1304 Piper Lane was my first stab at fan-fiction writing and I am very proud of how it turned out! Albania is a little harder to get into, probably because of the character selection, but I promise it gets more interesting and exciting! Please Read and Review!
Special Thanks to J.K.Rowling for creating such a wonderful world for me to play around in!
I really like it so far, but could you do anything about the large gaps between paragraphs? That gets a little annoying...
Author's Response: Sorry about that, we don\'t actually put in huge spaces, but it comes out like that, it might be a script error, glad you like it, we like it too
Author's Response: I agree... Sorweeeee
Neat! Write more!
I like it, heart wrenching for me actually...very well written. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks!
Interesting idea, I like it!
Author's Response: Thank you!! :)
I like it! Professor Dumbledore...really great idea. I've always liked Lupin, R/Hr, and H/G, so this was perfect!
One tiny nitpicking editorial note that you might want to fix:
"-- But is the risk too great, Albus? After all, they are only-" He was cut off by Albus clearing his throat and nodding towards the door. Aberforth didn't seem surprised by their arrival; in fact, he relaxed when he saw who was standing there.
Author's Response: thanks... I was typing really fast and didn\'t notice that!
Nicely done yet again!
Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it. :)
In answer to your question, I like what you've done with Ron and Hermione. At first I thougt it was a little rushed, but then I remembered that Arthur and Molly Weasley married right after school, and that in the last war it was pretty common, so it sorta makes sense. However, even if Harry and Ginny get back together before the final battle, I don't think Harry should propose until after Voldemort is gone. But it's your story, your choice, and you've created a wonderful story so far! Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks for the helpful insights. I had forgotten about Molly and Arthur so that helps make it mor realistic. As for Harry and GInny, marriage is not really an option, since Ginny still has a year of school. Thanks for the encouraging words.
Nice chapter, and a good place to leave it before DH. Snape...He's a bit of a jerk but I've always thought he wasn't an evil person...not assuming of course, only reading the signs in an optimistic fashion : )
Author's Response: Thanks, I am glad I didn\'t leave you all with a cliff hanger before DH comes out. As for Snape, who know\'s if he is good or not. I\'m writing the story, and don\'t know yet. ;) Take Care
Well, I'm all caught up and now will have to wait along with everyone else for you to update! Oh well, I know it'll be worth it.
Great job so far! I have a couple of things that I wanted to comment on:
Snape. Where is he? After hearing so much about him and him being such an important character, he seems to have no role at all in this fic! Harry hasn't really thought of him in his plans against Voldemort, nor has he been present at the Death Eater atacks. Please involve him more!
Animagi: I figured out Ginny and Neville, but I hadn't thought that all of them would do it. Then I thought maybe that's what Dumbledore told them in secret when Harry had to leave the room...is it? Or is that something we are still to discover?
I like how you've handled all the relationships so far.
Kreacher: I noticed that Harry told him not to tell anyone at Hogwarts about Lancaster, and at first thought you'd had a mistake, but I guess you put it in there deliberately now. Nice one.
Overall, I'm even more excited about this story than when I started, thanks for the awesome carryover until DH comes out!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review Spartacus. Sorry I missed this one earlier. As for Snape, he will be more important later on, although he doesn\'t play a huge role, we will have several chapters were he raised his greasy head. In regards to Kreacher, yes, Harry made a mistake in not telling Kreacher to back to Hogwarts and not to talk to anyone at all about this. There was a little lophole and Kreacher took advantage of it. I am really glad you are enjoying this one. Thanks again.
Ok, it was late and I was seeing things I guess. And please don't give people any more ideas! ; )
Author's Response: That explains it. As for ideas, I won\'t ever mention it again. :)
I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Cool description of Godric's Hollow, did you make it up by yourself?
Author's Response: Thanks, this was one of my favorites as well. Godric\'s Hollow is my on creation, so I\'m glad you like it. Thanks again.
Author's Response: Thanks for the great review. I like hearing the difficulties people have with the story. Your point about Harry and Moody, I think is a valid one. Although I don\'t think I do anything about it now. One thing I would say, is that Harry, at this point, is constantly gaining from the strength of his friends, in the house, even if they are not fighting with him so he is growing stronger at a much faster rate then a normal wizard. Sort of akine to Dumbledore in Order of the Phoenix, when the Owl tester says that he (Dumbledore) was able to do things with a wand that she had never seen before. If that makes sense. You do make a valid point though. As for the Horcrux, I got the impression that the curse was, sort of a trap, protecting the item not on the item itself. Hence the potion, protecting the horcrux in the cave. For Nagini, she can defend herself, and remember that she was not supposed to be involved when Harry and Ron arrived. Well I hope this helps with some of your concerns. PLease feel free to voice any that you may have in the future and enjoy the rest of the story. Thanks
Ok, halfway to being caught up and I wanted to take the time to tell you my thoughts so far:
I really like how you've handled the dueling practices in most cases. I have always believed that Harry is not as strong a straight up dueler as Voldemort is, and that if he had refused the help of his friends and fought Voldemort alone, he would have lost terribly. As Dumbledore said so many times, the one thing Harry has that Voldemort doesn't is love. So I really like how you make Harry fight well together with those he loves. That extra coordination is what I think will help him in the end.
