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Masked One [Contact]
01/16/05






+ Slytherin
+ Rarepair Fan
+ Hermione/Snape
+ Harry/Luna
+ Snape/Lily
+ Neville/Nott
+ AU Writer

With Deathly Hallows over and the spoiler ban lifted I’m looking at my fic with an eye towards bringing them into compliance with the new canon. With that in mind I’ve gone through and marked the hopeless ones with a ‘DH Disregarded’ warning.

That’s left me with two stories.

Textures of Darkness will continue. It’s fully canon compliant, and I’ve tentatively planned a sequel set in Hogwarts during Deathly Hallows.

A Wolf That One Hears is currently on hold, but I have every intention of continuing it when I can update more regularly.


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Stories by Masked One [8]
Favorite Authors [7]
Favorite Stories [4]
Masked One's Favorites [11]
Reviews by Masked One


A Single Step by Seren

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Harry muses about what kind of person he'd be if he wasn't the Boy-Who-Lived. Hermione and Luna think he wouldn't be any different. Harry wants to change the world. Hermione and Luna show him how.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/16/05 Title: Chapter 1: N/A (One-Shot)

I love the way you portray Luna. You manage to capture her rather difficult personality perfectly. I also liked the little things you mentioned about who was doing what on the Hogwarts grounds at night, and the way you mixed mirth and seriousness into the conversation between the friends. This scene really rings true, as though it could actually happen in the HP world--good job!



Crossing the Board by Seren

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: There have always been arguments over which piece of the board is the most powerful. Most will say the Queen; she can mimic any move, take any square. Others will say the King; despite his limited mobility, the entire point is to protect your king and capture your opponents. It is the center piece of the game. There are any number of arguments for five of the pieces. The last piece, or pieces, are often neglected. They are the front line, the first defence, and the first to fall. All but one. And Ron must see it to the other side.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/16/05 Title: Chapter 1: Crossing the Board

Your writing is very poetic. I always fall for repetition--in this case, the little lines telling the pieces where to move. Your descriptions of Hermione and Harry through Ron’s eyes are very interesting. I’m not a very big fan of Ron, but I’ll admit that you did a wonderful job with him here.



Hermione's Scrapbook by Seren

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: There is darkness that envelopes the world. It shrouds us and keeps us from ever seeing even what's in front of our noses. But for every Hitler, Grindelwald, Attila the Hun and Voldemort, Fate gives us a person to light a candle to shatter the darkness. Hermione Granger knows a hero when she sees one. Sometimes, you just have to look a little deeper.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/16/05 Title: Chapter 1: Hermione's Scrapbook

How do you manage to pack so many emotions into one short little one-shot? This is the third story of yours I’ve read in a row, and I feel like I should be floating or something--too much good characterizations and well written friendship. You’re making me happy against my will here! I’m giving up trying to say something coherent, so you’ll have to deal with this instead.



Molly & Arthur - The Beginning by GringottsVault711

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: It's Molly Prewett's fifth year - and her and the lovable-but-odd Arthur Weasley have been made Gryffindor Prefects. Molly begins to wonder if there's more to the way Arthur feels about her than she's ever realized.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 03/31/05 Title: Chapter 1: Prefects & Fellytones

This is the first piece of your writing that I’ve read, so I’ll comment on your writing style first. It’s clear and easy to read, though it has an occasional bump in it. It seems to be your characters that really bring this story to life, which brings me to my next point. I disagree with Josh. Their older selves are reflected quite clearly in the teenagers you present here-- almost too clearly in fact. I like Molly a lot-- her kindness towards Arthur through his bumbling and her defense of him is very IC, as is the fact that she only gets angry at the thought of him (oh, the horror!) breaking rules. We do know from the books the Molly was a bit of a troublemaker herself though (love potion, mentioned in POA), so you might be overplaying that part a bit. I’ll see how that works out in later chapters.

You fit many references to small future things in here, like Molly’s dislike of long hair. The fellytone bugs me, though. It was Ron’s mistake in the books, and I think it’s one of those fanfiction clichés that people have latched on to.

