Hermione sighed in relaxation. She was sitting in her favourite café, the cafe latte steaming cheerily on the small, round table as she immersed herself in the news of The Times. As she flipped a page, the newspaper folded annoyingly backwards and revealed the scenery beyond.
Hermione let out a piercing scream.
4th story in a series of Hermione/Draco one-shot (Check out my author page for more information)
Important announcement in my profile
I really enjoyed this fic.
Hermione's characterization was perfect. You potrayed her stubborness perfectly. You can see her struggle with Draco, and you can tell that she is doubting her feelings.
“I’m glad you are,” she replied nastily. “I’m glad you finally, after so many years, decided that you were in the wrong. I’m glad that you think you’re changed for the better. I’m glad that you can see what you’ve done to me through the years. I’m glad you feel like shit now. And I’m glad that I still have some small willpower in me — I’m leaving.”
I love this line. It really shows Hermione character. It is exactly what she would say.
I was glad to see that Hermione didn't give into Draco right away. Hermione and Draco had a bad past with each other, and I doubt Hermione would be willing to quickly just forget about that. I love how you stayed true to her character.
I like Draco's characterization. I like how you keep some of his sacastic humor in there. I think that it is highly unrealistic, in my mind, that Draco would be on his knees, begging Hermione for forgiveness. He seems a bit too proud for that. Apart from that, I think Draco's character is good.
I loved the symbolism of the latte and cappuccinos. The lattes symbolize Hermione's hate and anger at Draco. The cappuccinos are a sign of forgiveness and a fresh start.
I think that it takes a good author to pull of a ship like D/Hr, and you are definitely one. I really liked, even though I don't typically read D/Hr.
Author's Response: Thank you, tc, I\'m glad to hear you liked how I wrote Hermione in this story. I\'m also very pleased to know you liked that line of Hermione\'s; it was quite an important line because it had to show her emotions through it. Draco might not, as you say, get down on his knees and beg, but - even though he means it deep down - the remorse act here is not very truthful (as Hermione knows and comments on) but more done to slightly embarrass Hermione and put her in a position where she almost has to forgive him because of the entire café listening in on their conversation (and joining in!). He does, however, truly want her forgiveness - and he\'s quite persistent, going from café to café in search of her. I\'m glad you liked the beverage symbolism, lol. As I told Lindsey; it\'s time for innovation. I greatly appreciate your kind review, thank you!
Summary: "Sometimes, just sometimes the right decision is not always the one that makes the most sense."
Heather hadn’t wanted to see Charlie Weasley because she knew it would awaken many memories and feelings she had put to sleep a long time ago, but once she saw him she couldn’t help, wanting to know what he had been up to. Where had her lost love gone?
This story was the first price winner for the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes one-shot challenge .
I loved this. I like Charlie/OC romances, but this was one of my favorites.
I loved the way you introduced Heather. I can picture her walking into the shop, with her fancy clothes and a bodyguard. Then you hear about how she broke Charlie's heart. I loved how her character developed throughout the story. At first, she appeared a bit cocky and stuck-up. In reality, she is very insecure. I felt sorry for her at parts, especially about how her mother controlled every aspect of her life. But at the same time, I don't pity her. She made her own choices; she could have refused her mother. But she didn't.
I loved her interaction with Charlie. It was so sweet. She seemed to act more naturally around Charlie; her true self came out. With Ginny and the twins, she felt very forced excited. It really showed how close her and Charlie were. I loved the chess game metaphor. Charlie made his own decisions, but Heather didn't.
The chess board was really great. I loved how the pieces changed to match the personalities. The flower was perfect for Heather. On the outside, she is very beautiful. On the inside though, she is extremely fragile. The dragons for Charlie were great. They really showed his strength.
The kiss at the end was nice. I think it would be more realistic for Heather to be the one to kiss Charlie. It's something she would do; she really needs Charlie.
Overall, I really liked it. Great job.
