Hello, dear visitor,
I figured, after almost five years of frequenting Mugglenet Fanfiction, it's time I write out an author profile for myself.
I'm a twenty-three year old, thoroughly confused graduate student who has written fanfiction, amongst other things, virtually all her life. I've found MNFF in the summer of 2006 and went on to the beta boards to find a beta reader. I've been trapped here and there ever since. :)
I took down five (or six?) stories from the site when I left the realm in 2008. So now it's a fresh start. I hope you enjoy my stories, dear reader, and if you do, be assured that it's unbelievably easy to let me know by typing a review in the box below.
Thank you for dropping by!
Summary: How do you hold onto something that is gone forever? How do you let go of something that is a part of you? Many people will have to answer these questions in the aftermath of the war against Voldemort. Including Ginny Weasley.
I think this is a very refreshing writing in between all the one-type dark/angsty fics. I really loved your style, mostly because it resembles my own stories I always write in my native language. Focusing on emotions rather than action or narration. That's how I like it, and I think you've aced it.
Unlike kumy, I think your use of italics is a good choice. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't even think about where Ginny is and why all this is happening. The italics and use of first person PoV implicated to me that this is actually a journey through the depths of Ginny's heart. It is simply great.
However, especially some sentences in the first few paragraphs are somewhat unclear and confusing.
"The dog turns and walks away and I follow. I know that I don't want to go where he leads. I know that I want nothing more than to follow."
You use sentence in the beginning of a paragraph, but in the next, there's "I don't stop. I know where I am being led. I don't care about their gossip, lives, or deaths. I just want to get where we are going." Normally, I understand all the contradictions of feelings and emotions, but this one seems a tad confusing and even somewhat unintentional to me. But again, this is just how I felt.
Also, the dog thing looks a bit irrelevant. Explaining the why in responses to reviews only helps individuals. I think you should relate the dog to something or another so that it would fit better in the flow, not leaving question marks in the reader's mind.
To sum up, I think this is a very good fiction, and I congragulate you. If you want to read a more formal version of this reveiw, please drop by the Fiction Junction, Recommend Your Favourite Story Part Deux thread in the forums.
Author's Response: I hate an unresponded review. Read below for the response
Summary: Remus Lupin sits by a fire and ponders over his life, wife, and child.
A sweet and well-written story. There's just tiny mistake:
“For a girl,” I answer still staring into the flames, “Tala. A boy, Kegan.”
“Why?” she asks curiously.
“Tala means wolf,” I reply, “and Brant means fire.”
I think you've forgotten to change Brant to Kegan after renaming it :)
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the mistake :) and for the review!
Summary: I'm sitting here, writing down your traits. I don't want to forget. I never used to think that this would be what occupied my mind.
It's been one week since Remus left on that final mission. But what if he came back?
Winter Tales Submittion for prompt #4- The things that go bump in the night. I am Guiding Ray of Sunlight, of Gryffindor House.
Oh, Sunray, this brought tears to my eyes! And that's saying something, because a story written in English hardly ever affects me so much. It's only when it's written this amazingly!
Perhaps it's because I've been writing a Remus/Tonks story myself and that I'm in the mood that this story touched me so much. To be able to describe grief and mourning so perfectly... it's astonishing.
I don't know how much role Kumy has had in keeping the characters IC, but in the end, this is your writing, and I congratulate you on how well you captured Tonks and her feelings for Remus. A letter to the gone is slightly overused in my opinion, though you made it fit perfectly with the emotion and the characters. Maybe, despite being something of a fangirl, I wouldn't describe Remus in such a positive light, but you managed to convey through the letter how Tonks saw him, and it's heart-breaking. An excellent way to visualise such a strong part of Tonks's character.
The part where she visits Remus's memories is heart-wrenching. It so vividly sharpens the sense of loss, and I felt my heart breaking at the sentence Then I break out of the memory. I cannot bear it any longer. Because neither could I.
I also think the ghost-Boggart was genius. It's so smoothly blended into the flow - it doesn't stand out as the idea of Remus returning as a ghost would in any other conjuncture, but makes the reader subtly wonder, and it perfectly evolves into the Boggart, wrapping up the scene excellently. It's a truly masterful writing, Sunray.