I’m rather ambivalent about Maeve as a character. I haven’t seen enough of her to get a good feeling for her, so she seems almost fake. Having read this story before, I can say that she gets better in later chapters. But in this one she is just a bit flat.



Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 03/31/05 Title: Chapter 2: Chattings About Children

I had the impression that Moody was older than Molly and Arthur by quite a bit, that Lucius was slightly younger, and that Narcissa had been to school during the Marauders’ times. Since this is a story of fluff, fluff, and more fluff, I won’t harp on the point, but let it be noted.

Maeve has solidified in my mind as a good character put a truly unpleasant person. Her disdain of Arthur really makes a point; he gets that treatment from many people his entire life, and yet he doesn’t let it bother him. It subtly reminds the reader that even though he’s a lovesick fool and an oddball, he really does have a strong character. I’m glad you’ve put that into the story, because otherwise Arthur’s surface foolishness would seem degrading.

Shane reminds me too much of Sirius. When I read him I always feel like we’re seeing a slightly different version of the same character, and I don’t like that. Whether you did this intentionally or not, it comes off poorly to the critical reader.

The short exchange about children was perfect. It really shows how they end up as their future selves, and once there, how they mange to take being poor. The fact that everyone else was shocked and rather disdainful served to underline that Molly and Arthur really are a good match. I’m loving this story.



Memories by Fredslover

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Lupin has a dream about a night at Hogwarts that changed his life...
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/16/05 Title: Chapter 2: The Muaruders

There are a couple of spelling errors--I noticed the ones in the second chapter, but there might be ones in the first chapter also. I liked the idea of a potion to help with the initial Animagus transformation, and I thought the scene with the werewolf playing with the other animals was very touching. Nice Fic!



Late-Night Antics by FlooCrookshanks

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Snape chasing Fawkes, drunken parties in Gryffindor Tower, marigolds, cats, phoenix poo, floo powder, Dumbledore's false teeth, and eyeballs. Discover the bizarre events you never knew happened at Hogwarts!
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 1: Who Let the Fawkes Out?

I went looking over here in the humor section for some good laughs, and I found them! This was wonderfully entertaining. I especially loved Filch--he was IC and very amusing. Watching Snape attempt to keep his dignity in such a ridiculous situation was absolutely hilarious, and you wrote him well enough that I could actually imagine that was how he’d react. Fawkes’s ‘present’ was slightly predictable, but funny all the same. It does make me wonder, though…does phoenix poop have any magical characteristics? Maybe it doesn’t come off….

Author's Response: Thank you for your reveiw; it really perked me up today! :D I'm pleased to finally have some comments on the characters, as I sort of just went with my instincts with both this chapter *and* Let's Floo Crookshanks. I'm guessing your question about the phoenix poo was answered in the next chapter? *grin* Your idea is a good one, though. It's made me consider a new discovery for the poo in each chapter *insert thoughtful smiley here* Thanks again VERY much for your review!!



Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 2: Let's Floo Crookshanks!

Funny, in character, and well written. I haven’t laughed this hard over a story for ages. Snape is dead on perfect. Shampoo---who would of thought that the solution to Snape’s greasy hair was that simple ;). I want to see more of Filch…and that sign….and things coming randomly out of the Floo. But I’m a patient person, and the title of your next chapter was enough to get me laughing at the possibilities. Good story, good humor, and good fun!

Author's Response: Again, thank you very much for your wonderful review that made me smile like a complete dork. *grin* Dumbledore's False Teeth has been laying unfinished on my hard drive for months, but you have very much inspired me to go and finish it right now. There are a couple of knks that are bothering me, hence why I keep wanting to throw it in the air and let horny Hippogriffs have their way with it. I'll definitely keep your wishes in mind for the next (and future) chapters. I'm glad it made you laugh!



Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 02/27/05 Title: Chapter 3: Dumbledore's False Teeth

You know how long I’ve been waiting for this chapter…..and I now pronounce it worth the wait. The references back to the first two chapters were great--particularly the book that Snape was reading, the Return of the Sign, and broken-nosed Hufflepuffs. Everyone was still very IC. I assume Dumbledore was controlling his teeth throughout this chapter? That was perfect.

