Just your average freshman college student, studying history and french *sigh*
I been around Harry Potter since the very beginning, even though I really wasn't interested to start with - I know *le gasp* - but thanks to my good ole' mum I am now obsessed.
Which HP Kid Are You?
I really enjoyed this story, despite the depression subject! Please add to this story--I think you have a good first chapter, but I don't think it is finished yet!
Discover the myth and legend of Asclepius – the Greek god of healing. Discover the roots of dark creatures like the Inferi and their evolved form. Discover the beginnings of that deep hatred and set traditions of the Wizarding world’s most ancient family.
Wow.....your story left me utterly speechless! This is probably one of the best fan fics I have ever read!
I especially loved the incorporation of mythology into the story of the Black family, in addition to including Nicolas Flamel...simply amazing! The characters were so real and well developed! I absolutlely loved how you had the additional scenes with the Flamel's and Nathaniel that helped explain everything through the clever use of art....your word choice was outstanding!
The plot was amazingly complex and well constructed, as well as thought out...you tied everything together so masterfully! I have never heard of some of the mythologies you had incorporated, although I knew most of the names, so I was equally impressed in learning about those--the facts at the bottom of the chapters were particularly helpful!
For characters that you created--you couldn't even tell they were not original to the story, because they fit perfectly into the context of the story. You also have a knack for picking names that suit the era (some authors pick unusual names that lack flow and sense in the Potter world), like that of Aris and Epione...
The absolute ONLY thing that confused me, was the fact that sometimes I didn't know who was talking in the chapters--I knew who spoke in the visions--but that is something that can be changed when need be! Very well researched! Excellent excellent excellent job!
PS-I hope I didn't gush too much, but I mean it when I say that your story was amazing...I was engrossed the entire time I was reading it!
Author's Response: Thank you for that long review and words of praise. :)
Actually, Epione is the real name of Asclepius\' wife but the myths only gave the name and no other detail.
You mean the change POV with each chapter?
My goodness, I thought I left a review for this chapter! Well, I think this looks fabulous...and I was tickled pink with the special thanks you gave me! Glad to help!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Of course I would give you special thanks, because I couldn\'t have done it without you! =] --Sugarquill Girl
Coppercurls, I just want to congratulate you on a story well done! Your style was absolutely amazing! The way you managed to suck the reader in with such beautiful imagery, and diction is a rarity these days, so you should be very proud of your work!
First of all, I would like to commend you on your originality! It is wonderful to see how you incorporated your love of art, and history, into The Portrait Painter. It made the story much more believable, seeing as how you created a piece that meant something to you. Incorporating those things also added a nice personal touch. Many writers never want to reread something they have written, because they believe it to be “absolute rubbish”, but I have a feeling this is a story that you love to read over and over again.
Where did you learn how to write all that imagery? Your story was the first one I have read where the imagery just flowed naturally, and didn’t sound too overblown. Maybe it is your love of art that influenced this. I can see many artistic references in this story, particularly the lovely passages where you describe Philippe’s mediums, sketches, and “eye for design”. I especially loved this part:
“She was a puzzle, an enigma this girl. Both dark and light, sorrow and joy, strength and weakness portrayed in her frame. Neither divine nor secular, angel nor demon. She was everything at once, and yet there was nothing you could label her. In short, she was herself.”
The way you incorporated historical (and magical!) references was subtle, but brilliant, and fit perfectly well in the story. You obviously did your research, and it shows (commends correct use of French!). There were some instances where the allusions seemed just a smidge forced, but your imaginative mind and subtle way with words definitely made up for that! The letter at the beginning and ending of the story was a great way to stitch up the loose endings of your story—excellent!
All in all, I think your story was one of the best I’ve ever read, and I’m so happy that you were recognized for that! Great job and I look forward to reading more from you!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the kind review! I admit I do like to reread this story as it is one of the best I have ever written and one I really wanted to write. (History nerd.) As for the imagry, I suppose that I simply read alot and learn from other writers, but also that I play the story out in my head while I write it. That way you can balance what you see and hear that seem to be important. As for correct use of French, I didn\'t do anythign too complicated, but I have had about six years of it now so it really wasn\'t as difficult as it seemed. Sorry if some of the allusions seemed forced- would you mind letting me know which ones? Thanks again!
I loved this story! First of all, I'm a HUGE ancient Egypt fan, and I love to learn about the many gods and goddesses--they are fascinating!
Placing Bill in Egypt was an excellent idea, seeing as he is the curse breaker for Gringotts, his character was very well written and thought out (I especially enjoyed how well developed all of your characters were!)
Even though I am unfamiliar with the ancient Egyptian tales (I know gods by name, not necessarily by story), I didn't even need to read the myth of Osiris to understand. It was very clever to portray the gods and goddesses in human form, it gave them more realistic characters, and reinforced the idea that this was not intended to be a myth, but rather a story based on one.