I love such fiction that thus affects me, and this is a perfect piece of writing, especially for those who love a good Remus/Tonks. :)
Author's Response: :DDD Ayse, I'm so thrilled you liked it!! Kumy's part in keeping Tonks IC was making her a lot less weepy and poetic. She was kinda wimpy before. I'm possitively flattered that you like this story (which happens ot be the favorite one that I've written). Thanks for the review!
Summary: Sirius Black is travelling the streets of Hogsmeade, starving when he comes across a dear friend who once helped him.
Set during Goblet of Fire, Sirius realises how grateful it is to have a friend who will save your life when you're in dire need...
This is such a sweet little story; it made me smile and feel cosy inside. Mospy's characterisation is excellent; she actually reminded me a bit about Mrs. Figg.
Thanks for a lovely read in the dead of the night :)
Author's Response: Thank you for such a sweet review on such a long day :)
Summary: Albus Dumbledore has defeated the dark wizard Grindelwald and been offered the position of Minster for Magic. Turning down the generous offer, he instead sets out for Hogwarts to return to teaching and begin his new partnership with Nicholas Flamel. Yet something holds him back, and as he takes his time traveling across the countryside leading to Hogsmeade, he comes upon a mysterious inn by the name of the Green Dragon. There he meets several people who help him find his way back home through the fog of reluctance that shadows his journey.
This story was written by Gmariam of Ravenclaw for the New Year’s Challenge.
I just wanted to leave a word to say how awed I am at your work. It is such a powerful chapter, and yet it seems to be written so easily - you just seem to flow with words. *sigh* I will never be able to do that, darn.
Just one thing - it maybe because I haven't read the stories you mention in Author's Notes, but does Cathryn die the same year she was married to Albus? Because she seems to have died five years ago, and Albus remembers their marriage five years ago as well...?
Good luck with the challenge - though you already seemed to have preserved a winning spot :)
*mutters about being a stupid Gryffindor for daring to enter the challenge where Gmariam enters as well*
Author's Response: Hi Kehribar! Wow, what a lovely review! You are too kind! *blushes* Thank you for coming to read this story. I\'m glad you enjoyed it. I really like writing about Albus Dumbledore, if you hadn\'t guessed. ;) Yes, his wife Cathryn did die the same year they were married. It was very sad. It happened in the story \"Portrait of a Love Lost,\" which I wrote for the August Challenge. I was excited to bring her back for this story. I would hardly say it is assured of placing, though, there are a lot of good entries for this prompt! I\'m glad you entered, I will be sure to check out your story sometime soon. Thanks again for the lovely review, and good luck on your own tale! ~Gina :)
Summary: The youngest seeker in a century and he's taken a tumble from his broomstick that brings back things he thought were long forgot.
Hello (forgive me I still haven't learnt your name),
While just looking at the Review Circle thread, the title of your story looked interesting and I just clicked on it without thinking. I am so happy that I did!
This is such a sweet, beautiful, and well-written story. There are so many things that I don't know where to start!
Firstly, let me congragulate you on how well you capture the thoughts of a seven-year-old. It is wonderfully written, especially the repetition on getting a repent. It shows very well how children can stick to things they hear from adults but not quite understand. How his Aunt's and Uncle's treatment affects him is very clear and real also - it is heart-breaking. Excellent characterisation.
It was on the television one day and no one notices if I peak through the cracks to watch. While this is generelly a sad story, this sentence really touched my heart. It's really sad...
I gather the person with glittery eyes is Snape? That part was very sweet. I must confess that the story took an unexpected turn - because I clicked on the link I don't know the warnings and such, but I had expected an alternate universe where Harry would die and be with his parents, or just wake up and everything's normal where his parents are alive. The turn of the story makes it very interesting.
Just so that this won't be an empty review, I'll say that the very first pharagraph's a bit confusing. It's somewhat unclear who is "her" and who's speaking those "What? I don't have time for questions!..." part. It seems a bit off of the story. I'd consider revising it.
And again, a very un-important thing, but "Sweet Merlin" doesn't seem like something Snape would say to me.
But overall, this is wonderful piece of writing and I enjoyed it very much. Congrats! :)
-- PS. I forgot to ask; what does the title mean?
Author's Response: Ah, thank-you! This made my day. :D Sogni del Morire means \"dreams of the dead\", which is what this was going to be original - a dying dream - but I revised it as I was writing to make the ending that it\'s got now. The title stuck, though. It just seemed fitting, because it\'s still sort of a dying dream, like, that whole life-flashing-before-your-eyes thing; if that makes any sense at all. Anyway, thanks again for the lovely review! (You can call me Sophie, by the way).
