Penname: Ambrille [Contact]
Real name: Ambrille
Member Since: 08/04/06
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Ebony Lust by Queen of Serpents
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 119]

Summary: He was on her mind constantly. A vampire sucking on her sanity. She was still drawn to him, so drawn that she couldn't think of anything else but him. Thus when he asks her a question, asks for her consent, she can't refuse... and must succumb to her... Dracula.

SSxHG -- one shot--Pre-HBP




Categories: Hermione/Snape Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2690 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/30/04 Updated: 11/30/04


Reviewer: Ambrille Signed
Date: 08/06/06 Title: Chapter 1: Ebony Lust

The details in your story are fabulous, and you have a great style of writing but a little editing and proofreading wouldn't hurt either. There are a few minor mistakes here and there that detract from the plot of the story because one has to read over those sentences a few times or hesitate on a word or two before the meaning becomes clear.

Also, you did a great job at the beginning of the story. The build-up was wonderful, but then it came to an abrupt halt at the ending. I would have preferred a little more before the story was completely over, not another chapter but maybe one or two more paragraphs to flesh out the last portion of your fic.

My last comment would be, seeing how this is supposed to be Hermione's last year at Hogwarts, and we now know that Snape is a wonderful Occlumens, it would be been a good idea to use this in the story so he could tap into her thoughts.

8.5 / 10

 

Summary: This story was written for wishiwereaweasley (or Lys) for the SPEW Secret Summer Story Swap...or something like that. However, this is not a summer story, it is a winter story that involves strawberries, fluffiness, and a talking snowman.

Categories: Draco/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2833 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/07/06 Updated: 08/10/06


Reviewer: Ambrille Signed
Date: 08/10/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Strawberry-Flavored Kiss

It was a cute story, and well written but I don't think you've got Ginny's nor Draco's personalities down quite right. Also it might be helpful to readers if you explain how Ginny and Draco managed to hook up, as in most fans' minds the two despite each other. I love Ginny and Draco fics, but it has to be said in the stories where their relationship came from for the readers to really feel your story.

Other than that, though, it was a really enjoyable read. Very cute moments and really sentimental.

8/10

Author's Response: I thought that the relationship was explained in enough depth that you could understand where they were coming from; the angst of their hooking up was not the focus; the \"cuteness\" and \"sentimentality\" was.

 
Reviewer: Ambrille Signed
Date: 08/10/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Strawberry-Flavored Kiss

I wanted to edit my review, but there's no option. :( Ack, sorry, I meant to say that it would be helpful if you explained where the relationship came from in the beginning of the story. I know you did explain it, and I merely meant if you put it in the beginning, it would help readers get into the story more as they could fully understand the pairing right from the beginning. So sorry.

Author's Response: Thanks for your comments. The point of the story was actually the fluff, which is why it didn\'t get serious until somewhere in the middle, because it\'s supposed to be clear that - for some reason - the couple has been established for quite some time. Besides, one always hopes that the fact that you simply can\'t understand why Draco and Ginny act so comfortable together makes you read on. Thank you very much for your input, though! Have a lovely day! *D*

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