About me? Hmmm... I simply love The Marauders and Albus Dumbledore. They are my favourite characters in HP. I am 18 this year and my passion is for anything related to art and writing; I love drawing, designing and writing. So far, I've writen five stories, three of which are posted here. I hope to become an author of books in the near future.
This was a good story. Excellent in terms of descriptiveness and throughly amazing with the dialogue as well. Your dialogue was good, complemented the story and the era in which it was set in. But, most of all, I just loved your descriptiveness in the story. Ah,well, I have a weak spot for descriptions...The way you described things in the story was amazing. These are the lines I love, though:
I hate winters in London as passionately as I love the autumns. A grey and dreary fog hangs over the country like a giant blotter. Even the colour in my paints seems to fade into the misty nothingness, or worse, glare garishly under the harsh cold light. No, fall is my season, that last riot of tantalising hues which burst forth from every tree.
And the part about the painter's prayer was a nice touch as well. i just thought,though, since this is a story that involves magical folks, there should be a little more magic in it, maybe simple magic Martine used in her household chores and such. Wonderfully written, good work!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your kind words. I too have a weakness for description. I understand your desire for more magic, only I feel like too many wizards use magic as a crutch, and in times when being a witch/wizard was highly suspect they would have striven to be as mugglish as possible. But perhaps that is just me. Besides, the most simple magic is done without a wand, such as turning a hank of wool into a spidersilk thread, coaxing a plant from fresh earth, or turning globs of paint into a living masterpiece. Thank you again!
I just love the way your writing flows; it almost sounds like poetry. I especially liked the description about Sirius-all intelligence and explosive temper and quite possibly madness. That was very true about Sirius' character. I liked reading this. A very good piece of work.
The magical terms and objects you use in this story make the story seem all the more real.Good work on that one. Snape's characterisation was good and I especially liked Dumbledore's meeting with Snape. That was rather hilarious. I just thought you could have been a little more descriptive in certain parts of the story, for example, how the interior of the abandoned house looked like and such. Overall though, great work!
-Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Author's Response: True, but it was done for the Gauntlet Challenge, and to be honest, I just wanted to get parts of it done and get it to my guide, because I was REALLY behind. I\'m glad you liked it, though! :D
That was a different idea for a story and the description of Harry, thin and frail, how he held his colour pencils as if they were his prized possessions was and the mention that he carried them around in a plastic bag...amazingly touching and moving. A wonderful one-shot.
I think it's a nice piece of writing. I like the way you put the song into the story and how nicely the lyrics were connected to Ginny's feelings as well. There were a few typos though, i think. Anyway, enough of the rambling. Great job, keep going!
Author's Response: thanks...it\'s kind of odd having people reading your writing...you feel a bit watched. i read your dream wedding story a while back and really liked that one. yeah, i did notice some typos...oh well. i thought it was ok for my first-ever attempt. thanks for the support!
A short and sweet piece of writing! I especially liked the part where you described love, as in the part about how Ginny looks at Harry and all that. If you left some space between the paragraphs, it would make reading easier,though.
Author's Response: Thank you! Not the time to mention that I strongly oppose Harry/Ginny, is it? I don\'t know what happened to my spacing... can\'t fix it till break\'s over.
Was it suspicion that Remus was a servant of the Dark Lord that James had in him towards Remus? Aww, poor Remus. A light, nice Christmas story to read. I especially liked this part:
“All right. But this had better be worthwhile, Sirius. I’m not in the mood for...”
“...passing along germs, yes, I know it, for the twenty-third time.” Sirius whipped his wand out of his sleeve. “Let me think.”
“Please do. That’s my head you’re aiming at.”
Rather hilarious.I also loved Dumbledore's presence here. Nicely written.
Author's Response: Well, thank you! Yeah, I think I should do a little more with this theme. It\'s kind of interesting.
A very light and entertaining read;your story gives me an idea of how Sirius may have passed his life in the form of a dog. I especially liked the part on Mopsy's Patronus. Good work on that one!
Author's Response: Thank you! I like writing deleted scenes, seeing as I love reading them so much :)
Nice! I especially liked these lines
Think of me my love,
The title also suits the poem very nicely. Good work!
Author's Response: Thanks - the title just popped into my head. Thanks again!
Nice! I especially liked these lines
Think of me my love,
The title also suits the poem very nicely. Good work!
Author's Response: Thanks!
That was a nice story. The theme of facing hardships together and getting through it is also good. Your dialogues had good flow. Overall, it was a good story, but I would like to point out certain things that can make your story even better.Firstly, I think Harry wouldn't sob when he hears about Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley's death. Secondly, maybe you could be more descriptive in certain parts of the story, for example, describe Ron's feelings about his parents' death a little more. Your description of how Harry felt about Mr and Mrs Weasley was great. Good work on that one. I especially loved these lines in your story:
She hugged him tightly; afraid that if she let go that she would lose him forever.