Summary: "Gideon closes his eyes and thinks of “the Three Ds” that he was taught at Hogwarts. Though he has Apparated thousands of times, he cannot help but recite the steps in his mind before he goes. Every time. But as he concentrates on his flat in London and closes his eyes, he does not feel the familiar squeezing feeling. He does not feel a rush of wind. He does not feel anything."
Doing magic has never been difficult for Gideon Prewett. Never, that is, until now...
Written for the "Belief" prompt of the New Year's Challenge, and received second place!
Wow. This is almost always the one word to start a review, but I really do mean it. Your writing pulls the reader in immediately. I usually don't read minor character stories and such, because most of the time, they are not written masterfully. But your story is most definitely not one of them.
It's an interesting choice to use present tense for this story. Since it's about Gideon, whom we'd consider a "historical" character in fandom, and the first war, I would expect the use of plain old past tense. I mean, that feels right. But, you pull the present tense off so masterfully that rather than ruining the story, you give it a totally refreshing, kind of exotic taste. I'm in awe how you can blend the past tense of flashbacks and previous events into the present tense narrative.
The story's increadibly moving. I especially love how you make Gideon's feelings and thoughts so real. Would I be wrong if I presume you sometimes write what you personally feel / think by converting them to fit the story and character? I mean, if you just come up with them, not actually experience them, would these still be as effective and moving? If yes, you are absolutely a genius, my friend. If no, you're a wonderful writer ;)
It is a society that is on the verge of becoming completely numb to the news of more attacks, more casualties. They’ve all felt it, Gideon included; the feeling you get when you read the newspaper and are not moved by the description of the war. Does that make you a bad person? He wonders this. He wonders about a society that increasingly cannot even muster emotion for those they have lost.
So true. I felt like I was reading something about all the ongoing wars in the world right now. This is something looked over in fanfiction, I think. I mean, to connect the real wars to the first war in the Wizarding world. It does help it seem much more realistic, like you did. And it also touches the reader, leading them to actually think about war.
To be a bit more specific about the story, I wonder if the reason why Gideon can't do magic is his despair and disappointment in the magical world? It feels like loss of hope leads to loss of belief, and vice versa. A very true message.
Okay, I'm ending my ramble here. Sorry to give you a headache ;) But I'm very curious about the next chapter.
Best of luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Ayse,
Thank you for the incredible review! Without a doubt one of the kindest I\'ve ever received. I\'m *so* glad that you like the story! It\'s been both a challenge and a joy to write.
The choice to write in present tense stemmed from my desire for the readers to really connect with Gideon. I want you to feel what he\'s feeling, to see what he\'s seeing. Basically, to experience all the things that he is experiencing. Since the time and topic are so far removed, I really needed something to connect you to his world. I\'m glad the gamble paid off, in your opinon!
I can\'t say I feel *exactly* what Gideon is feeling, but I do try to place myself in his shoes. It helps, as you point out, that there is a parallel between the wars in the world right now and the Wizarding World\'s War. It\'s not impossible for me to relate the emotion of being numb to the news of the war, because it\'s a feeling I think many people are struggling with right now. It\'s incredibly powerful and important, and I hope I\'m getting it across well!
I think you\'re on the right track with loss of hope and loss of belief being coupled together. It\'s not something I\'ve tangibly spelled out, but it seems like the two would go hand-in-hand. Just this downward spiral of remorse and anguish and all sorts of bad things. Guilt, too, that he feels over Elizabeth plays a big role for Gideon.
Anyway, I should go finish up the final chapter before the deadline. Eek! Thank you again for the WONDERFUL review. It really made my day to see such nice words from a friend. :)
Talk to you later!
Summary: A poem about leaving a part behind when Apparating versus leaving a part behind when leaving a relationship.
Hello, fellow Gryffie!
I love your poem. It's simple, but really moving - I especially love the last coupe. An empty glove - really sad. It's also an interesting choice to focus on two opposing feelings in the two stanzas. The misty transition from humour to sadness is very clever. I wish I were more experienced in poem-reading so I could leave a more quailty review, but I'm afraid this is the best I can do ;)
But well - I like it!