Author's Response: I'm thoroughly glad it was worth the wait. I already have ideas for the next chapter, and I hope the wait isn't as long this time. Thank you so much for your patience and kind words; they really brighten up my day! P.S. Yes, Dumbledore was controlling them. ;) Naughty, naughty man.



Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 02/19/05 Title: Chapter 2: Let's Floo Crookshanks!

I was just wondering if you were still planning on posting the next chapter. I keep checking back, and I don't want to do that if I can't expect Dumbledore's False Teeth soon.

Author's Response: Thanks to your little push here, I've spent the last two days solidly polishing up DFT and whizzing it past my beta. Thank you SO MUCH for hanging in there! It's appreciated like you wouldn't believe. Thanks to you, I was motivated to finish the next part. I truly hope you enjoy it! It's been submitted, so it should be up in the next couple of days. :) Again, many many thanks.



The Confessions of Lord Voldemort by Master Wolf

Rated:
Summary: A look at how Voldemort really feels.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One

While I liked the general idea for this (and would love to see it extend to other characters) I do think it could have been done better. I like stories that have some tie-in to cannon and which keep the characters more IC. I know that Voldemort had to be childish for the sake of this story, but events and other characters could be used to tie it in a bit. Still, the story was good for a quick laugh, and judging by your other reviews, more than a quick laugh to a lot of people, so good job!



Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 2: The Further Confessions

This chapter was much better. It was so far removed from reality that I stopped caring if it was connected to canon, and I loved the ending. *tosses galleons into the fund* I also liked Salazar’s three chambers, good job with that one. And the quill…and Rita’s quick appearance.



What Would The Marauder's Map Say..? by Chimera

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It has brutalized the brutalizers. It had showed us the ways around passageways. It had brought smiles and has abashed many. The essence of Moony,Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs still resides within the tattered folds. Who shall they meet next? How shall the Marauder's Map insult all?
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 1: Dudley's Deranged Encounter

I’ve often wondered what the Marauder’s Map would say to various people…and now I can find out. I think the present tense worked very well for the story, and the comments were just the sort of things the marauder’s would have said. I rarely beg for authors to continue their work, but I’m going to now--please tell us what the Map says to others!



The Confessions Of Severus Snape by Master Wolf

Rated:
Summary: And now, the smash-hit comedy sequel you've all been waiting for, featuring the other guy you all love to hate!
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 1: The Confessions Of Severus Snape

I think my favorite thing from your stories (and they should continue--they are funny) is the Quick Quotes Quill. Surprisingly, I actually like the cow joke too. Snape (unlike Voldemort) probably could have been written IC and still have been funny. If you ever choose to write Snape again, a lot of people see him as having very dry, sarcastic humor, a shot of which wouldn’t go poorly amongst the randomness of your stories. Still laughing, though, and I’d like to request one of these from Dudley’s POV.



Of Rats and Drainpipes by Loki MM

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It all started when the Slytherin Quidditch captain threw a curse at Peter, who transformed and hid. In the sink of the third-floor boys bathroom. And got stuck. It's up to the other three Marauders to get him out. COMPLETE
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 1: Um ... of Rats and Drainpipes

*laughs* Very nice. And look at the marauders going about their day to day business---how to get into as much trouble as possible, and get out of it again without getting caught. I found it funny, and I thought the image of the three boys standing around staring down the drain after their best friend was funny. I also thought the ideas they came up with to get him out were quite interesting and very realistic--overall, it was both humorous and believable, a hard combination to achieve.



Splat, Split, Splinch by Nundu

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: What happens when two wizards Apparate to the same place at the same time?
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/26/05 Title: Chapter 1: Splat, Split, Splinch

Very original, entirely plausible, perfectly IC, and completely funny. You get one of my very rare 10s for writing a humor fic that wasn’t at all AU, OOC, or just completely random. I love it!



Warrior by GwendolynJames

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: I knew that this was the beginning of her life – the birth of a warrior queen.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 05/20/05 Title: Chapter 1: Warrior

There are two parts to this story: Molly and Ginny. I’ll address them as separately as possible, just so this review makes some sort of sense.