Author's Response: This is such a wonderful review. I haven\'t received one of this in a while. I\'m impressed at how well you got Heather\'s character. Not a lot of people understand here, but you nailed her. The kiss in the end, she really wanted to kiss her, but she\'s too much of a coward, and well I imagine Charlie to be very forward especially with these kind of things. He knew he would never see her again so he decided to kiss her instead of saying goodbye. Thanks for the review.
Summary: Every night, young Sirius Black would leave his bed and sneak out of the dormitory. One night, a lovesick Remus follows him and sees a peculiar sight. Based on the ancient Greek myth of Echo and Narcissus.
I really enjoyed your fic. The similarity to the myth is amazing. I really loved how you potrayed Remus and Sirius. It was very realistic how Remus followed Sirius to the Mirror, and it reminded me of how Echo followed Narcissus to the Fountain. I liked how you used the messge on the Mirror and then added the part about Sirius and Remus at the end. It was very clever.
Overall, it was written and didn't feel forced at all. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your kind review. I\'m glad that you enjoyed the message in the transitions and the similarities with the myth. I actually really like doing these little one-shots based on ancient Greek myths, and I have one titled \"Persephone\" pending right now (it\'s Draco/Hermione). Thanks again for the review!
Summary: It is three weeks after Dumbledore's death, and Hermione Granger is dealing with the betrayal of the man she is secretly in love with, the man who is now her enemy, Severus Snape.
The character death and violence are for later chapters, which cover the final battle.
Chapter 4 is up!
I love your story. I like how you portrayed the two sides of Snape. The relationship seems very realistic. I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I am working on it! The next chapter is a hard one to write! But I am working on it! Thank you for reviewing!!
Summary: Andromeda takes a young Tonks to the beach. She quickly finds herself exhausted and falls asleep. Tonks decides to explore on her own. She meets someone her mother never expected her to meet.
I absolutely loved it. I loved how you had Bella reach out her niece like that. I love how potrayed Bella. I don't think that Bella is completely heartless and you seem to get this idea through.
Author's Response: Thank you. I love this story, as well. It\'s one of my personal favorites.
And of course, I do not believe that Bella is heartless either. I love her. She is my favorite character and defending her seems to be taking up a fair amount of my time these days.
Thanks so much for the review. I\'m glad you liked the story and I\'m happy to hear that you don\'t think Bella is a heartless monster.
Summary: "I'm Harry. Harry Potter," the man smiled as he reached out a welcoming hand, "and who are you?" "Brian. Brian Harrison," the boy lied. He could feel the sadness rise in him as they shook hands, as if meeting for the first time.
This fic is so sad; I feel so sorry for poor Brian and Harry.
I like the allusion to Mrs. Longbottom in the beginning; it's awful to see how sad and lonely she is. I almost laughed at the mention of Lockhart and his autographs; I was surprised that was able to enter the Wizarding World again.
When I first saw Brian enter the hospital, I wasn't sure who he was. I thought might be another canon character. Brian's love for his father is so strong; he must be there all the time for the nurse to recognize him so easily. He's such a caring person. I'm guessing that Brian's mother is Ginny.
the boy could see it in his eyes that he too knew that the clarity was leaving, that the eternal fuzziness of a mind driven insane by torture and guilt would soon return
This line really stood out; it's so heart-breaking to see how Harry knows that his memory is fading and that he can't control it. How did he get in this condition? From the quote, it looks like he was tortured. Was Ginny or Arthur hurt too?
This was such a sad and powerful fic. I could relate to Brian's pain because it was so realistic.
Summary: "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches..."
The war is over, and families are still torn apart, still mourning, still grieving. But what if the prophecy hadn't applied to Harry Potter or Neville Longbottom? What if the future of the wizarding world rests in the hands of a small boy with flaming red hair and green eyes like his daddy? Does he hold the key to a bright future? This boy is all Ginny Weasley has left to remind her of his father...her husband.
I love the idea. It's so original. I have never read an fic where Harry's son is the Chosen One. Usually you read that it's Neville who the prophecy refers to.