Author's Response: *hugs fellow Toaster* Thanks so much! I\'m honestly not that \"experienced in poem-reading\" or writing myself, I just spit this one out one day. Glad you liked it. It\'s funny, I never thought people would interpret it the way they did, or enjoy it for the matter, but everyone so far has loved it! The mysteries of MNFFers! Thanks so much! See you in the Gryff CR!
Summary: When the war is over, the effects remain. Memories of death, destruction and fear haunt all those who are left. Possibly worse are the memories of what they had before. But there cannot be war without death, and those that are left after the end of the war have to adapt to the new word, as it is now.
Character death is featured, but not described.
Written pre Deathly Hallows.
Ash, this is, in one word, amazing. The tone is wonderfully evocative of the post-war atmosphere, and you handled the first person PoV so masterfully, somehow differently from any other I've read before. In the first few paragraphs, the use of second person plural rather than first person singular sets the tone perfectly, it gives the sense that the person is addressing directly to the reader. You managed to close the little gap the first person PoV usually forms between the character and the reader, so as the reader, I felt that I am the audience addressed by a real person. I very much applaud you in managing that.
The descriptions, combined with such a powerful style of narration, paint an extremely vivid mental picture. It felt almost as though I was watching a documentary where a war-victim spoke as the camera surveyed the post-war scenes - unavoidable destruction, death lingering over the ruins, bodies, monuments and the grief that defines those left behind. Your style makes everything extremely visual, and it is even more amazing because you manage this with little description of the actual scenes. Again, it's very masterful.
The dead paid the price for us, dying so we could live to fight another day, and so we could rebuild the world after the war. ~ This line captured my mind, especially the middle part of it. I found it touching that they died not to save the world or their friends and relatives, but to give them a chance to live to fight. It is a very different perspective, and touches the reader's heart, making everything even more real.
Another thing I noticed is that you didn't write the lyrics in italics. You did a splendid job of blending those lines into the flow of the narration; I would never have guessed those lines were lyrics if you hadn't mentioned it in author's notes. I think writing them in italics would diminish the effect. Great job.
I can only guess that the person who's speaking is Tonks... judging by the mention of Remus in the last paragraph. However, I really like it that you didn't make it obvious. Personally, it made me feel personally connected with this story, particularly because I had done exactly the same thing in one of my one-shots and I really love the effect. I think it allows a little room in the reader's imagination.
Overall, this is a wonderful piece of writing which is yet another proof of your great writing skills.
Summary: Ever wonder how quiet, shy Remus Lupin became friends with loud pranksters James Potter and Sirius Black? Watch the three boys form a bond of friendship that lasted forever.
Rated 3rd-5th years just to be on the safe side.
A very nicely-written and promising start. My main concrit, though, would be that Sirius and James sound more like thirteen or so rather than eleven. But overall, great. I love Remus's reaction (or lack of it), the spells you've invented, and I'm curious about what it wrote on the paper on his back that actually made girls hug him :)
Author's Response: thanks for the compliment and the criticism. i appreciate it all. and the sign said \"hug me\". it is supposed to be like those classic \"kick me\" signs that are on somebody\'s back and they never realize it.
Summary: You think about how many secrets you know, and how many things people say when they think no one’s there. It almost pays to be invisible.
Sixth-year Lisa Turpin has felt alone since she first arrived at Hogwarts. When life becomes almost too much to bear for Lisa, she wonders why things turned out this way.
A submission by solemnlyswear_x of Gryffindor to the Spring Challenge To Laugh or Cry prompt.
Wonderful story! You pulled off the second-person narrative masterfully, and Lisa'a characterization is excellent. She really got me thinking about being invisible, and the people who think they are invisible.
You chew, swallow, and take another bite methodically, not thinking about anything in particular.
I love this sentence, for some reason. I don't know; throughout the whole fic, and maybe somewhat because of the style, it seems to me that Lisa chooses or condemns herself to being invisible. I don't know if this was your intent, but I think it fits well with the choice she makes between laughter and crying in the end, because she makes a resolution by hoping that she can break the chains of invisibility. Did this make any sense? ;)
Congrats on a story well-written, and good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: You\'re exactly right about Lisa condemning herself to being invisible. She\'s so set on it, that she never tries to reach out to anyone else, until she decides she\'s sick of crying. So, yes, you made perfect sense! Thanks for the lovely review! =)
Summary: Part III in the Lily; Wilting During Blossom Trilogy. It is highly recommended to read the first two fics in order to understand some of the minor details, but the fic stands for itself. (Don't worry, they're all one-shots).
