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Reviews by invisible sanctuary

Oblivious by Pallas

Summary: What if there were more to Remus Lupin's bite than a badly timed stroll in the woods? The arrival of a feral invokes secrets of the past and terror for the present...
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 11/02/06 Title: Chapter 14: Family Ties Part 2

Wow...I so did not notice the Kane/Abel as Cain/Abel thing until just now! Very subtle and unexpected. There is so much that I like that I don't even know where to start. This is definitely going on my faves.

The Baby's Got A Secret by katherinegrace

Rated: Professors •
Summary: A Draco/Ginny fic in the view of, mainly, the trio...Ginny's got a secret, and the trio's determined to find out what it is...Rated for profanity in later chapters. Chapter 1: The trio discusses Plan A. IMPORTANT UPDATE MADE IN AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END OF CHAPTER 18. PLEASE READ!
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 11/12/06 Title: Chapter 18: Until Now

I would very much like to read the rest of the story. Please e-mail me at tasha0124@gmail.com. Thank you!

What if...? by Werewolf_sympathiser

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: A short one shot that looks at the alternative life of Lily Evans.

I'm really sorry but I've decided to leave this as a one shot. Thanks for reading :)

Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: Witch? Nah, you must be after my sister.

I noticed that you said that you aren't adding on to this story, but I really like your ideas for this story and I wanted to comment. I've never actually read a story where Lily wasn't magical. It seems to me that you take the point of view that Lily's magic shapes a great deal of her personality and Petunia's lack of magic shapes a great deal of her own. At first, I didn't quite like this idea, since it slightly diminishes the importances of choices, but you won me over in the end. Lily's life as a Muggle is much more magical than Petunia's and this does demonstrate the courage and compassion that I think is inherent in Lily and stifled in Petunia. I do have a few recommendations, though. It would probably be more effective to make the structure more consistent. The "When Lily was..." is a good way to show brief flashes of her life, but it feels very separate from the story of how Lily and Remus met. I would also like it if you could keep the level of detail more consistent, rather than it falling off at the end. For instance, we know that Lily's family is hugely important to her, so it would be nice to hear more details about her children. I think that you had a really neat concept here and you pulled it off well, since I'm definitely left wishing for more!
-invisible santuary
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thanks :) The reason i didn\'t continue with the format was that my other one shots were only drabble length and therefore not long eoguh to be posted. I have had lotsd of comments about the lack of detail and I thought it would add a sort of use your own imagination kinda thing to it...I also wrote it at about 2am lol But things such as the death of Petunia were meant to be short and sharp hence there isn\'t much to it. Thanks for taking the time to review! :)

Thousands Say Farewell by megan_lupin

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: “In the past few years, ever since the strength of darkness grew to a power few have ever seen, families have mourned lost loved ones in great quantities. Yesterday was no exception as thousands gathered to pay their own respects to a departed soul.”

A young girl discovers an old mahogany chest filled with an assortment of objects, one of which is an old copy of the Daily Prophet. Intrigued, she begins to read the article, and discovers that the content hits closer to her heart than she originally thought it would.

Written for the "One-Shot Daily Prophet Challenge" by megan_lupin of Gryffindor.

Edit: Received Third Place!
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Thousands Say Farewell

First of all, I have to say that I love the beginning. It seems almost sepia-toned with all the browns and blacks and then you're thrust right into this vibrant present of white walls and red hair. Great job there! You don't even need to be told that it was a flashback because of that great imagery. I have to take issue with you, however, with the newspaper article. It didn’t really seem like a newspaper article. Instead, it read a lot like a letter to the editor. It seems unlikely that a journalist would explicitly speculate over how many people were there for Harry Potter and how many were there for the Boy-Who-Lived. If you wish to keep it as an article, it might be more effective to imply this like you do when the journalist states that less people would have come if the weather were dismal. I also like the description of the service, which seemed more objective than many of the earlier parts of the article. I love the outside observation of the difference between Ginny and Hermione. It lends support to the idea that Ginny would lock away her memories of Harry’s death. I think you did a great job with this and I hope to read more of your stories.
invisible sanctuary
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thank you a lot for the wonderful review, invisible sanctuary. I\'m thrilled that you liked the beginning; the entire story really sort of grew out of that one, clear image that I had in my head of the chest and such.

Anyway, I see what you mean about the article; it isn\'t very separated, in the sense that a journalistic report would be, and emotions get in that probably would best be left out. My main reason for doing so was as such: Whenever one has a fantastic leader or someone of great importance, there\'s those 4-page length articles where people sort of remember and such (I know, a lousy explanation). That type of thing was sort of what I was going towards -- more like a magazine reflection than a CNN news report.

