Penname: flyingphoenix [Contact]
Real name: Your Best Nightmare
Member Since: 08/18/06
Website:
Beta-reader: 0
Status: Member
Bio:
Hi! I'm flying phoenix, and I won't be writing any stories - under this penname! However, I will be writing alongside a friend and we'll send our stories under her name - I think it's r_u_sirius_im_joquin But I could be wrong...


Be on the lookout for some pretty cool stuff from us. We have several humor fics, a christmas story, and some sweet but comic LE/JP romances to write - so get yourself excited!

Of our duo, I'm the stupid one, and I'll be the one you don't want to see writing from. However, my counterpart is brilliant, so for her sake I ask you to put up with me. I'm really sorry if you're even reading this right now - it must be lowering your I.Q very rapidly. Of course, I really see no reason for anyone to read this, as I haven't written anything.

So if you're reading this, I wonder why you're wasting your time in such a meaningless way?

However, I am grateful that you care about me enough to read all this nothingness, so I won't send you to a psychiatrist...yet...

So, stay tuned for anything affiliated with flyingphoenix!

Love and Hate,

me

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Reviews by flyingphoenix
 

The Talk(s) by smokeline
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 84]

Summary: After walking in on a snog-session between Ron and Hermione, the Weasley family takes it upon themselves to inform them about the birds and the bees. One-shot.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3742 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/07/04 Updated: 11/07/04


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Talk(s)

Poor Ron - 4 talks in one day...I wouldn't be able to stomach it! This is funny! Good job!

 
Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Talk(s)

Poor Ron - 4 talks in one day...I wouldn't be able to stomach it! This is funny! Good job!

 
Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Talk(s)

Poor Ron - 4 talks in one day...I wouldn't be able to stomach it! This is funny! Good job!

 

Swapping with Snape by Loz
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 401]

Summary: Thanks to an ingenious plan of Dumbledore's, Severus Snape and Harry Potter swap bodies. They're doing this to fight Voldemort.

Dumbledore says it's the only way Harry can survive. But can Snape get over the trials and tribulations of being a teenager again, and can Harry battle unruly Potions students and greasy black hair?

In short - will either of them survive?

The latest chapter is shown from Snape's point of view.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 35656 Chapters: 26 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/11/04 Updated: 06/29/05


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/11/07 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter Twenty Six

Ooooooh! Exciting! What's going on with Dumbledore! I must find out, so update soon! Great job so far on the story...it's a genius idea!

 

Happy Birthday, Draco by painterchica
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 41]

Summary: It's Draco's birthday, and Ginny wants to make it as special as possible. Hopefully, certain things won't get in the way...All hail OOC Draco...

Categories: Draco/Ginny, Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1037 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/12/04 Updated: 11/12/04


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 07/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: Happy Birthday, Draco

"Burn in hell, old man." Perfect last line. I really love the ending - it was so funny and...it kind of made me want to be sick too...

 

Too Far Gone by Gemmika
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 1174]

Summary: *How far would you go for love?* "If you touch her again, I'll kill you." "Go ahead for I'll come to her again and again." *Is it worth it?* "James leave her alone, she's no good for you." "Don't say a word against Lily!" *Will it last?* "It's forever, I've known it sice the day I met you." "Forever is a long time." "Not if you love someone..." I am finally re-editing this story, please take a look and see all the new stuff!

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Non-Consensual Sex, Sexual Situations

Word count: 58398 Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/13/04 Updated: 01/27/05


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/10/07 Title: Chapter 14: "WHY?"

I must say I don't like your view of Sirius at all... but you warned us, I suppose...

 

The Harry Potter Code by dink
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 68]

Summary: I've spent many hours trying to crack the code that JKR cunningly hid throughout the Harry Potter series, concentrating mostly on The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix. After weeks of painstaking research, I feel that I'm finally able to reveal the truth of what lies between certain selected sentences from each of these books.

Certain characters' personalities have been utterly transformed by the code-breaking process. Read at your peril ...

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 11899 Chapters: 11 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/14/04 Updated: 11/28/04


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 08/21/07 Title: Chapter 2: The New Complicated Plan

Wow, this is really funny...you should have more reviews! I'll spread the word to my friends for you! I hope the rest of this story is as good as these two chapters!

 

Summary: Voldemort and crew try to think up a name, they play a death defying game of truth or dare ... etc. READ AND REVIEW and tell me if I should write something else, because I've got some ideas ... liiiiikkkkkeeee maybe Voldemort's first attempt at a bad deed or something. Anyway. Tell me what you think ... READ IT, REVEIW IT!! =P

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 933 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/22/04 Updated: 11/22/04


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 08/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: One

This is really funny - I only wish it were longer. My favorite part was the end - "this man obviously meant business." it really shows how cruel of a person Voldy is when he puts Snape inthe BAD CHAIR just for giggling. And I love the explanation of how a wart like Peter got into the Death Eaters... I like it!

 

Summary: A series of hilarious journal entries and lists from Hermione, describing the insane "war" she has gotten herself into with Parvati. Insanity, and hilarity, ensue... A sequel to "The Secret Thoughts of Hermione Granger" (though it'll make sense if you haven't read it)

Note: Another story from "back in the day."

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 14991 Chapters: 11 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/27/04 Updated: 01/24/05


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 08/22/07 Title: Chapter 2: Parvati's Revenge

Aaaaw, Ron is trying to defend hermione! How cute! I hope he doesn't go too far, though... As always, great chapter!