Lily has been working at the Terminal ward for nearly a year. But now, she receives a notice that she never wants. Her only hope is finding the right spell in order to spare the world of a little bit of hell. And how will she manage such a feat? Well, when you're a Healer in the Terminal Ward, you fortunately - and unfortunately - meet a lot of interesting people.
Oh, Sunray, this is truely beautiful! There's such a powerful emotion underlying every sentence throughout the story. I love it how you connect Lily's own worries and thoughts with Alex and Roxanne's feelings about the situation.
I especially love the first few pharagraphs where you describe Lily's feelings and thoughts about her job. I think you very well managed to connect with the reader - I could actually feel how sad she is. Wonderful work!
Also, the idea of Lily learning that ancient magic from someone else is very interesting! I've always thought that she didn't even think about magic at all when she sacrificed hersef for Harry. But you wrote it so masterfully that it seems very plausible to me.
I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's so sweet of you to write a story for your uncle. It's always a good way to deal with your own emotions, and to come to terms with the loss. I obviously didn't know him, but I'm sure your uncle would be very proud of you.
Overall, this is a brillant piece of work! I'll just go and read a few more of your stories now :)
Author's Response: Ayse! Thank you! I\'m really glad you liked it and found it plausible. Thank you so so so much for your review! ~Sunray
Summary: “He would never see James smile again. Sirius knew he would never again hear the voice of his best friend – his brother. Brothers look out for each other. They would never joke about anything again. They would never again have a “little too much” to drink and then have to try and explain it to Lily afterwards. Never again would he have his brother to remember the “good old days” when they both grew too old to do anything. Never again would the Marauders be together . . .”
Sirius had the perfect plan to protect James. But what happens when a flawless idea isn’t so flawless?
Written by megan_lupin of Gryffindor House, this is the final assignment for Professor Talon's DADA: Introduction to Dark/Angst class.
Validator's Pick of the Week (26 May 2007) on HPFF!
Hi Megan! I love your story. The summary pulled me in immediately - really, you've written a very intriguing passage - it really raises curiosity. I especially love the very first few pharagraphs: the storm, Sirius's nightmare, and James's arrival. Well, your writing is great, and I congragulate you on this. But... don't you think that this theme can do with some different style or point of view? Oh well, I personally think that if you really enjoyed writing it, and if I, as a reader, enjoyed reading it, then it's great! I just think that you're talented and experienced enough to maybe try something different - something like A Single Miscalculation, maybe. *smacks head* Stupid me. That’s a school assignment! Okay... ;)
Author's Response: Oh, Ayse, what a wonderful review. I\'m glad you liked this story.
A different PoV, you say? Like, tell it in first-person? To be honest, I\'m not usually very fond of writing in first-person (and I think \'A Single Miscalculation\' is my only try at it). But hmm ... I might just try something like it again.
Summary: A different perspective to the usual Marauder story. Friendship, violence, love... Look at the known story from Remus's pont of view.
I really loved it. And Dippet settling down in İzmir - interesting idea :) To tell you the truth, seeing Izmir at the bottom of the story quite shocked me, I had to read a few times to make sure that I understood correctly. Heh, I hadn't encountered someone else from Turkey in my two years on this archieve.
Anyways, I loved the story, since stories featuring Remus are my favourites, and this is written wonderfully.
Türkçe review yazmayı hiç denememiştim, zaten sanırım bu sitede türkçe yazmak biraz ayıp olurdu ;) Memnun oldum.
Author's Response: Thank you, I love having Remus in the spotlight really, specially the Marauders.\r\n\r\nEvet, Türk birine rastlamamıştım şimdiye kadar. Ben de memnun oldum=)
Summary: Peter Pettigrew was part of a close-knit group of friends through his entire time at Hogwarts. How then did he come to betray them, when they were never anything but supportive? What drew him toward the dark path of Lord Voldemort, and what motivated him to leave behind all he held dear?
This story was written for the One-Shot Challenge on Peter Pettigrew, option one. It was written by Gmariam of Ravenclaw.
Absolutely brillant. I don't know why I haven't visited your author page earlier while strolling through the archieves to find a really good story to read.
