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Collected Works of Semony Lnicket by x2pttrclue32

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •

Dear Reader,

If you are like collecter, you might enjoy to collect things. Some of you might collect sea shells, or books, or dictionaries. But of all things, I hope with all my heart that none of you collect dismal stories. The chapters that you are about to read contain parts of the story of Harry Potter.

In fact, the horrendous things in this collection are too numerous to name. I wouldn't think of mentioning such things as an evil wizard, birthday presents, ghosts, an owl, or a spider-filled closet.

I have put these renditions of this disaterous tale together for the sake of my research, but you might be better off walking away from this story, and collecting dictionaries instead.

With all due respect,

Semony Lnicket

P.S. This chapters in this collection may be read in any order you please. Although, it would probably please you more if you did not read them at all.

Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 11/19/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: The Boy Who Didn't Die

i love this story--you are so good at lemony snickett's style. If he wrote HP, this is exactly what it would be like. Great job! :-)

To Dance With My Father...Again by CassandraTrelawney

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: *One-Shot* Lily Potter is in her last year of Hogwarts. She has 5 brothers and sisters. Her mum Ginny, and her father...the ever famous, Harry Potter. But what happens when all she wants is one more dance?
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 11/30/06 Title: Chapter 1: To Dance Again

oh my gosh this is so sad. I'm literally crying :-( but it's so, so good. great job.

The Last Chapter by Hallie Black

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: I guess I should write AU… Anyway, this is how I would like the last chapter of Book Seven to be… What do you say?
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 12/16/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Last Chapter

this was awesome. it would be AMAZING if Lily and James and Sirius were still alive...but I would feel so cheated if the series actually ended this way. i have a feeling it won't, though, lol

Barbie Girl by CraftySlytherin

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It's just your average, boring Summer day on Privet Drive. Or is it? Harry is stuck doing another one of his many thankless chores, when he hears something VERY interesting coming from Dudley's room and goes to investigate.
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 12/05/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

oh my god i laughed soo hard. you did an awesome job with this; the image of dudley playing with barbies...wow, i'm going to be laughing about this for a long time. lol, great job.

99 Red Balloons by Seaspray

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: ONE SHOT. Luna Lovegood finally realises the answer to a problem that has puzzled her for years. A short songfic about love, loss and letting go. Written for the SQ Songfic challenge.
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 01/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: n/a

this is wonderful!

I don't think i've ever read a fic about Luna's take on her mother's death. It was very sad, beautiful, realistic, and extremely believable. kudos!

Mummy Loves You by expecto_patronum_this

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The night of Lily and James's death. As Lily watches the Dark Lord destroy everything in her life she has ever cared for, she realizes that she must explain to Harry why she can't be there for him forever, and make sure he knows that "Mummy loves you..."
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 11/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: Mummy Loves You

oh that was so good!! I was crying...you definitely did the scene justice and captured the moment perfectly

Halifax Triplet by QuIDdITch_PlaYA

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Three songfics that go together. All three are to Halifax songs. Ginny loves Harry, but he is too afraid to admit his true feelings.

Our Last Dance/ C.H.A.O.S./ Finished in a Day
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 11/27/06 Title: Chapter 3: Finished in a Day

that was really good! i loved it, but the ending was so sad! even though i usually don't like reading H/G fics where harry or ginny or both die, this one was very well-written (and songfics are awesome :-) yay!) good job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I\'m glad that I\'m able to make an exception to you\'re anti-Harry/GInny death thing. I normally am too, but I think I was feeling emo or something when I came up with the idea :]

Adventures in Courtship by SunDevil05

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: The war is over. Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley finally have the chance for the happiness they've been craving. But, with Harry recovering from the war and Ginny back in school, can they finally have the relationship they've always wanted?

******Higher rating just to be safe.

Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 11/26/06 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter Ten - Talk of the Town

i love this story! this was a really good chapter; I liked the flashback to the final battle.
just a note, Ginny is short for Ginevra, not Virginia. I wasn't sure if you did that on purpose or not :-P

Author's Response: That was done on purpose. I do know that Ginny\'s real name is Ginevra, but Miriam Nosebury does not know that.

When Darkness Did Surround Us by MagEd

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: 2007 QSQ Awards Runner-up for Best Post-Hogwarts

Petunia Dursley is enjoying dinner with her family when someone starts pounding on the door. Ready to tell them off for being so rude and refusing to leave when they didn't answer at first, Petunia opens the door to have a baby shoved into her arms and told she is his only family. Years after the great Harry Potter defeated Voldemort, Death Eaters have risen to power and taken over Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, and even the Ministry of Magic. Their marriages announced invalid, their children in danger and their lives hanging by a thread, the heroes of the war with Voldemort must once again take a stand against evil.

