you're there yet.

Author's Response: Thanks again. RP

 

Why He Laughs At Death by wendelin the wierd
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: ‘It is often that one defining moment, that one split second which may change our lives forever.’



Remus is broken.



Once they had had a relationship, once they had had something. But with Remus being a werewolf, will things work out?



It almost did...



Written for the February One-Shot Challenge by Wendelin the weird of Gryffindor.



Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Self Injury

Word count: 1080 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
02/04/07 Updated: 02/04/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Two things amaze me. The first is that I haven't seen this before now, and the second is that no one else has reviewed. It was wonderfully depressing and it made me cry (which I need to stop doing over fanfiction, it makes the nice people in white coats ask questions). The decriptive language was amazing, particulary this bit:

Her long-sleeved robes fail to cover the raw red scars running down her wrists. Her hair has turned a mousey-brown and her eyes look cold, empty and somehow much more icy, as if all the life and warmth in them has slowly been sucked out. He knows he has done this to her and he still can’t meet her eyes.

Excellant. You slipped the self-injury (at least I asume that's what it is) in there in a subtle way few people can do. And your characterizations are perfect.

Now, for the concrit: I couldn't find much but a spelling error and a matter of personal taste, but here it is.

mousey-brown

The 'e' needs to be AK'd.

"You know, I have always thought you two would do well together," states Molly Weasley as she places a hand on Tonks’ shoulder.
“It’s…it’s mad,” he says, still refusing to look at her.


This... I have a problem with people chnaging canon dialouge when it's unessacerey to the story. It's not as well-written as Jo's words (sorry) so you'd be better off with the oringinal.

A thin, red veil covers her eyes and the room spins in front of her, a blur of colours, faces and people. Rough hands pick her up as they shout at her and ask a lot of meaningless questions, but all she sees is his face.

And I almost forget- it may be my own stupidity, but I have no idea what's going on here.












 

Summary: The war is difficult for everyone. One couple hope to make it through unscathed as they struggle to reconcile and trust one another. Through the grey and tiring hours, they come to realise one thing (the thing that may one day save their lives): with love, there can be hope



Written by crazy_purple_hp_freak of Slytherin for the February one-shot challenge.



Dedicated to Cheshlin.

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1334 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/18/07 Updated: 02/19/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Trust me, with love there is hope

Another story that popped up here without my noticing! And better yet, another good one. I like how you've conradicted the usual 'happy ending' we see with canon ships. I have nothing against happiness, but for people with 'skeletons in the closet' like Remus and Tonks have, it's going take time. You have struck the balence between fluff and angst commonly known as flangst- a silly word for a hard thing to pull off.

That said, a little more descripsion of the setting wouldn't be out of place. Also, there's something not quite right about this sentence that I can't put my finger on:
They held on tight, afraid to let go and not wishing to let go. (For tomorrow, or one day, there may be no one left to hold…)

I'd replace the word wishing with 'wanting'. You don't need those parentheses, and if you can eliminate one of the uses of "let go", that would help too.








Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Flangst? Not heard of that one before! :D Sounds rather odd but fun. :p I’ve nothing against happy endings either, but you’re right about this one. It would be so unrealistic for a couple such as Remus and Tonks to zap their problems away and have everything morph into happiness. These things take time, and certainly at this point with the war and all the troubles, it seems quite far away.

Thanks for the picks. Looking back, I think I would omit one of the ‘let go’ s as well. :) The parenthesis though, I rather like – it’s something that I often use in my writing to vary things occasionally.

Thanks for the helpful comments! ~Suzie

 

Dream Come True by rupertgrintlover13
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 160]

Summary: This is the story that every good Harry Potter fan wants to come true. I hope that I do it justice. Harry has Ginny. Ron has Hermione. Life is sweet…no catch. It’s the perfect dream come true.







It's all full of fluff and pixie dust!





All review get a response!

Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Sexual Situations

Word count: 13306 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
02/19/07 Updated: 07/02/10


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Home Sweet Home

Hem, hem... you can be a good HP fan without shipping canon. You might have offended a lot of people there.