This may not make some sense, but as I read this story, I found myself thinking of my own small circle of close-knit friends, and how we keep falling further apart after graduation from the school at which we had spent seven years together. We're even in the same university, same department, and yet, life steps between us. I guess that's why I'm almost insanely interested in the Marauders and their fates - their friendship is too familiar. But anyway, before I go on and invade your review page with my musings, thanks for yet another wonderful and tought-provoking read, Gina :) Best of luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Hi Kehribar! Thank you so much for reading this story and for leaving such a wonderful review. *blushes* I\'m really glad you enjoyed it, it means a lot to me that as a Maruader fan you found it believable. I haven\'t written Peter very much and I\'m still a bit surprised at how he turned out. Thanks for the luck - see you around the boards! ~Gina :)
Summary: With Black on the loose and dementors at Hogwarts, all Albus Dumbledore wants is to protect Harry, keep the school from harm and keep Remus and Severus from killing one another. Oh, and to keep Severus’s estranged werewolf son, Auster “Feingale,” in school.
All Lupin wants to is to safeguard James's boy and keep his secrets.
All Severus wants is revenge.
And all Auster wants is his father’s love, long taken from him with a single bite, and he will do anything to get it. A different and dark take on book three.
Wow. Once again I'm extremely impressed with your writing. Having met Auster in the Transfiguration class, he had really gripped my attention. It's not just his devotion to his father that makes him so real - you managed to use that one specific feature to build up a well-defined and tough character on the whole. I think that's the one point where most of us fail to build up our original characters: they fall short on reality and a single side of them is exposed like a single apple on a bare tree. *grimaces at anology* I'm sure you got the point ;) So bravo, for not being trapped, and having Auster so intriguing almost as much as Snape himself.
What I mostly like about your style is the somewhat bitter irony, the sharp-edged light tone that defines your writing. I love the incision of thoughts into the flow, used side by side with first-hand thoughts in italics. It balances the darkness of the theme nicely, also managing to keep the reader waiting eagerly for more.
I, for one, am waiting so eagerly for the next chapter :)
And, I'm so sorry it took me so long to review.
Author's Response: Wow Thank you. I\'m glad you think Auster is realistic, I some times worry he\'s one demauainal. \"What I mostly like about your style is the somewhat bitter irony, the sharp-edged light tone that defines your writing. \" :) I hadn\'t really noticed I did that. Now that you point it out I think I do that a lot and not just in this piece. Thank you for telling me- because now I understand whey there are so many stiles I *can\'t* write. :) \"I love the incision of thoughts into the flow, used side by side with first-hand thoughts in italics. It balances the darkness of the theme nicely, also managing to keep the reader waiting eagerly for more.\" Again thankyou, I never though I\'d here I manged to archive balance.... I geuse I\'m going to have to try to get chapter 2 validated.
Summary: Harry vents his angst over what’s expected of him through poetry. As the time of the Final Battle draws nearer, he becomes more and more nervous and tentative to continue on the path he walks. The help people give him, the hope they send his way, none of it is enough for Harry on this particular day. He finally loses it and this poem shows what he really feels, deep down inside where no one has seen before.
Note: The violence and character death warnings are because part of Harry’s rant concerns the killing of Voldemort.
What a beautiful poem! As everyone already said, it's a wonderful portrayal of Harry's feelings about his 'destiny'. I really love it that you're aware it is not completly in-character for Harry to wish to die because of the prophecy - well, it may be an exaggeration, but it certianly is very realistic. It must be hard not to consider the easy way out when there's such a weight on one's shoulders.
A knot that won’t untie.
That must be my favourite line. It's so intense, so meaningful.
It's amazing that we have so very talented Gyrffs ;) Congrats on a poem wonderfully written.
Author's Response: Thanks so much Ayse! I knew when I was writing it that it was a bit OOC, but I thought it turned out quite well, so I still wanted to post it. I\'m surprised at the number of people who agree with me on the possibility of this though, even if it is an exaggeration.
Summary: Lord Stoddard Withers (1642 – 1769) bred Aethonans and held a Masters in Magizoology, specializing in winged horses. Lord Withers is most noted for his attempt to combine Quidditch with the Muggle sport, polo, shortly after many Quidditch teams were disbanded in 1674. Unfortunately, Quidlo, as Lord Withers christened it, never did catch on.