H/G and R/Hr

(pre-Deathly Hallows)


*Quote from The Epilogue*

Suddenly Harry was kissing her as if he couldn’t resist the temptation. There was a kind of frenzy to the kiss at first, a kind of desperate need, but it melted into something soft and sweet and gentle, a promise of a future when kisses would never be limited. When they broke apart he rested his forehead on hers, sprinkling a few affectionate butterfly kisses across her face. “I love you,” he murmured.
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 12/02/06 Title: Chapter 5: The Mudblood Camp

omg i love this story. great job!
oh my gosh, the muggleborn camp is really actually frightening, but a good way to show what the wizarding world was coming to at that point. sort of like the ghettos in nazi germany *shudders*
once again, great job! can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, that is actually where the idea of the mudblood camps stemmed. I\'m glad you liked it nonetheless, thanks for the review!

Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick by MagEd

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: 2008 QSQ Awards Runner-up for Best Post-Hogwarts

Harry defeated Voldemort. Harry married Ginny. Harry and Ginny had five children. Harry disappeared. My name is Lily Potter, and this is the story of what happened when my father returned after six years missing to find my mother about to re-marry. This is the story of myself, my crazy family, and most of all, this is the story of my parents and the man who tried to come between them. (pre-Deathly Hallows)


"Oh, I can so die happy now!" -Sirius Potter
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 04/30/07 Title: Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick

I got seven favorites emails. seven. All on this story. For this chapter. and it STILL isn't validated!! argh!
I can't wait to read it...I don't know if I've reviewed yet; I'm pretty bad about remembering to do that. =] anyway, I think you've done a fantastic job so far and this is by far my favorite story on MNFF. keep it up! ~Lizey

Author's Response: I get those e-mails sometimes, five for a single chapter only for it not to actually be posted for another week -- it\'s certainly annoying! Thanks for the review, I\'m glad the story is your favorite, that makes my day :)

Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 04/30/07 Title: Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick

make that 8 favorites emails =P

Author's Response: Haha

Castle On A Cloud by ColorOfAngels

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: One shot song fic to Castle on a Cloud from Les Miz... Its a cold Christmas Eve for a six year old Harry Potter...
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 11/23/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

oh, this is so sad! i really like it, though, good job!! love the songfics!

How Predictable! by HPwizzzard

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The Marauders are having their first Divination lesson, and they quickly realize what a waste of time it is. In order to liven things up, Siriusmakes a few predictions without the aid of tea leaves. Obviously, he's no Seer, because there's no way James and Lily will ever get married, Peter will become an evil minion, or Remus will fall for Sirius' baby cousin... right?
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 12/13/06 Title: Chapter 1: How Predictable!

You did a great job with this--it was really funny, in an ironic, black-humor kind of way. I love the part about Sirius's old girlfriends--hilarious :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! I love to be told I\'ve done a great job. Yeah, it\'s BLACK humour (pun very much intended). I did enjoy the old girlfriends- obviously no one would break up with the Great Sirius Black, he was always the one to end it, and the poor girls never got over him.

Voldy's Deathpants by Deathpants, Mind_Over_Matter, wendelin the wierd, cmwinters, Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters are locked in battle over a highly important magical artifact known to most as Voldy's Deathpants, in bold letters like that. However, they go about battle in a, er, highly unusual way-- a Quidditch match!

Probably the silliest thing that's ever appeared on this site, featuring highly OOC behaviour.

Deathpants is a team of writers consisting of Mind_Over_Matter, cmwinters, wendelin the wierd, and Schmerg_The_Impaler. Our story was written in Round Robin format. This (and our deranged minds) explains its randomness. Enjoy!

The insanity of the Deathpants has gotten to the mods! This ridiculous story WON the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Humour Story!
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 01/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only

this is definitely the most bizarre story I've ever read
don't worry, it's a compliment :-D
I was laughing so hard....

"What happened next was as bad as a really bad thing. In a manner suspiciously reminiscent of The Incredible Hulk, the two men suddenly ripped their shirts off and turned into bizarre giant-Mexican-hairless-werethingies as seen in the film version of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.""
and I loved general uproar and the quidditch rulebooks...one thing I noticed though:
But… the Order can’t win!” gulped Voldemort. “My — poor Deathpants…”
deathpants isn't bolded *gasp*
anyway, great job. :-D

Author's Response: Thanks! I always take \'bizarre\' as a compliment. General Uproar is very fun, and the Quidditch Rulebooks are courtesy of Mind_Over_Matter. (When I read the first Quidditch Rulebook passage, I laughed hysterically.) As for them ,erm, weird werewolves... well, I\'m guilty of writing that passage, but I think it was cmwinters\'s idea... correct me if I\'m wrong, fellow Deathpants members. Cheers! --Schmergo (Schmerg_The_Impaler)

Author's Response:

Mind_Over_Matter : *Mind is a little boggled* I think so... but you are most certainly the one who made them movie-werethingos. Ended up working out well, plot-wise. *Sentimental giggle*

And oh, gosh, that\'s no good. I mean, Voldemort would absolutely never disrespect his darling Deathpants...