Author's Response: I would like to know how i could have offended anyone unless they are H/Hr shippers... Please let me know so I can fix it if it\'s really that bad. If you don\'t like my choice in ships than don\'t read my story...

 

To the Victor Belong the Spoils by celtmama
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 38]

Summary: Past Featured StoryAll wars are fought for a reason, whether honourable or ignoble. This one started over an umbrella...

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 13676 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/20/07 Updated: 03/06/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1

This IS Remus/Tonks. This is the pairing I fell in love with. You were different, you had a great plot, your characters were amazingly true to the books, yet at the same time you showed a completely different side to them. I haven't 'squee-d' over a new story here in a long time, but i did today. Thank you.

Author's Response: You\'re absolutely welcome! This was a different style for me, but the characterizations are certainly the way I like to picture them as well. Thanks so much for the review! :D

 

Voldy Therapy by PadfootBaby
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 30]

Summary: A psychiatrist unexpectedly shows up on Voldemort’s doorstep one day and claims to be his therapist. A series of frightening and quite disturbing subjects are soon covered, including sunbathing, treacherous followers, unicorns, names, the hippie era, evil bunny rabbits, and hair. After each session, work becomes increasingly frustrating for Voldemort, until he realizes that the therapy has taken away his love for killing things. He angrily attempts to return to the life he used to have, but torturing Harry Potter and his dorky little friends doesn’t seem quite as fun as it used to...
Culminates in the final... er... battle? between Lord Voldemort and Harry.
Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills! R&R - and have fun!!!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4725 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
02/20/07 Updated: 04/30/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: An Unwanted Psychiatrist

Oh, very amusing so far! I especially like your characterization of Peter. But does Voldy know how the Girl Scout Cookie system works? You place an order, THEN, in a year or so, we come back with your cookies. And I want to know more about Alanna. Who is her mother? How did she find out Sirius was her dad? Does he even know she exists?


Author's Response: Oh well. Voldemort doesn\'t like to do things the conventional way, I guess! ;) (No really... I think I forgot about that. Hmph.) Oh, but we will find out more about Alanna as the story goes on! I couldn\'t just introduce such an awesome character without giving some background details!!! :) So don\'t worry... All will be revealed! Thanks for the review!!!

 

Summary: Lord Voldemort made a deal with someone who even he considers superior, and if he doesn't fulfill his side of it, then he'll be mortal again!

I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff house, and this is my submission for the Deathly Hallows prompt in the New Year's Challenge.

Although this story's a one-shot for the challenge, I may add more chapters after the contest is over.

EDIT: Dude! This story came in second in the "Deathly Hallows" prompt of the New Years' Challenge! So, let's do the "2nd Place Dance!" (It's a lot like the Cha-Cha slide.)


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1407 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/21/07 Updated: 02/23/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 02/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only

Magnificent, as is only to be expected. I really enjoyed Mr. Deathly. Certainly had its moments of humour (Horcrux Holder's License?) though darker than most of what you write. I look forward to a second chapter, especially after that ending, and of course the long-awaited sequel to Voldy's blog.

Author's Response: Thank you! I had fun with Mr. Deathly, too. You\'ll see more of him later in the story, but what I like so much about him is that he is the only person who can really push Voldemort into his place-- but he\'s so casual about it, unlike Voldemort, who always tries his hardest and pulls out all of the theatrical stops and props to intimidate those below him!

 

Moments in the Dark by Vindictus Viridian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Tom Riddle awakens and extends his power, drawing Ginny into the Chamber of Secrets as she draws him into her own secret thoughts.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1246 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/02/07 Updated: 03/02/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 03/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: -----

A suberb Tom/Ginny piece, and Tom is spot-on IC. I love his attack of conscious and desire to kiss Ginny. I applaude you *applause*

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it.

 

Summary: Well... it's high time that I did something so completely insane that the wizards in white robes dragged me off to the closed ward in St. Mungo's.