Overall winner of the Spring Challenge 2007
First place in the Wizard Card category
Nominated for Best Humor Story in the 2008 QSQs!
This was a wonderful piece of writing, to say the least. It's the most refreshing story I've read in a long time. No wonder you won the challenge, my friend - the setting, the invention of the game and the rules, the caos, Miss Ollivander, and especially the way you enabled the reader to see almost all pure-blood canon families' ancestors together in a game of Quillidillo ;) You so very much deserved winning.
“Well isn’t that interesting? The Snitch just Disapparated,” remarked Selena.
“No! That ugly horse ate it!” screamed Muriel Jones.
I really cracked up here. I love the small glimpses of absurdity you threw in the game - it was so enjoyable to read. Though Miss Ollivander have an interesting likeness to Luna, doesn't she?
Congratulations on winning, and thanks for such a lovely read :)
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so very much for your lovely review! I have to admit I had a lot of fun writing this story.
Summary: This is a strange tale about events that resulted to Neville Longbottom becoming the-boy-who-lived.
I blame a dead crup, Sirius, Bellatrix and some escaped fairies. Wipe that smirk off your face, I'm being serious here... really!
It's been a while since the last time I've enjoyed a story this much. It was a very nice way of turning the events from Harry to the other obvious alternative, Neville. I also liked how you kept the focus on Sirius. It seems like you see Sirius as the key to the events concerning the Potters, right? I like this approach, because it's a nice alteration from the obvious characters one would expect the weight to be shifted upon: I'd expect either Wormtail or Snape, as most writers tend to go for; or Neville as the focus of the story. But using Sirius gives the reader a sense of sideways glance at the events.
I also like the pragmatic order; counting down to the nail. It's a very masterful anology.
I understand that this is a one-shot challenge entry (Let me guess, did Kumy's nudges play a part in the writing of this?;) , but if you've had the time, I think this story would develop into a complete wonder if you'd work on it a bit more, and deeped it. I mean, I felt that some parts are quite shallow; if you'd elaborate with maybe some more dialogue, as if to take a few more sentences to establish the settings more soundly... But anyway, it is very interesting and enjoyable as it is, and I think you've a great change for being placed in the challenge.
Best of luck!
Author's Response: Hey Ayse!
Thanks for the suggestion. I\'ll try to add more scenes before the deadline ... (which is tomorrow).
*Laugh* No Our dear cheerleader Kumy is entirely innocent on this one. I was just browsing the archive and noticed that there\'s an entry for every house except my beloved Gryffindor. So took one of my favourite poem (which coincidentally fits the challenge) and wrote an entry.
^_^ You actually gave me too much credit for choosing Sirius. Sirius was simply just the easiest character for me to write and he does have that mean streak that reminds me somewhat of Draco so Slytherin.
Thanks for that great review and suggestions :)
Summary: In the midst of the woods, a clearing is visible, occupied by a small, secluded cottage, covered in the glistening snow. A wrought iron fence encloses the frostbitten garden, but in the back, the gate has been left open. A single line of footprints mark a path from the back of the house, through this gate, and towards an ice-covered trio of headstones.
Here, a trembling man kneels, his head in his hands...
Oh dear, what a heart-wrenching backstory for Dumbledore, of all people! Sad as it is, I enjoyed this story very much. It's quite interesting, as it's rather difficult to guess who the man is until the reader comes halfway through the story. At the beginning I though about Remus, then I wondered if it might be Severus, and then came the bit about auburn hair... The way you've slowly revealed the identity of the protagonist and the revelation itself keeps the reader gripped from the first to the last line.
On the other hand, the way you've constructed the story overall already does it, anyway :) The switch between past and present tense works very well, without having to resort to flashbacks, it carries the sotry forward as one whole piece. Having Albus meet Fawkes that way was a lovely touch as well- but it left me wondering, why did he thought of that name immediately? I felt that a short line explaining what Fawkes means and why Dumbledore named the phoenix that could actually work.
Oh, last of all, I just wondered; have you read any other fics where Dumbledore has a wife named Catherine? I had read such a story before, I believe written by Gmariam (although I may be sorely mistaken). It's very well-written and quite inspiring, maybe you'd enjoy reading it.
Anyway, I loved the story, the idea, the characters, the way you've written it... and the feel of having just read a really good story :) I do hope you start writing again soon!