Spell Checker by MollyCoddles

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: After the war, Snape is on sabbatical and Remus is filling in for DADA. Wading through scrolls of assignments, he begins to suspect one particular essay is wifely mischief managed.
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 01/09/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

great job!
it was hysterical...i love all of Lupin's corrections on the paper. :-D

Author's Response: I\'m glad you found it funny! I admire teachers, I really do. I just wouldn\'t have enough red ink! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Gin_Drinka

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: “You sing to me every night that heaven is somewhere over the rainbow. Granddad told me today, when I asked him, that heaven is after the stars. Everybody tells me that’s where my father is and…I miss him. I wish I could be with him. And if that means being a million light years away from earth, then that’s how far I want to be.”

Harry's family is missing him. A heart-wrenching conversation between Ginny and her fatherless daughter.

Nominated for a Quicksilver Quill for Best Dark/Angst. Thank you!
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 02/15/07 Title: Chapter 1: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

wow. I really loved this; it made me cry. The part about Lily having to be strong for Ginny is so sad, but so perfect. you definitely did a wonderful job showing all of the emotions here. just excellent :-)
One question: i know it isn't really important to the meaning of the story, but I'm curious, as I always am. how did Harry die?
anyway, I loved it! great job!!

Author's Response: Well, I guess he died in the war. I thought of including that, but then thought better. I wanted to focus on the ones he left behind. Well, thanks you\'re review made me smile real big! Sorry I made you cry.

The Bedroom at the Burrow by Pondering

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Fred thought that death would be more exciting than an uncluttered bedroom.

First Place in The Next Great Adventure prompt in the Autumn Challenge of 2007!
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 10/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Bedroom at the Burrow

Let me start off by saying I loved this. It was sweet and sad and funny all at the same time. I think it was very appropriate that Fred and George tackled the afterlife together. It seemed so unnatural that Fred died while his twin went on living, and I think your fic captured and addressed that very nicely.
I liked how you portrayed Fred's life after death...or, well, his time waiting for George. I thought it was interesting how normal the entire situation was for him, and how he discovered more about the end of his life and why he was there as the story continued. I loved the entire "you have to let me into your heart" aspect of the piece; very well done =]
Great job! Good luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: I think that after you realise you\'re dead, you don\'t really expect things to feel normal anymore. :) I\'m glad you liked the story. :)

Consequences by helgaandgodric

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: In my version of the DH epilogue, set 19 years later. Harry has pushed his family away to protect them from the consequences of his actions. But what will happen when the consequences are different then he thought they would be?

IWhile DH is not excluded, the last chapter is. This also happens to be a part of the Ellie Vicky and Ellie Cathy series, although it is not vital to read "A Potter and a Malfoy."
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 10/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Overall, this was a very interesting one-shot. The plotline was well done and intriguing: the idea of Harry pushing his family away so they wouldn't be hurt by his actions is a very Harry-ish thing to do, and I think you captured that aspect of his character very well. I also enjoyed the incorporation of the interview and letter into the fic--it made for a nice variety of voice and tone, which is always good to see, especially in such a short piece.
Now, a few criticisms. There were certain events that seemed rather abrupt, like Ginny telling Harry she was leaving him and Harry confessing he killed Malfoy. Since we didn't really get a glimpse of what Harry and Ginny's marriage was like beforehand, Ginny leaving with the children seemed like a rather out-of-the-blue event to me. Harry saying he killed Malfoy had the same sort of effect on me--it was surprisingly sudden.
I know the challenge called for a one-shot, so you obviously couldn't say *everything* here. I do think that the parts I mentioned above could use a little more development, however.
Overall, though, good job! I wish you the best of luck in the challenge =]

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I didn\'t want to go into a lot of detail, because I was trying to mimic Jo\'s style, and she leaves a lot of holes open for interpretation. The actual epilogue just goes straight from the final battle and such to 19 years later. If you want some hints of what happened afterwards, the other fic in the Ellie Vicky and Ellie Cathy series is \"A Potter and a Malfoy.\" Kate

Voldemort: The Psycho Dark Lord of Hogsmeade (Sweeney Todd Gone Potter) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The final installment of my set of Broadway musical spoofs about Voldemort's life!

This is Stephen Sondheim's brilliant musical, Sweeney Todd, but drastically warped and twisted by me. If you ever wanted to hear a song where Voldemort tries to encourage Fenrir to eat various Potterverse characters, this is the fic for you.