I don't read a lot of AU, but I just really liked this one. Even though one thing from canon was changed (Harry as the Chosen One), it still felt very canon. It didn't feel unrealistic. I could see that happening in the books. All the characters were IC, which was nice to read.
Seeing them in the graveyard was so sweet. Jacob was just adorable there; “I talked with Grandma and Grandpa,” the boy announced proudly. He seems so innocent, so carefree. It's a nice contrast to Ginny, who is so sad and unhappy.
I love Ron in here. Normally, I'm not overly fond of Ron in fanfic, but here he was really IC. It was so horrible that he had to tell the Grangers about Hermione. Ron's reactions are so like him. I love how he is the one to tell Ginny about Jacob being the Chosen One. Ron isn't stupid; it's nice to see him be the one to take the spotlight. He's a very observant and logical person; he's very good at Chess. He seems like the type who would be able to take all the little pieces of the puzzle to create one big picture.
I cried at parts, smiled, and felt sorry for Ginny. I really enjoyed reading it.
Summary: This is a James/Lily one-shot inspired by an In-House challenge. It's the tale of when James asks Lily out for the very last time.
I love your story. It is very sweet. I like how explain them getting together. It seems very realistic that once James matured, they would start out as friends before diving into a relationship. Good job!
Author's Response: I always thought that when James would finally win over Lily it would be because of his strong bond with her. Anyway, thanks!
Summary: Snape's first act after Voldemort vanishes for the first time.
This fic is definitely one of those most interesting things I've read.
I love the way the fic starts out. You can tell right away that you're talking about Snape. He's crying, but he doesn't know why. It's interesting that he suffered a bit of amnesia first - I'm guessing that it's from the rubble that fell on his head when the house exploded.
Instinctively, he made his way to the sound, still covered by the Invisibility Cloak. Still in shock, he was unable to figure out why he was suddenly sifting through rubble. Damn, he had to get to that child. But why? He didn’t have any children . . . did he? No . . . he had lots of children. He had nearly two hundred and fifty of them.
No, no, no, that couldn’t be right. Nobody had two hundred and fifty of their own children. Why then, did those faces swim before him . . . faces of children he knew were, somehow, his responsibility?
I love this part. It really showed how you managed to combine Snape-with-memory-loss to regular Snape. It would be like Snape to say that he had two hundred and fifty children to take care of when talking about his students. But it's interesting that Snape doesn't understand this sarcasm. The memory-loss even made him forget a little bit of who he was.
I love how Snape discovers about what happened little by little. It's realistic, and it makes much more sense then if it all came back to him at once. Everything he does seems to make him remember a little of what he is and what happened. I also love how Snape manages to push all his despair to the back of his mind so that way he can deal with baby Harry. It's in Snape's character to push his emotions out of the way so that he can deal with the other things in his life, and this time it's no different.
Snape's interaction with baby Harry was great. I thought it was interesting that Snape is better with a little baby then he is with his students. He does a good job of staying calm, and trying to help Harry get to safety. I love how Snape talks to Harry like he is a mature adult like him. It's a lot like the way he acts with his students. I love Snape's reaction when Harry seems to understand what Snape is saying. Snape doesn't think that Harry will understand what he's saying; his students don't most of the time. It must have been weird to have a baby understand you more than your students.
Well no wonder; the house had collapsed around him, some scary looking ugly stranger he’d never seen had come and grabbed him, and wouldn’t tell him where his caretakers were. Snape KNEW what was going on and felt like crying; he could only imagine how traumatized the child was.
I loved this line. It combined Snape's sarcasm with his grief and despair. Snape's sarcasm comes from his hate and pain, so it makes sense that he would sarcastic in a time like that. Sarcasm is a way of dealing with uncomfortable things for Snape, I think.