But as I didn\'t specifically mention that it WAS written by a journalist, you can always imagine that it was written by someone who had close ties to Harry (like Luna ;)

Okay, I\'m rambling now, but once again, thank you so much for the review. I\'m extremely thrilled that you liked the story, as this is one of my favourites.


Epilogues, Part II: The Eighth Year by Grimmrook

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: *Nominated for 2006 Annual Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Original Character in reference to Rathius Ratbone*

It is Ginny's last year at Hogwarts, and the lessons she will learn are not restricted to books and classes. As she struggles to hold onto that which she holds most dear, the youngest Weasley will come to learn much about love, friendship, and herself.

This is the fifth story in the Epilogues story arc. If this is the first of my stories you have sat down to read, please read Right Here, One Good Day, and Epilogues Part I prior to reading this fic.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 10/28/06 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Enemies at the Gates

I love this twist! This may just be my randomness speaking, but Colin's not going to get together with Romilda or Cho is he? You said that you had something special planned for him...
On a completely different note, I just read Everybody Does It and I was wondering when are you going to bring in Harry and Ginny's children? They seem like really interesting characters....I especially want to know why they named their son Tom since that was Voldemort's name....I hope there's no connection there! Anyways, just wanted to say that I love your stories!

Author's Response: Colin getting with Romilda or Cho... Hmmmmmmmmmm maybe... seriously... I\'m not giving it away just yet, you\'ll have to wait and see. I will tell you this, it will be in the final chapter. Unless I opt to split the final chapter into two chapters, in which case it will be the first of the two. As for Dennis and Tom, we\'re going to see them in Part III. And yes, Tom is named after Voldemort, sort of. really, in the stories the best place to understand why is in chapter for of Part I. Unfortunately, we won\'t see Molly unless I finally decide to write the series I have planned after part III, which I\'m still undecided on, and if we do, she\'ll be far too young to be an important character (she\'s about ten years younger than Tom, give or take. Thank you so much for the review.

Living With What's Done by Hermione_Rocks

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Ever since HBP and the famous interview with Jo conducted by Emerson and Melissa, there have been thousands of ideas and fics about Severus Snape and Lily Evans having some sort of romance. But Lily wasn't the only female in Snape's life...nor is the only type of love the romantic kind.

This is the story of someone else who has a connection with Severus, and how they have been, and still are, affected by him: Selena Snape, his sister.

"But I did...and I'm living with it. Because that's what we do...live with what we've done, live with our mistakes, the life we've made for ourselves."
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 10/29/06 Title: Chapter 11: Long Ago Acceptance And Apologies

The most interesting interpretation of Snape and his family that I've ever read...you're on my favorites!

Author's Response: I\'m flattered, thank you so much! :)

A Multicolored Bloom of Possibility by self named harry potter freak

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Starting from that dreadful day at Dumbledore's funeral, Ginny has been endlessly waiting to see Harry again. Two years pass without word and Ginny starts to lose faith that Harry will ever come back to her, since he has not done so since the fall of Voldemort. Then an unexpected visitor arrives at Ginny's new flat, causing all Ginny thought she knew to be put into question.

So Sorry about the huge and inexcuseable wait for chappie 5. It's in the queue now 8/19/07.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 03/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Winter Ends

Wow...I love the extended metaphor. I love all the little moments where you bring that in. You've obviously put a lot of thought into the structure of the story and I really appreciate that. There was one paragraph that bothered me just a little bit. The paragraph where you mention the deaths of Luna and Dennis seems to have a lot of awkward phrasing. For instance, you repeat just in the sentence about Dennis Creevy. Maybe you want to take another look at that paragraph. (I might just be a little bit bitter that you killed Luna, one of my favorite characters.) I love how you have Ginny remember little things like how different parts of Harry's body fits into hers. It's very realistic and well-done. The story is very well-done so far and you set it up well in this chapter. Looking forward to your next update!
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review, and with suggestions too! It\'s always the highlight of my day when I get a thorough review such as yours, and I will definately take another look at that paragraph. Thanks so much!

A Crossroad Above by guiding ray of sunlight

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The story of Nick's journey to ghostism.

Written for the challenge by Evenescence17's challenge in the I Challenge Thee- Gryffendor Style thread.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Crossroad Above

I was just wondering…did you read the actual story of Nearly Headless Nick’s death? JKR posted it on her website under “Extra Stuff – Characters.” If you haven’t, then I’m impressed, since it fits very well with her story. I do like your emphasis of the ax coming down on his head several times. The characterization of Nick seems a little inconsistent at parts, however. At first, he seems almost like a Ravenclaw who would feel better about the situation if he only had more information. You do a nice job establishing Nick as a Gryffindor after this part, however, by showing the rashness of his decision to return back to Earth and the comfort that he takes from seeing his body again. (It always struck me in the books that the comforts of home and friends are a major motivation for Gryffindors and I like how you capture that with Nick’s thirst and hunger.) Perhaps you can include some of this earlier in the piece? I love how the shock of having his head fall to the side causes him to realize that his life as a ghost will not be the same for him. Great job overall!