And they would:
Great work on the story and do keep up the writing. I am fellow Hufflepuff as well!
Author's Response: Thank you SO much for all of your lovely compliments! They make me feel really special when someone is happy with my writing. I\'m glad that you liked those excerpts. This was really fun to write! *giggles* *waves to fellow puff* ~Lindsey :)
I think you did a wonderful job in taking the unexplained bits in the books and expanding on them to create a story. For example, we don't know the Dementor's origins; it is not mentioned in the books. You made use of that and brought in the hallows as the Dementor's creator. That was very clever.
I think your storyline is good and all of it makes complete sense. I think that these few linies in your story were especially good:
We had been named Hallows because we were ‘heavenly swallows’, as the men in long white robes called us. We did not know what a swallow was, but we knew heavenly, and the heavenly part of us died when we took on Deathly.
Your ending, especially, made this a good one-shot.
I just thought that maybe you could have elaborated more on certain things in the story: how the hallows looked like when they were created and how they looked when became the 'Deathly Hallows', that would give a clearer picture. You could also have described how the men in white robes looked.
You have set the cold, dark mood for the story well. I just think it would be even better if you could include descriptions on the war. You could describe it in words like ‘screams of anguish echoed through the streets, pain and terror rode with us to assist us, to weaken, to kill…’. Or something like that. That would set an even darker mood in my opnion.
I also think that Voldemort wouldn't give his plans away so easily to anyone; he likes to operate alone. I think it is a little unlikely for Voldemort to tell the hallows his plans, but that's just me. I’m no expert , so forgive me for the rambling. Overall, I think this is a great story on your view of the Deathly Hallows.
Author's Response: what a great review! I\'m glad you liked it. The thing about Voldemort telling the Hallows is that while I agree he wouldn\'t tell people, the Hallows aren\'t really people... but that\'s my opinion. thanks for the review!
I thought it was short and sweet, just like you mentioned in the summary. After I finished reading the poem, I had an impression that it was a very light read, though that by no means that has no depth. I am just saying that you managed to capture the poem and set it on paper in a very light mood, even with the emotions involved in it. I think you did a good job in setting the mood of the poem.
That's what I think, I am no expert on poetry though. Hope you catch my drift. : )
She was only shaken once.Not by James’s romance, nor by Voldemort’s evil antics, but by that little joyous miracle called ‘motherhood’. And in her case, it had nothing to do with erratic hormones and mood swings.
LucillaJoanna of Hufflepuff tells in this story how the mother of a destined hero feels, her perplexity of whether To Laugh or Cry.
Hi, friend ! Thank you for your wonderful dedication. : ) On to the review,
A lot of things could do this to a woman, upset our inner workings like a trunk thrown from a train: stress, nerves, anxiety, flurry.
How very true, Joanna. Well-said.
No child deserved to live in these times, when every moment their innocent little adventures could be cut short by the tip of some lunatic’s wand.
I liked the way you phrased this. It was descriptive yet sounded as if Lily was truly speaking to herself.
The way you changed phrases used in the daily lives of Muggles to suit the wizarding world was also clever:
Speak of the goblin; he could appear at the most inconvenient times, couldn’t he…
It also never occured to me how James might hide his wand in his cuffs while performing wandless magic. The way you wrote made Lily seem cynical and fitted her character wonderfully.
“Padfoot’s not pretty and sexy.”
‘You may kiss the bride.’ As if James needed permission.
That was funny! : )
Remus, ever the gentleman.
I think you did well with this, portraying Sirius and James as if they are still boys and Remus as a man.Good characterisation there.
You tied the prompt nicely with the story at the end.
Overall, it was a good read. I think you managed to portray the times when Lily was pregnant very well and the way James and Lily lived without overdoing anything. I just have one tiny suggestion...Maybe your story would have been even better if you included more description in between the dialogues, i.e, description on how Dumbledore's office looked, how Lily looked in her dress and perhaps how James' expression was when he was abotu to kiss her...things like that..
That's just my opinion, though, You're the author my friend, and maybe you intended it to be this way. You know best. ; )
Keep up the great writing, Joanna.
You go, girl! *grabs pom-poms and cheers*
Author's Response: Wow. This is the best review I\'ve received so far! You should apply for SPEW, dear. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Edwina! There\'s nothing better than detail-by-detail praise and critiquing! You made my day all over again after that fab banner you made me. To your suggestions, don\'t think I didn\'t see it either, this is quite a dialogue typhoon, isn\'t it? But you see, the story is entirely in Lily\'s perspective so I thought it wouldn\'t be right to make her narrate to herself places familiar to her like Dumbledore\'s office. I did describe the cottage, though. And as for James, you\'re right about that! Pity I can\'t edit this now, but still, I wanted to focus on their dilemma, not their romance. So I forewent some sparksy details. Again, thanks for this heartening review, sis! And for the cheerdance! ^_^