So, I spoofed the entire album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" by the Beatles, to be performed by your favourite Dark Lord and choice Death Eaters in the style of a rock opera. Eat your lonely hearts out!

I don't recommend this fic to those who are not at all familiar with the Beatles.


Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3322 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/11/07 Updated: 03/16/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 04/12/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only

HAHAHA! So I've only two of the songs. That didn't make it any less amusing! (well, yeah, it actually probably did, but whatever :)) In some twisted way, it was actually in character. I loved "Tell Draco not to die."

It's kind of odd, actually- I did one just like this with the entire soundtrack of The Lion King. It had the Harry/Ginny version of "Can You Feel The The Love Tonight" and the Death Eaters sang "Avada Kedavra... what a wonderful phrase!" I may just try to publish it now. ;)

I'd love to see a Phantom version of this, by the way *hinthint*

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you! I do plan on submitting my \'Phantom\' one fairly soon!

 

The Firebolt's Lament by LoOnY_for_Harry
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: This is a poem about the thoughts and daydreams of Harry's treasured Firebolt as it lies alone and abandoned, hoping to, someday, once again be of use.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 277 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/21/07 Updated: 03/25/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 04/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I owe you this.

Loved the poem. Rhyme, as we know, is not something I even attempt, because it sounds stupid. Your rhyme schemedid not sound stupid at all. Very different, too- personifing an object most would never think of. I liked the picture of Harry being too scarred by the war to enjoy life anymore- not flying, and (I got the impression) still not married to Ginny. I'm sure I'm wrong, but... I liked it very much.

Author's Response: Thanks Quinn.... I\'m honored! *blushes and giggles* I\'ve been told that this is a very original idea, and I wrote this whole poem while I wasn\'t paying attention in class... thanks for being so boring, Mr. *name edited for privacy reasons* Actually, Harry is married to Ginny, hence the red hair and green eyes thing, but he is too scarred by the war to truly be able to enjoy life, you were correct on that... I really wanted him to live through the war, even if it affected him! :) Thanks for the awesome review! :D

 

Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)

Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.

With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.

Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.

If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.

This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!

Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)


EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4020 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
03/25/07 Updated: 04/30/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 04/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Not A Loyal Slave In The World

Yeah, I talk to the shrubs. But they don't talk back. Usually.

And if you want to win American Idol YOU CAN"T BE UNASSUMING! yOU MUST BE ABLE TO GET ATTENTION!YOU MUST BE ABLE TO SING! I SOUND LIKE HARRY IN OOTP!



Author's Response: Haha, I can\'t believe we\'re all talking about American Idol on my review page! Now, just to clarify things, I just said I like Sanjaya-- he\'s a likeable person. I didn\'t say I think he should win! Just like how I like creamed corn, but I wouldn\'t pick it if I could only pick one kind of food! ^_^

 
Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 04/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Not A Loyal Slave In The World

ZOMG!!!!111eleven!!!112!!!otherbadpunctuation!!!

The Blog is back, complete with squid intesines, Lucius doing yoga (much to the fangirl's delight), a cheese fork, and really bad analogies! I proclaim it funnier as Sanjaya Malakar's singing, though not even one 27th as gawd-awful. In fact, not even a 1000th. YOU are the next MNFF Idol! *jangly background music*

For those of us who live in reality instead of reality TV, it's awesome. Even the shrubs agree.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you! This review made me laugh out loud. Talked to those shrubs lately? Oh, and by the way *guilty smile* I kind of like Sanjaya. Not so much that I actually vote on American Idol or rant about it or tell people that he\'s actually good, but I do have a soft spot for him. He\'s so unassuming!

 
Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 05/02/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Enter The OC. Dramatically.

It's here! Well, ok, it's been here a while. But I read it! I would have read it sooner, but I'm a loser and I forgot to put it on my my favorites list.

So yeah, it was really, really funny. NAGINI has to be my favorite of "your" characters. I may or may not actually be sad when Harry kills HER in book 7. The revolving door jokes were great. And the shoes. And everything. My only complaint is that Mungo is really not as obnoxious and Stu-ish as he he should be. Sorry, but he isn't even Harry's long-lost evil twin or anything!