Overall, I thought that you did a really good job here. The idea that Snape found Harry in Godric's Hollow is original; I've never heard of it before. Great job here!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. The Heads of House are effectively in loco parentis 24/7 for 10 months out of 7 of the most formative years of a person\'s life. I can absolutely see him thinking of the Slytherins as \"his\". I think we have a great deal of support for Snape being able to do \"crisis mode\" remarkably well. And while he\'s absolutely rotten to Gryffindors (and honestly, probably those of other houses), the Slytherins, at least in Harry\'s year, seem awfully devoted to him. Not all of them are good enough actors for that ALL to be show! Snape\'s problem with Harry in this scene was that Harry saw the Mark and was pointing to it and saying \"Peter\" . . . but since Snape didn\'t know Pettigrew was a Death Eater, he didn\'t cotton on. It\'s not so much that Harry didn\'t understand Snape, or that Snape didn\'t think Harry would understand Snape, it\'s that Snape didn\'t understand HARRY. Thank you for the lovely review, although I can\'t believe you\'ve known me for THIS long and hadn\'t heard about my Snape at Godric\'s Hollow theory!!! Have you been living under a rock? ;)
Summary: ElectronicQuillster's challenge entry for the HHWP
Henry has a quiet morning job that holds more bearing over the future than most people realize.
This was very interesting. I love how you described the way the prophecies are recorded.
Where did you get the idea for Stonehenge being the Hall of Prophecies? It's cool that you took a famous Muggle landmark and gave it significance in the Wizarding World. I'd like to hear more about that.
It's interesting that he needs to summon the spirit into the orbs. I always thought that the spirits just arrived in orbs; it's interesting that you need to put them in the orbs. I wonder why the spirits would only come in the morning though. Maybe most prophecies are made then or during the night.
I love how Henry has to go through the wardrobe to get to the place to transport the orbs. It reminds me of Narnia, when they went through the closet to get Narnia. Narnia is a magical land, and that room is where the prophecies go the Department of Mysteries, another strange and magical place. The magical chest that Henry puts in the orbs in reminds me of the Vanishing Cabinet for some reason.
Overall, this fic was very interesting. The Hall of Prophecies is such an interesting place, and I liked reading about it.
Summary: Having a problem with a boyfriend? A girlfriend? Are those pesky Lubkin Snapzits bothering you? Luna Lovegood is here to help. An expert in all fields, ranging from pest control to homework help to wild emotions, Luna knows all.
Luna Lovegood, after her ordeal in Hidden, goes on to become an advice columnist of the Quibbler, using personal experience to teach desperate, helpless souls what she knows. Read problems submitted by members of MNFF and even suggest one yourself!
Chapter One - Destroyer of Pretty Girls
I love Luna, and I really enjoyed reading you story. Luna has an amazing sense of humor, and it showed here.
Luna's revenge on Hermione is so perfect. I love the idea of her using one of her dad's creature on Hermione. It's funny that she's being sabotaged by a creature that doesn't believe exists.
I love the idea of Luna attacking Hermione's SPEWly efforts. Ron doesn't like SPEW, and would probably be grateful that someone hurt Hermione's efforts there.
I love how Luna's revenge backfired. It's funny that the Woolyshuck ate everyone's socks. I can imagine Luna finding all of her clothing eaten; it's probably worse considering how all the people stole her clothing in OotP.
Luna's suggestions are so funny. I can imagine the person who wrote the letter trying to find Nargles. I love how Luna seems to know so much about Antarctica; it seems like the perfect place to find her creatures. I love Luna's comment on sending her Neptune; it's so much like Luna to think of sending someone to another planet.
I really liked this story overall. Luna's the perfect character to write an advice column; she seems to have knowledge on everything. Good job with updating the archive, and hopefully your job as a mod will be less stressful now!
Summary: Fleur was getting married. I never told her how I felt. I never told her I was in love with her. And now I didn't have the chance.
Told from the POV of Christian Beaumont, the boy who loved Fleur in school. It all begins when he receives an invitation to her wedding, and ends up changing his life.
Fleur/Bill, Fleur/OC and [minor] Harry/Ginny.