One complaint about that though, is the Fred/George duel with Harry and Ron. Being a twin myself, who has played soccer with my brother all my life, I know that twins have very good chemistry together in that kind of thing, and I believe that Fred and George have very similar personalities and would not be an exception to this rule. I feel that something should have been mentioned or noticed by Harry about how well they fought together, and then he and Ron could have emulated them or something. Just a thought, but maybe that's just my twin bias talking ; )
Also, I think that you make Harry win a little too often and too easily. After all, Moody has been a professional auror for years and has put away some extremely powerful wizards. I don't think Harry could consistently beat him and Remus in a duel. Also I feel like the Remus/Tonks pair would have been particularly strong.
Horcrux: I got the feeling that the horcrux's had a curse on them that would make it dangerous to destroy them, so I feel Nagini went slightly with too little of a fuss. However, Riddle's Diary went pretty easily too, so not a major deal.
Sorry that I've made this a more negative review than my others, I'm just trying to give you feedback, the story is very well written and entertaining! Love it and keep up te good work.
Wow, this chapter had probably my favorite, and in my opinion, the funniest paragraphs I have read:
The rumor mill was nothing new to Harry, having been a victim of it more times than he could remember. He recalled when he and Hermione were supposed to be a couple in fourth year. That rumor had actually been circulated off and on for the entire time he had been at Hogwarts. Then there were rumors about him and Luna, him and Parvati, him and the entire class of fifth-year girls. He thought Romilda probably started that one.
He also thought back to some of the more laughable relationship rumors he had heard: he and Millicent Bulstrode, he and Pansy Parkinson, Ginny and Crabbe, Hermione and Crabbe, Ginny and Draco, Hermione and Draco. These last couples had Harry completely dumbfounded. Who would believe that Hermione or Ginny could ever think of Draco Malfoy as anything but a world-class git–even before he went off to be a Death Eater.
I don't know if you meant this as a subtle jibe at all the ridiculous 'shippers rampant on this site, but I took it in that context and thought it was hillarious. Personally, I dislike all the weird and in some cases scandalous relationships people cook up, and would like to take the time to thank you for sticking with Rowling's developement of the characters (I do like the Ernie thing though, but have a feeling he is seeing something that isn't there again).
Also, Ginny is the cat isn't she?
Author's Response: You have it absolutely correct. The rumor mill section was small nod, well more like a jab, at all the crazy ships that show up in fanfictiondumb. The Ginny/Draco and Hermione/Snape ones bother me the most but they all are pretty silly. Glad you liked it, and as for Ginny being the cat. Well you will have to read and find out now won\'t you. Thanks again.
Author's Response: No! Ok I really don\'t know what you are talking about here but I don\'t think Tonks is the answer. Unless the question is, Who is one of the cooler characters in the story, and one that I am really surprised there has not been a ship for, like Harry/Tonks or Ron/Tonks, or Neville/Tonks. Thanks for the review, though.
I enjoyed the nod to Star Wars in this chapter! And thanks for a little more Snape! Keep up the great work, I'll still read on after DH comes out if you keep posting!
Author's Response: I\'m glad someone commented on the Star Wars reference. That is one of my favorite lines from the movies. I will have finished writing before DH comes out, but I will not be able to get them all posted before then, but I am going to finish this. Thanks and Take Care
I like this alot...I really don't read too many longer fan fics because I don't have the time, but yours has piqued my interest and I can't wait to read the rest of it! Good work!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks. I hope that you stick with us through the whole thing. I have really tried to make this stay interesting throughout, and keep the pace moving. I hope you enjoy the rest, and let me know what you think, take care.
Wow, you had me scared there for a minute at the rehearsal. Nice chapter though, I stay up way too late reading this stuff, but you continue to make it so engrossing. One thing I would mention is that you move from time/location to a new time/location very quickly and a little too smoothly, without any indication in some cases, and that sometimes makes me feel like I missed something. I'll go back and double check that I didn't skip paragraphs. I can't really think of any suggestions how to fix it, it just occured to me when I was reading this chapter. Anyways, good work and I'll keep reading...
Author's Response: Thanks Spartacus, although I certainly don\'t want you staying up too late reading all this, and then having trouble at work or something. :) As to the transitions, sorry about that. I try and put the little ++++++ as a sort of indicator but it doesn\'t always make it clear. If you run across the problem again let me know. THanks for the review and enjoy the story.
I'm still trying to figure out whether you're setting Snape up to be good or evil...he has moments of each...hmmm
Author's Response: *strutting obnoxiouslly* heheheh... I\'m so good...
Author's Response: Ahem... To the above response.. I meant ME, not Snape. Although he might be. Or not... hehehehe
You are without a doubt the best writer that I have come across on this site, amazing stuff!
Author's Response: Well, considering the talent here... that is quite a compliment! Thank you! I hope that you enjoy the rest and leave a comment or two!
Well written again! While I believe that your presentation of the Death Eater training adds a lot to the developement of Snape's character, I also believe that it may not belong in a Harry Potter fanfic. As you yourself admitted, JKR would not have included this in her books. The whole debate over whether Harry Potter is demonic or not adds an extra reason to not include this in the story. I found it mentally disturbing and distressing, and I do not believe that young children should read it at all. I think if you include additional similar scenes, you should include also a MUCH STRONGER warning about the violence, as the preface to this chapter did not convey to me the nature of it's content. That said, you have presented such an engrossing and intricately woven story, which I truly enjoy reading. Please do not take my previous criticism to mean that I will stop reading if a similar scene is included, because I definitely will continue to read your magnificent story!