Author's Response: Actually, I did not read it...I\'ll check it out...As for his characterisation, he isn\'t exactly a consistant character in canon (at least the way I see it) his mood swings might not be as bad a myrtle\'s, but he still has them. So I decided they were flashes of him at defferent stages of his life... Anyway, I\'m glad you liked it :) Thanks for the review! ~Sunray

Alone by BeautyInTheBreakdown

Rated: Professors •
Summary: How could one night change a life so drastically? Something as simple as choosing to take a walk could ruin a life forever.

Nell is a fifth year at Hogwarts, but she's not like the rest. She's been through more than most could even dream up.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 03/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Wind's Whisper

Your characterization of Nell is fantastic! I can completely relate to her wanting a long walk alone. You pace the chapter well too: it transitions quickly between the main events while still being very detailed. There is one somewhat nitpicky thing that I wanted to point out. The fifth paragraph is a little bit disjointed. Nell goes from hearing a twig snap to realizing that she lost her wand to thinking that the twig snap must have been from an animal. It's a little bit hard to follow, although it is a realistic thought process. It's easy to see that she is beginning to panic. I really wanted to compliment you on your imagery in this chapter. The bit about the green and silver on the mansion is so vivid that I have to guess that Tom Riddle is the rapist (although Snape seems to be popular. Personally, I'm hoping that you took a page out of JKR's book and are using him as a decoy.) I also love the bit about the tears and blood mingling. Morbid maybe, but it sticks in my mind like nothing else. I can't wait to see Nell open up a bit more in the next chapters (to Remus, I hope!)
-invisible sanctuary
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Thank you for such a great review!

Color of Betrayal by dnd_lady

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: How could Wormtail bring himself to betray his friends? What will it bring down upon him? Does he deserve it?
This and more pondered in another quirky poem by yours truly and her wonderful beta, Bubbles.
*generally triambic pentameter (like anyone cares)
*strong end rhyme
*consistent rhyme scheme
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 03/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Color of Betrayal

I really enjoyed the poem. I had to read it a few times to really get the images into my head, but I do like your images very much. I'm a little confused over the line "rogue's red charade." I have a couple different ideas over what that could mean. At first, I thought maybe you were refering to Pettigrew masquerading as a Gryffindor, but then I started thinking about the centaurs and I got another idea. Were you thinking of the bit about Mars being extremely bright in SS? I like your incorporation of other "betrayers." At first, I didn't quite like that you included Brutus and Cassius, but now that I think of the story, it works well. I like the idea that Pettigrew is trying to convince himself that he is as principled as Brutus and Cassius and sacrificing his friends for a worthy cause (survival) but he is no more than a Judas (selling them out for silver). I also like the quotes that you included at the end. For some reason, the part about the "partridge and fox and squirrel and mole" reminds me of the Marauders. Very interesting poem and very well thought-out.
Knight of the Turnip Table

To Walk a Mile by Thoth

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A series of short vignettes featuring some of our favorite (and not so favorite) minor characters.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/11/07 Title: Chapter 2: A Crown of Daisies, Luna Lovegood

I love the bookend-y endings! It was a very punch-in-the-gut type feeling. I like your Goyle very much. I can easily imagine him having all these private mini-rebellions against Draco (preferring Daphne over Pansy, pointing out that at lunchtime he was supposed to be at the Great Hall, etc.) It's a bit sad how he kind of molds back into Crabbe-and-Goyle at the end and it shows how he falls back into his pattern rather than making a choice. This vignette was incredibly effective IMO. The second one is also well-done, but Luna almost seems a bit too mature. I can picture her saying the majority of the dialouge in the books. This may just be because of Luna's character in the books seems very childish, but you have to remember that her mother's death did have a huge effect on her. She's old enough for the death of her mother to "sink in" (in JKR's words). It is still a very appropriate response for her directly following her mother's death. I think you did an amazing job with these two characters and I look forward to reading the next one!
-invisible sanctuary
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: I made Luna six in that because I had started writing that a very loong time ago (one day when I was sick in bed and unable to check the Lexicon) so I didn\'t know off the top of my head her age, so I made her 6.I just decided to keep her that way I guess. Thank you very much for the lovely review:)

One Man's Traitor by Eponine

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: One man’s traitor is another man’s savior. Peter must choose to be the Order’s meek tool or the Dark Lord’s valuable assistant. A Peter Pettigrew character study.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/19/07 Title: Chapter 1: One Man's Traitor

Great job with Peter's characterization! Your description of Voldemort is great also-makes him sound just like a snake! I had to reread this so many times just to catch all the amazing little details like your foreshadowing of Peter's silver hand. I also really like how "One man's traitor is another man's savior" can be taken to describe how the Death Eaters searched for Peter after Voldemort's "death". I'm in awe of how you packed so much into so few words!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! I had a lot of fun including the little details.