One word - beautiful. You could really relate to how Christian was feeling. It had a great flow. I loved the ending. The message of the story was perfectly potrayed. Overall, a truly meaningful story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Summary: Exploring the relationship between Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall... A story of trust. Of faith. Of... love.
I loved your story. The interaction between McGonagall and Dumbledore was very realistic. I liked how you described McGonagall's past. Overall, great story.
Author's Response: Thanks for your comments, tc! :D
Summary: After many long years, Tom Riddle's diary is finally found. Written from Tom's PoV.
This is amazing.
I love how it's told from diary Tom's POV. I've never seen anything written from this perspective, and I really enjoyed it. It's amazing how much Tom sounds like the adult Voldemort. The way he talks to Ginny has the charm that the young Tom Riddle was known for. The diary Riddle here seems to combine the ruthless of the adult Voldemort with the charm of the teenage Tom. I love the combination of the two, and it really works well in the story.
Ginny is great here too. She sounds like an extremely self-conscious, confused eleven-year-old. She is very much like Ginny in COS, and after reading this, it makes sense why Ginny fell prey to Tom. She was confused and needed someone to talk to about her feelings; the first person to do that just happened to be the darkest wizard of the age. I love how Tom manages to exploit Ginny's weakness. Just by listening to and talking to her, he is able to manipulate her.
It's interesting how little, yet how much Tom knows. He knows that his adult self was murdered, and that Harry Potter was responsible for it. He also knows that a good friend of his (Lucius, I assume?) so that he could use it to open the Chamber. I'm curious to know how Tom heard about his downfall. Could he hear snippets of conversation from his hiding place in Malfoy Manor? Or did Lucius scribble little notes in it to keep him at least partially informed on the state of the wizarding world?
I hungrily absorb the information she gives me about Potter with the fervor of a malnourished child presented with food for the first time in months.
This line is so interesting. It really shows you how in the dark Tom is about the things going on the world. It also helps you understand what causes Tom to go from hunting Muggle-borns to hunting Harry. It's interesting how you manage to weave hints of Tom's obsession with Harry in; it really makes everything more interesting.
Overall, great job. I really loved reading this fic. Your writing is amazing; I have to read more of your fics.
Summary: Pansy Parkinson is a witch used to her comforts. Never was she supposed to have to deal with domesticity. However, when her house elves leave, she is forced to. When things begin to bubble over, she decides to confront the problem herself. And that problem just happens to be Hermione Granger.
Written for August Challenge 2, House-Elves Unite, by Chaser74 of Ravenclaw house.
I liked the chatacterizaton of Pansy. I can imagine her acting like that. She probably has never done anything for herself. Watching her trying to do laundry was hysterical. I have never seen someone have such a hard time with it. To most, it is a easy task, but if you have never done laundry before, then it would probably be difficult. The scene with Mrs. Parkinson cooking was also hysterical.
I enjoyed reading the train scene. I like reading it from Pansy's POV. It would nice to shove some people in a compartment sometimes. You could relate to Pansy in that scene. I think that Hermione gave up a little too easily to Pansy. I could writing a sequel to this, explaining what Hermione does to Pansy to make up for this. Apart from that, I enjoyed the fic.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the great review! I\'m so happy that you enjoyed the story-- the train scene is one of my favorites, too. Thanks for pointing that out about Hermione. I\'ll keep your suggestions in mind when I write her again. :]
Summary: How could one night change a life so drastically? Something as simple as choosing to take a walk could ruin a life forever.
Nell is a fifth year at Hogwarts, but she's not like the rest. She's been through more than most could even dream up.
I love your story. After reading the first chapter, I was hooked. Each chapter keeps getting better. The way you potray Nell makes her seem so real. The way she acts around Remus and the others feels real. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: It\'s so good to hear that people like my story. the next chapter is coming soon. Thanks for the review!
Summary: He is content in his old home. But when changes beyond his control begin to occur, the dragon realizes that this is not the end of his life but in fact the beginning.
