All's fair in love and war
Lily thinks herself too clever to fall for James Potters charm. Yet, as the two of them are appointed Head Boy and Girl, will Lily regret her negative feelings towards James? Pre-HBP
Not bad. You have quite a few grammatical errors and whatnot, but that's obviously not what someone wants to hear in a review. I had a lot of difficulty believing this story. You've made it incredibly modern; thongs, the language, etc. You need to remember that the Marauders went to school during the 1970s. The way of talking and clothing would not be as it is today. I think you've done a wonderful job with the emotions, and you had some funny moments in there, definitely some things the Marauders would say. However, the relationship between Lily and James was a bit off for me. You moved them too fast, I think. There wasn't really a transition period. You have Lily upset over James dating Maimee when she says she hates him, and then the next moment, she's confessing her love for him. I don't think she'd confess her love for him immediately. Definitely not before they start dating. She'd date him because she liked him, but I don't think she could feel love for him, not yet anyway. What has he done for her, to her, to make her love him? Just my two cents.
Lily Evans has always pushed guys away, keeping her distance away from heartbreak. If she never got too attatched, she would never get hurt.
Yet, James Potter refuses to be pushed away. Will he be the one to actually tear down Lily's walls that separate them?
Wow, what a surprising ending. I really thought that she'd ask James. Personally, I feel as though you're pacing your story a bit too fast. But again, that's just my personal opinion. You're making Sirius a bit too confusing for my tastes. I mean, the conversations with Lily and things. They're too open to one another, especially since they aren't really friends. You've done an excellent job with Lily's friends, though. You've made each of them different, in some way, and none of them are Mary-Sues. I hope you update soon. I'll be sure to look out for more of this story and see how Lily digs herself out of this one.
Summary: In the beginning of the Christmas holidays, Sirius Black runs away from home and will not return for twenty years. A warning for mild language.
I read this when it was featured and added it to my favorites but I had yet the time to review it, so here I am now. :) I've already written my own particular version of the events, somewhat, that led up to Sirius running away from his family. But if I were to rewrite it, I wish it would be more like this. This story is flawless in its telling of Sirius' life prior to him leaving and what caused him to do so. The constant repetition of red and green, the colors he deserves and the colors he should have gained, equally add to his struggle with his place in both Hogwarts as well as his family. The descriptions are lovely and everything just fits so wonderfully. Thank you for writing such a fantastic piece. :)