Your passages are very well descripted, and so realistic! You are able to capture the emotions of the characters very well, even with Mustafa, who as a character in the Harry Potter books, we know little about!
Great job! As a future archaelogist, I must say I enjoyed that aspect of the story, it is an incredibly fun and fascinating field! Nice characterization, plot, and incorporation of myth!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review, Katie. Mustafa is actually my first ever OC and I\'m quite suprised he turned out so well, at least I guess he turned out well as people seem to really like him.^^ I\'m glasd you liked the story, it was a lot of fun to write.
Wow........this story was very well written--I love the totally sarcastic nature of Lily! The characters sound exactly how I had imagined them! Can't wait to read more of this story! Is this your first fanfic?
Author's Response: Yeah, it is. Thanks for the lovely review! I love that side of Lily too, it\'s great to write.
I enjoyed this story! Draco was a perfect choice for the role of Narcissus--his self-loving image fits canon descriptions, such as the train scene in HBP. Pansy, as well, personfied the character of Echo, with her hopelessly devoted love for Draco, and sacrifice at the end fit very well with what I expected of her character.
Nott played a very interesting part in the story--I could never really side with whether or not he was the villain of the story, or someone who did good! Although, if I was put in the same position, I would have done the same thing to Draco!
I was also impressed with the way you wrote the story--it sounded as though it was written in ancient times, with your word use and structure of sentences! Great job!
The only other thing I wanted to say was the fact that Hermione seemed to be way out of character...I couldn't see her being that raving mad over what Ron and Lavender did, she may have had jealously, as I'm sure she did in HBP, but she is not the type of character to lash out with her feelings...but it worked well for the story!
Again, good job!
First off, I wanted to say that you are a very talented writer. The way in which you displayed the characters emotions was nothing short of brilliant! Many writers focus on the girly and immature side of Fleur, but you choose to write her as she truly is—clever. Why else would she have been chosen as the champion of Beauxbatons? Fleur knows how to get what she wants, as you so cleverly stated, and I loved how you brought that side out in your story.
The characterization of Bill and Fleur’s family was done impeccably well too! I loved the awkwardness Bill displayed at the Grande Maison, combined with the stiff, Petunia-ish nature of Madame Delacour, and the innocence of Gabrielle. It was amusing to see how the characters struggled to do the right thing, and still failed miserably.
Your story sends out some fantastic messages of love, family, and trust and you should be commended for a work well done! The way you captured Fleur’s internal struggle was done not only beautifully, but believably as well. I absolutely loved how you continually repeated the passage: “There she sat, out in the pouring rain, the droplets falling fast over her face and hair, her head held high with unquenchable pride. There she sat, one of the most beautiful young women in the world, inviting the rain to wash her away. Fleur Delacour knew for a fact that she would never have been sitting there like that two years ago. Before she met Bill Weasley.”
I did notice some errors in your French dialogue, though, that you may want to have checked. Also, when Fleur speaks with a member of her family, lose the accent, as it can prove to be distracting, and she probably would not speak to them in English anyway, even for Bill’s sake. The ending did seem a little too rushed to me as well. Other than that your story is fantastic and you should be commended for a work well done!
I really really enjoyed this story! There was just enough suspense in there to keep me guessing what had caused the rift between Lily and James. You portrayed their emotions really well, and the resloution was not rushed--again, great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I thought your story was very well written, especially since it was from Fawkes point of view! I really loved how you tied the prompts to the ending of HBP at the end---that was....*thinks for word* lovely! You have a knack for putting words together....good luck!
Author's Response: Thanks!
I enjoyed this story! I really like your use of descriptions and word choices--nice job!
The only bit that bothered me was not knowing the back story--what did Rowena do to make Helga hate her? Good luck!
Author's Response: Thanks! & don\'t worry, that\'s the mystery part! =]
I really enjoyed your story – I thought you did an excellent job! I loved how you incorporated sarcasm, parody, and irony, all with a humorous twist at the end.
Everything worked well within the story – the humor, the characters, the descriptions – all free of grammatical error (which is a mighty good thing). I loved the way Snape and Voldemort complimented each other throughout the story – their interactions were priceless. Snape kept very in character, while Voldemort did not, but that part was completely understandable by the end.
I especially loved the whole line about how Voldemort heard someone screaming as though they were falling/dying, but since he heard that sound so often, he couldn’t quite place it as being abnormal – and the line about the cookies, of course. The parody on the Peter Pan song was particularly funny, and fit well with the plot.
The only criticism I have is that the ending seemed to end too abruptly – not giving the reader enough time to understand what had just happened. I was confused about the whole Billywig curse, and how Harry tied into it – but no matter – I enjoyed the story immensely. Brilliant work!
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! :)
Really really good start. I'm definitely interested in reading more! I agree with Carole in that it was a little spooky.
Author's Response: lol But thanks for reading and reviewing. *hugs*