By the the way, I saw Smolderin' Volders' favorite singer on Idol the other night. (Yes, i'm bringing up reality TV in a review AGAIN. Stop laughing.) That totally should have been in the blog. (Not that it wasn't near perfect anyway.) I started laughing and my sister was like, "What's so funny about Josh Groban?" I can't wait TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THAT GORGEOUS SNAKE, NAGINI.

Author's Response: Thank you! What a marvelous review. Yeah, I love Nagini. I could never kill her-- that\'s why I had her survive through the de-Horcruxing in Dark Lord\'s Blog. As for Mungo, I want him to be a somewhat sympathetic character because of what happens later in the story, He\'s not a total Stu! Myesss, I did see The Josh on TV, and I remember thinking, Volders wishes he\'d seen this!

 

Summary: WARNING! This story contains a jingle-bell antler headband, a shower of potatoes, boy/girl mushiness, underwear karaoke, family trouble, an excessively adorable werewolf, death, the song "Werewolves of London," betrayal, and the word 'Jordan' five times in a row near the beginning of chapter seven.


Twenty-one years after Voldemort's defeat, five fourth-years are faced with a new threat. Will all of the five stay true to the light side? Will they all emerge whole in the end? Will Jordan Potter ever get a life? You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gasp, you'll sigh! Part one in a trilogy!


Well, after much deliberation and consideration, I've decided to submit my future-gen trilogy! This particular installment is three years old, so it's definitely different from my current writing style, but I'm quite fond of the characters.


DH is disregarded. It's a total coincidence that one of the main characters is named Ted Lupin.


Starring Quicksilver Quills 2008 Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, and Emma Weasley, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin!

Five times nominated (once for each member of Potter's Pentagon!) for the Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards, and nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards...


Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 45143 Chapters: 10 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/18/07 Updated: 10/03/07


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 06/29/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which The Stage Is Set

Well, well. This is certaintyly vastly different from yur other works. you konw, I've always been a huge fan of yours, so I was very interested in what yu were going to do with a genre such as next--gen.

Almost by definition, next-gen fics are cliched and dare I say, boring. I was hopeful as soon as I saw that you had chosen NOT to name Harry and Ginny's children after someone who had died in the second war. But then- well...

Harry and Malfoy's children had become friends. The "sextet" was neatly paired up- unlikely, especially since at least one or two of them would have died in the second war. And worst of all- a new Dark wizard to rival Voldemort? Draco? I'm sorry, but his magical powers just do not measure up against Voldy or even Snape.

Now I know you wrote this a few years ago, and nobody's what you'd call brilliant at twelve or thirteen. But I do hope you just had a rough start, and that it gets better. You have some rather intersting charcters here- I'd like to see what you can do with them.

Author's Response: HPwizzard-- I totally understand. I wrote this story before I even knew fanfiction existed, and I got too used to it to it to make plot changes. Ohhh, yeah-- and Draco definitely does not rival Voldemort. He\'s more of a... wannabe than anything else. But thank you for the criticism... and I do think it gets better, even if it is rather cliched and predictable!

 

Waiting for the Moon by Kerichi
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 339]

Summary:

Giant spiders, malevolent bats, wizard scouts...werewolves. Tonks finds life in Hogsmeade far from simple, while Remus discovers having a partner in touch with her inner wolf complicates his mission and his heart.








Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations

Word count: 118277 Chapters: 32 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/06/07 Updated: 01/23/09


Reviewer: HPwizzzard Signed
Date: 08/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Separated and Waiting

Well, you writing is as flawless as ever. ;D I'm very eager to see what you do with DH... because after that plotline, the only thing that will get me to like R/T again is one of your stories.

Author's Response: Honestly, without giving away spoilers, I thought while reading that \"Jo didn\'t think enough about secondary characterization. Tonks and Remus always walked onstage, told Harry things, and then exited stage left. They weren\'t her main characters, so Jo didn\'t show their lives, but I will!\" :D (humble as ever)

 
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