My other two spoofs about Voldemort, those of Les Miserables and Wicked, can be found on my profile. I've also got spoofs of Phantom of the Opera, High School Musical, and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Enjoy!
Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 08/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: SWEENEY TIME

AHH I loved this!! While I've never actually seen Sweeney Todd on Broadway, I liked the movie (except for the fact that nobody could *really* sing except Toby) and I luuurve the OBC recording. Anyway, your lyrics fit soo well...I'm majorly impressed; Sondheim is HARD, dude. But I love Sondheim =D
Anyway, I was cracking up hysterically all through A Little Bill...I loved the Thicknesse joke. Bahaha.
Also, I was, for some reason, amused by the fact that Helena Bonham Carter played both Mrs. Lovett and Bellatrix in the movie versions...and I noticed how perfectly By The Sea fits both characters =]
Anywho, major props for writing this. I'm pretty lousy with lyrics, but you do them really well!
Hairspray sounds really entertaining, by the way. You should do a RENT spoof (I tried to do this and failed. Miserably. I did come out with a Potterized version of La Vie Boheme that I sent to the Song Parodies section of Mugglenet...but it either hasn't been added yet/wasn't accepted) Anyway, it is kind of...erm...inappropriate. The movie--well--I don't like the movie very much, but it's more appropriate than the musical. The lyrics to 'La Vie Boheme' are about as bad as they get. In the stage production...well, look up the lyrics to Contact and keep in mind that it's staged rather vividly =P
Anyway, all digressions aside, this was an awesome spoof! Great job!! *goes off to listen to Sweeney Todd*

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I've never seen Sweeney on Broadway either (I've seen the video version of the old stage production and I have the OBC, and I DESPERATELY want the revival soundtrack, which has a female Pirelli and only nine or ten cast members total and very minimalistic staging and orchestration), but I've always really loved the show. I always thought it was too obscure to spoof, but then the film came out, and I said, "Well, I'll go for it!"

I actually really like Johnny Depp's voice. Call it a crime, but I think it's better-suited to the role of Sweeney than most trained singers, because he captures the intensity without going into overblown emotion. I feel like George Hearn (who most people see as THE Sweeney) used so much vibrato and vocal stylings that it was like he was saying "LISTEN TO ME! LISTEN TO MY VOICE!" instead of "Listen to what I'm saying and what my character is feeling." But yeah, that's just me!

Thanks so much for the -- Sondheim IS hard to spoof. So many internal rhymes! Amazingly, though, the "Wicked" spoof was actually harder to write than this one. Stephen Schwartz has some pretty complex rhyme schemes, too! "A Little Bill' was my favourite song of the bunch to write, because it was so stinkin' hard but I ended up liking the way it turned out. And yes, I HAD to make Bellatrix sing "By The Sea" after I saw this hilarious picture of Bellatrix and Voldemort on the beach posed like that one shot from the Sweeney Todd film!

You know, I've never seen Rent. I own a Rent t-shirt (my cousin bought it for me), but I don't know any of the songs except 'Seasons of Love,' and I don't know almost anything about the show. I do know that I'm not allowed to see the film (though I've never seen it, I can't imagine it can be any less appropriate than "Les Miserables," which has a whole song about prostitutes and a major character who is one) and that Idina Menzel's in it, but that's really all I know.

Everything Happens for a Reason by MerrryD

Rated: 6th-7th Years •

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Every student plans on making their final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry the most memorable one ever. Eight in particular want to make those minutes really count. Except, they each have a different idea of how to go about doing it.

James Potter would like to waltz into Lily Evans’s life and throw it completely off course. Julie McGuire didn’t exactly plan on rescuing Remus Lupin, but now that she has, why not just go with it? Marlene McKinnon should have know what she got herself into when she kissed Sirius Black the first time, but that boy has a way of knocking her senseless. Emmeline Vance had planned to just sit back and watch it all happen, until Roxanna Louchester, her ex-friend, barged in and turned everything upside down.

Suddenly they’ve gone from only wanting the most memorable year, to achieving it. It’s a year of love and lust. It’s a year of tears and fights. It’s a year of finding yourself. It’s a year of learning to lose. It’s a year that none of them are likely to forget.

How do you measure a year in the life?

Reviewer: obsessed_with_jo Signed
Date: 07/26/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Are You Ready? Hold that Focus--Steady

This is such an awesome fic! I love all of the RENT parallels SO much; it's really well-done...got me singing the Tune-Ups and Voicemails in my head =P
Aside from the whole RENT business, I love what you've started here. I like the interactions between the characters; they seem very real and believable. It held my attention all the way through, which is amazing, since it's about twice as long as one of my average chapters =] . It's also really well-written for a first fic. Great job, and I hope to read more of it soon!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! heheh.... It's good to know that you could recognize the songs. I'm glad the characters seem real, that's one of the things I really strive for in writing. Yes, it is a bit long... but I like long chapters. :D I'm glad you liked it! xo Mere