Oh wow, I hadn\'t even noticed that it would also mean post-Voldemort\'s fall!Peter also! How clever of you to notice that!

Thanks so much for your review!


The Last Dance of Rowena Ravenclaw by Zara Ravenwood

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Title: The Last Dance of Rowena Ravenclaw

Author name : Both here and the forum Zara Ravenwood

House: Gryffindor

Warnings: Character deaths

“They’ve gone; they've gone, they’ve gone away,”

Whispers the echoes in her ear.

But she clings fast to the memories

As if she cannot hear.

Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow...I've never read the story of the founders told this way! I like how you bring in the elements of the houses into it. (Godric and firewhiskey; Salazar and drowning) Rowena reads a bit like Luna. Is that what you intended? There is a quite a bit more to this poem that I orginally realized, and I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed it and appreciate your interesting take on the end of the Founders.
-invisible sanctuary
Knight of the Turnip Table

Carry On Wayward Son by BeautifulDreamer07

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Harry Potter has just lost the last person who stood between him and Voldemort. Dumbledore respresented everything good and worth living for in Harry's life. With him gone, Harry is more alone than he ever thought he could be. Or so he thinks...

A one-shot loosely based around the chorus of the song Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas. It explores Harry's feelings after the events of HBP. Character death is hinted at.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Kansas owns Carry On Wayward Son.
Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 02/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Carry On Wayward Son

Your descriptions are very good! I love how Harry has grey skin and dull green eyes at the beginning (almost Slytherin-ish, which would represent the ultimate despair for Harry). I also like how you did the ending. I love Harry's connection with music there and how the birds' chirping starts his healing. I think Harry's reactions fit very well with his character, especially his reaction to Hermione crying. The only thing that seemed a bit off was Ron's reaction. I don't doubt that he would give Harry a bit of space, but I see him being a bit more assertive when Harry tries to cut himself off. I really enjoyed this!
-invisible sanctuary
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Yea, I realized that about Ron after I wrote it, but ah well. If that\'s the only thing off with my writing then I think I\'m doing pretty good. *grin*. Thanks for your review!

Rendezvous by murgatroid

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Hedwig and Pigwidgeon have a secret! How far will they go to keep it that way? Read to find out more...

A Short but Sweet story

Wow, i just realised that a whole section of Rendezvous has been missing ever since i first posted. This has now been fixed, so if you have already read this, please do again because the extra part is (I think) crucial. Sorry I never realised this untill now :(

Scroll down to the bottom if you dont want to reread, it is the last section of the fanfic

Reviewer: invisible sanctuary Signed
Date: 03/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Very cute! I'm a sucker for forbidden love (my OTP is Draco/Ginny). I love how Hedwig teases Pig and how you portray their relationship as so much more mature than the "frenzied" students on Valentine's Day. I also just love the image of Hedwig sneaking around Harry's room with the Invisibility Cloak. Actually, it just occured to me that Pig and Hedwig in your story are very similar to Ron and Hermione in fanon. Maybe that's why I feel like there should be a little bit more backstory. For instance, (if I remember correctly) it seems like Hedwig and Pig meeting is very similar to Ron and Hermione meeting (Hedwig/Hermione is very uptight and proper and Ron/Pig is messy and chaotic). I think that a lot of this could be fixed by making it a little bit more obvious when this is taking place. (Is this in Harry's seventh year? Do Hedwig and Pig get together before Ron and Hermione or Harry and Ginny?) I'd really like to see what kinds of details that you come up, since you're obviously creative. I hope that you can answer my questions, even if you don't change the story. Thanks!
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Gah!!! You struck upon my secret weapon!! Pig and Hedwig are (at least) partially based on R+H *grins*

RE: back story, i have alot of stuff inmy mind that may or may not ever make it in to a fanfic, but heres the basics - P+H meet at the end of PoA, hate each other immediately. Meet up again begining of GoF, gradually fall in love (the details are non existant at the moment). They realise that their owners (Ron an Harry) would probably react unusually if they found out about their affair and therefore decide to keep it a secret. This fic is set possibly around 7th year, Ron and Hermione are together (obviously), Harry and Ginny aren\'t, because of the events at the end of HBP. I dont know why Harry is at school, i have a feeling that the whole thing is a little AU...

Yeah, i\'ve just decided that its AU. heh.. Sorry about my musing, im really tired :) Feel free to ask more questions, i\'m always ready to try to answer them :D

Author's Response: ok, now i realise why nobody gets the password thing... I didn\'t include it when originally copy and pasting, GAH!

Dont worry peeps, its all fixed now, please go and check the new bit out (its kinda my favourite part)