I thought this story was very interesting. I never read anything in the POV of a dragon, and I found it very interesting. I liked how you potrayed Nobert's need to break free, and the same time, want to stay in his home. I think you did a good job at making it sound like a dragon. Good job.
Author's Response: Ooh, you liked my \'weird\' story! Thank you so much for reviewing!
Summary: Who we are is the sum total of our experiences and what we learn from them. Ron has grown up a great deal over the years. But because of the single POV, we don't get to see much of what goes on in Ron's head. This is my take on what goes on in there. Told in three "chapters". All three are finished and will be up soon.
Good first chapter. The flow was very good. It caught my attention and made me want to read more. I liked how in the dream you combine his two worst fears together. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you. The next chap is to my beta and also centers around a dream. With any luck I\'ll have it back this week and will submit it soon.
Summary: Embark on a dual tale, the one of both Mary Worth and Romilda Vane. But, reader, beware, this story is a frighening one, one that proves that beauty can't get you all that you want, and that stories sometimes become all too real.
Written orginally for the amazing Eliza and the SPEW T/T fic exchange.
This was great - perfectly written. It was creepy and dark - exactly what I love in D/A.
I love your Romilda. We don't know a lot about her from canon, but the character you created was perfect. She sounds for the most part like a spoiled, little ten-year-old. The only thing is that some of her dialogue seems a bit too sophisticated for a person her age. “Grandad,” she sighed. “That tale was an utter letdown.” It isn't something a ten-year-old would say. But her action did show her age. I loved how she demanded Archibald to tell her a story. It seems like something she would do. She thinks that anything she wants has to be done, so you would expect that she would order around her family like that.
Mary's story was extremely creepy. Even though Romilda might not have thought the story was scary, I did. Mary Worth is such a tragic character. She was driven to madness; most people probably would too, if my best friend and lover got married. I loved how she killed herself with the fragments of the broken mirror. Her vanity, the fact that she thought that she could get any man, is what really killed. It makes sense that the mirror, a symbol of her vanity, would be used to kill her. The way Archibald told the story was creepy, a perfect ghost story.
A young woman’s face, it was, with raked cuts down her cheeks and straggles of hair emerging from her bleeding scalp. Her lips were cracked and bleeding, her mouth toothless and gummy.
I love your description, and the above quote is a perfect example of it. I can picture Mary Worth perfectly. The description really added to darkness of the fic. It made the scene really come alive in my mind, making it even creepier.
Archibald is such a great character. He is perfectly developed. He is extremely perceptive; he notices his granddaughter's bossiness and attitude. But you can how much he cares for Romilda at the end.
Yet, the attack was on his precious granddaughter. Yes, he saw her now as precious– not a brat, not an annoyance, but precious. How terrible things can change your perception.
I loved this line. It is really true. You don't realize how precious things are until they are almost taken away. Archibald realizes this, and so does the reader. While I don't really like Romilda, I was scared for her when she was being attacked by Mary. It's great when you can make a reader feel sorry for a character they don't really like.
Great job overall! This is probably one of the best D/A stories I've ever read.
Summary: In the land of Ancient Egypt, those of the gift are given the honor of serving the gods. Panya is a Daughter of Buto and she follows the will of the Goddess Buto without question. That is until a mission forces her to question everything she has ever known.
Submitted by Gonz of Hufflepuff House for Slian Martreb's WWW class.
This was amazing. I've always been fascinating by everything Egyptian, particularly mythology. I love how took the lullaby and built an entire story from it. I loved Panya and her relationship to the snake, Asim. My favorite was the story line how she became a Daughter of Buto and what gifts she got for that.
Author's Response: Thanks. I had this clear idea of what a Daughter of Buto was, based off of goddess, but I didn\'t want to spend half of the story explaining it. So I wrote the lullaby. I\'m glad you like Asim, I wish Harry would speak to snakes more often in the books. Thanks so much for the review!