 
Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 08/22/07 Title: Chapter 3: Ron's Revenge

poor mrs. Norris...not

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 07/05/07 Title: Chapter 15: In Her Father's Arms

Aaaaaaaw! What a sweet ending. Just for the record, I don't think any of this could ever happen...they're just not like that. But it was very well written and it kept me reading! Nice job!

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/15/07 Title: None

I like it! You make some really good points...

 

Stranded by Queen of Serpents
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 528]

Summary:

She was drowning, a damsel in distress, awaiting her knight in shining armor to come rescue her. It was then he came, her savior, but a villian in reality, an evil devilish boy by the name of Draco Malfoy.



Now, they are left, lost and forsaken amidst a sea of chaos.







Pre-HBP



Ch. 9 - 20% complete


Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 34637 Chapters: 8 Completed: No
Published:
12/28/04 Updated: 09/20/07


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 08/26/08 Title: Chapter 8: Of Anxiety and Anticipation

Ooh, murder, interesting...

 

Taste of Revenge by Queen of Serpents
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 259]

Summary:

Bad boy James must be taught a lesson. The game of vengeance begins with Lily's plan to seduce & then dump him and James retaliating when he finds out. But the taste of Revenge is sweet as well as addicting and neither are willing to admit defeat.

Chapter 6 is 40% complete



Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 14419 Chapters: 5 Completed: No
Published:
12/29/04 Updated: 01/12/06


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 10/19/07 Title: Chapter 5: Conundrums

Oh please update..I've been waiting for so long..it's painful..this is an amazing story!

 
Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 10/19/07 Title: Chapter 5: Conundrums

Oh please update..I've been waiting for so long..it's painful..this is an amazing story!

 
Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/09/07 Title: Chapter 5: Conundrums

You say you'll update...Soon enough? It can never be soon enough! I love this story - it is tied for my all-time favorite fanfic (It's tied with Stranded, your HG/DM fic). You haven't updated in forever- I'm about to die from waiting so long. You didn't give up on this story, did you? That would ruin my life! Literally. I have a pretty pathetic life that depends on this story. So update, please! By the way... this is an amazing story that everyone should read- if they don't read it they won't be complete and will live a horrible, cursed, half - life. Just like Voldemort! This story is awesome! Thank you for writing!

 

Summary: Parody of the Harry Potter series written and completed before the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It looks at the lives of some of the major characters as they wait impatiently for book six to arrive. Naturally, chaos ensues. Suitable for all.





Winner of the first annual Quicksilver Quills Award 2006 for best humor fiction. Thank you!



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 14850 Chapters: 12 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/06/05 Updated: 06/18/05


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 04/11/07 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve: Normality, Almost

THIS IS THE BEST HUMOUR FIC I'VE EVER READ...just thought you ought to know...

Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m glad you enjoyed it so much!

 

Summary: Holy cream-filled cadaver! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Az-No-Fans! is what God meant to create when he slipped, took a nosedive and accidentally created what we call earth. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Az-No-Fans is the perfect world in which we were all meant to live. It is perfection. READ IT OR FOREVER REMAIN IMPERFECT.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, None, Sexual Situations, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 45810 Chapters: 12 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/06/05 Updated: 01/04/06


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 07/05/07 Title: Chapter 12: Part 12: Continued Chuntering

Wow. I am amazed. This story made me cry - several times. Don't worry, I wasn't cryin because it's bad! It was so maddeningly hilarious that I couldn't even see straight. I am currently in the process of convincing my friends to read this...I don't want them to remain forever imperfect, do I? I have read this story 2 times now, and I'm wondering why I didn't review before...I don't think i did, at least...

My favorite part of the entire story was your first description of Mrs. Weasley - it reduced me to wheezing pathetically and writhing in my chair, watched over by a confused and concerned mother.

I love your choice of words - especially "writhing" - every time you used it I started laughing...that's probably just me, though...

Another favorite moment was when hermione decided to escape the Snape situation by writhing on the floor for fourteen hours straight. That made my break down completely, laughing through huge sobs...


This story is - well - no words can describe how good it is...

Author's Response: THANKU SO MUCH. YOU ARE AWESOME. I\'m WRITING A DUMBLEDORE/GRINDELWALD FANFICTION AT THE MOMENT SO LOOK OUT FOR THAT. caps lock off.

 

The Unseemly Proposal by sparx
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5422]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThe reign of Voldermort comes to an end, and with it ends the prestige and power Lucius Malfoy once had in the Wizarding World. In order to regain the respect of his fellow wizards and to make them believe that he has turned over a new leaf (which he actually hasn't) and has graciously accepted muggles and Mudbloods, Lucius asks Hermione, a Mudblood, to marry his son, Draco, a pure-blood. Obviously, they both refuse, but Lucius isn't going to give up easily. After all, he wants his status back. He still has a few tricks up his sleeve and is determined to play match-maker. What happens next is a series of events that serve only to bring Hermione and Draco closer, both literally and figuratively speaking. Read to find out how this one unseemly proposal causes absolute chaos in their lives! THIS STORY IS NOT HBP and DH COMPATIBLE! Hey all! Check out my personal info for the expected date of the next update. =)

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 154682 Chapters: 38 Completed: No
Published:
01/17/05 Updated: 05/22/06


Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 08/20/07 Title: Chapter 36: Chapter 36- Feelings

Okay, you really have to update... I've been waiting for sooooo long! PLease put an end to my pain! to quote Potter Puppet Pals, "Why do you hurt me in these ways?..."

 
Reviewer: flyingphoenix Signed
Date: 11/17/07 Title: Chapter 37: Chapter 37- Making Sense of It All

oooooooooooh, im glad she's not denying her feelings anymore... well, not completely denying them anyway. I love the psychology books -so hermioneish

 
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