Not bad. You have quite a few grammatical errors and whatnot, but that's obviously not what someone wants to hear in a review. I had a lot of difficulty believing this story. You've made it incredibly modern; thongs, the language, etc. You need to remember that the Marauders went to school during the 1970s. The way of talking and clothing would not be as it is today. I think you've done a wonderful job with the emotions, and you had some funny moments in there, definitely some things the Marauders would say. However, the relationship between Lily and James was a bit off for me. You moved them too fast, I think. There wasn't really a transition period. You have Lily upset over James dating Maimee when she says she hates him, and then the next moment, she's confessing her love for him. I don't think she'd confess her love for him immediately. Definitely not before they start dating. She'd date him because she liked him, but I don't think she could feel love for him, not yet anyway. What has he done for her, to her, to make her love him? Just my two cents.

I read this when it was featured and added it to my favorites but I had yet the time to review it, so here I am now. :) I've already written my own particular version of the events, somewhat, that led up to Sirius running away from his family. But if I were to rewrite it, I wish it would be more like this. This story is flawless in its telling of Sirius' life prior to him leaving and what caused him to do so. The constant repetition of red and green, the colors he deserves and the colors he should have gained, equally add to his struggle with his place in both Hogwarts as well as his family. The descriptions are lovely and everything just fits so wonderfully. Thank you for writing such a fantastic piece. :)