Molly first, then. By not mentioning her name, you placed her in the role of narrator. It focused the story more towards Ginny, and allowed the reader to slide over Molly to some extent. However, there were a few rough points there. I think the Molly presented here has too much of a bias towards Ginny, and not enough attention for her other children. She loves the boys dearly, and I don’t see her ‘blowing them off’ as much as she seems to in parts of this. Furthermore, there is a bit of a contradiction near the beginning. It sounds as though Molly wants a ‘girly girl.’ Why, then, does she name the child after a warrior queen? And why doesn’t she express even a passing disappointment when Ginny does all the things that annoy Molly when the boys do them?

Those points aside, Molly is well done. She sounds very much like a mother who cares dearly about her child. Her pride is so well justified, and perfectly tinged with worry. You did a wonderful job capturing that combination of emotions.

Ginny. Your portrayal of her as more of a tomboy was spot on. I really liked how you filled in the times between when Harry sees her. The passing comments of tea parties and shopping trips during her last year at home were sweet. And you justified her sudden appearance in Harry’s life during OOTP, where she seems to come out of nowhere. Her attempted strength at the end was spot on.

Nice fic. I look forward to reading more of your stories.



Determination by Seren

Rated:
Summary: Back and forth. Back and forth. I rock myself as hard as I can, bashing my body against the sturdy oak doors of my prison. It hurts badly; every time I slam my body against the doors, splinters break off into my already bruised and scratched skin. But back and forth, back and forth, I will rock. Every time I smash into the doors, they weaken slightly. And every weak crack spiderwebbing against the doors is one step closer to freedom. Four girls are held hostage by Death Eater. But they have a plan.
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 01/24/05 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

I think this is my favorite story of yours so far. The entire story rings with the determination, self confidence, and power of these four girls. The Hogwarts Houses stand united---and I truly admire your ability to show so much power in such a short piece of writing. I disagree with the other reviewers though--you shouldn’t make a sequel You said everything that needed to be said and ended it right where you needed too--giving us enough information, but not too much. You might want to fix this bit though; “the shadows of four girls slowly being to creep through.” I think you meant begin, not being.



by

Rated:
Summary:
Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 02/09/05 Title: None

Oh, wow! Where to start?

I suppose your writing style would be the logical place, since it was the first thing I noticed. It is very distinctive and interesting--I think you have a nice voice as an author. There’s just enough flavor there to make for interesting reading, without overwhelming the reader. There’s a lot of personality there, and I really like it. I didn’t notice any grammar errors, per se, but there were a few places with odd word order. I’m slightly ashamed to say that I didn’t stop to quote them.

I think this is a very original plot idea. Depending on the direction it takes, I might find myself very enthralled with it. This might be a good fic to use for discussion in SPEW if you feel comfortable volunteering it--the originality could spark some interesting conversations.

This chapter was very well paced as well--interesting and descriptive both.

My one piece of con-crit, if you can call it that, was that I didn’t get a very good feel for the characters in this chapter. I get the feeling that it might have been done intentionally, but it still left me feeling as though I was trying to read an Occlumens. It made me slightly less than sympathetic with the Auror, though I am very intrigued with the criminal.



Reviewer: Masked One Signed
Date: 02/09/05 Title: None

I am now thoroughly intrigued! Your plot is very exciting, and has already grasped hold of me and pulled me in. Nice job with developing it and bringing it along. I get the feeling that this is going to be a very good story without pesky loose ends or random things thrown into the middle, because everything seems laid out nicely. It reminds me of professional work I’ve seen.

I especially want to compliment the way you’ve created the world. It is very realistic and unique, but at the same time it ties into the Potterverse. I think you’ve done a wonderful job with setting. The building is wonderful and very believable.

I’m still having a hard time with your main character, though I’m beginning to get a better feel for him. I don’t emphasize with him, and I can’t read him. I don’t feel like I can guess what he’s going to do at all, or what he thinks….it could be I’m missing something that’s already there. I’m not paying as much attention as I should.